Why do we as humans have a tendency to dislike fat people?

optimisticShark

Being a fat girl ever since I was in college, nobody was interested in me and couldn't find a guy for myself for which my parents decide to start looking for a life partner for me. We have this family friend whom we know since many years. My relatives asked them if they would like to move ahead and accept me as their daughter-in-law to which their son and his mom seemed to be okay, but his dad and his sister were not interested as I am a fat girl. I have been rejected by many guys because of the same reason.

Not only that, I have many times notices a change of behavior in my friends and relatives for me.

Not that am getting emotional or anything else here, but I always wonder why do people differentiate based on looks. Shouldn't a person's nature hold more importance over his/her looks.

Peachy1962

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!! My ex husband was thin and looked down on me when I put on so much weight! and let me tell ya he was NO prize as far as looks go but I didnt love him for his looks!!
One ay in line at the grocery store he told me that he wished he was with one of these smaller woman that was standing around waiting in line and then asks me why I cant look more like them!! Grrrr

I was always the chubby girl from the age of 10 but my personality won over my boyfriends and my first husband!! He never l;et my weight bother him one bit but things didnt work out for us and then the second marriage was a real blow to my ego and I went feeling as ann outsider in my own home for about 5 years until my son was 18 and I asked for a divorce! NOW I am on a journey to lose the weight for myself and my health and to get my hip fixed and live an active life from here on out and IF there comes a day when I find another man to fall in love with then he will except Me for Me or NOT at all!!


I wish you all the best things that this life has to offer and I wish for you to fin True love with a man that will really know how great you are inside and out!!! :flowerforyou:

trackmyday1973

because the "fat" are seen as lazy, useless, unattractive, smelly..... all these negative things.....that's how closed-minded people are... I have seen many slim people that fit these discriptions.....

healthyKYgirl

It's a cultural thing, and not a "human" thing. In previous times, chubbiness was prized. It represented wealth and fertility and the ability to endure during famine. In today's world, it is more extreme, and there is a cultural bias against people with more fat. But it is a culture thing, and not a human thing.

However, it sounds like you have some self-worth issues to look at. It's how you feel about yourself that matters,and just from your post I get the impression you undervalue yourself. Those feelings you have about yourself may be sending out signals to others that you don't value yourself and therefore, they don't find value in you, either. Change your attitude about yourself. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

corgicake

It's a tendency specific to some modern cultures, not of humanity as a whole. For most of history and prehistory we've been depicting "ideal" women as plump and round-bellied.

PikaKnight

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

Yes, because women aren't shallow At. All. Especially men? Really? Why don't we just group everyone of the same gender, pretend they are all the same and blame them for our own flaws. It's not us. It's them.

Seems legit.

itsscottwilder

I'll say this, when I look in the mirror at my excess weight; I see a guy who uses food to cope with other issues.

I transfer that thinking to other people. The heavier the person is; the more I think they use food as a coping mechanism for something else. The heavier the person, the bigger the issues.

I'm not proud of this, but it is an honest assessment of "Why do I have a tendency to dislike fat people"

kdeaux1959

Where to start.

First of all single is ok. You are not less of a person because you are not yet married. This is not to say that you have to stay that way.. Just that it is ok to be single and happy where you are. I was 32 before I actually started dating. A year and a half later, we exchanged vows. We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. There were folks that tried to "hook me up"; those relationships never managed to pan out... Then when I found MY someone, the pieces fell into place...

The next thing is that you really have to see yourself for who you really are. You are a person of value. If you don't accept this about yourself there is no way that anybody else is going to perceive that about you. You have to respect yourself... You have to accept yourself for who you are... a person of value... a person who has something to offer.

Many times we assign our problems as being caused by excess weight when really they are problems associated with self-image. If you cannot see yourself as a person of value with something to offer, you cannot project that image to others... The weight can contribute to this but really, I suspect that if the weight were gone, you would still struggle with seeing yourself as you are and hence projecting that image out to others.

I say these things not with hurtful intent.... to the contrary. You know, being obese or overweight is most often the FRUIT of the problem, not the seed. Find the seed and root it out and the fruit will stop thriving. Begin to see yourself as a person of worth and value and many of the other issues will begin to subside.

May you have every success in all you wish to accomplish.

alisonlynn1976

I think there are very few people in the world who don't care about looks in a partner at all. Most people care about a combination of looks and personality instead of all one or the other. Plus, it makes sense in an evolutionary context to value traits that are associated with conventional attractiveness, because features associated with that predict healthier offspring.

As far as the title question, I think fat people are discriminated against because people are afraid of getting fat themselves and because of the negative personality traits associated with fatness (whether fairly or unfairly).

Don't settle for an arranged marriage with anyone who will have you. You deserve a better life than that.

fineshrine

http://youtu.be/YhkNfGa5loE

"In the industrialized world, where the body beautiful is a thin one, we ask why so many are now overweight... and why is fatness seen as taboo?"

some cultures do glorify fatness you know?

Achrya

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

Yes, because women aren't shallow At. All. Especially men? Really? Why don't we just group everyone of the same gender, pretend they are all the same and blame them for our own flaws. It's not us. It's them.

Seems legit.

This amuses me because I know more women than men who would dismiss men based on certain...physical attributes, with weight being one of the more common factors. There seems to be this stereotype of women where we'll 'settle' physically and date below our league but I don't know many chicks who actually do that.

