barbiecat Posts: 15,401 Member

:) For several years I have been posting with Women Ages 50+ on MFP and have gained support and encouragement. I plan to continue that again in August.

:) I hope you'll join me on this journey to wellness.

:) If you have goals or resolutions, please tell us about them.

:) If you have questions, please ask them.

:) If someone asks a question and you have an answer, please share it.

:) Don't forget to bookmark this page so you can find it again.

:) Please sign your post with a name or nickname and a location, specific or general so we can respond more easily to each other.

:) I look forward to this journey with you by my side.

<3 Barbie from NW WA

My word for 2020 is "flexible".



  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 2,259 Member
    Thanks Barbie! B)
  • okiewoman510
    okiewoman510 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Thanks Barbie for giving us a clean slate for August.

    Okie in the TX Hill Country
  • csofled
    csofled Posts: 3,022 Member
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 5,670 Member
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 2,024 Member
  • spikeyhair
    spikeyhair Posts: 2,061 Member
    Thanks BARBIE for keeping us going

    HEATHER looks like you enjoyed your boules afternoon. Used to play that when my grandkids were small.
    Covid cases here are going up as well, feels like the second spike beginning

    I’ve been logging food and keeping below calories and 4 pounds has gone, I know most of this was bloat but happy nonetheless, I need the encouragement to keep going. Have persuaded DH to stop offering me biscuits and cake. Carbs are my downfall especially my brown seeded bread, can’t just eat 1 slice ((sigh))

    Stay safe

    Kate UK ❤️
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,397 Member
    edited August 2020
    @barbiecat Thanks for starting us off again!

    @Machka9 Thanks for your tips again. Eating back only half the activity calories when very active seems wise. I'm going to aim for that. Your approach sounds similar to WW. (or WW online was about 9 years ago). They only add about half the calories back to eat for activity calories burnt, AND they have a lot of weekly calories. That's what i meant about "splurge". They have about one sixth to one eighth of weekly calories that can be spread over the week as one likes: All in one day for an event if one likes or some days and not others, etc. That worked really well for me and for many as it seemed to make it easier to participate in big social events without concern. (a meal out here and there, a celebration, or just a treat to enjoy)

    Machka, do you have zero distance work now? Most places have at least one or some days per week distance now at least for those who want it. it was already a legal thing in france. a set of laws for allowing distance work since 2016. i'm not sure what is involved. i think it's often 2-3 days max per distance work and may depend on organism and type of work. my banking industry friend was 100% distance and then they said now they have to come in 2 days per week, but finally they are questioning if that is really necessary.

    Do you have the possibility of doing 4 10h work days ?

    @dellafayefox that is a scary story with the guy aggressing you, glad you got the upper hand and he got a month in jail. how unwise of him to have tried to send you to jail. that is one early schedule from 3am to 6:30pm!

    @auntiebk thanks, i think it's sometimes easier to help others than oneself. i have sometimes helped people stuck w clutter. Paper clutter is the worst, the longest for me.

    @Kymarai I'm so sorry you went through that as a child. noone should have to. Not the same, but I feel uneasy withdrawing money from ATMs, or going to ATMs because everyone is wearing masks so the videocameras around the ATMs are not much use.

    @kymarai what is it that you co-own? it sounds like a shop of foodplace since there is a counter. Can you set firm limits, with schedules and rules? and set times when you will not be there and agree that one of you has to always be there? or find a way for her to do other things to balance if the customers prefer you? or she can be specialist in certain areas? It sounds long installed but can be similar in many human relations. i'm co-founder of this collective with a lot of work and this one guy is always away and calls to give suggestions - that's ok, as it's all volunteer, unpaid work and we are free to invest as we choose, but when he started second guessing and criticizing the work that i had done well and he was not at all available to do, i had to "dot the i's" (expression in France meaning, set some things straight). In your case it's more complex. but maybe there are some partial solutions by being clear and firm, and possibly having a 3rd person to relay if neither of you 2 are free at some points.

    @Anniesquats100 sorry you had that experience. Flattery can be so tricky. Sometimes people can be sincere and positive and it's sometimes hard to know what is true and what is not. All compliments are not insincere.

    I have not left lovely polluted Paris for a year, due to major transport strikes last dec-jan then COVID, then work obligations + lack of good laptop to keep connected on essential from afar. Rates are up this year for beach-y places since only about 25% of people on vacation are leaving France this year. Trains are harder to book too. i finally booked a train ticket and one night at a hotel by the sea for Monday night. i have to switch renters on Sunday (old one out, new one in), which requires doing inventories together. I'm gonna try to book something somehow for following 2 weeks. it's difficult this year, but i REALLY need to get away from the city and home for a while. i feel a bit burnt out.

    I have not had a good computer for over a year, though like many teachers i do tons on my computer and more with COVID. i have a 3 year old and a 5 year old macbook both with retina screens both of which i had replaced at one point and which promptly broke or glitched again (500+ euros per screen for a 1500 euro computer), and which i didnt replace the 2nd time. one works sometimes and then gets all foggy, the other not at all and is connected to external screen (so not a laptop really). Fed up i bought a cheap PC laptop, Le novo for about 350 new, but it is very clunky and hard to use often. finally i decided to get the newest mac laptop screen fixed again (still cheaper than new and it seems to have plenty of life left in it).
    I found, from a friend-collegue a place that fixed it for 440 instead of say 580, and in the day instead of 1 week.4.8 stars online review w hundreds of reviews. BUT they totally messed it up, told me it was fixed and then later said they only fixed it 98% (??) and would have the total fix in September. they also said my topcase was out of shape and had to be replaced (+80). i said no thanks and i will take it as it was. i'm not paying 500+ for a partial repair. I went to pick it up and it had problems it didn't have when i brought it in. i was furious. the guy was calling me a liar, and this went on for a good 15 minutes or more. on the paper it said 'screen broken' (imprecise) it didnt say "white spots, very pale screen", etc.

    I asked him to show me how my original topcase was out of shape, and he said it was not out of shape. So they were going to CON me on that too.

    he was suddenly quiet. The place closed at 2pm yesterday with no repairs till Monday. (supposed to be done Thurs evening). The owner called me about half an hour later after closing, and apologized and offered to fix it half price, but i don't even know if the screen was to replace; i was planning to go away with computer on monday but i'm gonna leave the computer behind and too bad. I easily wasted 5h with travel and waiting time and several days. i chose this shop because they were supposed to be faster than the closer by one.

    I wonder if he googled and saw i work and live in paris and am not a passing foreigner that they can have one over on without consequence. The people i saw yesterday said it was the owner who had done the diagnosis. the owner seemed to imply he was unhappy with the people who had seen me yesterday and the customer is first. this customer is first is not an approach commonly applied in France, unfortunately, though it's changing sometimes. Customer service leaves much to be desired here. It is kind of night and day compared to the usa. It still makes me angry when i think about it, but i'm gonna go away computerless to start and see what he says on Monday.

    I think about 50% of guys on webdating (or other websites where meeting is common) are guys in couples pretending to be married. I have most definitely heard there are many women (or people pretending to be women) from Bolivia or Russia trying to get money...for a plane ticket to come visit. (and yet i know some people who married real russian lovely women met on websites too). There are presumably the other 50% or so that are real and sincere and not money-grubbing, nor in a couple.

    I'm not a big enthusiast,but sometimes webdate in summer when i have time. i don't spend long online, speak on the phone if i am curious and listen carefully.(since some say about half are men in couples). I had a drink w someone on Thursday, first time in a year in online dating. he seemed fine and pleasant but it didn't particularly click in a romantic way. During transport strikes 25 years ago i had met a guy at a real conference and we had phone conversations after that. (since with the transport strike it was very hard to meet and he lived an hour away and roads were blocked with heavy traffic) Then finally met after a month. Even then, the phone was not a good gage of reality. we seemed to click on the phone, but not in real life. he wasn't a con artist onr in a couple. in fact he was a nice guy and he was hurt and angry when he realized it didn't click but i don't think it really did for him either if he was sincere. (he had sent flowers). it was a lot of projection. Now i base thoughts on face to face time live in person.

