WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY 2021
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Hi Gals,
I kind of think of life in chapters, and it’s a change in chapters for me, my housemate Dylan who moved in on Halloween moved out this weekend. Dylan is a very nice 26 year old guy, who I worked with when I was the gardener at the children’s camp. When pandemic hit we both lost our jobs and then in October he got asked to move off the camp property (he was the caretaker, but there was a friend of a manager that needed a place to live so the friend got the job) Dylan moved into my guest room and it was a delight for both of us.
We have become great friends, love to cook together, debate politics, religion, relationships… just a great relationship. His girlfriend and a mutual friend of ours have stayed in a “pod” through the pandemic. His girlfriend’s apartment lease is up so they found an apartment in Sacramento (about 1 -1.5 hour drive from me) it is in a less expensive area. He works remote, and she will commute for a while and job hunt.
Curbing my eating has been hard, I cooked 2-3 nights a week and Dylan cooked 2-3 nights; a night of do your own thing, and then often he would bring in dinner or take me out once a week. I managed to not gain any pandemic weight but have never gotten down to where I want to. So this chapter change of going back to doing my own cooking all the time is a re-commitment to logging… This first day is hard, there are a lot of leftovers that need to be measured before chowing down! LOL There are some new favorites that I will be making and measuring more carefully, he has a bit of a heavy hand with the oil…
Having 3 close friends, my 2 god kids, nephew and his girlfriend, that are all under 32 years young are such a blessing, there is always new outlooks, new music, new slang….. I love it.
Smiles, Kim in Northern California
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We are home, decided to drive home instead of heading to the coast today. Hotel living for more than 4 nights is hard on us! My photos just prove I need to lose some weight, but I had a wonderful time! Lee and I got to get to know Athena, and we hugged, last night, she gave a kiss on my cheek. *heart melts* I have fallen head over heels for this sweetheart! Next month I get to visit for 3-4 days after my visit with my sisters. Excited to just help son, cook some dinners, and babysit!
Hugs Rebecca4 -
For me, it's more ... let go of the things that aren't "mine" to change or do something about. Those things that I just fuss about. Those things about which I think, the world would be a better place if ...
Lately I find myself being easily distracted by things that take me away from my 2021 focus: accomplishing most of the things on my To Do list.
Part of it is feeling tired and lazy.
Part of it is not breaking the tasks down. I look at something that's going to take me a while to do ... and ignore it.
So I'm trying to break the next task on my list down into short "bites" so I can focus better.
M in Oz4 -
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I home to catch-up tomorrow. I am ready for rest this evening.
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grandmallie wrote: »Morning ladies
Well I paid off credit card bill ,hospital bill,waiting to hear back from window company and pay them.off and paid for my cremation..feels good to get that all taken care of..now all i have to do is change my.mortgage to bi weekly and will save a bunch there.
Feels good to be able to get that done..
I did wake up with bed spins,just laid my head down until it passed,the drs appt with neuro opthamologist cant come soon enough
I hope you feel better soon.0 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »I got 2.5 hours of exercising yesterday plus at least 40 min of cleaning but weight is up.
metabolism is WAY DOWN since menopause, and I can't increase exercise exponentially at present.
I seem to burn not much more than 1200 calories per day average.
which I don't manage to stay below...weight is up maybe. a solid kilo from a year ago.
That looks like maintaining to me!
When I have gained and lost weight over the past 35 years it's been anywhere from 10 kgs to 30 kgs.
I can gain 1 kg in a day of water weight if I do a longish bicycle ride.
M in Oz
It's been a very slow upward creep for a while. I was 56 k max about 5 years ago. today 63k so more than + 10 lbs. During a talk one day at a café with women of all different heights, small women like me and very tall dutch women we agreed that the tall-ies can gain 6k and one can hardly see it and it's very noticeable on the small-ies. Of course there are worse things in life, but since that is part of the main reason for this website it seems fair to talk about.
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Still here! Weekend busier than I thought it was going to be. Saturday was a morning birthday party, afternoon family reunion, evening other side of the family reunion. Sunday had a graduaton party. I had a hard time with my intent of "just popping in for a few minutes" to each event. Catching up after a year and a half of not seeing people; I lingered at all of them. But it was wonderful.
