Is it Okay to have a cheat day?
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Some people do well with a 'cheat/treat meal or day'. I look at it differently.
I do not 'plan' for a day or a meal to go 'off target' a bit. When I really feel like it is important for me to 'have a little more' or have something I normally would not have, I go ahead and do it -whether it is Tuesday, Wednesday, or Saturday night. I can do this without guilt or worry for two reasons, 1) I stay on target the vast majority of the time and 2) I stay away from 'trigger' foods/drink regardless of situation. Ex: my trigger is soda, so I do not allow myself full sugar or diet soda. They derail me completely!
Different life situations may make me 'feel' hungrier or like I just 'need to have' a little something-or it could just be 'life' itself. For example, last night, my family wanted Chinese food. While it is not normally on my 'food plan', it was not an issue because all of my other eating has been on target-so no guilt or worries. I watched my portions and tracked it, and enjoyed every bite. After that meal, I returned to my targeted way of eating.
My philosophy behind this way of looking at eating, is that this is a lifestyle change for me-not a 'diet' to think of 'when it ends'.
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My personal opinion is that if I need a cheat day I'm doing something wrong, I'd rather have a bite here and there to satisfy my cravings as long as I don't go crazy over my maintenance than go with huge restriction diet and then reward myself with a cheat day. Problem with my past attempts was that the cheat day soon enough turned into days and then weeks1
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I don't believe in the concept of "cheat days." That doesn't mean that I never eat over my daily limit of cals on occasion but I don't treat that as "cheat" day.
I don't "plan" for it. It's just a day that I went over and have to make up for by eating LESS on subsequent days.
I feel the same way about "banking" calories. If you "bank" cals, it's planned and is a way to give yourself "permission" to eat over your daily limit whether you really "need" to do so or not.
Better IMO to try to remain as consistent as possible day-to-day as you can with the understanding that you'll go over on some days and will just have to make up the overeating by eating less in the next few days.
The result is probably the same but the "process" and thinking behind it is entirely different.3 -
not all cheat days are alike just as not all people have the same caloric needs.
i know a guy who eats a whole pizza, a half gallon of ice cream or more, a huge burger or steak meal, pasta, brownies and the list goes on and on for his weekly cheat day. unsurprisingly he never loses any weight because he literally eats over 3500 calories over maintenance every saturday. but he doesn't gain any weight, either, as he's tall and reasonably active. at 5' 3", i can't afford to have a 4000+ calorie day. to be fair, i don't think i could manage to eat as much as he does on saturdays.1 -
I don't believe in the concept of "cheat days." That doesn't mean that I never eat over my daily limit of cals on occasion but I don't treat that as "cheat" day.
I don't "plan" for it. It's just a day that I went over and have to make up for by eating LESS on subsequent days.
I feel the same way about "banking" calories. If you "bank" cals, it's planned and is a way to give yourself "permission" to eat over your daily limit whether you really "need" to do so or not.
Better IMO to try to remain as consistent as possible day-to-day as you can with the understanding that you'll go over on some days and will just have to make up the overeating by eating less in the next few days.
The result is probably the same but the "process" and thinking behind it is entirely different.
the result of course is the same - doesnt matter if your over day is before or after your under days as long as the average is on target.
I think the opposite about process though - I would rather use banked calories- hence I start my week on Monday so they are banked by the weekend - rather than paying back borrowed calories.
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As a side question, I have noticed that many people bank calories through the week to save for the weekend. Why? Do you eat differently on the weekend than you do during the rest of the week for some reason? Or you're just saving up and planning 'treats' for yourself on days that are more leisurely? I guess I don't understand this concept. I do know that some people let themselves sleep later or stay up later on the weekend, even though 'they' say you're supposed to go to bed and wake up roughly the same time every day. So somehow these days are treated differently? I guess having been retired for many years makes me forget how these days might be different!!1
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mylittlerainbow wrote: »As a side question, I have noticed that many people bank calories through the week to save for the weekend. Why? Do you eat differently on the weekend than you do during the rest of the week for some reason? Or you're just saving up and planning 'treats' for yourself on days that are more leisurely? I guess I don't understand this concept. I do know that some people let themselves sleep later or stay up later on the weekend, even though 'they' say you're supposed to go to bed and wake up roughly the same time every day. So somehow these days are treated differently? I guess having been retired for many years makes me forget how these days might be different!!
