Obsession With Other People's Opinions

ninerbuff

sollyn23l2 wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

sollyn23l2 wrote: »

DFW_Tom wrote: »

There is nothing wrong with conforming to society's norms. That's just being polite and a good citizen. Behavior in private vs public differs in varying degree for all of us. It is when the desire to be appreciated and accepted by others results in conveying control of self to others that it really becomes a problem. Others with a stronger will, or a bigger following, or just because they are more popular. We see it all the time unless you keep your eyes wide shut.

Politics - Party politics have become so opposed to each other become the average member of each have a need to fit in and denounce the other party's positions. Politics use to be about how to govern. Now it is more about social issues: abortion, immigration, gay rights, gun control and so on.

Social Environment - These days we can pretty much tell what a person's stance will be on issues just by knowing what school they went to or area of the country they live in. There is no good reason for the average citizen of Ft. Worth, TX to be so different in what they view as right and wrong as the average citizen in Austin, TX - other than peer pressure and the desire to fit in.

Commerce - Been to a car dealership lately? It is like they are doing you a favor to allow you to buy from them. Hiring a contractor isn't any better. They'll shoot you an inflated price and the average person will accept it without a detailed proposal or contract just because online reviews have said they are good and reasonably priced. Retailers have never had such an easy time of raising prices as they've enjoyed the last couple of years. Consumers on a whole have ceded control of transactions because they figure that is just how it is.

Apps - Why does a service agreement need to be so many pages long when the key points are easily covered in just a few sentences? Does anyone read it all (besides me)? Does anyone refuse to install something because the Terms of Service is unreasonable?

There are many other examples that all boil down to, "going along to get along." That "Like" button on social media and even these forums are nothing more than an exercise in vanity that serves none of us. I don't want to ignore the opinions of others, but I'm going to think for myself and not let those opinions change my mind without sufficient reason - and reason isn't bothered with much anymore.

There is absolutely something wrong with conforming to societal norms if you find them wrong or not in agreement with your personal ethics. You need to know *why* you believe what you believe. Not just " my daddy said....my mommy said... Republicans said.... Democrats said..." here's the big secret nobody tells you... all that is BS, and they just tell you those things to maintain as much control as they can.

I believe this to an extent. There are instances where I apply conformity. Religion is one of them. I'm an Atheist and practically everyone around me is religious. Of course I'm in disagreement with religious but I'm not going to debate religious people just because they are religious. They can all pray in front of me, praise whatever god they believe in, etc.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

But is that actually conforming to their norms, or passively accepting their way of being? There's a difference. I would consider it conforming if you went to church, said grace, and prayed. I consider it accepting to allow them to do that without interfering.

We're never ever all going to agree on everything and I guess I pick the battle I want to fight. If whatever someone believes really has no direct on me or my family, IDGAF.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 35+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition