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Congratulating undereating
Replies
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I've seen that before. With one person, it was most of their daily calories.scarlett_k wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »
With that said, there is a lot of eating disorder folks on this site and many of them stay off the forums. If it bothers you, why not just unfriend them?
Aditionally, if you suspect another member of having an eating disorder you can also report it (through private message) to one of the staff memembers and they can look into it. Thats nova, betty, or durden at this time, but an updated list can always be found here: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest
What about alcohol abuse? Certainly seen a few people with serious problems. I suspect that doesn't fall into their remit sadly.2 -
I've seen that before. With one person, it was most of their daily calories.scarlett_k wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »
With that said, there is a lot of eating disorder folks on this site and many of them stay off the forums. If it bothers you, why not just unfriend them?
Aditionally, if you suspect another member of having an eating disorder you can also report it (through private message) to one of the staff memembers and they can look into it. Thats nova, betty, or durden at this time, but an updated list can always be found here: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest
What about alcohol abuse? Certainly seen a few people with serious problems. I suspect that doesn't fall into their remit sadly.
The hopeful side of me thinks at least they’re logging it. And it might bring them to some kind of Ah Ha! moment.
But my cynical side is pretty sure they’ll just look for some extra vitamins to fill in a few gaps.0 -
scarlett_k wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »If it is under 1000 calories and you complete the diary it doesn't show up in the news feed. So how will anyone know.
I know this because I accidentally clicked complete diary. It showed a warning and it didn't show up in the news feed
I occasionally am too low to get the warning.
And I just move on. I don’t worry about it. Mostly because my loss is a fairly even 1.75 lb/week and I feel fine. And MFP doesn’t have a disabled setting so I have to guess at a somewhat lower NEET or whatever the term is.
But ya. I came here to make this same observation.
If they close their diary and it’s too low, we don’t get a message to click “like”
I do have one under eater on my friends list and generally we (the people they are friends with) try and encourage that person in their journey to eat enough. They are appreciative of the support. If they fought against it I would not be their friend.
I'm not really talking about being under that bare bones minimum really, I'm talking about eating a few hundred under to half of what MFP allocates someone, which is still undereating imho.
For example my calorie goal at the moment is around 2600 and if I ate 1300 I would be undereating. I'd feel very rough and lethargic in a short amount of time. Yet there is a culture of congratulating a "great under" (or whatever other nauseating term) when... well... it isn't great! It's encouraging people in their unsustainable eating habits to get the weight off fast but ultimately put it back on because they can't stick to such over restriction.
But I've learned from the comments here that many (most?) people don't look at people's diaries like I do. It's probably just an unfortunate coincidence that people are encouraging these eating habits unawares.
I’m sitting here after midnight eating an ice cream sundae cup because I was 700 calories below goal after dinner. So this is my third after dinner snack. (Mandarin orange and crackers were the other two)
(editing to add the ounce of peanuts I forgot about)
In the old days I probably would have just gone to bed. And then binged tomorrow.
Point being, I feel kind of icky when people congratulate me for coming in under my goal.
I have a habit of forgetting to eat. (Which leads to binging I have learned) So to me congratulations for being under goal are like congratulating a fish for swimming all day.
But I get why people do it.
I don’t. But I will congratulate people for logging in streaks. That’s something I find meaningful.6 -
The assumption here is that people are following the same guidelines/calorie setup as you are.
I do not.
I follow TDEE and set my calories for that....but
My fitbit is sync'd in too...so it adds calories to my total.
I will often complete my diary and it will be "under my calorie goals" but I hit TDEE goal....
So if someone likes it or congrats me it's fine..I am not under eating...2 -
i used to look at peoples diaries. it wasnt uncommon for me to unfriend someone if i thought they were PURPOSELY under eating. which, usually it would be their own comments (usually multiple comments) that would make me look at their diaries to begin with...
in general though, i just dont look at peoples diaries. its one of those things i dont care about.