I am out most weekends, and my schedule is different. That means, yeah, I eat differently. Because the whole rhythm of my days has changed, I am doing more socializing and I don't have access to my kitchen for 2 out of 3 meals a day.
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mylittlerainbow wrote: »As a side question, I have noticed that many people bank calories through the week to save for the weekend. Why? Do you eat differently on the weekend than you do during the rest of the week for some reason? Or you're just saving up and planning 'treats' for yourself on days that are more leisurely? I guess I don't understand this concept. I do know that some people let themselves sleep later or stay up later on the weekend, even though 'they' say you're supposed to go to bed and wake up roughly the same time every day. So somehow these days are treated differently? I guess having been retired for many years makes me forget how these days might be different!!
My husband and I have a regular date night, and Sundays are our family rest/feast day as part of our religious practice. We do occasionally have midweek feast days too, and we observe some civic holidays, and I also bank for those accordingly. We also practice traditional fasting and abstinence from meat on Fridays. So no, not every day is the same.1 -
mylittlerainbow wrote: »As a side question, I have noticed that many people bank calories through the week to save for the weekend. Why? Do you eat differently on the weekend than you do during the rest of the week for some reason? Or you're just saving up and planning 'treats' for yourself on days that are more leisurely? I guess I don't understand this concept. I do know that some people let themselves sleep later or stay up later on the weekend, even though 'they' say you're supposed to go to bed and wake up roughly the same time every day. So somehow these days are treated differently? I guess having been retired for many years makes me forget how these days might be different!!
I calorie bank, and I'm retired. It's not a weekday/weekend pattern in my case, but a preference to eat more indulgently now and then, usually social events or restaurant meals.
I'm also in maintenance now, so everything needs to balance, no weekly deficit as a cushion unless I intentionally create the cushion.
Daily, the deficit's not a big number, just 100-150 calories. I see no real risk or harm in doing it.
Personalization is important, IMO. For me, this is a happier routine than balancing to maintenance calories every single day. That wouldn't be true for everyone, and that's fine.
It's just one option.🤷♀️4 -
Thank you. I guess all the days run together for me, even when there is no pandemic, and this pattern was something I found puzzling. I'm as likely to have a class on a Sunday afternoon as on a Tuesday night, for instance. So this is illuminating.2
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mylittlerainbow wrote: »As a side question, I have noticed that many people bank calories through the week to save for the weekend. Why? Do you eat differently on the weekend than you do during the rest of the week for some reason? Or you're just saving up and planning 'treats' for yourself on days that are more leisurely? I guess I don't understand this concept. I do know that some people let themselves sleep later or stay up later on the weekend, even though 'they' say you're supposed to go to bed and wake up roughly the same time every day. So somehow these days are treated differently? I guess having been retired for many years makes me forget how these days might be different!!
I work on weekdays so I eat the same quick breakfast, take a similar packed lunch and eat a home cooked dinner.
I rarely go out for meals during the week.
On weekends I might have a few alcoholic drinks and go out to a cafe for coffee and cake or out to dinner or get a pizza to eat in front of the tellie or buy snacky things like hot chips while at my sports club.
Things that cost more calories than my daily allowance -so good to have a bit banked ahead to allow for that.
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Ah. Since I haven't socialized with friends for well over a year and haven't gone inside a restaurant in all that time either, my life is completely confined to the meals I make for myself and the occasional takeout food that I carefully consider and then log. So all my days are the same. Thanks.1
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First, don't worry about the number of disagrees you are getting. This community is fast to mark anything that is said that is incorrect (like eating more to speed up your metabolism) as a disagree even if it is someone who is making a mistake that needs guidance. I don't know of anyone who showed up at MFP needing to lose weight that didn't need to unlearn a few things, myself included.
The reason why eating more can increase the amount of energy you are burning in a single day is not metabolism it is movement. It is not an equation though. I can't eat 1k extra calories today and expect my movement to increase 250 calories of burn for instance. How I feel in other ways will have an impact. For instance my highest NEAT increase to calorie increase is on vacation. I can't be precise on it because nothing we do is exact but it is noticeable on my spreadsheet.
As mentioned eating maintenance (for several days not a single day) can offset some of the changes we encounter during prolonged deficit but that is not the same thing either.
A lot of the myths you will read on the internet that are presented as fact come from confirmation bias. If each time I stand on one foot my wife coincidentally flips the light switch I might conclude that standing on one foot turns on the light. That is especially true if that is where my head was at.
Boosting metabolism sounds so much easier than disciplined eating that it is the thing people want to believe AND it sells advertising on blogs. It is possible to boost your metabolism slightly but not enough to eat without discipline and still lose weight.11 -
My opinion on cheat days is I don't think someone should eat more than maintenance on days they deem as "cheat" or "treat" days. If we want to build healthy habits, we have to learn what our limits are and adhere to them.
Why?
when I was losing, my allowance was 1460 - my maintenance allowance is 1710.
If I ate, say, 1360 for 6 days that gives me an extra 600 by end of week so I could eat 2360 on the 7th day - well over 1710.
my average is still on target and I am still 'learning what my limits are and adhering to them' on a weekly average.
as Indeed I have - since I use same system in maintenance - but of course now on an average of 1710.8 -
I personally prefer the term "treat meal" because in all reality, if you are going to eat off plan, you really should just eat off plan one meal, and then go back to your regular schedule programming. Treat yourself, have some pizza, or whatever, and go back to your planned meals.3
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paperpudding wrote: »My opinion on cheat days is I don't think someone should eat more than maintenance on days they deem as "cheat" or "treat" days. If we want to build healthy habits, we have to learn what our limits are and adhere to them.
Why?
when I was losing, my allowance was 1460 - my maintenance allowance is 1710.
If I ate, say, 1360 for 6 days that gives me an extra 600 by end of week so I could eat 2360 on the 7th day - well over 1710.
my average is still on target and I am still 'learning what my limits are and adhering to them' on a weekly average.
as Indeed I have - since I use same system in maintenance - but of course now on an average of 1710.
I don't disagree with you. Your plan definitely works numbers-wise. I also shouldn't have said "someone", I should have specified myself.
Planned over-indulgence (cheat day) is not healthy for me. There's a reason I reached the points I have and over-indulgence is obviously a huge part of it. For myself, the right way to do this is to hold myself accountable (via logging), keep a daily deficit, and listen to my body -- go into maintenance mode when needed (which is basically what happened in April of this year).
Here's the sentence directly following the one you quoted:That said, I also don't think that never over indulging is an unrealistic expectation -- so over eating during cheat/treat days could help teach us valuable lessons about how to recover from them.
IMO, part of the difference is deeper in the thought patterns. (Note: I'm not saying you need to change your thought patterns. I'm saying I don't think you're really understanding mine . . . not that that's your responsibility, either. 🙂 I'm commenting because I think seeing both of our perspectives clearly can be a help to folks who are still sorting out how they want to think about this stuff, as well as how they want to do it logistically.)
You are characterizing eating over maintenance calories on particular days as "over-indulging" and the banking strategy as "excusing" it. To my mind, that implies some value judgement, one I don't share.
What I'm saying, and I think some others may also be, is that for me there's no moral question involved here. It's just food. I need to pay attention to my food consumption over time for my health's sake, but I seriously dislike turning that into what feels *to me* like some kind of melodramatic morality play. If I eat over maintenance calories, in a context of good nutrition and a healthy body weight, it's not "over-indulging", it's just eating different amounts at different times, value neutral.
I agree that there can be negative or destructive overall eating patterns, ones that increase health risk in various ways, for example. Value judgements may enter into it, in that context. (If I start regaining weight into an unhealthy zone, or accept seriously sub-par nutrition as an overall eating pattern over time when I could afford better, I will consider that undesirable behavior, in myself. )
But yes, different strategies work for different people, and I think it's useful to understand that the context may be entirely different value systems and different relationships with foods. That's part of what makes life interesting, in a positive sense. I can understand why you might think as you do, and I don't consider that wrong, insofar as it affects your personal eating behavior.
Personally, from my own perspective, I don't have cheat days, I don't over-indulge, I don't feel guilt or shame about eating, I don't excuse. Those thought patterns are unproductive, for me. I prefer a more "neutral science fair experiment" perspective.
