Why do we as humans have a tendency to dislike fat people?
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You said it. "Most humans". I don't. I was brought up with don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. I live by that. I don't like people who have an oppinion about me without at least talking 10 minutes to me. I take time to get to know people. You know, without a computer and a smartphone. If I don't like you, I have a personal reason to. Not how you look or are dressed that day. Now you can dislike me, for having this oppinion lol :-)
No, I won't dislike you for that, I already dislike you from your profile pic :laugh: No, not really. And I'm sorry to generalise but I believe it is a human trait, failing if you like, to sum up people very quickly when you meet them. You may be the exception that proves the rule but that makes you a saint in my opinion. Most people, and I'm one of them, also try to live by your tenets, but most have the humility to realise they fail sometimes, and I'm also one of them.0 -
I'm a bit confused by the situation here.. My relatives asked them if they would like to move ahead and accept me as their daughter-in-law to which their son and his mom seemed to be okay, but his dad and his sister were not interested as I am a fat girl.
What has it got to do with anyone else but you and him?
Traditionally the son would ask the bride-to-be's father, sure; but even that doesn't happen much these days and could still be considered a bit insulting to the gal.
Why should it be?It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!!
Why should I deny what I'm attracted to?
Further; if this was the case, surely everyone SHOULD be bisexual? As it's only what's on the inisde!
Personally, however well I've got on with blokes, I've never had the desire to jump in to bed with them and don't feel an need to change that.
What if you find out they formed of opinion of you, so you dislike them, before you've talked to them for 10 minutes?I don't like people who have an oppinion about me without at least talking 10 minutes to me. I take time to get to know people.
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Fast and unhealthy food manufacturers prefer to blame the individual for not showing restraint and not moving more.
Also some Drs seem to have fallen into this belief,
I was told I would have to lose 42lb to prove my commitment to weight loss before I could have bypass surgery, if I could do that I wouldn't need bypass surgery! Anyway I didn't want bypass surgery what I went in to ask about was liposuction so that I would be comfortable enough to move and exercise therefore helping me to lose weight and more importantly get fitter.
Sorry went a bit off topic there I needed a rant
I've had that inn a minor way myself. A few years ago my doctor commented on my obesity and said I had to lose weight for my health. I asked if I could take the weight loss pills that were then available to stop you digesting fat and was told I had to lose weight first, she took my weight and said if I lost over a Kg in the following month, she would prescribe the pills. Now I understand this approach, but could I lose weight? No I couldn't so I continued to get heavier and heavier. It's a pity someone didn't sit me down and explain how I could lose weight and support me in that in the way that MFP and MFP friends have now done to the extent where I don't need either pills or surgery.0 -
It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!
Women are far more cynical of appearance.
I think it's perfectly normal for humans to want their SOs to look good naked. That shouldn't shock or dismay anyone, and women are as eager for a good looking SO as any man.
If you are unhappy about your appearance, then change it. Your size is not fixed.
Do what is necessary for you to feel good about yourself. Set goals and achieve them.0 -
some cultures have high respect for "Obese" people because it shows they have power, they can collect resources and eat "Luxury" goods and shows how easily they can survive. Now days media sources such as movies, musicians ect. tend to be skinny or petite and that has become a norm. However, just because you are fat does not that you are not beautiful. If you look at 50's pinup girls they were what we now call "Chubby"... its all relative, you are beautiful the way you are, if people disagree then you obviously don't need to seek approval from them0
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It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!
As a man, I believe that women are more shallow. I say that because I have noticed, as an opposite gender, that women go for outside looks.
Obviously, neither one of us are wrong, we just have different perspectives. The key thing is that we like what we like. And we cannot always like somebody solely on the inside.