And I think part of that reason is due to my OWN issues. my metabolism is truly and comfirmably (is that a word? lol) way lower than any chart would ever indicate. so theres that fact alone. then im on a medication that has all but taken away my appetite. so.. i simply CANT eat much. i have random good days where i do. those are nice lol im under my doctors care. check in every week. blood work every month. Glad we have awesome health insurance LMAO and my friends know all that. and can see my diary, though i have the automatic posts turned off. i do have my diary closed to the mfp public though, just because i dont want to seem like a hypocrite in what i advise others to do vs what it (would appear to others) that I am doing, you know? And I kind of feel bad for doing that because i try to be open and transparent but thats my own ... i dunno. whatever.
back to OP
While I don't know that I have ever personally SEEN it, probably because I don't encourage it in any way or get involved with people who I think have disordered thoughts around the matter, I could see MFP being used by those to encourage each other with those disordered thoughts. What better place, really? you can see your friends food (even if they cant close their diary, you can still go to it and see it). their exercise. you can post to each others walls. send messages (if you are friends). post photos on your wall (once you figure out how- they dont make it intuitive and you cant from a PC). its totally separate from the rest of your social media- so you dont have to worry about anyone you are hiding it from seeing it (and thats a large part of eating disorders, is the secrecy). So yeah. I could see it. not in mainstream MFP, but I'd bet dollars to donuts theres a lot out there that are not using it as intended.
even before i made my settings so that it did not post when i closed my diary- when i did close it but only had 1000 or 1100 calories, people would click like or comment good job or whatever. or comment on a specific item i ate. and yes, they know whats going on with me and they probably didnt look (most) or very well may just be glad i made it over 1000 calories that day (and heck, so was i LOL) but still.... its just not much food at all, you know? and theres people out there doing it on purpose. AND working out on top of it? my doctor and husband would both straight up shoot me. im not allowed anywhere near the gym (and i totally agree with that!)5 -
scarlett_k wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »Well, the feed isn't moderated, so that's one thing.
The other thing is that it just says, "So-and-so completed her Food diary and was under her goal" so people just click "Like" because, yeah, that's the main goal of most people - to be under and lose weight.
With that said, there is a lot of eating disorder folks on this site and many of them stay off the forums. If it bothers you, why not just unfriend them?
It's the comments of friends of friends that bother me really, I suppose, so I can't really unfriend someone not on my list. How I wish for a block button! I suppose it's the whole toxic undercurrent that irks me bit clearly I'm in the minority of people who actually enjoy nosing at others' food diaries.
I'm new to this, but isn't that the Ignore option after clicking on their names?2 -
denisekotz wrote: »scarlett_k wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »Well, the feed isn't moderated, so that's one thing.
The other thing is that it just says, "So-and-so completed her Food diary and was under her goal" so people just click "Like" because, yeah, that's the main goal of most people - to be under and lose weight.
With that said, there is a lot of eating disorder folks on this site and many of them stay off the forums. If it bothers you, why not just unfriend them?
It's the comments of friends of friends that bother me really, I suppose, so I can't really unfriend someone not on my list. How I wish for a block button! I suppose it's the whole toxic undercurrent that irks me bit clearly I'm in the minority of people who actually enjoy nosing at others' food diaries.
I'm new to this, but isn't that the Ignore option after clicking on their names?
