The Vanity Thread / Body Types
Replies
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I don't have time to read an entire article right now, but just going off the title - beauty equating to higher levels of intelligence seems like a fallacy2 -
What if beautiful people are just introverts? Or basically shy, self conscious in their own way? I wonder if a majority of people are self-conscious in some way, no matter how much we perceive them as being beautiful?
Just pondering this a.m.
Yes, people conventionally regarded as beautiful do suffer from serious insecurities just like anyone else in the world. I've seen it firsthand. And then there are people who are conventionally not beautiful by societal standards, who have amazing confidence. This life is a mystery.0 -
Unsafespace wrote: »
I don't have time to read an entire article right now, but just going off the title - beauty equating to higher levels of intelligence seems like a fallacy
Not equating, not the right word. It is often times linked, or it has a high correlation, meaning a beautiful person is much more likely to be intelligent than stupid.0 -
Unsafespace wrote: »
I don't have time to read an entire article right now, but just going off the title - beauty equating to higher levels of intelligence seems like a fallacy
Not equating, not the right word. It is often times linked, or it has a high correlation, meaning a beautiful person is much more likely to be intelligent than stupid.
Men, specifically. The article talks about the effect of attractive men demonstrating more intelligence.
But there is a lot at play going on there, and the article seems to suggest a genetic mechanism for it, but I'm not buying it.
Both intelligence and attractiveness are complex social constructs with an enormous amount of interplay.
There are undeniably distinct advantages for tall, attractive men though, and this is well researched, and it starts when they're quite young. However, you can't actually separate intelligence out from education and performance, so if someone if reasonable genetic intelligence is given more attention, resources and support, then they are down the line going to perform better.
It's the same way that genetics play a huge role in athletic ability, but the month of the year you are born plays a huge role in determining professional athletic success.
For women, being attractive is really a double edged sword and can swing wildly over to the net negative for many of them. For men, the benefits are more predictably positive.
However, as the average body type and demographic in the western world is radically changing, so are social norms, and so are the conventions around what is considered attractive. As has been discussed and demonstrated by the love of "dad bod."
The advantage conferred by being "conventionally attactive" for men will evolve as that convention itself evolves. It's not nearly as static as we've been lead to believe. Especially when we start factoring in multicultural elements.
What's considered attractive is not just biological, it's largely determined by what the dominant culture tells us is attractive. Most women for example express a preference for tall men. That's largely driven by the social judgement they get for being with men who aren't tall and the reward they get for being with tall men. Hence why it's perfectly common for women to be attracted to short men if they are famous or powerful or whatever, because she won't be ridiculed for his height, and will be socially rewarded for dating someone so notable and important.
I had a preference for tall men for a few years when I was young and tremendously insecure. I was totally that chick who wouldn't date anyone under 6" for a time. Then I actually grew up, accomplished things that gave me legitimate self esteem, and stopped giving a flying eff what other people thought about who I was attracted to.
Point being, what we are attracted to is a very dynamic combination of biology, which changes, and social pressures, which also change. So what is attractive can and does change over time.0 -
What if beautiful people are just introverts? Or basically shy, self conscious in their own way? I wonder if a majority of people are self-conscious in some way, no matter how much we perceive them as being beautiful?
Just pondering this a.m.
I'm not sure where I fall on the "beautiful" scale, but I was painfully shy and introverted in high school and I can still be when I'm in an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people. I went to my 10 yr high school reunion in 2003 and was really surprised to find out how many ladies had a serious crush on me but they thought I was stuck up and too cool for school so they never really talked to me.
I was like, "too cool...really?" "I was in honors classes (nerd) and spent my lunch time in the library most of the time."
"Yeah, but you were also super hot with that long blond hair and you played football, ran track, swim team, and hung out with the cheer leading captain."
"Who, Becky?"..."I mean yeah, we grew up down the street from each other."
"Dude...you were one of the coolest guys on campus." "Everyone liked you...nerds liked you, jocks liked you, the rockers in C hall liked you, the skaters liked you...everyone thought you were an awesome dude." "All the chicks were jealous of Becky and we just wanted you to give us the time of day."
Four years of high school, and who knew...not me.1 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »What if beautiful people are just introverts? Or basically shy, self conscious in their own way? I wonder if a majority of people are self-conscious in some way, no matter how much we perceive them as being beautiful?
Just pondering this a.m.
I'm not sure where I fall on the "beautiful" scale, but I was painfully shy and introverted in high school and I can still be when I'm in an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people. I went to my 10 yr high school reunion in 2003 and was really surprised to find out how many ladies had a serious crush on me but they thought I was stuck up and too cool for school so they never really talked to me.
I was like, "too cool...really?" "I was in honors classes (nerd) and spent my lunch time in the library most of the time."
