Married and friendly thread?

KosmosKitten

ReenieHJ wrote: »

tenazhsc wrote: »

jcrav77 wrote: »

tenazhsc wrote: »

Any
a) happily married
b) just plain ol' married
c) disgruntledly married
d) married but separated but remained roommates
e) married and fully separated
f) married but I got served or I served him/her
people who are also friendly, the type that talks to strangers on the bus are welcome to participate here.
"I love my spouse" is a give in this thread...I guess at least for types a and b as listed above.
You hope nothing but 100% platonic banter. You wanna shoot the breeze and distract yourself from hunger spasms or you're just counting down to your next workout, please come in.

Groups d,e,f we know you're extra motivated to shape up but you can't quite participate in the singles thread yet, this is the thread for you

Let's talk about anything. Go!

What about those who could be any of the above depending on your spouses mood that day? I haven’t been served or served him but we both have papers in our inbox that could be printed and signed anytime. Lol living on the edge of insanity. Today I’m more of a B.

Two weeks ago on a Monday he moved out took the RV to the town he works in an hour away. Tuesday he came home and said let’s buy a pool. Wednesday he sold the RV “to pay for the pool.” I ended up paying for the pool. Last Wednesday he spent two hours yelling at me about why I wore a dress to go get my stress test done at the hospital I work at. Apparently I look damn good in that dress. Lol Friday and Saturday were great. Sunday mmm ok. This week he is buying a bigger RV only in his name. And going to start staying in the town he is working in during the week. “So he doesn’t put a bunch of miles on his truck” I’m just along for the ride. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You sound like a good sport. Here's a meme for you lol


But seriously, are you serious? Did you know he was gonna be like this before marrying him?

People change so much, as they age, or being with someone for a number of years. Not to mention, there's a reason for the saying 'the honeymoon's over'. Most are on their best behavior until they know they've got ya.

I don't know what I am anymore.
We got married in 1978, had 4 children, separated in 2008(there abouts) and just started living together again a year+ ago. TBH, I liked living alone so much better and wish we had divorced when it was the right thing to do but there's no turning back now. We talked about it a lot before he moved back in so I thought there'd be change from the both of us, more respect, tolerance, kindness, less expectations.
*sigh* funny how easily all those old habits come back. BUT the upside is we have separate bedrooms we can hide in and his room is where the TV is.

Kinda learning this as I go, although we aren't at this point in our relationship (hopefully). People definitely change as they go through life. Doesn't matter if you are married or not.

Are any of you the same as you were 10 years ago? Doubtful. If not, I'd say it's sad that you haven't grown or developed in that time since most people tend to slide one way or the other. They either grow as people and get more mature, better insights and make better more stable decisions.. or.. they remain childlike, never progress in their mental development and stagnate.

My s/o and I are more or less still good to go, but he is quite different than I am politically. We still get along. Our current "debate" is "where will we finally settle down and buy a house after his time in the military?". He wants Alaska. I vehemently vetoed it as it's too cold and I can't live there. I want Japan (based on our time already living there), he vetoed that because blah, blah, blah, American freedom, blah, blah, *kitten*. So we're at a standstill because we can't compromise on a place to live. This may become problematic as we get closer to him leaving the military, but so far.. we've been civil on the issue.

My point is that people/places/things change over time. I can't expect him to be the same a decade ago as he is now and he can't expect that of me.

KosmosKitten

ReenieHJ wrote: »

I see my sister and her dh who has Alzheimer's. They've been married over 50 years and admits they've had rough years and great years. Watching her devotion all this time while getting the 'short end of the stick' has me wondering if anything like being happy together, is a reality. I know she loves him to pieces and he has in his own way(maybe during recent years even more so)returned that love. I watched my parents stay together through thick and thin, for over 50 years. It's a very rare thing these days. People don't have the tolerance and patience they used to, myself included.

I believe happiness is an illusion/construct for people to strive for when they are at their darkest.. or to fool themselves into thinking their situation is better than it actually is. Contentment exists, sure, but true happiness? No, I think it's an illusion because most people see it as some static state you're supposed to achieve, like some sort of emotional nirvana... which is just absurd.