Why do we as humans have a tendency to dislike fat people?

ron2e

Strangely I had a forum exchange with someone the other day on this very subject. When I said I was not ready to go swimming yet because I was self conscious about being fat and said when I used to be thin I was guilty of having negative feelings to fat people, I was told I had to be less judgemental or I was an *kitten*. There is no doubt that the general public, however they may pay lip service to it, actually are negative towards fat people. They see it as the person's own fault, that they have no self control, etc, etc, and do not seem to realise it is in a sense an illness or addiction. I have seen the same attitude to alcoholics and smokers. What I find concerning is all the current 'witch hunt' mentality around the 'obesity epidemic'. There have even been suggestions that fat people should be refused medical treatment until they lose weight.

There is another reason for this cultural view of fat people. In the 50s, 60s and 70s, certainly in the UK, fat people were few and far between, perhaps as a result of rationing and shortages during and after WWII. Consequently they were much more of an oddity and I think the current feeling a lot of people have stems from there and from their parents and grandparents.

There was a study done very recently where the conclusion was that children were not moving enough, that was why there was so much obesity and we should be making them do more exercise, etc. Seems straightforward, but the correct interpretation was children naturally moved as much as they had ever done, but their diet made them obese and it was the obesity that limited their movement. Very different. It is their diet we have to address, but the Fast and unhealthy food manufacturers prefer to blame the individual for not showing restraint and not moving more.

ron2e

I guess I'm not human. If "we humans" dislike fat people I really don't want to be associated with that "human" race. I dislike or hate people for who they are and how they act, not what they look like.

Definitely not human. Most humans decide whether they like or dislike someone in the first seconds after meeting them, first impressions do matter and that is why people jump to conclusions about fat people. This is no secret, people discriminate positively in favour of tall men or pretty women for example. Yes you can change your mind about someone but that is difficult.

I'm sure you believe what you say, but if you are human it is more how you would like to be than how you actually are.

mrsgrimsdale

Obesity is not a modern phenomenon only the despising of fat is.
Some people assume fat people chose to get fat that they are lazy and greedy having more than their fair share of 'the tribes' food and doing less of the chores. This annoys them they see it as selfish and anti social, they want us to conform to their ideals.
This doesn't just apply to Fat its an instinctive need to belong to a group and if a person is distinctly different in any way they don't belong. Only a few with real self confidence, self worth and charisma can 'belong' when they don't conform.

usernameMAMA

I don't dislike fat people.

mrdexter1

simply put,
they usually dislike being fat, have low self esteem and dont want to do the social things thin people do and can be a real negative influence on family and friends.

There s a phrase " if you go in the zoo you become one of the animals "

so why would any positive self respectful person view the likes of the above in anything but a negative manner and not have negative thoughts ???

mrsgrimsdale

Fast and unhealthy food manufacturers prefer to blame the individual for not showing restraint and not moving more.

Also some Drs seem to have fallen into this belief,
I was told I would have to lose 42lb to prove my commitment to weight loss before I could have bypass surgery, if I could do that I wouldn't need bypass surgery! Anyway I didn't want bypass surgery what I went in to ask about was liposuction so that I would be comfortable enough to move and exercise therefore helping me to lose weight and more importantly get fitter.

Sorry went a bit off topic there I needed a rant

Mguilmot

I guess I'm not human. If "we humans" dislike fat people I really don't want to be associated with that "human" race. I dislike or hate people for who they are and how they act, not what they look like.

Definitely not human. Most humans decide whether they like or dislike someone in the first seconds after meeting them, first impressions do matter and that is why people jump to conclusions about fat people. This is no secret, people discriminate positively in favour of tall men or pretty women for example. Yes you can change your mind about someone but that is difficult.

I'm sure you believe what you say, but if you are human it is more how you would like to be than how you actually are.

You said it. "Most humans". I don't. I was brought up with don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. I live by that. I don't like people who have an oppinion about me without at least talking 10 minutes to me. I take time to get to know people. You know, without a computer and a smartphone. If I don't like you, I have a personal reason to. Not how you look or are dressed that day. Now you can dislike me, for having this oppinion lol :-)

richx83

This is something I have been thinking about recently myself, having come from morbidly obese myself (350llbs) I feel like I am now on the other side of the fence. I have noticed a lot more larger people around now whereas previously they would have been smaller than me regardless I do not want to associate with them directly as to me it is a reminder of what I was.

Just as a smoker trying to quit would not spend time with smokers and an alcoholic wouldn't be sitting in a pub I do not want to spend time with the sort of person I used to be. That said however there is a girl at the gym that it probably around 350llbs now who I would be happy to spend time with because she has the mind set of change now.

Mostly though I don't want to go back to what I was.

mperrott2205

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

This is by far the most moronic thing I've read on these forums since "lifting weights will make me bulky".

Women are far more cynical of appearance.

