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Relationship Compatibility

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  • socajamsocajam Member, Premium Posts: 2,538 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,538 Member
    gigius72 wrote: »
    socajam wrote: »
    Marrying different race leads to problems. People should stay with their own kind
    More importantly God says we should not be unequally yoked.. Ie.. a believer with a non-believer.. different faiths..
    But we live in a fallen sinful world that is lost and doomed to destroy it self so.. self gratification comes first..and most marry for financial reason loneliness, infatuation or simple cause it's been conditioned in their head grow up go to school get a job get married have kids get a mortgage then die.. Puppets on a string..
    Smh

    Where did God said this?
    You do know that God did not write the Bible right and as someone said to me - What pen did God use to write the Bible?
    Now if you were to say to me that God or the Spiritual Being gave the men inspiration to write the Bible - then we will agree

    You even have to see what Bible. Each Christian religion cherry picked what books to believe in and put them in their Bible, leaving out other books.
    Then you have to look at the translation. Many passages from original Hebrew have been completely changed. In several passages, where you see the word God, Lord our other ways to name him, in the Hebrew version there is god+name... And many times it's different.
    I've seen theological discussions and it really requires faith to believe the word recommendations they give lol.
    But we better avoid this path, it usually leads to very heated discussions.

    I am still waiting to where God wrote the Bible

  • socajamsocajam Member, Premium Posts: 2,538 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,538 Member
    socajam wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    msalicia07 wrote: »
    A little background information-

    I’m a Caucasian, blonde, blue eyed female, American. My husband is Asian, has dark features, about my height, close to my weight, and his family fled the Khmer Rouge (he is 1st generation American). We are both in our early 30’s.

    In another thread it was commented that marrying your race and culture creates more compatibility. Another poster said race is just aesthetics and that proximity, as well as personality, are what make relationships compatible. I didn’t want to derail the thread so thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss, as I myself am in an interracial marriage.

    I have found people have incredibly strong opinions about what they think makes a relationship compatible, and we are subject to comments and questions nearly everyday about our relationship. Mostly it’s when my husband is at the hospital and shows a picture of us, his associates are astounded I’m a blonde white female.

    Because of him I have learned about the world of prearranged marriages, and how common they still are. I’ve learned many new customs, food preparations, and 2 new languages. But in no way did I feel these differences meant we weren’t compatible. It was our outlook on life that deciphered that.

    Any thoughts and personal experiences? The more I dive into this the more I realize there is a world of belief systems that are being passed down, and I’d like to know what they are and why you believe them.
    My personal opinion on this is that many Americans really have no idea how to adapt to certain cultures. Notice I said many. We have so many freedoms here in America and when some see something like a female being more subservient to their husband based on culture, some freak out and say that it's America and that shouldn't be observed here. According to whom? If a culture follows certain traditions and it's their choice, then why have a voice of opposition if that person has absolutely NOTHING to do with it?
    I'll also say that from just watching shows like 90 Fiance and how some Americans go to other countries and disrespect how that country follows their culture leaves me with the understanding when countries say that Americans are some of the rudest people on Earth.
    I'm born and raised American. I'm of Filipino decent. I do follow a lot of Filipino culture especially where it comes to respect of elders regardless if they are your family or not. We have some non Filipinos in my family tree and they adapt to our culture when it comes to family gatherings, parties, weddings, funerals, etc.
    But IMO, while I do not care whether there is interracial relationships, I DO believe that if one does have a relationship with someone of their own race, there are less problems especially with those who though they may be fine with adaptation, friends and family DON'T seem to do as well. And when opposing families get to disagreeing how the relationship should be, that puts a lot of pressure on the couple themselves.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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    Well written and so true especially when it comes to respecting one's elders

    Respect is given when received. Being an elder does not give one the right to be a tool or a racist ahole. I feel in a lot of cultures, elders have this "right" to be as disrespectful as possible with no recourse other than to obey blindly.

    More likely the American way - name the cultures
  • socajamsocajam Member, Premium Posts: 2,538 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,538 Member
    socajam wrote: »
    socajam wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    msalicia07 wrote: »
    A little background information-

    I’m a Caucasian, blonde, blue eyed female, American. My husband is Asian, has dark features, about my height, close to my weight, and his family fled the Khmer Rouge (he is 1st generation American). We are both in our early 30’s.

    In another thread it was commented that marrying your race and culture creates more compatibility. Another poster said race is just aesthetics and that proximity, as well as personality, are what make relationships compatible. I didn’t want to derail the thread so thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss, as I myself am in an interracial marriage.

