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  • cityjaneLondoncityjaneLondon Member Posts: 8,922 Member Member Posts: 8,922 Member
    Flea - I agree with you, other people's reactions can be harder to deal with than one's own. I had to really pluck up every ounce of courage to tell DH. His beloved previous partner of 25 years died of breast cancer. He coped better than I thought he would, though.
    I'm sending hugs to you. Sounds like you have an excellent NP. Lean on her. Mine was my lifeline and absolutely wonderful. They have seen it all and are special people.
    My cancer was in 2007. I was 57. I had intra-operational radiotherapy and four months chemotherapy. 13 lymph nodes out.
    So far, so good. I'm still here. Every day is a bonus. No recurrence. So far.
    Ring the NP. Talk to her. She will be with you step by step.
    Lots of love and strength to you.

    Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    P S - Your job at the prison sounds wonderful! :D I used to teach 'Liberal Sudies' (Drama, Art, Poetry, Psychology. Sociology etc etc etc) to craft apprentices , miners, lightermen, engineers at a technical college. It was fulfilling and touching. <3
    edited June 11
  • evie1958evie1958 Member Posts: 612 Member Member Posts: 612 Member
    Flea, keeping you in my thoughts.
    Rori, love the haircut! It looks really cute!
    Michele, I agree with Machka, kick Pete and Denise out for date night and read to PJ, I'm sure you would both love it!
    Katla, so happy that you get to see your daughter and her family!

    Kissing grandkids. Our grandson was pretty cheap with hugs and kisses when he was small, today is his fifth birthday, and he is much more generous now. He even ran over to me when he saw me at the Y (where his daycare is), the caregivers weren't impressed, but did get over it pretty quickly. Oh, and I wasn't far away from where his group was going for a walk. Our granddaughter can be pretty cheap with hugs and kisses to, but she will surprise you sometimes! I take what I can get! Last time they were here, she only wanted to give me a high five, so I went with it. That was in the living room, then when they got to the front door and she had her shoes and jacket on, she decided she wanted kisses. I was only too happy to oblige! Our son said he had no idea what changed from the living room to the front door, I said I didn't care 'cause I got kisses! lol I've never been around to kiss them goodnight, but I sure try to get the hello and goodbye ones!
    My eating has been uncontrolled, which of course means bad things happening on the scale. I have tried upping my exercise to combat the eating, but that doesn't always work. I do find that if I'm busy doing something that I'm interested in, I don't feel hungry. Yesterday it was 2 pm before I had lunch. I was doing up some flower planters so didn't even think about lunch. Need more days like that.... I do find if I'm bored I tend to eat more. And not because I'm hungry.... sigh.
    Hugs for those needing them, congrats to those celebrating and welcome to the newbies!
    Evelyn, Vancouver Island
  • auntiebkauntiebk Member Posts: 1,570 Member Member Posts: 1,570 Member
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: BP, typed hymns.
    Bonus: emailed SWOCC requesting BB&B, register for Traffic Flagger class, 1.75 hrs chopping salal, looong walk with D.
    Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call R & S, fire district: minutes, NIMS to Chief, loan pre-approval extract to DH, contact list, drop off cookies, ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Nothing but You, Do Your Thing, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick; practice dances: One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat),); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove. ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this spring’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers).
    Joyful June:
    9-Ask a friend what made them happy recently… and LISTEN to her answer!!! Making jewelry learning how to make heat change color of metals.
    10-Bring joy to others by doing something kind for them: good listening to D, and she returned the favor in spades ;)

    Took advantage of the last dry day for awhile to chop another hour and three quarters worth of brush and took the long port route with D. 2 hrs walking over 10K steps the second time this week! The beer and pretzel with cheese sauce didn’t even put me over CICO, but I’m pooped.