"Yeah, but you were also super hot with that long blond hair and you played football, ran track, swim team, and hung out with the cheer leading captain."
"Who, Becky?"..."I mean yeah, we grew up down the street from each other."
"Dude...you were one of the coolest guys on campus." "Everyone liked you...nerds liked you, jocks liked you, the rockers in C hall liked you, the skaters liked you...everyone thought you were an awesome dude." "All the chicks were jealous of Becky and we just wanted you to give us the time of day."
Four years of high school, and who knew...not me.
I, too, make no claims of being "beautiful" (let others be the judge). Having said that, the part about being painfully shy to the point of not socializing much, to where people think you're too stuck-up to talk to them, is completely relatable.
I made an attempt to go back to college at one point in my life. Did my best to dress well during that time. Got one comment which went something like "too preppy to talk to anyone?"
I'm working on things 🙂. I believe confidence and self esteem is learnable, so it just takes time 😎0 -
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What's considered attractive is not just biological, it's largely determined by what the dominant culture tells us is attractive. Most women for example express a preference for tall men. That's largely driven by the social judgement they get for being with men who aren't tall and the reward they get for being with tall men. Hence why it's perfectly common for women to be attracted to short men if they are famous or powerful or whatever, because she won't be ridiculed for his height, and will be socially rewarded for dating someone so notable and important.
In my case, it's 100% Freudian. The men I find the most attractive have the same physique as dear old dad. Skinny men have never really enjoyed much cultural popularity. Remember those ads in the back of comic books?0 -
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What's considered attractive is not just biological, it's largely determined by what the dominant culture tells us is attractive. Most women for example express a preference for tall men. That's largely driven by the social judgement they get for being with men who aren't tall and the reward they get for being with tall men. Hence why it's perfectly common for women to be attracted to short men if they are famous or powerful or whatever, because she won't be ridiculed for his height, and will be socially rewarded for dating someone so notable and important.
In my case, it's 100% Freudian. The men I find the most attractive have the same physique as dear old dad. Skinny men have never really enjoyed much cultural popularity. Remember those ads in the back of comic books?
Skinny men totally had their day in the 70s, my dad cleaned up as a skinny musician/intellectual back then. Funny, I adore and admire my father, but am very specifically NOT attracted to men who look like him. For example, I cannot, will not, and never have dated a man with a beard. Won't do it.
I was crestfallen when beards became a thing and every single guy had a beard.1 -
I like the average pic... Looks like my hubby. In a certain light you can see a hint of v but no abs. I like a bit of softness!0
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Yeah beards have grown in popularity rather quickly, I remember 10-15 years ago if you had a beard people who look at you weird or they would pass comments such as you look dirty etc.. Nowadays it is the norm.0
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I think I’m happy with my body type, will be happy if I can make it better and a bit more muscular and loose a bit more fat. Other than that I’m quite happy the way I am. Mantra for happiness is to be content what you have and keep working to achieve what you want.👍🏻1
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My mantra for happiness is pockets filled with money. Credit cards work too, as long as they're not in my name.
So to tie my comment into the topic I'd have to say bulging pockets.
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I like a man with some heft.
6’, 200lbs, something like that.
Once past 60, skinny just looks sickly.
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honey_honey_12 wrote: »I like a man with some heft.
6’, 200lbs, something like that.
Once past 60, skinny just looks sickly.
I don't necessarily agree with this. I've treated a lot of older patients and many lean, athletic older men look great.
If someone is a sickly level of skinny, then yes, they're going to look sickly. But plenty of older, vital, healthy men look fantastic.
The thing with really vital, fit, youthful looking older men is that they don't look like older men. You might not register them as over 60 when you see them.0 -
honey_honey_12 wrote: »I like a man with some heft.
6’, 200lbs, something like that.
Once past 60, skinny just looks sickly.
I don't necessarily agree with this. I've treated a lot of older patients and many lean, athletic older men look great.
If someone is a sickly level of skinny, then yes, they're going to look sickly. But plenty of older, vital, healthy men look fantastic.
The thing with really vital, fit, youthful looking older men is that they don't look like older men. You might not register them as over 60 when you see them.
I agree with you. 😊
I posted my personal preference.1 -
I just would like any body type that can fix computer issues, smile, share in the chores, love my dogs like I do, and do handyman type stuff. 1
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honey_honey_12 wrote: »honey_honey_12 wrote: »I like a man with some heft.
6’, 200lbs, something like that.
Once past 60, skinny just looks sickly.
I don't necessarily agree with this. I've treated a lot of older patients and many lean, athletic older men look great.
If someone is a sickly level of skinny, then yes, they're going to look sickly. But plenty of older, vital, healthy men look fantastic.