I shoot for a reasonable balance among many factors, including healthy body weight, nutrition, energy level, enjoyment/happiness, affordability, practicality, social connection, and more. When it works out really well, that seems like a complicated but fun game at which I've won. When it doesn't work as well, I look for a different strategy.10 -
You are characterizing eating over maintenance calories on particular days as "over-indulging" and the banking strategy as "excusing" it. To my mind, that implies some value judgement, one I don't share.
What I'm saying, and I think some others may also be, is that for me there's no moral question involved here. It's just food. I need to pay attention to my food consumption over time for my health's sake, but I seriously dislike turning that into what feels *to me* like some kind of melodramatic morality play. If I eat over maintenance calories, in a context of good nutrition and a healthy body weight, it's not "over-indulging", it's just eating different amounts at different times, value neutral.
You summed up exactly how I think of it. The value judgment part of it isn't helpful to me at all. In fact, in the past it has been actively harmful in helping me maintain my weight.
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I think it is understandable that some are not comfortable banking calories. We have seen many people come through here that think that banking might trigger eating more than desired.
I can't speak to that because I have successfully banked just about weekly throughout.
My concern is that if it is mathematically correct it should never be considered an over-indulgence even if you never intend to bank. If you think that way you might also be tempted to ignore exercise calories which could lead a person down an unhealthy path.
My TDEE was about 2400 yesterday, it will be over 3000 today. You can't look at one number as good and the other as over-indulging. It was nasty weather yesterday so I didn't get much done, it is pretty and cool today and I have been working hard. The lower number that was right for me yesterday is wrong for me today. Just like if I bank calories and choose not to use them, that is wrong. Certainly I could get away with it here and there but if I am not careful I could compromise my health.
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I do not usually, intentionally, 'bank' calories for some specific future food indulgence. However, my appetite (and activity level) is kind of all over the map. Yesterday, I was busy and not particularly hungry. I had eight hundred net calories. That is not healthy or sustainable.
But. I'm (unsurprisingly!) hungry today.
So I'm on track to finish about 2400, once I eat my pre-logged dinner.
It isn't intentional but it is how it is going to balance out and, interestingly, it is going to balance out to about my maintenance calories across two days (about a hundred under).
I usually do not have anything as dramatic as this - typically I aim for at least 1200 net - but I, um, slept through dinner. I absolutely do this over a week without trying nearly every single week. My days are not the same. Trying to hit EXACTLY maintenance every single day would not work. My life and my hunger are variable. I am not interested in spending the rest of my life trying to manage so closely that I am never over or under. My diet (in the 'what I eat') sense needs to flex with that.
It isn't an excuse to over indulge, it's balance in life.
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paperpudding wrote: »My opinion on cheat days is I don't think someone should eat more than maintenance on days they deem as "cheat" or "treat" days. If we want to build healthy habits, we have to learn what our limits are and adhere to them.
Why?
when I was losing, my allowance was 1460 - my maintenance allowance is 1710.
If I ate, say, 1360 for 6 days that gives me an extra 600 by end of week so I could eat 2360 on the 7th day - well over 1710.
my average is still on target and I am still 'learning what my limits are and adhering to them' on a weekly average.
as Indeed I have - since I use same system in maintenance - but of course now on an average of 1710.
I don't disagree with you. Your plan definitely works numbers-wise. I also shouldn't have said "someone", I should have specified myself.
Planned over-indulgence (cheat day) is not healthy for me. There's a reason I reached the points I have and over-indulgence is obviously a huge part of it. For myself, the right way to do this is to hold myself accountable (via logging), keep a daily deficit, and listen to my body -- go into maintenance mode when needed (which is basically what happened in April of this year).
Here's the sentence directly following the one you quoted:That said, I also don't think that never over indulging is an unrealistic expectation -- so over eating during cheat/treat days could help teach us valuable lessons about how to recover from them.
IMO, part of the difference is deeper in the thought patterns. (Note: I'm not saying you need to change your thought patterns. I'm saying I don't think you're really understanding mine . . . not that that's your responsibility, either. 🙂 I'm commenting because I think seeing both of our perspectives clearly can be a help to folks who are still sorting out how they want to think about this stuff, as well as how they want to do it logistically.)