KANGOOJUMPS

its the sloppy look

ron2e

You said it. "Most humans". I don't. I was brought up with don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you. I live by that. I don't like people who have an oppinion about me without at least talking 10 minutes to me. I take time to get to know people. You know, without a computer and a smartphone. If I don't like you, I have a personal reason to. Not how you look or are dressed that day. Now you can dislike me, for having this oppinion lol :-)

No, I won't dislike you for that, I already dislike you from your profile pic :laugh: No, not really. And I'm sorry to generalise but I believe it is a human trait, failing if you like, to sum up people very quickly when you meet them. You may be the exception that proves the rule but that makes you a saint in my opinion. Most people, and I'm one of them, also try to live by your tenets, but most have the humility to realise they fail sometimes, and I'm also one of them.

geebusuk

. My relatives asked them if they would like to move ahead and accept me as their daughter-in-law to which their son and his mom seemed to be okay, but his dad and his sister were not interested as I am a fat girl.

I'm a bit confused by the situation here.
What has it got to do with anyone else but you and him?

Traditionally the son would ask the bride-to-be's father, sure; but even that doesn't happen much these days and could still be considered a bit insulting to the gal.

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!!

Why should it be?
Why should I deny what I'm attracted to?
Further; if this was the case, surely everyone SHOULD be bisexual? As it's only what's on the inisde!
Personally, however well I've got on with blokes, I've never had the desire to jump in to bed with them and don't feel an need to change that.

I don't like people who have an oppinion about me without at least talking 10 minutes to me. I take time to get to know people.

What if you find out they formed of opinion of you, so you dislike them, before you've talked to them for 10 minutes?

ron2e

Fast and unhealthy food manufacturers prefer to blame the individual for not showing restraint and not moving more.

Also some Drs seem to have fallen into this belief,
I was told I would have to lose 42lb to prove my commitment to weight loss before I could have bypass surgery, if I could do that I wouldn't need bypass surgery! Anyway I didn't want bypass surgery what I went in to ask about was liposuction so that I would be comfortable enough to move and exercise therefore helping me to lose weight and more importantly get fitter.

Sorry went a bit off topic there I needed a rant

I've had that inn a minor way myself. A few years ago my doctor commented on my obesity and said I had to lose weight for my health. I asked if I could take the weight loss pills that were then available to stop you digesting fat and was told I had to lose weight first, she took my weight and said if I lost over a Kg in the following month, she would prescribe the pills. Now I understand this approach, but could I lose weight? No I couldn't so I continued to get heavier and heavier. It's a pity someone didn't sit me down and explain how I could lose weight and support me in that in the way that MFP and MFP friends have now done to the extent where I don't need either pills or surgery.

BeachIron

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

Women are far more cynical of appearance.

I think it's perfectly normal for humans to want their SOs to look good naked. That shouldn't shock or dismay anyone, and women are as eager for a good looking SO as any man.

If you are unhappy about your appearance, then change it. Your size is not fixed.

Do what is necessary for you to feel good about yourself. Set goals and achieve them.

Eastern_Echo23

some cultures have high respect for "Obese" people because it shows they have power, they can collect resources and eat "Luxury" goods and shows how easily they can survive. Now days media sources such as movies, musicians ect. tend to be skinny or petite and that has become a norm. However, just because you are fat does not that you are not beautiful. If you look at 50's pinup girls they were what we now call "Chubby"... its all relative, you are beautiful the way you are, if people disagree then you obviously don't need to seek approval from them

taunto

It should be all about what is on the inside BUT that is NOT the way it is!! Especially with men!!

As a man, I believe that women are more shallow. I say that because I have noticed, as an opposite gender, that women go for outside looks.

Obviously, neither one of us are wrong, we just have different perspectives. The key thing is that we like what we like. And we cannot always like somebody solely on the inside.

My suggestion for you since you're so bitter towards men would be to stop blaming men and start eating right and working out.

Jackson_Rhoads

People seem to think that if you are over weight it makes you less of a good person because you don't take care of yourself. If you are doing something to change it then the only one with the problem is the one who sees you that way. Not everybody is like that though it really depends on the person. Usually you are judged by first appearances... but I went to school with a fat guy that could get girls way out of his league because he could make them laugh.

slim_photographer

we do?? I was not aware

Topsking2010

I don't dislike a person due to their weight but I have a desire to live a healthy lifestyle and would prefer to be with a person who feels the same way.

pkw58

I tried to hide a lot of unhappiness in my extra weight. When I had the pain of the extra weight start to stop me from doing what I loved best, I lost the weight and along the way started dealing with my unhappiness. When I am unhappy with my self, in general, wasn't giving anyone any reason to like me. Thankfully there are a lot of kind people in this world.

Do I dislike fat people? No. Do I want to be around constant complainers? No. Does anyone's body fat % determine their happiness? No.

It's not a matter of like or dislike to me based on anyone's appearance. it's about people's disposition and if they are pleasant to be around by their words and deeds.