Happy birthdays to Karen and Katla!
I am enjoying all of the pics of the grands! Beautiful children and all getting so big! Karen, your grand daughter! Such intensity!
Pip- Glad YOgi is okay! Love the new light fixture!
Kiz- My heart breaks for your niece and grand niece! What a horrible experience to go through. I do know that the foster care systems in the US really try to place the children back with their families. Sometimes it is not the mom or dad, but a grandparent or other relative. AND, I know it sounds odd, but my heart also goes out to the dad. I am sure he regrets his actions (and most likely regretted it as soon as he did it). Shaking a baby is an adults temper/frustration getting the best of them. It is so hard in this "time" of social media portraying "perfect" parents/parenting, when there really needs to be a voice or campaign out there telling people that frustration is a HUGE part of the parent/caregiver life. IT IS OKAY TO PUT CRYING BABIES IN THEIR CRIB, CLOSE THE DOOR, AND WALK AWAY!! Let them cry and pull your self together. I am sending prayers/ good vibes to baby, and family as they navigate through this hard time!
Flea and Julie- You both are in my thoughts daily as you deal with your health/cancer issues! Hugs to you both!
Rita- Sending hugs and good juju your way!
Barbie- Love hearing of your gardening success!
Rebecca- Your trip sounds wonderful! My grandsons took to their grandpa immediately and would most times give me a glance or quick hug on their way to fawn over him. I am glad he has that with them. I think it helps him for that "bond". For me, the bond was formed at birth. lol Now, I know, because Tim would do anything for me or for those boys; if I say I want to go visit or send a package- no matter how tight money is, he will find a way to make it happen.
Well, kids are arriving in a few minutes. It is Farm Week. I have a couple of "farm/garden" invitations set up for the kids to play with. I also have the six year old with me this week. I am preparing myself for a week of non-stop chatter. lol
ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)
Thank you, my health issue at present is very minor, but thank you for your thoughts. Farm week sounds fun! They must love it!
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Getting close to finishing the first edit of my memoir.
Excited!
It will be called THEREFORE I AM, as a follow up to the first volume, ME I AM.
I will give it one more read through before I typeset. Then it's a blurb and cover. I should have it all done by the autumn. Maybe sooner.
I've been debating with myself about getting a more public profile. I really hate social media, apart from this thread, so I'm not sure what to do. I would like to get it out to the right people, but I haven't been prepared to play the social media game. A quandary. I feel ready to step out, but in an appropriate way. When I wrote my children's books, I had the professional teams to do it all and it was before the days when you had to pimp yourself about. I am not averse to publicity, it's necessary, but I'm not sure I am up to Twitter and Instagram, YouTube and a big Facebook push. In fact, it makes me break out in a sweat at the thought.
Last time I tried the standard media with no luck. Oh well, I have to get it finished first.
Still beautiful weather. I used my new fan last night for the first time. Lovely.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE
I'm sure others here have more expertise and experience than me. My 2 cents.
A pseudonym or other variation of your name can help develop social media without exposing oneself too much, but it's probably too late since you already have some recognition. Just an idea : I would suggest, if you don't like social media using it ONLY for professional "persona" and not mix professional and personal. For example if you go on Facebook/twitter use your real name (since that is the one that you are known by) but if you feel tempted to want to share with lovely family, kids, etc, consider using a different pseudonym for your personal accounts. The privacy functions are always changing and its hard to know what friends of friends, for example, can see on a same account. LINKEDIN is much more only professional, but I think it tends to be more for connecting with people in the same field, whereas you likely want to offer some connection with readers. If you have a young mentee who wants to help develop social media presence that could help. How to navigate this ever-changing tech world. My dad, young newlywed professional, living briefly in the very early 50s in NYC, with my mom, they didn't have a landline and didn't feel the slightest need for one, but his colleague told him something to the effect that he, as a young professional, should have one. (like it didn't look good not to have one).
You could try just one social media platform to start. Instagram seems to be highly popular and you can have posts automatically posted onto Facebook so it's a twofer, but I (like much of my/our generation) am more comfortable with Facebook, because there is much more text, and less images. I read Facebook often and "like" some political or some other posts and post occasionally on my personal page, cause often I have little to say in public: maybe 20 or 30 posts per year? I totally avoid agressive arguments and sometimes erase them if the conversation gets touchy on my page (whether with me or people squatting my page to argue- very rare for me, since I'm not too active, but it happens). I think with Facebook you need to post 1x a week, and possibly like others posts (and ideally comment) to keep your profile/posts showing up in the algorithms.
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"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: church, council meeting.
Bonus: Walked around Azalea Park during concert, Freddie’s.
Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, make whey lemon pie filling, call R, follow up minutes question with Doreen, reconcile Medicare part B statements, figure out how to see what’s using all our mobile data, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, fire district: drop off cookies, transcribe district volunteer forms, research NFPA, grant NIMS requirements, ongoing: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, Monday confer with Susan and Rhonda about interest for serving on next board, likewise Lee skills/tasks, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Nothing but You, Do Your Thing, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick; practice dances: One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat),); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
Jump back July:
18-Let go of the small stuff and focus on the things that matter: can’t see the big picture for the punctuation ;{
19-If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it: instead of ugly bulges, they’re reserves of energy to be USED!
Belated best birthday wishes to Karen!
Pip I like your choice but how the heck are you going to get up there to switch them out?
Heather “champagne and brulee cheesecake” sounds delightful! Great pic!
Kiz, thanks! Wow you weren’t kidding when you said these weren’t cheap. Will wait til after September bloodwork and appointment to decide what to do, but this might help me persuade Dr. to let me go off the statins for a test period. https://www.testsymptomsathome.com/index_pol.asp#upgrade Oh Kiz, just read about your great grand nephew. Prayers for you, your niece and grand niece and ggn. No contact with social work before placing in foster care, that IS so messed up.
Welcome @pegss0115! You posted just fine. My best tip is to get a food scale and weigh not measure your food. It’s a real eye-opener, as is logging every bite, lick or sip.
Beth
Cecil, his coat is gorgeous!
Rebecca “…we watched her get spun up on sugar!”
Katla best birthday wishes one day early! Hope you have extra fun
My BFF would have been 72 on the 17th. Miss her.
Julie I think crowns should have a lifetime guarantee, not just the price but the misery… That is a lot of exercising and cleaning. Well done!
Kylia I’m not usually a fan of low- or fat-free, most make up the flavor with sugar. BUT I do like Tillamook’s reduced fat sourcream and Fage’s fat free Greek Yoghurt, it almost tastes like cream cheese to me IMHO a little bit of real butter is better than any amount of margarine. Avoid it like the plague.
Kelly “there really needs to be a voice or campaign out there telling people that frustration is a HUGE part of the parent/caregiver life. IT IS OKAY TO PUT CRYING BABIES IN THEIR CRIB, CLOSE THE DOOR, AND WALK AWAY!! Let them cry and pull yourself together.” True and compassionate.
Carol, chocolate and nuts are two of my many weaknesses.
Barbie I’ve harvested 3 small baby zucchini’s from the plant in a pot on our porch. It is so satisfying to prepare food that grew here rather than boughten!
Dithering about possible August trip to Skye Terrier Specialty in Colorado. Would be $$pendy. Might be better to see how finances stretch to our new mortgage payment, refinanced to pay off in 10 years, and even perhaps put off changing vehicles… it’s hard to be a grownup :laugh:
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
July: leaner/stronger/kinder than June.2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
daily: sit with Joe: 18, weigh/wii: 17/0/0; steps>6701=6894, vits=15.75, log=18, CI<CO=16, CI<250<CO=16, Tumble=12, Shadow=15, mfp=17, outside=22, up hill=18, clean 10=7.
wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=. Wed:TC=2 PW=1. Thurs: Fri:TC=3. Sat:PW=3. rX x4=3.
wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/4: 140.7 7/11: 142.9 grr! 7/18: 141.8 7/25: 7/31:
mnthly: board mtg=1, grant=, 21 plan=, waist=42.0
bonus: AF=10 play= sew=
I think they say crowns are supposed to last 10 years, which is already not much.0 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »bananasandoranges wrote: »I got 2.5 hours of exercising yesterday plus at least 40 min of cleaning but weight is up.
metabolism is WAY DOWN since menopause, and I can't increase exercise exponentially at present.