You are characterizing eating over maintenance calories on particular days as "over-indulging" and the banking strategy as "excusing" it. To my mind, that implies some value judgement, one I don't share.
What I'm saying, and I think some others may also be, is that for me there's no moral question involved here. It's just food. I need to pay attention to my food consumption over time for my health's sake, but I seriously dislike turning that into what feels *to me* like some kind of melodramatic morality play. If I eat over maintenance calories, in a context of good nutrition and a healthy body weight, it's not "over-indulging", it's just eating different amounts at different times, value neutral.
I agree that there can be negative or destructive overall eating patterns, ones that increase health risk in various ways, for example. Value judgements may enter into it, in that context. (If I start regaining weight into an unhealthy zone, or accept seriously sub-par nutrition as an overall eating pattern over time when I could afford better, I will consider that undesirable behavior, in myself. )
But yes, different strategies work for different people, and I think it's useful to understand that the context may be entirely different value systems and different relationships with foods. That's part of what makes life interesting, in a positive sense. I can understand why you might think as you do, and I don't consider that wrong, insofar as it affects your personal eating behavior.
Personally, from my own perspective, I don't have cheat days, I don't over-indulge, I don't feel guilt or shame about eating, I don't excuse. Those thought patterns are unproductive, for me. I prefer a more "neutral science fair experiment" perspective.
I shoot for a reasonable balance among many factors, including healthy body weight, nutrition, energy level, enjoyment/happiness, affordability, practicality, social connection, and more. When it works out really well, that seems like a complicated but fun game at which I've won. When it doesn't work as well, I look for a different strategy.
The quote I referenced had an example of deficits throughout the week with a day where one could consume in excess of maintenance on the 7th. I understand that different words elicit different feelings and tbh I thought "over-indulging" was only descriptive.
I used the word "excuse" because that's what I did all last year. I would maintain a deficit throughout the week and then use that deficit to excuse an overly unrestricted weekend. At the end of the year I was up 10.1 pounds. This time around, maintenance is my limit but constant deficit is my goal.
I am not sure where *melodramatic morality play* comes from. TBH when I read the quoted part of my reply and saw the "I don't think that someone...", I lol'd -- who do I think I am to be saying something like that lmao, I have no authority to decide what people should or shouldn't do. Pure silliness. I definitely should have phrased it in a way that made it clear these types of days don't work for me and I should have stated why.
To the bolded: I thought (hoped) that would be reasonably clear, given where I put emphasis in the phrasing of my post: That's how it subjectively *feels* to me if I start thinking in terms of overdoing, excuses, guilt, compensation, "making up for", etc. I'm not saying anyone else does or should feel that way. It just doesn't work for me.
I'm a pretty old person (65), so I've gone through many different iterations in how I think about food, eating, body image, etc. In this phase of life, I like things to be calm (calm lives in different habits for different people!), I like my eating (and other things where possible) to be enjoyable, and I keep increasing in understanding what does/doesn't work for me. I enjoy hearing from others what does/doesn't work for them personally, and why . . . especially if their outlook is different. I think sharing those perspectives can help others, who will also have diverse approaches that work best for them, but may not have figured out yet what those are.
If I try to balance calories strictly and exactly every day - a thing I came closer to doing while losing in 2015-16, when I had fewer calories to work with, compared to now, in maintenance - that's more obsessive feeling, more anxiety-creating *for me*. Others have different personalities, will experience it differently.
I think personalizing one's strategies to one's individual strengths, preferences, limitations, etc., is a smart way to play, in general. Everyone isn't like me, doesn't need to think like me. If someone has a cognitive frame and habits that work for them, I think that's great, sincerely. I do resist the implication that one person's preferred conceptualization and habits are necessarily going to work for everyone. (My current habits may not even work for *me* forever!)
Not accusing you, here, but as a generality, I think the plethora of "eat this specific way" "think this particular way about food and eating" in the blogosphere and our culture overall can be an obstacle to people who want to manage their weight, can contribute to some people feeling like they're bad or broken when a supposed "one true way" doesn't work for them. We see posts here struggling with that kind of stuff - the "don't weigh daily", "must eat low carb", etc., when people perceive them as supposed universal truths. (There are some universal truths in the sense of being sound hard science, of course.)
