Stop blaming husbands, wives, SO's, friends, etc.!!!
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:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:0
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Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.
yes! until others have been in your shoes they have NO IDEA what it's like.:grumble:
But that being said, I've finally "put my foot down" about it. I will no longer destroy my body and my health because my saboteur hubby has insecurity issues. :ohwell: And though he can be a little "dense" at times he is starting to get the message!
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This post is too logical and makes too much sense!
Excellent! :drinker:0 -
I'd like to be friends with everyone that agreed with this post; as a matter of fact I think I'm going to send friend requests to those that, like me, keep it real & don't kid themselves through making excuses & blaming others. This post was right on time and I can dig it! :bigsmile:0
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Agreed. My boyfriend eats all kinds of crap. Sometimes I eat it, sometimes I don't. It's my choice.And I thought I was the only one still using a flip phone.
I love my flip phone. :happy:0 -
Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.
yes! until others have been in your shoes they have NO IDEA what it's like.:grumble:
But that being said, I've finally "put my foot down" about it. I will no longer destroy my body and my health because my saboteur hubby has insecurity issues. :ohwell: And though he can be a little "dense" at times he is starting to get the message!
I really like the OP in this thread but this post is 100% true for me too.
Dieting is one of the hardest things a person can do and dieting while living with an active sabatour is fu@king horrible torture and is absolutely maddening.
It is gaslighting to tell people that this doesn't really happen to anyone, that it's our imaginations and that maybe it would stop if we had a 'talk' to the offending party.
Pffttt.0 -
Meh... fell into troll mode. Deleted.0
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Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.
yes! until others have been in your shoes they have NO IDEA what it's like.:grumble:
But that being said, I've finally "put my foot down" about it. I will no longer destroy my body and my health because my saboteur hubby has insecurity issues. :ohwell: And though he can be a little "dense" at times he is starting to get the message!
I really like the OP in this thread but this post is 100% true for me too.
Dieting is one of the hardest things a person can do and dieting while living with an active sabatour is fu@king horrible torture and is absolutely maddening.
It is gaslighting to tell people that this doesn't really happen to anyone, that it's our imaginations and that maybe it would stop if we had a 'talk' to the offending party.
Pffttt.
Temptation is everywhere. Unless your SO is tying you down and force feeding you you are not being sabotaged.
ETA: My wife has a bowl of ice cream almost every night. I can't have very much ice cream because I have bad cholesterol. She always asks me if I want some, but instead I usually just have a smoothie or a piece of fruit. SCHWING I'M BEING SABOTAGED BUT I STILL MEET CALORIE AND MACRO GOALS OMGGGG SELF CONTROL.0 -
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Temptation is everywhere. Unless your SO is tying you down and force feeding you you are not being sabotaged.
ETA: My wife has a bowl of ice cream almost every night. I can't have very much ice cream because I have bad cholesterol. She always asks me if I want some, but instead I usually just have a smoothie or a piece of fruit. SCHWING I'M BEING SABOTAGED BUT I STILL MEET CALORIE AND MACRO GOALS OMGGGG SELF CONTROL.
[quote/]
^^ Excactly!
I started MFP last year a month before Halloween. Was I supposed to tell my 3 & 5 year old that they couldn't go trick or treating because mommy can't control herself around chocolate and would eat all theirs? Having that around was an amazing learning experience for exercising my self control (this is coming from a former binge eater).0 -
Okay, I'll tell my husband that he should sit down next to me to eat an entire package of pepperoni, bag of chips etc etc etc and hold it out to offer me some every few minutes more often. I mean, someone on MFP said that it's okay for him to do it so I shouldn't get annoyed when he does. Good to know.
No, I don't take the food but there's not supportive and there's attempted sabotage. What's true in your world is not true in everyone's.
yes! until others have been in your shoes they have NO IDEA what it's like.:grumble:
But that being said, I've finally "put my foot down" about it. I will no longer destroy my body and my health because my saboteur hubby has insecurity issues. :ohwell: And though he can be a little "dense" at times he is starting to get the message!
I really like the OP in this thread but this post is 100% true for me too.
Dieting is one of the hardest things a person can do and dieting while living with an active sabatour is fu@king horrible torture and is absolutely maddening.
It is gaslighting to tell people that this doesn't really happen to anyone, that it's our imaginations and that maybe it would stop if we had a 'talk' to the offending party.
Pffttt.
Temptation is everywhere. Unless your SO is tying you down and force feeding you you are not being sabotaged.