My suggestion for you since you're so bitter towards men would be to stop blaming men and start eating right and working out.0 -
People seem to think that if you are over weight it makes you less of a good person because you don't take care of yourself. If you are doing something to change it then the only one with the problem is the one who sees you that way. Not everybody is like that though it really depends on the person. Usually you are judged by first appearances... but I went to school with a fat guy that could get girls way out of his league because he could make them laugh.0
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we do?? I was not aware
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I don't dislike a person due to their weight but I have a desire to live a healthy lifestyle and would prefer to be with a person who feels the same way.0
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I tried to hide a lot of unhappiness in my extra weight. When I had the pain of the extra weight start to stop me from doing what I loved best, I lost the weight and along the way started dealing with my unhappiness. When I am unhappy with my self, in general, wasn't giving anyone any reason to like me. Thankfully there are a lot of kind people in this world.
Do I dislike fat people? No. Do I want to be around constant complainers? No. Does anyone's body fat % determine their happiness? No.
It's not a matter of like or dislike to me based on anyone's appearance. it's about people's disposition and if they are pleasant to be around by their words and deeds.0 -
Those of you who are complaining that [entire gender] is too shallow: Would you really want to be with someone who doesn't find you attractive but settled for you out of pity or obligation? Why don't you think that you deserve a partner who thinks you're gorgeous?0
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Lets play a New game as it seems this ridiculous premise has been dismissed for what it is...Do people hate fat people or A-Rod more?0
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U really made me sad! I thought arranged marriages are a thing of the past! You did the first step, coming to MFP, I'm sure you'll find a good bunch of friends to give you moral support. 2. You need to take the reigns of your life in your own hands and not allow others to make decisions for you. I think marriage just as life partners wouldn't accentuate your unhappiness. 3. You need to make the right choices for your health and body! Start with baby steps, it ain't easy! 4. Give a kick in the a** to those who treat you bad because of your weight, you don't need them. People come in different shapes and sizes but it's all about the inside, about being human, caring, considerate and supportive! Be strong!
Good luck and keep something in mind: you're worth more than that! Big hugs!0 -
It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!
Yes, because women aren't shallow At. All. Especially men? Really? Why don't we just group everyone of the same gender, pretend they are all the same and blame them for our own flaws. It's not us. It's them.
Seems legit.
I will go ahead and go with this...
For me it is about ALL three phases of someone..mind/body/soul....trust me I have met a lot of hot girls who are complete morons and that is a total turn off....but you do need initial attractiveness to have that initial spark...IMO
I am just going to throw this out there and catch some flack for it ..but if someone is athletic why should they date someone who is obese and obviously does not follow a similar lifestyle../????0 -
It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!
Yes, because women aren't shallow At. All. Especially men? Really? Why don't we just group everyone of the same gender, pretend they are all the same and blame them for our own flaws. It's not us. It's them.
Seems legit.
I will go ahead and go with this...
For me it is about ALL three phases of someone..mind/body/soul....trust me I have met a lot of hot girls who are complete morons and that is a total turn off....but you do need initial attractiveness to have that initial spark...IMO
I am just going to throw this out there and catch some flack for it ..but if someone is athletic why should they date someone who is obese and obviously does not follow a similar lifestyle../????
Because fat girls need love too
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I hate A-Rod ...but I am from Boston ..LOLLets play a New game as it seems this ridiculous premise has been dismissed for what it is...Do people hate fat people or A-Rod more?0 -
oh and I saw the arranged marriage thing..Really???? That is like so 16th century ..me thinks this is troll thread....0
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Soceity has painted a picture that thin women are basically perfect, but that isn't true because NO ONE is perfect. Everyone is different which makes it more exciting. My advice is that as humans we all sin. We all get jealous (envious), mad, sad, happy. You can't make everyone like you, but some people will like you and those are the good ones. Why would you want someone to like you if they just judge you right on sight? That's not a good friend to have. Just focus on you and don't worry too much about other people. THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOT THEIRS.
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oh and I saw the arranged marriage thing..Really???? That is like so 16th century ..me thinks this is troll thread....
arranged marriage is 16th century? Damn. I didn't knew that more than 2/3rd of the world population was so old!0 -
oh and I saw the arranged marriage thing..Really???? That is like so 16th century ..me thinks this is troll thread....