The post that started this thread (taken alone, without subsequent clarifications by OP) feels a little bit influenced in that direction, as if there are strict rules that govern how to manage a meal/day of over-goal eating, and that if one does it that "right" way, the effects will be good, otherwise they will be bad. (There were also IMO some implied factual misunderstandings that are common blogosphere-ish myths, but I commented on that on page 1.)
I'm sorry if the words I used to refer to my own feelings and internal state were offensive. That *is* how it feels, though, to me . . . a feeling I don't expect others to share.
I get that it's hard to phrase things in a clear and neutral, but not over-generalized way. Current casual American English (and maybe other variants) tends to use "you" phrasing (or equivalent) in cases where "one" or "someone" or "some people" might actually be a clearer representation of their actual intended meaning. (Some of the alternatives, like "one", can even come across as stilted, pedantic.) I struggle with phrasing things neutrally, and often don't succeed, despite trying.3 -
I don't disagree with you. Your plan definitely works numbers-wise. I also shouldn't have said "someone", I should have specified myself.
Yes that makes a huge difference to what you are saying.
Saying this or that works for me, I need to do this or that - is WAY different to "someone shouldn't..." which comes across as a general statement about what people should do, not about what works for you individually2 -
The quote I referenced had an example of deficits throughout the week with a day where one could consume in excess of maintenance on the 7th. I understand that different words elicit different feelings and tbh I thought "over-indulging" was only descriptive.
I used the word "excuse" because that's what I did all last year. I would maintain a deficit throughout the week and then use that deficit to excuse an overly unrestricted weekend. At the end of the year I was up 10.1 pounds. This time around, maintenance is my limit but constant deficit is my goal.
Yes you referenced my post - which didnt describe over indulging at all, it described in number terms, using my own numbers as an example, how one can eat over maitenance one day and still be on average target.
At no point was I describing 'an overly unrestricted weekend'3 -
I personally prefer the term "treat meal" because in all reality, if you are going to eat off plan, you really should just eat off plan one meal, and then go back to your regular schedule programming. Treat yourself, have some pizza, or whatever, and go back to your planned meals.
or consider pizza, whatever, as part of your planned meals - when I eat pizza, have a few alcoholic drinks, go out for coffee and cake (the type of things I do which cost more calories than usual) it isnt off plan or deviating from regular scheduling - it is part of the plan to include such things.
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paperpudding wrote: »I personally prefer the term "treat meal" because in all reality, if you are going to eat off plan, you really should just eat off plan one meal, and then go back to your regular schedule programming. Treat yourself, have some pizza, or whatever, and go back to your planned meals.
or consider pizza, whatever, as part of your planned meals - when I eat pizza, have a few alcoholic drinks, go out for coffee and cake (the type of things I do which cost more calories than usual) it isnt off plan or deviating from regular scheduling - it is part of the plan to include such things.
Yeah. While I don't calorie bank I will absolutely pre-log several pieces of pizza or my fast food or cake or whatever - or have it without preplanning, log it, and eat around it.
WHAT I eat has changed basically not at all between now and being obese. It's more quantity and frequency.3 -
Let us say your maintenance calories are 2000 a day. Let us say you had a cheat day and ate 3200 calories, you are not going to gain fat/weight by overeating 1200 calories on one day. No worries. I have found over the years if I do have a so called cheat day, which isn't a day, more like one meal I generally feel like crap after I eat it, therefore I don't do it much. Went out for Mexican last week, ate lots of chips and salsa and a big fat Chimi- heart burn city and bloated from what I can estimate to be around 200 carbs in one meal!2
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My goal is to eat at or under maintenance. On weekends I've been closer to maintenance, on weekdays I try to aim at 300 to 500 calorie deficit. In addition the weekends tend to be less healthy than weekdays.3
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I think too much of the replies on this post (and in these forums in general) focus too much on phrasing and not enough on meaning. My phrasing here on MFP is relative to the current stage in the process that I am at (and atm, I am still near the beginning of a long road ahead ... but I've done it before, I know what works for me). It in no way changes the overall meaning of what I am trying to convey. The feeling, sure, but not the meaning. It's a bit like someone spelling a word incorrectly in a post they put a lot of thought into and someone else stripping all meaning out of the message and focusing squarely on the misspelled word.