The thing with really vital, fit, youthful looking older men is that they don't look like older men. You might not register them as over 60 when you see them.
I agree with you. 😊
I posted my personal preference.
You're fully entitled to your personal preference.
I disagree with your statement that men over 60 who aren't husky look sickly. I don't think that's objectively true. Most 6' athletes aren't over 200lbs, and many of them do not look sickly at all after 60.
I was just watching Cobra Kai, and all of the older guys are ~60 and they're looking great.
I'm just saying that there's a whole universe of body types between hefty and sickly skinny. That's all.
If you prefer hefty, by all means, enjoy your personal preference!0 -
In general, aesthetically for women and men I think a fit/sporty physique with a well proportioned upper and lower body is the most appealing. Not overly built muscularity and also, not overly lean or "skinny"...nor overly fluffy. Something that says, I'm active and fit and healthy and I use my body and like to go do fun and active things, but I also like Popeye's Chicken, pizza, and micro-beer and some Netflix in the evening.
As the ladies go, I've always been physically attracted to soccer players for some reason or another...not ironically, my wife is a former collegiate soccer player and rugby player.0 -
Adding a new body type. Paraplegic:
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Unsafe_Space wrote: »Adding a new body type. Paraplegic:
I'm feeling left out now, what about my sexy, sexy crutches. I mean dude, they're red. That's hot.
I have these
https://www.amazon.ca/Ergobaum®-Generation-Ergoactives-Ergonomic-Crutches/dp/B01BKSGV26/ref=zg_bs_6370909011_13/147-3893236-9865148?pd_rd_i=B07Z22QWTK&psc=10 -
honey_honey_12 wrote: »honey_honey_12 wrote: »I like a man with some heft.
6’, 200lbs, something like that.
Once past 60, skinny just looks sickly.
I don't necessarily agree with this. I've treated a lot of older patients and many lean, athletic older men look great.
If someone is a sickly level of skinny, then yes, they're going to look sickly. But plenty of older, vital, healthy men look fantastic.
The thing with really vital, fit, youthful looking older men is that they don't look like older men. You might not register them as over 60 when you see them.
I agree with you. 😊
I posted my personal preference.
You're fully entitled to your personal preference.
I disagree with your statement that men over 60 who aren't husky look sickly. I don't think that's objectively true. Most 6' athletes aren't over 200lbs, and many of them do not look sickly at all after 60.
I was just watching Cobra Kai, and all of the older guys are ~60 and they're looking great.
I'm just saying that there's a whole universe of body types between hefty and sickly skinny. That's all.
If you prefer hefty, by all means, enjoy your personal preference!
I could argue with you but I won’t.
You are paraphrasing me.
Obviously you know more about “it” than I do.0 -
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What if beautiful people are just introverts? Or basically shy, self conscious in their own way? I wonder if a majority of people are self-conscious in some way, no matter how much we perceive them as being beautiful?
Just pondering this a.m.
Thats a great thought, i never considered that0 -
honey_honey_12 wrote: »
I could argue with you but I won’t.
You are paraphrasing me.
Obviously you know more about “it” than I do.
Sorry if I've pissed you off, didn't mean to, just sharing my thoughts based on what you said.0 -
Ah. There's the humble, down-to-earth girl. And all it took to bring her out, was Donald Trump :bigsmile:0 -
honey_honey_12 wrote: »
I could argue with you but I won’t.
You are paraphrasing me.
Obviously you know more about “it” than I do.
Sorry if I've pissed you off, didn't mean to, just sharing my thoughts based on what you said.
It’s cool 😊
I won’t argue with a stranger over my personal feelings that’s all.1 -
What's considered attractive is not just biological, it's largely determined by what the dominant culture tells us is attractive. Most women for example express a preference for tall men. That's largely driven by the social judgement they get for being with men who aren't tall and the reward they get for being with tall men. Hence why it's perfectly common for women to be attracted to short men if they are famous or powerful or whatever, because she won't be ridiculed for his height, and will be socially rewarded for dating someone so notable and important.
In my case, it's 100% Freudian. The men I find the most attractive have the same physique as dear old dad. Skinny men have never really enjoyed much cultural popularity. Remember those ads in the back of comic books?
Skinny men totally had their day in the 70s, my dad cleaned up as a skinny musician/intellectual back then. Funny, I adore and admire my father, but am very specifically NOT attracted to men who look like him. For example, I cannot, will not, and never have dated a man with a beard. Won't do it.
I was crestfallen when beards became a thing and every single guy had a beard.
The 70s might have played their part in forming my taste since I was a teenager then. I'll also admit to liking longer hair on men.
I wouldn't date a man with a beard either. Dad has always been clean-shaven.
The SO decided to grow a beard and I can't tell him how much I hate it. 0
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