    Heather “I hate watering. ” I resemble that remark. This spring I’ve done absolutely no watering and despite it the potatoes I planted have sprouted up… including a few volunteers in the patch from 2 years ago. Fortunately rain is in the forecast for the next 3 days… ;)
    Kylia IMHO that wasn’t passive aggressive, that was just telling the truth. How could you know what your SIL intended with the chain saw or whether or not she was done with it? You are not responsible for what your SIL does or does not do. Sticking to the facts will help Steve to learn that. :naughty:
    Margaret you were an angel for that woman and her child. Prayers for them, the child in the ex’s custody and even the troubled ex.
    Annie please try not to worry, that stimulates cortisol production which I believe can trigger fat storage. Laugh that little three tenths away!
    Julie Bravissima for your gracious reply to the thank you emails. Well done!
    Pip that is a truly loving way to play Scrabble! :love:
    Debbie:cry: I wish your DH would gift you with some together activity that you like at least once a month. A special Debbie day?
    Rebecca you’re not bossy you just know your body!
    Michele great puzzle! “no books” to read to PJ??? :noway: Wish there was some way Pete or Denise would FaceTime you and let you read to PJ while they do something else.
    Vicki any good “also-rans” from the last hiring attempt?
    Rori I could reach right into those pics and hug you extra long. :love: your smile!
    Tracey thank you so VERY much for the exercise. While your left foot is pushing into the wall, where is your right foot? Is the right ankle crossed over the left knee so you’re pushing down/away on the right knee? You’re so insightful, my hips (and so my knees) are weak areas.
    I’ve been reading through and having so much I want to comment on, but honestly just don’t have it in me right now. I did have to comment on this though. Your pain sounds like the early start of me not paying attention enough when I had originally hurt my hip. Anyhow, there was an exercise that my therapist recommended and it makes all the difference for me when I’m starting to feel the pain.

    Lay on a flat firm surface with a wall close to it. She recommended the floor. I use my bed as I have no wall space to do this anywhere else. While on your back you put your feet against the wall, your bum close to the wall. It should look like you are sitting with proper posture on a straight chair. With you left foot pressed tight against the wall, take both hands and place on your right knee. Push hard using your foot against the wall and also with your hands on your knee. You should be holding your back and hips in place. Hold for a slow 5 count then reverse foot and hand. I do these every time I start to feel that pain now and it has helped a lot! She recommended I do it daily for life and all women should.
    Flea (((hugs))) held extra extra long. Could it be your DH didn’t ask because he didn’t want to know? Sending love and power and more love and much caring.
    Machka “I think, if it were me, I'd shoo Denise and Pete out of the house ... tell them to go on a date or something ... then bring out a stack of books and read to/with PJ.” What a great idea!

    Lighter, lovelies!

    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    June: leaner/stronger/kinder than May.
    daily: sit with Joe: 10, weigh/wii: 10/0/0; steps>6362=10745!!!, vits=8.5, log=10, CI<CO=10, CI<250<CO=7, Tumble=7, Shadow=10 mfp=10, outside=13, up hill=9, clean 10=2.
    wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue: LD=2 Wed: TC=2 PW=1 Thurs: PW=1, watched part of principles of pilates. Fri: TC=1 Sat: PW=1, rX x4=1.
    wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/6:141.8 6/12: 6/20: 6/27: 6/30:
    mnthly: board mtg=1, grant=, 21 plan=, waist=42.0
    bonus: AF=5 play= sew=
    2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 19,027 Member Member Posts: 19,027 Member
    Relaxing this week ... sleeping, reading, a little bit of exercise ...