    I also give a different name online to start and don't give too much info about my work. i'd be easy-ish to find with my name job and place of work (which people often ask quickly) and you can occasionally find crazy people.

    I also went to this speedwalking group a few years ago (through online meetup site in france) several times. One guy seemed super-normal, mild-mannered, regular job, lived not far, 2 kids, and so we agreed to have dinner. He had 5 drinks (me zero) was agumentative and didn't stop calling texting, mailing. i had to block him on the site and avoided the speedwalking group for a few years till he was no longer in it.

    @cityjaneLondon I agree that one has to use one's head in love. Lower hormones with age makes it easier i think. In France the word "Sensible" means what is in English "sensitive". I frequently explain this and then ask them (in humor, as it is not our subject) if it's better to be sensible or sensitive in love. The answers vary. I would agree both are needed.

    @TerriRichardson112 thanks for the poem, i love it!

    now masks are required in shops. It was VERY hot on Thursday and Friday. I felt VERY unconfortable in ikea (for my much-needed shelves, i need to see them live to have a feel), and again yesterday wearing a mask. Higher ed has has ZERO work days (no classes in higher ed), since COVID so i wonder how i will manage when i have to wear a mask for 4h straight...
    I wonder if i should get a plastic window mask so students can see my expression and mouth.

    @SuziQ113 CAMPING
    I used to love to camp from early 20s till sometime in 40s. We didn't camp or go away much when i was a kid. I think the 5 kids camping was a bit daunting and it wasn't common in our circles back then. I recall only 1 overnight church camp with the whole family when we slept in huge stand up tents. But LOTS of camping and hiking in my 20s and 30s. I could sleep easily anywhere. A 1cm foam and a sleeping bag was fine. Now the extra work (going somewhere to wash dishes, etc) doesn't seem so relaxing. I have to spend much more time on work now than i was in my 20s and 30s, so i need leisure time to really feel like kicking back much of the time. I love to walk, and swim and visit, but not so big on setting up, etc.

    If I try the goals such as you suggest them Machka, i have, this month.
    Financial Goals:
    -As close as possible to zero-based budget.
    -No need to transfer money from one account for living or holiday expenses.
    - Check what's going on in partially stock-based savings (i know close to nothing about stocks). (I know it had lost 90% COVID) but i see every thing is tanking and maybe i need to sell and put into cash---),
    - keep making progress on filing
    - Pay bills
    - follow up rental repair (mild water damage last august, slow to solve partially due to covid)

    Spiritual Goals:
    -meditate 5 min per day

    Health Fitness Goals:
    -Walk w heart rate monitor at least 3x a week, (w/rate above 115 for 20 min or so) (no more gyms here for the foreseeable future).
    -Track all and aim to lose 0.4 k per week. (a bit less than a pound)
    - Get progressive glasses. (finally, i've been able to get by without glasses for reading till now, but it gets tough on very fine print).
    - Get hiking sandals or something close.

    Educational Goals:
    -Work 4h a day on thesis after 2 week vacation break starting, so from Aug 19
    -read one of the novels I bought Aug 3.
    Family and loved ones Goals:
    -Read sister's emails
    -Go to exhibit and do a writing session with M.
    -Meet up with friend.s at 1x a week.

    Career Goals:
    -Send email to required address for training period
    -Disconnect till August 19 at least
    -Update website

    Home Goals

    - follow up repair water damage (here too) slowed due to COVID
    -order big shelving unit to stock my masses of papers (for thesis, teaching etc) (ikea online)
    -maybe; order smallish sofa bed
    -order small, round dinner table (ikea online)
    -Get rid of Japanese divider if not fixed by end of august (very useful but fragile and broken)

    Weight AND SO ON
    I have not been sticking to tracking and keeping calories down. it's not really helpful when people say "just do it". it hasn't been working; it has sometimes in the past. I keep trying.
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,397 Member
    I skimmed over posts from 28th and 29th (6 pages) and then had to skip over the next 11 pages from July 29-30, or else i will spend the entire day just reading and commenting on 15 + pages in 3 days!
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,397 Member
    @kymarai ok saws you must have a DIY or hardware store, got it!