IMU, "Ignore" in the Community forums only affects whether you see their forum posts. "Block" is the thing that blocks people from PMs, not sure whether "block" affects other timeline/friend-feed functions.1 -
I'm glad you mentioned this. To be honest, I never look at other people's diaries (or tbh, much of what my "friends" post either--sorry!). I knew it wouldn't be of any benefit to me, personally, while also possibly triggering my tendency to compare myself and come up short (in my mind). However, I got curious one day when I noticed one person seemed to be losing weight rather quickly. It seemed she was way undereating and yes-- a lot of people congratulated her. I hope they just hadn't glanced at her diary to see she was eating way under even her calorie goal (less than 1000 some days). Unfortunately, I think there are some people still out there that think losing weight faster by eating as little as possible =better, despite what most people advise on these boards.6
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It's an issue. Used to fight it with explanation(s). Sorted itself out by self weeding and/or friend pruning. Haven't been adding friends for years and haven't been looking at diaries for almost as long unless specifically asked. So no longer an issue for me
I do/did not congratulate under or faintly damn/praise over. "good job logging" is almost as annoying as "good under"... would like to strangle "have a quiet chat with" both... the quality of your logging SHOULD NOT have anything to do with your eating patterns... unless you're commenting on how well I logged that all you can eat sushi buffet, in which case you're right: it WAS good logging!4 -
It's an issue. Used to fight it with explanation(s). Sorted itself out by self weeding and/or friend pruning. Haven't been adding friends for years and haven't been looking at diaries for almost as long unless specifically asked. So no longer an issue for me
I do/did not congratulate under or faintly damn/praise over. "good job logging" is almost as annoying as "good under"... would like to strangle "have a quiet chat with" both... the quality of your logging SHOULD NOT have anything to do with your eating patterns... unless you're commenting on how well I logged that all you can eat sushi buffet, in which case you're right: it WAS good logging!
This kind of thing is also why I just turned off all my newsfeed posts other than weight loss and login streaks. Those are also the only updates I "like" when I take a glance through my feed. I'm a bad friend, I rarely post in the feed, I spend most of my time here.3 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
I've seen that before. With one person, it was most of their daily calories.scarlett_k wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »
With that said, there is a lot of eating disorder folks on this site and many of them stay off the forums. If it bothers you, why not just unfriend them?
Aditionally, if you suspect another member of having an eating disorder you can also report it (through private message) to one of the staff memembers and they can look into it. Thats nova, betty, or durden at this time, but an updated list can always be found here: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team#latest
What about alcohol abuse? Certainly seen a few people with serious problems. I suspect that doesn't fall into their remit sadly.
The hopeful side of me thinks at least they’re logging it. And it might bring them to some kind of Ah Ha! moment.
But my cynical side is pretty sure they’ll just look for some extra vitamins to fill in a few gaps.
I did have an AHA moment about my alcohol consumption back in the 90s thanks to WW.
However, there were lots of other factors at that time that helped me permanently change my relationship with alcohol.7 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »i used to look at peoples diaries. it wasnt uncommon for me to unfriend someone if i thought they were PURPOSELY under eating. which, usually it would be their own comments (usually multiple comments) that would make me look at their diaries to begin with...
in general though, i just dont look at peoples diaries. its one of those things i dont care about. [snip]
Yes, in the case of my two under-eaters, it was the comments that clued me in that they were purposefully undereating.
Interestingly, I accepted FR from both of them after interacting with them on the forums. Apparently they got too much push back here, as they both stopped being on the forums. I suppose they got what they were looking from on their feeds.3 -
LiveOnceBeHappy wrote: »scarlett_k wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »Well, the feed isn't moderated, so that's one thing.
The other thing is that it just says, "So-and-so completed her Food diary and was under her goal" so people just click "Like" because, yeah, that's the main goal of most people - to be under and lose weight.
With that said, there is a lot of eating disorder folks on this site and many of them stay off the forums. If it bothers you, why not just unfriend them?
It's the comments of friends of friends that bother me really, I suppose, so I can't really unfriend someone not on my list. How I wish for a block button! I suppose it's the whole toxic undercurrent that irks me bit clearly I'm in the minority of people who actually enjoy nosing at others' food diaries.
I'm new to this, but isn't that the Ignore option after clicking on their names?
Yeah, you can hide peoples' posts in your news feed but still keep them visible in the forums and still have them on your "friend" list.