What was I trying to convey? To the OP, I was asking about the plateau they had faced and suggesting some areas that could have caused it -- this was at the root of why they had the day they had. I also posted graphs showing gains and plateaus that happen naturally throughout the monthly cycle as well as a more current graph that shows fictitious plateaus created by the scale. The smaller portion of the message was relating to the question the OP had, which I framed improperly and should have put more meaning behind.
Think what ya will of me, or even flame on. I've unfollowed this post lol.
The phrasing is important because of the mental aspects of weight loss and management. What we tell ourselves matters and improving on what we tell ourselves improves our chances of long term success.
For instance, you say you know what works for you. That is not a good way to begin. It is better to start with questions not answers. Depending on how long it has been between your last time and this time you may have changed quite a bit. Also, you want this to be the last time not a repetition.
No one is flaming you. I have seen what flaming looks like. This is not even close. People are trying to guide you and help the OP by making sure the advice is sound.7 -
I think too much of the replies on this post (and in these forums in general) focus too much on phrasing and not enough on meaning. My phrasing here on MFP is relative to the current stage in the process that I am at (and atm, I am still near the beginning of a long road ahead ... but I've done it before, I know what works for me). It in no way changes the overall meaning of what I am trying to convey. The feeling, sure, but not the meaning. It's a bit like someone spelling a word incorrectly in a post they put a lot of thought into and someone else stripping all meaning out of the message and focusing squarely on the misspelled word.
What was I trying to convey? To the OP, I was asking about the plateau they had faced and suggesting some areas that could have caused it -- this was at the root of why they had the day they had. I also posted graphs showing gains and plateaus that happen naturally throughout the monthly cycle as well as a more current graph that shows fictitious plateaus created by the scale. The smaller portion of the message was relating to the question the OP had, which I framed improperly and should have put more meaning behind.
Think what ya will of me, or even flame on. I've unfollowed this post lol.
Nobody was flaming you.
No need to play the martyr.
And, no, it wasn't at all like spelling a word incorrectly - you got the responses you did because your post came across as being statements about what all people should do, , not about what works for you individually.
That might not have been what you meant but it is how your post came across.
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paperpudding wrote: »I think too much of the replies on this post (and in these forums in general) focus too much on phrasing and not enough on meaning. My phrasing here on MFP is relative to the current stage in the process that I am at (and atm, I am still near the beginning of a long road ahead ... but I've done it before, I know what works for me). It in no way changes the overall meaning of what I am trying to convey. The feeling, sure, but not the meaning. It's a bit like someone spelling a word incorrectly in a post they put a lot of thought into and someone else stripping all meaning out of the message and focusing squarely on the misspelled word.
What was I trying to convey? To the OP, I was asking about the plateau they had faced and suggesting some areas that could have caused it -- this was at the root of why they had the day they had. I also posted graphs showing gains and plateaus that happen naturally throughout the monthly cycle as well as a more current graph that shows fictitious plateaus created by the scale. The smaller portion of the message was relating to the question the OP had, which I framed improperly and should have put more meaning behind.
Think what ya will of me, or even flame on. I've unfollowed this post lol.
Nobody was flaming you.
No need to play the martyr.
And, no, it wasn't at all like spelling a word incorrectly - you got the responses you did because your post came across as being statements about what all people should do, , not about what works for you individually.
That might not have been what you meant but it is how your post came across.
Also, one of the benefits of posting in a group is that the group acts as a "lie detector". One of the dangers is that we do lie to ourselves. Without a lie detector those lies keep getting repeated in our brains until we accept them as core beliefs.
I (normally) do not mind being told I am wrong or that my thought process needs refinement because it helps me guard against the thoughts or lies that hinder me. I will need some amount of refinement until I die after many many years (hopefully) of maintaining a weight that works for me and my doctor.
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To me, phrasing is super important. When I first started out, my goal was just to lose some pounds. But I quickly started to realize that the mental aspect of weight loss carried far more weight (pardon the pun) than I ever knew. Challenging my subconscious thought patterns, my language and the mind games I played with myself is far more important than counting calories and going for a run. So I refuse to call it a cheat day - because for me, there are all kinds of implications and subconscious beliefs behind that word cheat. And I’m trying to change how I think.4
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