Poods71

It's a cultural thing, and not a "human" thing. In previous times, chubbiness was prized. It represented wealth and fertility and the ability to endure during famine. In today's world, it is more extreme, and there is a cultural bias against people with more fat. But it is a culture thing, and not a human thing.

However, it sounds like you have some self-worth issues to look at. It's how you feel about yourself that matters,and just from your post I get the impression you undervalue yourself. Those feelings you have about yourself may be sending out signals to others that you don't value yourself and therefore, they don't find value in you, either. Change your attitude about yourself. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

This is exactly what I was going to say but this poster got there first lol. We are taught by our culture what is acceptable and what isn't we are constantly bombarted by skinny so believe that is how we should look.

Petegriff67

Wow that's a pretty tough story but sadly very true as society can be extremely shallow and yet, if you were given the time of day by people, I am sure you would be a true friend for life.

The truth is, you should not have to change who you are for people to like you. You should learn to love who you are and not care what others think. If they don't like you because you are fat, they don't deserve your friendship.

That aside, being overweight does have its problems, I have spent most of my life overweight, not obese but enough to feel uncomfortable. I have led an active life playing football and rugby but the weight started to pile on even more so following an injury so, 3 months ago at the age of 46, I decided it was time for me to take control.

When I started my helthy living regime 3 months I weighed 236lbs, this morning I stepped on the scales and cam in at 194lbs, I have not weighed under 200lbs since I was 16, that was 30 years ago and I feel fabulous for it.

Don't worry what other people think about you but remember this: You'll never change society but, with a little commitment and perseverance you can change how you feel about yourself, look up at yourself not down and, if you feel that you are overweight, think positively about making changes, dsince losing the weight I FEEL FANTASTIC and those freinds have always stuck by me are so proud of me, those who were rude and wouldn't give me the time of day, well they can jolly well bugger off!!!

Good luck xXx

neandermagnon

speaking from an anthropology perspective..... it's not a human thing, it's a cultural thing, i.e. something you learn from the people around you, not something you're born with. There are cultures where fat is seen as desirable, usually because it means that you get more than enough to eat, i.e. you're rich. Kind of how owning a brand new expensive car is seen in this culture.

ETA: I see someone already beat me to it lol

shelllord

Hi, do you want to lose weight? If so you need to do it for yourself not other people

MORECHABLIS

It's a cultural thing, and not a "human" thing. In previous times, chubbiness was prized. It represented wealth and fertility and the ability to endure during famine. In today's world, it is more extreme, and there is a cultural bias against people with more fat. But it is a culture thing, and not a human thing.

However, it sounds like you have some self-worth issues to look at. It's how you feel about yourself that matters,and just from your post I get the impression you undervalue yourself. Those feelings you have about yourself may be sending out signals to others that you don't value yourself and therefore, they don't find value in you, either. Change your attitude about yourself. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Yes, very much a cultural thing the hatred of fat, but there is fat/cubby and very obese ... Just as having a 'sun tan' used to be seen as a terrible thing to have until the 1930's, as it showed you worked in the fields and were not of a high social class.

VeganCoco13

We don't, it's entirely cultural. Fat people used to be regarded as more beautiful until society and culture decided to change our minds.

Or as Dawn French put it:

'If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush.'

BonnieandClyde29

To be honest I am not a skinny girl, but my roommate was morbidly obese, didn't shower, smelled, and was ridiculously lazy. I am not saying all obese or big people are like that but we would discuss this all the time, and I would tell him no matter what there has to be SOME TYPE OF ATTRACTION there, because no one is going to just walk up to some stranger person they don't know and say oh my god I love your personality or your personality looks beautiful!!! Sounds shallow I know, but I am realistic.

I almost didn't date my husband, it took me a while first because I thought he was cute, but I didn't want to jump his bones right then and there, so I talked to him for a while first, then decided to date him, give him a chance, and BAM we are married. No matter what, when people say don't judge we do, because that INITIAL ATTRACTION has to be there.. When you have known someone for a long period of time then that is different and you learn to love different things about them.

I am not my husbands type at all, he doesn't like skinny girls but he's dated smaller than me and also thought i was "cute", but he always says, "the body can always change, but the heart is what matters because it still stays the same", and that is why we got married.

BonnieandClyde29

Also you should watch the movie "Phat Girlz" with Mo'Nique, great movie and it even tells you or shows you in some places and countries bigger women are more beautiful because it shows of wealth and healthiness such as some parts of Africa and even India

UnpredictablyPretty21

In my own opinion I don't think that people dislike people because there fat, I think that people who are larger tend to isolate themselves from average sized people.

Most of my friends have been significantly larger then me and I loved them for who they were, because they had beautiful personalities and were genuine (not because of their size). I would also encourage them to come and exercise with me and make the most of our outings by being a little more active. which they always declined...

Today, most of them don't want to be around me, because I chose to be healthy and active which ultimately lead to weight loss.... which inturn jealousy raised its head and they disregarded the friendship.

So my next question is, why do fat people dislike skinny people? and why is it ok for a fat person to be nasty to a skinny person? these are controversial questions but in reality we are all people who have real emotions be it fat, skinny or average... My opinion maybe wrong and that's fine.... But I believe peoples true beauty radiates from the inside out... regardless of body size and shape.

Mguilmot

I guess I'm not human. If "we humans" dislike fat people I really don't want to be associated with that "human" race. I dislike or hate people for who they are and how they act, not what they look like.