In the feed you click that little X in the top right of one of their posts, and this appears:
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Interesting. I've come from Spark, where we had a calorie range to try and stay in for our desired rate of loss. My friends are from Spark too, so when I've seen the "Under calories", I've assumed they were under the max calories needed for a deficit for their targeted rate of loss here (and that they were "in their range for a sensible rate of weight loss"). Never occurred to me that people might be congratulating folks on disordered eating ... :S Yes, that sentence in the feed "could" be worded better I think.3
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I definitely miss the range Spark People had.
I have a difficult time eating enough. So my nutritionist wants me to eat a minimum of 100 carbs daily. So that’s what I have it set at here. My minimum. That I have to hit
And every day MFP wags it’s digital red finger at me. When I actually achieve the goal that’s keeping me healthy and not binging….
Ya. A range definitely would be nice here.4 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
I definitely miss the range Spark People had.
I have a difficult time eating enough. So my nutritionist wants me to eat a minimum of 100 carbs daily. So that’s what I have it set at here. My minimum. That I have to hit
And every day MFP wags it’s digital red finger at me. When I actually achieve the goal that’s keeping me healthy and not binging….
Ya. A range definitely would be nice here.
you can change your macro percentages (even with free)0 -
Oh. I mean a range to aim for.callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »
I definitely miss the range Spark People had.
I have a difficult time eating enough. So my nutritionist wants me to eat a minimum of 100 carbs daily. So that’s what I have it set at here. My minimum. That I have to hit
And every day MFP wags it’s digital red finger at me. When I actually achieve the goal that’s keeping me healthy and not binging….
Ya. A range definitely would be nice here.
you can change your macro percentages (even with free)
It is one thing I definitely miss about Spark People.
I have to hit a minimum of 100 carbs a day. Per my doctor and dietitian.
So when I actually successfully do that, I get scolded by the software here.
It’s annoying. I would much rather have a setting for a range. In my case that would be 100 to 150 carbs a day (I never get as high as 150)
In that case red would perhaps be anything above 150, and below 100.1 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Oh. I mean a range to aim for.callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »
I definitely miss the range Spark People had.
I have a difficult time eating enough. So my nutritionist wants me to eat a minimum of 100 carbs daily. So that’s what I have it set at here. My minimum. That I have to hit
And every day MFP wags it’s digital red finger at me. When I actually achieve the goal that’s keeping me healthy and not binging….
Ya. A range definitely would be nice here.
you can change your macro percentages (even with free)
It is one thing I definitely miss about Spark People.
I have to hit a minimum of 100 carbs a day. Per my doctor and dietitian.
So when I actually successfully do that, I get scolded by the software here.
It’s annoying. I would much rather have a setting for a range. In my case that would be 100 to 150 carbs a day (I never get as high as 150)
In that case red would perhaps be anything above 150, and below 100.
just set it for 150 (figure out whatever percentage of your calories that would be or if you have premium i think you can set it as a number)0 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »
Oh. I mean a range to aim for.callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »
I definitely miss the range Spark People had.
I have a difficult time eating enough. So my nutritionist wants me to eat a minimum of 100 carbs daily. So that’s what I have it set at here. My minimum. That I have to hit
And every day MFP wags it’s digital red finger at me. When I actually achieve the goal that’s keeping me healthy and not binging….
Ya. A range definitely would be nice here.
you can change your macro percentages (even with free)
It is one thing I definitely miss about Spark People.
I have to hit a minimum of 100 carbs a day. Per my doctor and dietitian.
So when I actually successfully do that, I get scolded by the software here.
It’s annoying. I would much rather have a setting for a range. In my case that would be 100 to 150 carbs a day (I never get as high as 150)
In that case red would perhaps be anything above 150, and below 100.
just set it for 150 (figure out whatever percentage of your calories that would be or if you have premium i think you can set it as a number)
That’s the thing though…. I have a problem getting to 100 many days. And must pay attention to that.
Setting it to 150 and ignoring it because it won’t turn red doesn’t solve that problem.2
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