I seem to burn not much more than 1200 calories per day average.
which I don't manage to stay below...weight is up maybe. a solid kilo from a year ago.
That looks like maintaining to me!
When I have gained and lost weight over the past 35 years it's been anywhere from 10 kgs to 30 kgs.
I can gain 1 kg in a day of water weight if I do a longish bicycle ride.
M in Oz
It's been a very slow upward creep for a while. I was 56 k max about 5 years ago. today 63k so more than + 10 lbs. During a talk one day at a café with women of all different heights, small women like me and very tall dutch women we agreed that the tall-ies can gain 6k and one can hardly see it and it's very noticeable on the small-ies. Of course there are worse things in life, but since that is part of the main reason for this website it seems fair to talk about.
I'm 5'6" (167 cm) and maintaining for me is when my weight remains within a 5 kg range. I've been in the same 5 kg range for about 2 years now. I'm currently right in the middle of the range. I'd like to drop to the bottom of the range ... and then out of the range!
But so far all I've done is to bob up and down in the range.
M in Oz2 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »MACHKA yay for work at home, sorry for the 2nd wave!
RITA you sound wise and calm!
TINA who is the pop singer? Do you have a teen or pre-teen handy?
Thank you Bananas! I’m doing walking meditation, reading self help books ( just finished No Mud No Lotus and starting the Silva Mind Control Method. I also read How to Talk to Crazy. These are helping my depression, stress, and anxiety. I have also downloaded an app called Balance, that is offering a one year free subscription. The meditations are only 3 minutes long so easily doable! (I’m on day 5 of 10 beginner). I have been to therapists in the past and don’t really want to start again so trying the self help version first. Working so far, been a month so going in the right direction!
RvRita up to pg 50
MEDITATION AND THERAPY
hi Rita, I'm all for going to therapists if it works, but though I've often been helped with a few sessions or more, I've also very often been disappointed and found it ok, but not VERY helpful after a few weeks. Education level here is good, but I think the quality of training here in that area, is not at as good a level as in the usa. LOT'S of people are still into psychoanalysis here, and behavioural therapy is almost NEW here. So serious innovative and subtle approaches are really less common here. I think really a mix is good: meditation, health stuff (eating exercise, etc), self-help and - for me- occasional therapy if one finds a good match as a therapist. I read lots of Thich Nhat Hahn. Are you tempted to visit one of the mediation centers? They tend to have lots of "sanghas" (community of meditators exchanging together "locally"), as community is a major emphasis of Plum Village approaches. I'm sure I first went to some local "sangha" meetings to meditate and talk for a few years before visiting Plum Village and so on. I really liked the meetings for about 2 years. After that it felt too chatty for me, and I prefer Insight Meditation (a sort of vipassana meditation), which is much less chatty- (even a bit lonely - balance is good!)2 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »cityjaneLondon wrote: »Getting close to finishing the first edit of my memoir. Excited!
It will be called THEREFORE I AM, as a follow up to the first volume, ME I AM.
I will give it one more read through before I typeset. Then it's a blurb and cover. I should have it all done by the autumn. Maybe sooner.
I've been debating with myself about getting a more public profile. I really hate social media, apart from this thread, so I'm not sure what to do. I would like to get it out to the right people, but I haven't been prepared to play the social media game. A quandary. I feel ready to step out, but in an appropriate way. When I wrote my children's books, I had the professional teams to do it all and it was before the days when you had to pimp yourself about. I am not averse to publicity, it's necessary, but I'm not sure I am up to Twitter and Instagram, YouTube and a big Facebook push. In fact, it makes me break out in a sweat at the thought.
Last time I tried the standard media with no luck. Oh well, I have to get it finished first.
Still beautiful weather. I used my new fan last night for the first time. Lovely.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE
I'm sure others here have more expertise and experience than me. My 2 cents.
A pseudonym or other variation of your name can help develop social media without exposing oneself too much, but it's probably too late since you already have some recognition. Just an idea : I would suggest, if you don't like social media using it ONLY for professional "persona" and not mix professional and personal. For example if you go on Facebook/twitter use your real name (since that is the one that you are known by) but if you feel tempted to want to share with lovely family, kids, etc, consider using a different pseudonym for your personal accounts. The privacy functions are always changing and its hard to know what friends of friends, for example, can see on a same account. LINKEDIN is much more only professional, but I think it tends to be more for connecting with people in the same field, whereas you likely want to offer some connection with readers. If you have a young mentee who wants to help develop social media presence that could help. How to navigate this ever-changing tech world. My dad, young newlywed professional, living briefly in the very early 50s in NYC, with my mom, they didn't have a landline and didn't feel the slightest need for one, but his colleague told him something to the effect that he, as a young professional, should have one. (like it didn't look good not to have one).
You could try just one social media platform to start. Instagram seems to be highly popular and you can have posts automatically posted onto Facebook so it's a twofer, but I (like much of my/our generation) am more comfortable with Facebook, because there is much more text, and less images. I read Facebook often and "like" some political or some other posts and post occasionally on my personal page, cause often I have little to say in public: maybe 20 or 30 posts per year? I totally avoid agressive arguments and sometimes erase them if the conversation gets touchy on my page (whether with me or people squatting my page to argue- very rare for me, since I'm not too active, but it happens). I think with Facebook you need to post 1x a week, and possibly like others posts (and ideally comment) to keep your profile/posts showing up in the algorithms.
Also, the thing with most social media is that you can use it how you want to use it. There are settings. Yes, you need to revisit them periodically, but for example you can set Facebook up to see what you want to see or be part of what you want to be part of.
When people say they don't like Facebook or other social media because they are seeing things they don't want to see, that's because they haven't made use of the settings.
Social media is just a tool.
For me, it's a tool to keep in touch with family and friends and to stay informed about cycling in my area and around the world, plus a few other activities and events I'm interested in.
For others, it can be a tool to promote something or to create an online presence.
Use it the way you want to.
Now that I've graduated, I have set myself up in LinkedIn ... very slowly and cautiously. I'm still finding my way around it. One thing I have discovered is that you can link yourself to educational institutions, organisations or businesses so Heather, for example, could link herself to bookstores, youth mental health organisations (if the book is applicable in that area), etc.
I suspect that Instagram will be next for me ... but probably not till 2022.
M in Oz2 -
OregonMother wrote: »Hanging in there. At work today, and so far feeling great.
I will be getting my hair cut in the next day or two in anticipation of losing it. Here is what I will look like. My family likes it -- they say it looks like me 5-6 years ago.
Heading out for a walk. Everyone take care.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
That's a lovely picture. My stepmother had lovely wigs with style. She was very appearance focused (I know you are not) and was a life long dark-haired brunette and she had this lovely auburn wig I remember meeting her wearing. Thoughts to you in this step.1 -
I have next to no knowledge about this and no experience. That's upsetting about that last baby. This system sounds pretty messed up. Great that you adopted your son.dlfk202000 wrote: »Anniesquats100 wrote: »Kiz I hope the poor baby finds a good home! So sad.
Annie in Delaware
Thank but I've done foster care as a foster parent and it's a terrible system. Many of the foster parents actually have like 6 kids and do it for the money which is laughable because they don't give you enough money to pay for a child and their typical needs. Being a baby he may have a better shot at a decent temporary home. Obviously we will work to get the baby back with the mom. She didn't do anything and wasn't involved. It isn't like on going neglect or abuse it was a one time thing by dad while she was gone shopping. Even if there was something earlier she had no idea the baby is only 2 months old and can't communicate.
She is willing to do whatever they want to get her son back. I think though the social worker is pushing them around because they don't know what they can do or can't do and aren't used to dealing with government.
I don't know anything about Alabama's DHR system but here in Florida parent do have rights.
we were foster parents for a while but dealing with the system here was crazy. We only took babies so we didn't get many placements because they had their favorite families that they placed with instead. Our worker kept saying she thought we only wanted fost/adopt placements. No, we would take either. Every visit she said the same thing. We did adopt our son(our first placement-relinquished at birth by both teen parents)- wanted to adopt another one but we were told we were on the wrong list each time. We stopped when I was told I would have to give up my daycare license(my full time employment). I couldn't do both any more. We went two years with no placements and no way I could give up my job for maybe getting a placement.
One baby the system gave the mom a choice- go into rehab and take the baby with her or go to jail. Of course she took the baby with her. A few months later, he was placed in another home, instead of coming back to us.
Debbie
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