Why do girls like jerks? Why do they put up with them?

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  • luceegj
    luceegj Posts: 246 Member
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    They're confidence! I know thats why I do it!!!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Pick different girls.

    Huge generalization you have going on here.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
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    First of all, we're women, not girls. Secondly, all women don't like jerks. Some women do. If you're encountering that constantly, than you are simply attracted to the wrong women for you (assuming you're not a jerk). So I'll turn it around on you. Why do some men keep falling for women who are unobtainable for them?
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
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    Pick different girls.

    Huge generalization you have going on here.

    You said it more succinctly than I. I should have waited 2 minutes. =)
  • Maaike84
    Maaike84 Posts: 211 Member
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    I think this is true with good women, the whole opposites attract and there are so many programs and studies out there to to help them. it is common knowledge that women dont initially go for the nice guys but they sometimes will fall for one. I get it, jerks tend to be more fun, more alpha like, outgoing, show more confidence, and makes women feel safe and invincible. I am all those but jerks are just louder and in their faces. Jerks love good women as well cause they have have them as their safety net and take advantage of their caring and loyal nature.

    My life was ruined because of good women who like jerks. Before anyone says anything, yes, they are really amazing women but just love the bad boys. It is so common. I have never been able to get a good woman because they is always that one jerk ex that wont move on. Yall have heard this before "he needs me or somebody cause he has had a rough life or has no one". Yeah, because he is a jerk to everyone. I love this one too, "I didnt know he was a jerk". Sure you didnt, your friends all told you and you couldn't tell he was when he was peeing on the sleeping homeless guy?

    I never married because I have to date women who I would never marry. Been stuck with the career independent I don't need a man type for years. Many men dont like to date them either but its date or never date. It sucks cause I have such a sweet spot for really kind and sweet women who volunteer alot but the ones who don't like jerks are married and the ones not are still trying to fix or help a jerk. It also seems after they finally do move on, they just go out and look for the same guy.

    I am really impressed with the women in this thread, many are admitting it. Sorry for my long post but it has been hell being the nice guy after they try to date a nice guy after the jerk. Two guns pulled on me, got robbed, once homeless because of this, and wasted years while most are married now. They try eventually to date the nice guy but let me tell you, it not fun being that nice she is trying to date after these guys. The walls (which they make it near impossible to get past when jerks just break it and them), drama, and time wasted.

    One thing for the women, it only take courage to stand up again a jerk and walk away than with a good guy when there never was a fight.

    Wait, what? My boyfriend seriously is the nicest guy I know, so if opposites attract, am I then a *****? I guess I am from your standpoint - since I'm the type of girl you'd never marry, as I'm also "the career independent I don't need a man type" that you've been "stuck with" for years.

    Sorry that you've had some bad experience with some women, but really - not all women only like jerks (though we all seem to have come across one or two dating-wise) and if you describe your relationship as being "stuck with someone" then maybe it's time to take a good look at your own relationships instead of making such sweeping generalisations.
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
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    why do men like b****s
  • PunkinSpice79
    PunkinSpice79 Posts: 309 Member
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    maturity and self-esteem.
  • GlassesandComics
    GlassesandComics Posts: 3
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    I don’t really think women go out of their way to date jerks. If anything, I think women end up dating jerks who disguised themselves as gentlemen the first few months of dating. You know, the honeymoon phase where you try your hardest to appear ‘perfect’ to your spouse. And then the illusion breaks and women see the jerk as a jerk but the thing is, because the jerk sold himself as a gentleman, the spouse feels like his ‘change in behavior’ can be fixed, so they stay.

    In the instances were I've seen girls go out of their way to date jerks, it's usually because 1. They want a rebellious bad boy 2. They wanna 'change' him like some romance novel bull 3. The girl has low self-esteem and the guy builds her up then tears her down.
  • FerretBuellerr
    FerretBuellerr Posts: 468 Member
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    Girls always want what they can't have.

    Jerks are unattainable - either because they're "players" or because they are just such idiots that you can't stand to be around them any longer.