    I have found people have incredibly strong opinions about what they think makes a relationship compatible, and we are subject to comments and questions nearly everyday about our relationship. Mostly it’s when my husband is at the hospital and shows a picture of us, his associates are astounded I’m a blonde white female.

    Because of him I have learned about the world of prearranged marriages, and how common they still are. I’ve learned many new customs, food preparations, and 2 new languages. But in no way did I feel these differences meant we weren’t compatible. It was our outlook on life that deciphered that.

    Any thoughts and personal experiences? The more I dive into this the more I realize there is a world of belief systems that are being passed down, and I’d like to know what they are and why you believe them.
    My personal opinion on this is that many Americans really have no idea how to adapt to certain cultures. Notice I said many. We have so many freedoms here in America and when some see something like a female being more subservient to their husband based on culture, some freak out and say that it's America and that shouldn't be observed here. According to whom? If a culture follows certain traditions and it's their choice, then why have a voice of opposition if that person has absolutely NOTHING to do with it?
    I'll also say that from just watching shows like 90 Fiance and how some Americans go to other countries and disrespect how that country follows their culture leaves me with the understanding when countries say that Americans are some of the rudest people on Earth.
    I'm born and raised American. I'm of Filipino decent. I do follow a lot of Filipino culture especially where it comes to respect of elders regardless if they are your family or not. We have some non Filipinos in my family tree and they adapt to our culture when it comes to family gatherings, parties, weddings, funerals, etc.
    But IMO, while I do not care whether there is interracial relationships, I DO believe that if one does have a relationship with someone of their own race, there are less problems especially with those who though they may be fine with adaptation, friends and family DON'T seem to do as well. And when opposing families get to disagreeing how the relationship should be, that puts a lot of pressure on the couple themselves.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Well written and so true especially when it comes to respecting one's elders

    Respect is given when received. Being an elder does not give one the right to be a tool or a racist ahole. I feel in a lot of cultures, elders have this "right" to be as disrespectful as possible with no recourse other than to obey blindly.

    More likely the American way - name the cultures

    What are you talking about?
    My Chinese fiancé was raised as most in Chinese culture to blindly obey elders and never question anything they say. No matter how disrespectful the elder in question is being.
    There are a lot of cultures that are all about "respecting your elders". Respect again is given when received. 🤷‍♀️

    As I said it's an American way of life that your elders do not count
    Immigrants come here and quickly adapt to the American culture, where one's elders must know their place
  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member
    socajam wrote: »
    socajam wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    msalicia07 wrote: »
    A little background information-

    I’m a Caucasian, blonde, blue eyed female, American. My husband is Asian, has dark features, about my height, close to my weight, and his family fled the Khmer Rouge (he is 1st generation American). We are both in our early 30’s.

    In another thread it was commented that marrying your race and culture creates more compatibility. Another poster said race is just aesthetics and that proximity, as well as personality, are what make relationships compatible. I didn’t want to derail the thread so thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss, as I myself am in an interracial marriage.

    I have found people have incredibly strong opinions about what they think makes a relationship compatible, and we are subject to comments and questions nearly everyday about our relationship. Mostly it’s when my husband is at the hospital and shows a picture of us, his associates are astounded I’m a blonde white female.

    Because of him I have learned about the world of prearranged marriages, and how common they still are. I’ve learned many new customs, food preparations, and 2 new languages. But in no way did I feel these differences meant we weren’t compatible. It was our outlook on life that deciphered that.

    Any thoughts and personal experiences? The more I dive into this the more I realize there is a world of belief systems that are being passed down, and I’d like to know what they are and why you believe them.
    My personal opinion on this is that many Americans really have no idea how to adapt to certain cultures. Notice I said many. We have so many freedoms here in America and when some see something like a female being more subservient to their husband based on culture, some freak out and say that it's America and that shouldn't be observed here. According to whom? If a culture follows certain traditions and it's their choice, then why have a voice of opposition if that person has absolutely NOTHING to do with it?
    I'll also say that from just watching shows like 90 Fiance and how some Americans go to other countries and disrespect how that country follows their culture leaves me with the understanding when countries say that Americans are some of the rudest people on Earth.
    I'm born and raised American. I'm of Filipino decent. I do follow a lot of Filipino culture especially where it comes to respect of elders regardless if they are your family or not. We have some non Filipinos in my family tree and they adapt to our culture when it comes to family gatherings, parties, weddings, funerals, etc.
    But IMO, while I do not care whether there is interracial relationships, I DO believe that if one does have a relationship with someone of their own race, there are less problems especially with those who though they may be fine with adaptation, friends and family DON'T seem to do as well. And when opposing families get to disagreeing how the relationship should be, that puts a lot of pressure on the couple themselves.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Well written and so true especially when it comes to respecting one's elders

    Respect is given when received. Being an elder does not give one the right to be a tool or a racist ahole. I feel in a lot of cultures, elders have this "right" to be as disrespectful as possible with no recourse other than to obey blindly.

