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Great bodies and attractiveness or Money and success catch our eye?

ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,288 Member Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,288 Member
So I had this discussion with a friend on FB messenger about why someone may catch your eye. I stated it was due to human instinct and that a fit body and attractiveness does because instinctively having a mate that looks healthy and is good looking enough to attract, gives higher percentage of having offspring that can do the same and carry the genes on down the line.
He stated that it may have been that way, but today it's more about status (money and success) than what I stated. He said someone could be butt ugly, but if they are rich, they can get surgery to fix that and same with the body.
Had a good point, but NOT everyone gets to hook up with a rich person and that the average person still sticks to what I stated above.

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edited February 2
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Replies

  • mariamsmb1mariamsmb1 Member Posts: 19 Member Member Posts: 19 Member
    I’m attracted to looks, intelligence, and personality.

    I couldnt care less about money.

    I think most men value looks above all else.
    edited February 2
  • Theo166Theo166 Member, Premium Posts: 2,417 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,417 Member
    I agree, attractiveness is definitely what catches your eye and it's instinct. However, Success and money catch your attention, it's more cerebral and our reaction may even be negative
  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,288 Member Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,288 Member
    I think different people value different things. That is, I think most people value attractiveness, but different things can make us feel that someone is attractive/appealing.

    I think we all know at least one couple where one of them seems much more objectively attractive than the other, yet they're both really into each other. The stereotypical case of the funny guy who is able to attract more attractive mates than his appearance would indicate is a good example. For some women, personality seems to go a really long way in making someone more attractive (and I'm sure for some men too).

    And it sure doesn't seem like billionaires and powerful men lack for attractive company, although I question whether or not that is an actual physical response from these women or something more . . .pragmatic.

    I'm probably a bit biased here because I married for personality, chemistry, and attraction (my husband is a freelance artist and musician who was living with his mom when I met him :D ). I don't think power and money could make up for the pleasures of marrying for other things . . . but then if I was a person who was attracted to money and power, I'd likely be happy with the end result there too, because I'd be a different person and I'd feel attraction and chemistry when he made millions on shorting stock or assuring passage of major legislation or won an Oscar.

    I'm biased as well. To me health and attractiveness are my first attention getters. And I will usually always take the person who is concerned about health over someone more attractive or financially stable. I've really never been a material person and don't need a big house or even a house. I could easily live in a motorhome and not blink twice. But I've always believed that a healthy person always had more to offer with me than someone with great looks or money.



    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


  • ReenieHJReenieHJ Member Posts: 5,967 Member Member Posts: 5,967 Member
    A happy disposition/bright outlook, to me, makes a person much more attractive than any other physical attribute.
    And money was never a deciding factor for me unless the person was a freeloader.
    edited February 2
  • Slacker16Slacker16 Member Posts: 1,160 Member Member Posts: 1,160 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    (...) He stated that it may have been that way, but today it's more about status (money and success) than what I stated. He said someone could be butt ugly, but if they are rich, they can get surgery to fix that and same with the body. Had a good point, but NOT everyone gets to hook up with a rich person and that the average person still sticks to what I stated above.
    Technically speaking he's saying wealth -> physical attractiveness -> attraction rather than wealth -> attraction, so he agrees with you that attraction is primarily physical just that it can be influenced by wealth.

    IIRC, there is correlation between wealth and physical attractiveness. Not sure about causation. Personally, I can't say that health is what I'm attracted to in a woman but it's definitely not wealth either. Let's say vibe.
    edited February 2
  • chocolate_owlchocolate_owl Member Posts: 1,554 Member Member Posts: 1,554 Member
    In earlier centuries and in various cultures, being plump was considered attractive. It was also a sign of wealth because you could afford a plentiful amount of food, and it was somewhat indicative of health because you weren't at risk of dying from starvation. Of course, things that certainly aren't "healthy" or "natural" have also been considered attractive over human history - think foot-binding in China, the extremes corsets were taken to, risky aesthetic plastic surgery in the 19th century. These things were primarily accessible to and done by people with money. The two have very much been tied together throughout human history. Certain physical appearances can indicate wealth, and wealth can help a person attain a desirable physical appearance.