    That being said, I think every guy I've dated can be considered a "jerk" - but it depends by whom. My ex's were jerks to everybody, including me, and they had no respect for anyone else or for themselves. But my current boyfriend is the biggest sweetheart to me, and a jerk to almost everyone else, and I'm okay with that because I get treated best :laugh: That might sound bad, but his personality and attitude is MUCH more positive and respectful than any one else I've dated before, so I don't really consider him a jerk at all.

    Agreed with what a few people have said - if you're lucky, you grow out of it. I think that's part of what separates "girls" from "women"
  • Softrbreeze
    Softrbreeze Posts: 156 Member
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    I think it comes down to insecurity for most, but bad boys can also be challenging and stimulating (think adrenaline) and I think most girls fall for the idea that they are going to change someone for the better (almost always a lost cause). Bad boys are bad because of some deep buried personal pain, or so the thought process goes. Mostly they are just born jerks, imho.
  • luceegj
    luceegj Posts: 246 Member
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    why do men like b****s

    The girls got a point! And sluts (I mean as a girl friend) When did the hard to get rule and the chase fly the f out the window!
  • ZealousMissJJ
    ZealousMissJJ Posts: 454 Member
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    A lot of women don't want push-overs. We want a guy that can take control, keep us safe, is exiting, mysterious, etc.. It's what turns us on. Same reason a lot of guys like a sexy type of girl. High heels, long hair, *kitten*, boobs, girlie. Not saying it goes for all of them, just saying it goes both ways.

    Unfortunately those types are often also hard to handle and a general pain in the butt :tongue:. Not always, but often..
  • m16shane
    m16shane Posts: 393 Member
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    If by jerk, we are talking about the strong, confident, arrogant bad boy kind of thing..... Then I believe it's an instinctual thing. In nature, the females are attracted to the Alpha wolves of the pack because of her survival instincts and the fact she wants her pups to have the strongest possible bloodlines. But, if we are talking about just plain jerks, well, then I'm as puzzled as you are.

    I wouldn't define an Alpha personality as a "jerk". In the barbaric sense it is a dominance trait that is useful in a group as leadership. One can be an alpha and not abuse a woman mentally or physically. The typical "jerk" that does abuse women mentally or physically usually suffers from a lack of self confidence and many other issues.

    Like others have said, the woman that stay with this are typically lacking in self confidence and feel that they can't do any better. While the jerk just continually feeds into this mentality.
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
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    Girls always want what they can't have.

    Jerks are unattainable - either because they're "players" or because they are just such idiots that you can't stand to be around them any longer.

    Wait a minute........ Theres a place where you can go get one!

    the-real-life-jerk-store.jpg
  • luceegj
    luceegj Posts: 246 Member
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    maturity and self-esteem.

    Thankyou!!!! All this bloody psycologic crap!!!! CONFIDENCE PEOPLE! I know I am pray to man *kitten*!!!! I LOVE THEM -_-....... I think I need help!!!
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
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    responding to Maaike84 , "what? My boyfriend seriously is the nicest guy I know, so if opposites attract, am I then a *****? I guess I am from your standpoint - since I'm the type of girl you'd never marry, as I'm also "the career independent I don't need a man type" that you've been "stuck with" for years.

    Sorry that you've had some bad experience with some women, but really - not all women only like jerks (though we all seem to have come across one or two dating-wise) and if you describe your relationship as being "stuck with someone" then maybe it's time to take a good look at your own relationships instead of making such sweeping generalisations."
    [/quote]

    First of all, no one said all and said you. I dont think all women do but many do and many will admit it. I think that it is amazing that you dont like them but with many, opposites do attract. I know it is trendy to say words like generalizing but no one is here to offend anyone, we are just talking about how hard it is to find a good single woman who is like you. We are not trying to be disrespectful to anyone but it is hard to find. Sorry.
  • RoninLife
    RoninLife Posts: 64
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    Honest truth? Guys who are labeled "jerks" are usually good looking, exciting, dangerous and good in bed.

    But on the flip side, there are guys who like psycho women. You know that term, "Hot- Crazy Scale"? As long as they are hot, they are allowed to be crazy.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    Why do girls like jerks? Why do they put up with them?
    Because eventually someone has to eat the leftovers.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    Everyone wants what they can't have.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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