Does anyone else feel like they keep getting in their own way?

emgracewrites

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m getting in my own way of my weight gain goals. When I’m stressed out I tend to either eat a lot less or eat all the junk food and nothing healthy. Either option leaves me feeling physically ill, which in turn stresses me out more and it ends up being a vicious cycle to the point where it feels like nothing is ever going to change.

I guess I’m asking for advice on breaking this thought cycle, and looking for some solidarity because right now I feel so alone in this struggle.

88AViva

Hi. I've been there. I used to self sabotage and was 'all or nothing'. It doesn't make the 'Sad' go away. And feeling sick after eating all the things I didn't really want but was just mindlessly distracting myself with, was just not worth it.

I often stressed myself out looking at the big picture of what things should be like and all the things I need to do to achieve that. It can be overwhelming.

It's easier to take it one day at a time. Just portion control, track and note. Work out at least 20 minutes. Update on the challenge. Nothing else.
It's all I do now and it's going well. Less anxiety and pressure as well.
I just weigh myself two or three times a week, not to obsess over numbers but just to know it's going in the right direction.

Give it a try. Perhaps seeing yourself progress daily will keep you going. Don't even need to decide now how much you need to lose or how much time you have. Don't limit yourself with a time frame. Slow and steady is great. Make it easy so it's a whole lifestyle change and not something temporary that is hard to keep going for a long time. It's never as bad as we make it seem in our own heads. Once you just do, the unnecessary stress we put on ourselves fade away.

HoneyBadger302

You're definitely not alone! It's a major struggle for me as well - I'm trying to lose, but also retain as much muscle as I can while gaining strength, so it's a fine balance there.

What ends up happening is I let other stressors take priority, and my personal fitness/weight goals go out the window.

I have had success with a daily critical task list. Sometimes, and in some phases of life, diet or a separate workout may not be on that list - and sometimes it is. Either way, choosing a limited number of critical things to help propel my life forward is HUGE on helping with my stress levels, and also keeps me focused on what is the most important at that time.

I limit the list to 3-5 things each day. On days I am working my f/t job remotely, it is 4-5 things, on days I have to commute it is 3. They can be big or small, usually just small touches that add up to big things. Been at it for just over 6 months at this point, and it has dramatically changed things for me at this point already. I'm excited what a few years will bring.

Health/fitness/weight is making it's way back on the list as I feel I have the mental capacity to add that back in, and other things are rolling along now.

Doing the list also helped me be a bit more forgiving when I wasn't getting it "all" done, because I knew I was still taking care of and touching the really big things each day, and could rest assured the other things would come along when they could be a bigger priority.

Xellercin

The key is to develop healthier coping skills so that your eating doesn't change in response to emotional states.

I never worry about stress making my weight change because I don't respond to stress anymore with changes in my eating. I do the things my therapist has taught me to manage extreme emotional stimulus.

Food is no longer an emotional tool for me.