    From a first glance, I know if I find a person aesthetically pleasing, but I also acknowledge that it's deeply rooted in the media I see around me everywhere. Currently, women being fit with a bit of muscle definition is desirable, but would you have found a muscular (or Serena kind of thicc) woman as attractive back in the 90s when the Kate Moss heroin chic trend was plastering the covers of magazines? If a woman with a great body showed up in full 80s hair, makeup, and clothing, would you take as much interest as if she were styled in today's fashion? For men, more and more muscle has been on trend; today's idolized stars look nothing like the skinny long-haired rockers of the 80s or the trim, suited Rat Pack of the 60s. And this is without getting into different cultures; what's widely considered attractive in America is not the same as Argentina, Zimbabwe, or Thailand.

    Idk, I personally am attracted to people that I admire for their personality and enjoy the company of, and if there happens to be abs or a sizeable bank account involved, that's nice I guess.
  • bold_rabbitbold_rabbit Member Posts: 1,044 Member Member Posts: 1,044 Member
    I'm pretty atypical in a lot of ways.

    I'm interested in people who are:

    Kind/Caring
    Honest
    Funny/Easy going
    Responsible
    Hard working
    Hold similar views to me

    Looks are not a big criteria, although it certainly isn't a negative. Having lots of money doesn't often mesh with the above characteristics, so they would start off at a disadvantage in my eyes.
  • lemongirlbclemongirlbc Member, Premium Posts: 391 Member Member, Premium Posts: 391 Member
    I'm in the neither/both boat. Obviously initial attraction is based purely on looks, but this is attraction only - doesn't mean I want to forge a relationship with you, just that my chemicals are reacting. If I were then to speak to them and find they were completely unambitious, unintelligent and (likely to remain) unsuccessful, I would have zero interest and my attraction would fade. Alternately, if I wasn't overly interested in someone, but spoke to them and found they were successful and ambitious in a way that would suit me and the life I want to live, it would peak my interest.
    That said, while I spoke in the present tense, I have been happily married for many years to a man blessed with great looks AND a fabulous personality AND reasonable levels of success/ambition, and am excessively lucky.
  • elmusho1989elmusho1989 Member Posts: 262 Member Member Posts: 262 Member
    I'm pretty atypical in a lot of ways.

    I'm interested in people who are:

    Kind/Caring
    Honest
    Funny/Easy going
    Responsible
    Hard working
    Hold similar views to me



    I think this is how most people really feel when you get down to brass racks.
  • janejellyrolljanejellyroll Member, Premium Posts: 24,806 Member Member, Premium Posts: 24,806 Member
    I'm pretty atypical in a lot of ways.

    I'm interested in people who are:

    Kind/Caring
    Honest
    Funny/Easy going
    Responsible
    Hard working
    Hold similar views to me

    Looks are not a big criteria, although it certainly isn't a negative. Having lots of money doesn't often mesh with the above characteristics, so they would start off at a disadvantage in my eyes.

    I am not convinced this is atypical.

    Sure, most of us get our heads turned by a pretty/handsome face, but when it comes to deciding who to build a life with, many of have expectations beyond "good looking" and/or "successful."

    We're looking at how they treat us, how they treat other people, whether their goals are the same as ours, how we enjoy time together, what we think it will be like to share domestic space and financials with them, etc.

    If mating was simply a matter of finding the most beautiful and/or successful person who was willing to be with us, it would probably be a lot more straight forward.