Arranged marriages still take place today.0 -
I think 2pac said it best! "Thats just the way it is"
i was a fat teen no one liked me then lost some weight got some curves and i had many to pick from, isnt this how its been for some time now. Nothing new.0 -
I think its because a large proportion blame things other than themselves for being obese.
We all know deep down, ME INCLUDED that the only reason people get fat is by eating more than they should and moving less than they should, so ultimately its down to 1) Greed and 2) Laziness..... Anybody can made healthy food taste amazing - the internet is overflowing with cheap, quick and healthy meals.... its also teaming with hundreds of workouts that can be as short as 10-20 mins (which anybody can free up in a day)....
I think this is what puts overweight people into a stereotyped disliked group.
Im overweight myself - and I used to make all the excuses for it.... but ultimately its all down to point 1) and 2).0 -
I think there are very few people in the world who don't care about looks in a partner at all. Most people care about a combination of looks and personality instead of all one or the other. Plus, it makes sense in an evolutionary context to value traits that are associated with conventional attractiveness, because features associated with that predict healthier offspring.
As far as the title question, I think fat people are discriminated against because people are afraid of getting fat themselves and because of the negative personality traits associated with fatness (whether fairly or unfairly).
I totally agree with this.0 -
I think 2pac said it best! "Thats just the way it is"
i was a fat teen no one liked me then lost some weight got some curves and i had many to pick from, isnt this how its been for some time now. Nothing new.
Yup...And this goes both ways...Go Heat!0 -
It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!! My ex husband was thin and looked down on me when I put on so much weight! and let me tell ya he was NO prize as far as looks go but I didnt love him for his looks!!
One ay in line at the grocery store he told me that he wished he was with one of these smaller woman that was standing around waiting in line and then asks me why I cant look more like them!! Grrrr
I was always the chubby girl from the age of 10 but my personality won over my boyfriends and my first husband!! He never l;et my weight bother him one bit but things didnt work out for us and then the second marriage was a real blow to my ego and I went feeling as ann outsider in my own home for about 5 years until my son was 18 and I asked for a divorce! NOW I am on a journey to lose the weight for myself and my health and to get my hip fixed and live an active life from here on out and IF there comes a day when I find another man to fall in love with then he will except Me for Me or NOT at all!!
I wish you all the best things that this life has to offer and I wish for you to fin True love with a man that will really know how great you are inside and out!!! :flowerforyou:
Especially with men!!? Not true0 -
I am sure there were guys interested in you. Maybe you weren't interested in the type of guys you were attracting?0
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I would not put this a statement of "we" because there are definitely people out there who are attracted to larger women. When I met my husband I weighed a good 100lbs more than he did and since I have lost this weight I asked him if it made a difference or if he was attracted to me less being thinner now and he said it did not matter either way. He was one of the "chubby chasers" along with quite a few other guys I have known over the years.(some friends and male co-workers) I guess it really depends on a person's preferences.
That being said, I do think that there is a focus in the media that thin is more attractive than being fat and that obese people are looked at as being lazy or unmotivated. Honestly, I was lazy and ate too much to deal with my emotions and I was fat....which led me to think very low of my self and have very little confidence. I think that once you lose the weight and gain more self esteem by feeling more confident and sexy that it gives off a vibe that makes you attractive. Some women have that vibe no matter what size, I was not one of them. You no longer try to just blend in, but you stand out.
You will get there and just KNOW that you can do this and don't settle for less than you deserve.....because you deserve someone who loves you no matter what and for the right reasons.0 -
Not humans. It's certain cultures. In some places, fat still means wealthy and healthy.0
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Because people don't understand that being fat is about disease, addiction and a lack of education. They believe that if you're fat you're lazy and stupid when in actual fact it's more likely you are ill, have an addiction or are uneducated when it comes to nutrition.0
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