    More likely the American way - name the cultures

    What are you talking about?
    My Chinese fiancé was raised as most in Chinese culture to blindly obey elders and never question anything they say. No matter how disrespectful the elder in question is being.
    There are a lot of cultures that are all about "respecting your elders". Respect again is given when received. 🤷‍♀️
    Well yes there are exceptions. I had an older cousin that was a total *kitten*. When he passed I didn't want to go to the funeral. But my aunt asked me to attend and out of respect for HER, I went.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member
    As long as both spouses are willing to love and work on their marriage, then eventually, things get worked out.. and there is no "races" we are all one race.
    Well we are the HUMAN RACE, but there are obvious differences in genes and features that separate groups of humans. Hair, eye color, skin tone, etc. These are characteristics we can't really deny. HOWEVER they should never be used to characterize a person.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • SunnyBunBun79SunnyBunBun79 Member Posts: 1,143 Member Member Posts: 1,143 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    As long as both spouses are willing to love and work on their marriage, then eventually, things get worked out.. and there is no "races" we are all one race.
    Well we are the HUMAN RACE, but there are obvious differences in genes and features that separate groups of humans. Hair, eye color, skin tone, etc. These are characteristics we can't really deny. HOWEVER they should never be used to characterize a person.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I understand what you mean but ethnicity doesn't define whole separate races. We are all one race.
  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    As long as both spouses are willing to love and work on their marriage, then eventually, things get worked out.. and there is no "races" we are all one race.
    Well we are the HUMAN RACE, but there are obvious differences in genes and features that separate groups of humans. Hair, eye color, skin tone, etc. These are characteristics we can't really deny. HOWEVER they should never be used to characterize a person.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I understand what you mean but ethnicity doesn't define whole separate races. We are all one race.
    So if I go back to my days in learning about physiology it brought me back to this.


    "Race and ethnicity are used to categorize certain sections of the population. In basic terms, race describes physical traits, and ethnicity refers to cultural identification. Race may also be identified as something you inherit while ethnicity is something you learn."

    Unfortunately in our current world, people do see the differences and many times it creates a stereotype. I'd love if it didn't. It's slowly changing. Like I said earlier, I embrace people who are just good people regardless of where they are from or how they were raised.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member
    Differences in Physical traits doesn't equate being a whole entire separate race. We are the human race and there are offshoots of differences in skeletal features, But yes, we are all one human race. I'm just talking about that, ( DNA etc ) not the cultural society differences that have become commonly used to differentiate where people live and grow up in. Molecular biology shows very clearly, that data shows that the DNA of any two human beings is 99.9 percent identical, and we all share the same set of genes. In any case, 'race' is a social construct, not a scientific one. It started off with people wanting to be cast as superior to others in some way...and there begins social divides.
    True about the 99.9% but a single genome has like 3 million base pairs. And that's where the significance lies. But I do agree with you that race was set up as a social construct. I was going purely on the definition of both in the context of the overall discussion at hand. I do think that we think along the same lines.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • lorib642lorib642 Member Posts: 1,714 Member Member Posts: 1,714 Member
    I have heard that similar religious beliefs are important, but my husband is Jewish and I am a non believer coming up on 25 years. Every couple is different.
  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 44,563 Member
    Marrying different race leads to problems. People should stay with their own kind
    More importantly God says we should not be unequally yoked.. Ie.. a believer with a non-believer.. different faiths..
    But we live in a fallen sinful world that is lost and doomed to destroy it self so.. self gratification comes first..and most marry for financial reason loneliness, infatuation or simple cause it's been conditioned in their head grow up go to school get a job get married have kids get a mortgage then die.. Puppets on a string..
    Smh


    Clearly racism does still exist and some people use religion as an excuse to justify this. :s
    Yep. Seen it lots of times.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • Chef_BarbellChef_Barbell Member Posts: 6,277 Member Member Posts: 6,277 Member
    Marrying different race leads to problems. People should stay with their own kind
    More importantly God says we should not be unequally yoked.. Ie.. a believer with a non-believer.. different faiths..
    But we live in a fallen sinful world that is lost and doomed to destroy it self so.. self gratification comes first..and most marry for financial reason loneliness, infatuation or simple cause it's been conditioned in their head grow up go to school get a job get married have kids get a mortgage then die.. Puppets on a string..
    Smh


    Clearly racism does still exist and some people use religion as an excuse to justify this. :s

    Or faaaaammmmiilllyyy and "respect your elders and do as I say!" 🙄
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