    M in Oz
  • grandmalliegrandmallie Member Posts: 6,836 Member Member Posts: 6,836 Member
    Well working on 4 hours of sleep broken up by waking up have to get bloodwork done thos morning and its fasting..
    Then will go pick up Homer and come home,Dan works 11-4 so will take him to work..
    Rori- it literally lools like a weight of your shoulders,and you look stunning..
    Bruces send off sounds wonderful and I have instructed my daughter there are 3 places i want my ashes scattered.
    Ding Darling Wildlife refuge on Sanibel Island,Fla.
    Seagull Beach,South Yarmouth ,Cape Cod,Ma.
    Plaice cove beach,Hampton,N.H - that is the beach i grew up going to.
    Slept with the windows open how delightful,its in the 50s with no humidity..
    here is hoping i can get through on 4 hrs sleep without a nap.
    Flea- I know you will get through this with grace and cousins wife had a double mastectomy because she carried that gene also. And she is doing phenomenal.. keep us in the loop and Ill keep you in my prayers..xoxo
    edited June 11
  • Katla49Katla49 Member Posts: 8,390 Member Member Posts: 8,390 Member
    Rori: I love your hair cut and your smile. You are lovely inside and out! :heart:

    I attended our niece’s wedding this evening. DD and our grandchildren we there, too. The wedding was lovely and our niece hasn’t looked so happy in a long while. The wedding was fun and we didn’t get home until late.

    DH is not feeling as well as I wish and was not willing to attend the wedding. It was the right choice for him. I hope he will be able to see our niece and her new husband in the near future.

  • csofledcsofled Member Posts: 2,857 Member Member Posts: 2,857 Member
  • kymaraikymarai Member, Premium Posts: 2,536 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,536 Member
  • cityjaneLondoncityjaneLondon Member Posts: 8,922 Member Member Posts: 8,922 Member
    Rori - Haircut great! :D

    Katla - Happy for you! <3

    Of course, DH did not sleep well last night. In fact, hardly at all. I could hear movements, sounds etc, but I decided to ignore it. He always has problems sleeping when he is seeing his daughters. Plus he said he was worrying about the bus ride and getting lunch. :| In a way, that made it easier for me to decide not to join them as I don't want to be his saviour. ;)
    I made a couple of suggestions for lunch, but everywhere is booked up online. I don't think he will have trouble finding somewhere if he rings up, or there are loads of informal places. I know he will be fine once they have met up. They should be together now. <3
    I will have my solo treat, Curry Laksa. :p

    Did a good morning's editing.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • okiewoman510okiewoman510 Member, Premium Posts: 1,108 Member Member, Premium Posts: 1,108 Member
    Flea - I'm so sorry. Hugs for you and prayers for you and all your medical team. Lean on us to vent whenever you need to.

    Okie in the TX Hill Country
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 19,027 Member Member Posts: 19,027 Member
    My health:
    So I most likely have breast cancer. It has been a whirl wind week. I have had a lump for a while, but I am normally lumpy, and tend to have lipomas all over the place (have had a bunch, like more than a dozen, removed from my arms), and I have a verified lipoma in my left breast, so I didn't really think much about it. But then it started feeling different from the lipoma, and it started hurting. Like sometimes a lot -- need pain medication and heat kind of hurt.

    So last week, I went to the doctor. Stupidly, because I had a lump, I couldn't go directly to the mammogram. She felt it, and said, "Not good." So she ordered the mammogram and an ultrasound. I had those on Tuesday this week, I guess -- I really can't keep it straight in my head right now. (Maybe I am more stressed than I think.) So not just the lump I know about, which looked positively ferocious on the US, but at least two others, and likely many more "lesions." I could see them all, and knew it wasn't good. The radiologist came in after looking at it and just came out with it -- likely malignant cancer. But not in my lymph nodes that they can see from the US.

    Today I had an MRI and Monday morning I am scheduled for an US biopsy. Then we move on from there.

    My dad had breast cancer and carries the BRCA gene, so this is not unexpected. In some ways, it's a relief because I don't have to keep wondering when it is going to hit.

    I haven't yet told anyone, not my husband or my mother, not anyone. I just don't have the energy to have to deal with their reactions. I've already told some of you that my husband is a narcissist, so this will all turn out to be somehow about him, and right now, I want to concentrate on me. He also has a big trip (not work related) scheduled for the week after next that he has been putting off for a year, and I don't want to spoil that for him.