ETA: My wife has a bowl of ice cream almost every night. I can't have very much ice cream because I have bad cholesterol. She always asks me if I want some, but instead I usually just have a smoothie or a piece of fruit. SCHWING I'M BEING SABOTAGED BUT I STILL MEET CALORIE AND MACRO GOALS OMGGGG SELF CONTROL.
This!!
Three days after I started counting my calories, my husband went to Del Taco after dinner (he's 6'4" and can eat just about anything,the *kitten*). I LOVE Del Taco. Especially their chili cheese fries. When he arrived home with the bag, I could smell it. I KNEW the bag contained chili cheese fries. I had about 150 cals left so I asked him if I could have one fry. It was delicious. And i didn't explode into binge mode. He eats what he wants but he also tells me how proud of me he is.
It's not fair to him to shove my personal responsibility on him because he doesn't need to restrict his calories as severely.0 -
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I guess I am really fortunate.
My husband has always been supportive of anything that I do.
When I started this weight journey, Larry ( my husband) was right beside me, even though he does not need to lose weight.
He is 5'11 and weighs 168 pounds.
But he would sit beside me and help me with my diary to give me ideas.
I never had to cook separate meals.
He would eat what I ate, or if he wanted something different, he would cook his own.
He would have ice cream, but guess what, it never bothered me.
I have never given up my sweets, I just do strict portion control.
I log every morsel that goes into my mouth.
I have lost 22 pounds and now on Maintenance.
My husband will be right beside me helping me along.
He also compliments me on my weight and calls me Skinny.
Love that name.0 -
Personally, I suffer from unwanted support. I like to call 'em "backseat dieters." Sometimes, the people closest to you will uphold a pretense of support. Sure, they say they are supportive. But we all know that simply saying "I'm supporting you" is, in reality, no form of support. They don't ask about your plans, goals, progress, struggles, or victories (nor should you expect them too). In fact, in their eyes, you may as well not be dieting (which shouldn't bother you). But when they see you eating a dessert (like cake
) that they think you shouldn't be eating; they question, nag, or guilt you and may even take your food away. They won't listen as you explain you've cut/burned hard for this today, so would they kindly BACK UP OFF MAH CAKE!!! :explode:
I'll sign up for plain "unsupportive" or "no support" any day :flowerforyou:
Tried of people trying to take responsibility from me, so I wholeheartedly agree with the OP. Great post.
I understand where you are coming from with this post. However, the "no support" can be a lonely place to be. When I want to "celebrate" a PR when I run, or a few pounds lost, it's met with a lukewarm "good" then back to the television show, like I didn't even register. No comments about how my profile is looking a little slimmer now...nothing. Crickets.
I understand I'm a big girl. (ergh - no pun intended...) I got myself up here, so I'm responsible for getting myself down. In October I am planning on doing a 5K run, and I know I'm going it alone. I'm running it alone, training for it alone, and will have no one on the side-lines for me. This is my battle. But sometimes, a little support would be nice.0 -
Very nicely stated! I like to bake, and I really like to share what I have baked. I have had friends say that I was trying to make them fat so I would look slender by comparison. I couldn't believe anyone would think that.0
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Very nicely stated! I like to bake, and I really like to share what I have baked. I have had friends say that I was trying to make them fat so I would look slender by comparison. I couldn't believe anyone would think that.
People actually said that? My bff is an amazing baker and I love that she shares her goodies with me.0 -
Hmm. If I'm in a relationship and my partner said he has a problem he's working on, I'd be the first to ask him how I could help. If he were to say that it would be very helpful if I could stop having sweets etc. unhealthy stuff around, then I'd leave them in the store in heartbeat. Nothing is as important as supporting those I love and I could live without the junk just fine. Happiness is knowing I can help someone, who needs it.
I believe in taking responsibility for one's own actions, but I believe more in being there for those I love, and this whole "you're on your own" thing seems very strange to me. That's no healthy and balanced partnership to me, but leaving someone to fight alone.0 -
In the end, yes ppl sabotage you. Some ppl are jealous. That's life. You are the I that has to want to help you. They can't make u. I totally agree with blaming others. You have to find your own reasons and use them to keep going. No one dies it for u0
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Totally admit it is my own fault I am over weight. I ate too much junk and didn't do enough exercise.
It is nice though to have support from family and friends - I think that as somebody who has commited to sharing their life with you they should want to share your journey and make it easier for you. That is what a relationship is. I am not talking about going without - as that is the same problem reversed, but certainly moderating and not gloating. It isn't forever and it helps somebody you love.0 -
My husband does that to me too, but I truly believe he is just being polite not trying to sabotage me at all. It's just his way to share.0
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Well I didn't get knocked up by myself..0
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