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Married and friendly thread?

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  • KosmosKittenKosmosKitten Member Posts: 7,903 Member Member Posts: 7,903 Member
    Talan79 wrote: »
    z1vfody0ftl2.jpeg

    Not much different than coming home and having three cats "talk" at you because "how dare you leave us, human!?".. except I'm actually expected to respond to the human. :D
  • tenazhsctenazhsc Member Posts: 66 Member Member Posts: 66 Member
    26.5 years of being an "A". 32 years if you add in the dating period.

    Hey man congrats! I've been married for 12 years. Please share some of the keys to make this thing last :)
  • fstricklfstrickl Member Posts: 261 Member Member Posts: 261 Member
    tenazhsc wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    You're new here aren't you?

    You know... I started this thread with good intentions like "Oh man some people here clearly consider this a dating app but there's also so many good 'pals' here are that clearly just looking for support and friendship like me"

    And as I was writing the post I realize oh man! this thread could be trouble lol that's why I posted it in the form of a question.

    While I do have a big sense of humor. I am also serious about connecting with other fun loving fitness oriented people married or not.

    The relative anonymity of a forum certainly does seem to give folks permission to behave outside how they would IRL situations. I’m sure there are studies on it and on how authentic community is or isn’t online. And I’m sure it’s similar in other types of forums.

    I think approaching things like this with a bit of honesty, sensibility and a good sense of humour is probably the way to go. MFP was made for non-medical health support but doesn’t mean there can’t be some goofiness along the way! 🙃🙂
  • KosmosKittenKosmosKitten Member Posts: 7,903 Member Member Posts: 7,903 Member
    tenazhsc wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    You're new here aren't you?

    You know... I started this thread with good intentions like "Oh man some people here clearly consider this a dating app but there's also so many good 'pals' here are that clearly just looking for support and friendship like me"

    And as I was writing the post I realize oh man! this thread could be trouble lol that's why I posted it in the form of a question.

    While I do have a big sense of humor. I am also serious about connecting with other fun loving fitness oriented people married or not.

    We are a troublesome group, but mostly harmless. :p
  • RightInTheFiveHoleRightInTheFiveHole Member Posts: 35 Member Member Posts: 35 Member
    tenazhsc wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    You're new here aren't you?

    You know... I started this thread with good intentions like "Oh man some people here clearly consider this a dating app but there's also so many good 'pals' here are that clearly just looking for support and friendship like me"

    And as I was writing the post I realize oh man! this thread could be trouble lol that's why I posted it in the form of a question.

    While I do have a big sense of humor. I am also serious about connecting with other fun loving fitness oriented people married or not.

    I enjoy the humor and the want to be "friendly" and not end up with d*ck pics in your inbox from wanting to be friends with someone :smile:

    Here's to being friendly about health and wellness!
  • GoJohnGo71GoJohnGo71 Member Posts: 425 Member Member Posts: 425 Member
    This is where all the simps are.
  • Dancer0515Dancer0515 Member, Premium Posts: 63 Member Member, Premium Posts: 63 Member
    tenazhsc wrote: »
    fstrickl wrote: »

    The relative anonymity of a forum certainly does seem to give folks permission to behave outside how they would IRL situations. I’m sure there are studies on it and on how authentic community is or isn’t online. And I’m sure it’s similar in other types of forums.

    I think approaching things like this with a bit of honesty, sensibility and a good sense of humour is probably the way to go. MFP was made for non-medical health support but doesn’t mean there can’t be some goofiness along the way! 🙃🙂

    Honesty is definitely a big factor in making online friendships work. When you get in a fitness and wellness zone people irl get sick of talking about this stuff hence I think this is a great community to accomplish that.

    I legit love MFP. I just started looking at the forums and i found a random friend that inspires me to continue pushing!!! Add me so we can inspire eachother!!
  • tenazhsctenazhsc Member Posts: 66 Member Member Posts: 66 Member
    tenazhsc wrote: »
    26.5 years of being an "A". 32 years if you add in the dating period.

    Hey man congrats! I've been married for 12 years. Please share some of the keys to make this thing last :)

    Start and end each day with I.L.Y.
    Don't cheat
    Take an interest in her interests
    Don't bogart the marital responsibilities, work as a team.
    Support her endeavours
    Find unique ways to compliment that don't sound "obligatory".

    Those got me through 13, but wasn't enough for 14. Best I got bro.

    If some of the comments on this thread are any indication I'd say number 2 is biggest problem lol
    Sorry to hear about your ending result. Are you doing OK now?
  • Ikeeptrying2Ikeeptrying2 Member Posts: 67 Member Member Posts: 67 Member
    tenazhsc wrote: »
    26.5 years of being an "A". 32 years if you add in the dating period.

    Hey man congrats! I've been married for 12 years. Please share some of the keys to make this thing last :)

    Off the cuff, for us...

    No belief in the 50/50 rule... Just 100/100. Anything short of that is not giving it your all.

    - Respect each other including the evolution of changes for both. Changes constantly come. Need to work through them all.

    - Be willing to work at it. Both really need to WANT it.. More than anything else... Very easy to walk away.
  • Dancer0515Dancer0515 Member, Premium Posts: 63 Member Member, Premium Posts: 63 Member
    tenazhsc wrote: »
    26.5 years of being an "A". 32 years if you add in the dating period.

    Hey man congrats! I've been married for 12 years. Please share some of the keys to make this thing last :)

    Start and end each day with I.L.Y.
    Don't cheat
    Take an interest in her interests
    Don't bogart the marital responsibilities, work as a team.
    Support her endeavours
    Find unique ways to compliment that don't sound "obligatory".

    Those got me through 13, but wasn't enough for 14. Best I got bro.

    The whole cheat thing is a big one. I also think for addition .. the things that puts a smile on my face is when my husband thinks of me and picks something out. He puts effort to make sure I smile especially on the days of sad. Its very important. Rememver the small things and do not sweat the big stuff!! Work as a team resonate too
  • KosmosKittenKosmosKitten Member Posts: 7,903 Member Member Posts: 7,903 Member
    fstrickl wrote: »
    I'm happily divorced for 3 years now and thoroughly enjoying my freedom to talk to people and be friendly without having my motives questioned

    Having been married for 6.5 years (I honestly can’t believe it’s been that long) I find the questioning of motives doesn’t come from my parter, but from other people! Even from other female friends. It’s like back off, if I talk to a dude my partner doesn’t lose his mind and I don’t care how many female friends he has. Our relationship better be stronger than that. I find the judging sometimes has impacted my ability to talk to cis-het guys. People need to be less judgey.

    Yep, this. My partner and I routinely get questioned by others about our motives "hanging out" with the opposite sex. He has female friends, I have mostly male friends. I don't question his intentions when he visits them anymore than he questions mine when I hang out with or visit male cohorts.

    Questions run like:
    "Aren't you afraid of..."
    "You let him just..."
    "Doesn't he think you're going to cheat?"

    It was kind of bizarre. Like, why do these people care what my husband or I do when it doesn't involve them? Sure, he can go hang out with whoever he likes. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Same for him, he'd let me hang out and play card games at the comic shop in the last place we lived until midnight. If I didn't come in before 3, then he'd call just to make sure I was okay.
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