    Evidence of his narcissism? He knew I went to the doctor and had a mammogram this week but he hasn't once asked how it was. He knows about the lump. He, um, has felt it. :blush: I'm glad he hasn't asked because I don't want to tell him, but it is also disappointing that he hasn't asked. But it's fine.

    I really am okay. My NP called me the afternoon of the mammogram and US. I didn't hear my phone ring, but she left a detailed message. She was really sweet and just wanting to make sure I was okay and that I follow up with everything. I wrote a message back through mychart assuring her that I am fine. Really. Just tired.

    You should have seen my face after the MRI!!! I didn't know how I was going to keep that from everyone. But I ran an errand on the way home and kept rubbing out the marks on my face, and although I was a little red, when I did get home, I was able to stay busy and ignore everyone, so no one saw it!

    Sigh. Just tired.

    Willamette Valley, OR

    Big hugs!
  • LisaInArkansasLisaInArkansas Member Posts: 275 Member Member Posts: 275 Member
    Flea - I'm so sorry for the news--don't hesitate to vent here, we can at least help lessen some of the emotional burdens, hopefully. I completely understand why you didn't want to tell your husband. Sometimes, this kind of information gives us strength when we hold onto it for ourselves. I've ALWAYS said I'd rather be the one in the hospital bed. Not because I want to be sick, but because it is much, much harder for the person sitting, waiting, not knowing what is going on. Keeping it from him when it's not necessary or helpful that he knows is a kindness, actually. Your description of your husband reminded me of an old friend of my birth family who, on the news of my divorce, all she could say was, "You're so selfish, and didn't even think about how this affects my life!"

    Katla - The wedding sounds wonderful, so glad you were able to attend.

    Bread dough rising on the stove, one full batch for cinnamon rolls as well as the 24 shaped rolls that I shaped and flash froze on Monday after their first proof. I'm timing to see how long first rise takes, as they have to thaw out before they'll rise.

    Woke up feeling better than I have in a while, so taking advantage of the energy I've got while it stays with me.

    Love y'all,
    Lisa in AR
  • pipcd34pipcd34 Member Posts: 12,382 Member Member Posts: 12,382 Member
  • Peach1948Peach1948 Member Posts: 2,213 Member Member Posts: 2,213 Member
    Rori: You are a beautiful woman! You have been through so much and deserve to be treated!

    Flea: Prayers for you as you go through this time in your life!

    Carol in GA
  • Anniesquats100Anniesquats100 Member Posts: 676 Member Member Posts: 676 Member
    Flea hugs for you!
  • cityjaneLondoncityjaneLondon Member Posts: 8,922 Member Member Posts: 8,922 Member
    DH texted me to say they are walking back here to say hello! Uuuurrrrrgggghhhh! :o
    Mad dash to tidy, wash up etc etc then dry shampoo my hair and put face on. I had been lounging around ignoring everything. They will be here in 10 minutes.
    At least he thought to tell me. I hate surprises! :p

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
    edited June 11
  • barbiecatbarbiecat Member Posts: 14,805 Member Member Posts: 14,805 Member

    :)Michele, Now you know what to get for PJ--forget the big expensive toys and just buy books.

    :)Rori, the new hairstyle is beautiful

    :)Katla, Glad you are having a good time with your family

    <3Heather, I hate surprise guests, too.

    <3 Barbie in NW WA
    edited June 11
  • Peach1948Peach1948 Member Posts: 2,213 Member Member Posts: 2,213 Member
    KLVB44: Welcome to a great group of women. Please tell us a bit about your self and what you would like to be called! I will be 73 in August and there are several of us in our 70's.

    Carol in GA
  • Poerava14Poerava14 Member Posts: 895 Member Member Posts: 895 Member
    Flea: Sending waves of healing energy your way. Grab care and compassion wherever, whenever you can. Here's to you getting on the path back to radiant good health. 🤗🤗🤗
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