    Assuming you could somehow access someone's internal scale of attractiveness, I'm guessing that we'd find that many of us didn't "settle down" with the most attractive person we've ever dated. Why? Well, sometimes things didn't work out with that "most attractive" person and they were the one to break it off. But I'm guessing we'd find other people who moved on because they realized that attractiveness (whether that is measured physically or through money/success) isn't enough, there have to be other qualities to truly sustain a relationship.

    edited February 3
  • Ddsb11Ddsb11 Member Posts: 529 Member Member Posts: 529 Member
    It’s not a question of whether women want this and men want that, as it’s completely unique for each individual person. I think attraction leans more towards trends and personal experiences more so than biology. It’s still an interesting topic though!

    At one point I wasn’t as intrigued by appearance as I was by attitude so I dated someone who had the room laughing. As I changed over time appearance became more important for awhile until it became boring. Later, it was someone who made life feel effortless and brought out the positive aspects of life no matter what. Some people stick to 1 type, others don’t have a type and change as they grow. I think who we choose is as diverse as our food preferences. Little MFP relevance for ya 😊
    edited February 3
  • MsCzarMsCzar Member Posts: 238 Member Member Posts: 238 Member
    To me, it's a matter of degrees. Healthy is attractive. But a man who obsessively spends hours upon hours in the gym and spends a good portion of that time gazing at his perfect-form reps in a mirror? Not interested. Conversely, not interested in a guy who weighs 22 stone and spends his days in front of the TV eating take-away. Same goes for money. A man with drive is definitely admirable. However, if money and status are his life obsessions, pass. Lack of money after a certain age is also very unattractive.

    I can't say that either money or looks is the first thing that attracts me to a man. Those things are 'oh-by-the-way' considerations after I take a liking to his personality.
    edited February 3
  • SunnyBunBun79SunnyBunBun79 Member Posts: 1,049 Member Member Posts: 1,049 Member
    I don't even know how to tell if a person is rich or not at first glance! I have dated or been attracted to men who weren't considered attractive by society's standards...simply because of their sense of humor. Someone with an awesome sense of witty and goofy humor will always be attractive to me regardless of their money or looks🙃
  • lorrpblorrpb Member Posts: 11,419 Member Member Posts: 11,419 Member
    What happened to personal compatibility, intelligence, values, and communication? Those far outweigh Prince Charming looks and back when my friends and I got married, none of us had any money!
  • lynn_glenmontlynn_glenmont Member Posts: 8,665 Member Member Posts: 8,665 Member
    I'm inclined to say neither unless "catch your eye" is being taken very literal, and we're talking about people we have no information on other than a single glance, in which case it would be attractiveness and their facial expression. I generally find smiling people more attractive, but there are obviously situations in which that would be off-putting, and I might find a thoughtful expression or even a frown/anger attractive, depending on what's going on around us. Someone laughing at bullying isn't going to attract me.
  • WiseandcuriousWiseandcurious Member Posts: 720 Member Member Posts: 720 Member
    On OP's original point of what "catches our eye" and if money/status may be it - I notice yoy referred to yor friend as "he". Funnily enough, I have only ever heard the theory that "people" are attracted to the rich, espoused by men, and by people they tend to mean women. Does your friend think men nowadays are attracted to women with power and status vs looks? If not, then there seems to be a lot of internalised mysoginy behind his view (not saying he himself is a mysoginist person per se - not enough data).

    For everyone saying that one can't see at a glance who is wealthy vs who is not if they are dressed the same - I used to think so but I noticed with time that poverty ages badly as a whole :( Later in life, there seems to often be a difference - not universal but the wealthier tend to have better skin, teeth, bodies, posture etc. as they age. I think that's partly because of the money they can spend to care for themselves but also because of all the negative factors like stress which they have much less of. It makes me sad because it's just one more sign of how inequality breeds inequality :(

    That still does not make them more attractive in itself. I hink attractiveness is a combination of looks and attitude, i.e. does the persone look like they would behave a certain way? Make us feel a certain way? Whatever that looks like for each of us.
    edited February 4
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