Less Alcohol ~ SEPTEMBER 2022 ~ One Day At A Time
Replies
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Alatariel75 wrote: »
Drinking makes me not want to cook.
Drinking makes me lazy and justify take out
Drinking makes me tired, but ironically sleep poorly.
Drinking makes me want to do nothing the next day.
Drinking is wasted calories.
This is all so true for me too. Thanks for the reminders!
Had an easy AF day yesterday, aided by having an activity planned after daycare. That's only day 7 this month for me, so 7 out of 19 days. I need 8 more days to reach my goal which means very few A days left for the month. I will have to choose them carefully. Going to a brewery on Saturday and to a high school reunion on the 30th, so I guess those plus one more are my only A days! I can do it! The key is going to be cooking at home because I love getting a drink when we eat out.
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Alatariel75 wrote: »
But. Drinking is the number 1 cause of my bad decisions on weekends. Not the only cause, but the primary.
Drinking makes me not want to cook.
Drinking makes me lazy and justify take out
Drinking makes me tired, but ironically sleep poorly.
Drinking makes me want to do nothing the next day.
Drinking is wasted calories.
I need to keep telling myself these things! I'm perfectly happy not drinking, can keep all types of alcohol in the house, can be around people without hankering for a drink ( though noted above, I start to cave when they start to be annoying). I sleep better, feel better, make better decisions.
o.
@Alatariel75 This is so me!! I need to read this every weekend! Thanks for posting.
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9/1-9/4 - A
9/5-9/6- 9/7 - AF
9/8-9/9-9/10 - A
9/11- 9/12-9/13 - 9/14-9/15- AF
9/16 - 9/17 -9/18 A
9/19 - 9/21 - AF4 -
AF tonight! I had my faux sparkling rose, and it was a good alternative to the white wine I contemplated. Of course it was in a wine glass!
Happy birthday @dawnbgethealthy!
@Alatariel75 so true about the lazy factor and bad sleep with alcohol - and it being an easy solution to being able to deal with insufferable drunk people!5 -
I feel like I'm regressing in my grief. I suppose it isn't linear and I should expect to take 1 step forward and 2 steps back for awhile. I just want my person back. I drank alone tonight - not proud of it.
9/1-9/13 AF
9/14 A
9/15-9/19AF
9/20 A
Sept totals AF - 18 A - 28 -
Me: "I'm going to have a healthy, alcohol free long weekend"
My brother, 500 miles away: "I feel a disturbance in the force. Better plan an immediate impromptu trip to Al's house!"
Give me strength! Can't wait to see him and his partner, I'll cook so I can control food, but I expect that there will be some drinks on the one night that he and his partner are there. I plan to minimise, they do need to drive back the next day so I can't imagine (*cough*, famous last words) that it will get messy.7 -
I love this group ❤️
I have greatly reduced my drinking since June and had a great month in August with 26 out of 31 AF days. This month I am trying to be mindful and make self care a priority.
9/1-9/7: 7 out of 7 AF
9/8-9/14: 6 AF out 7
9/15: AF
Lots happening here but too long to ramble on about. I hope everyone is well.
9/16: AF
My car has died. I was trying to make it through September with it since so much is going on but it just couldn’t hold on. Car shopping today. The fun never stops!
9/17: AF
9/18: AF
9/19: AF
9/20: AF
My goal at the beginning of this month was to be more mindful and to practice self care. Pppppfffftttt. That has NOT happened. I wasn’t expecting September to be this stressful but getting my parents moved was more work than I thought. And they are just now moving into the new place today and tomorrow. The unpacking, connecting technology and just getting them used to the place is a whole different chapter. They also might kill each other, they’ve been living in a hotel since the 10th. We will overcome though!7 -
@Breathe57103 I am trying really hard to not compare my loss to yours but I lost someone very close 6 months ago. I know what you mean about “just wanting your person back.” I wish there was a step by step manual I could complete about grieving and then not be sad anymore. I think you have a lot of courage.6
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Sept accountability: 7 days AF
Alcohol: 14 days (32 drinks)
Goal: Limit 1-2 glasses per day; 12-16 AF days per month. Aim to drink no more than 2 nights in a row.
9/19 - AF @ book club
9/20 - 2 wine
9/21 - Plan AF @ book club
Going ahead and counting tonight since I have confidence in myself passing on alcohol now at book clubs when we are out at restaurants. 1. Cheap expensive wine does not interest me 2. Others (even if it is just 1 person not drinking) feels like a support network
Monday night I passed on both wine & beer at the Texas Biergarten where our book club met. 2 of us out of the 10 were not drinking. I felt like I was supporting my friend of 30 years whose husband is in a trial now to tackle his rare cancer which the doctors say there is nothing more they can do. She supported me in not drinking when I'm out with friends.
DH home alone Monday night drank 1.5 bottles of nice wine. But Tuesday night we each had 2 glasses with dinner and the 5th glass in the bottle remains in the fridge with the leftover half bottle from Monday night. Baby steps for him.
Tonight is my other book club at mexican restaurant which yes there will be margaritas, wine & beer. The margaritas are hard to pass up during happy hour but actually when I think about it they are not my favorite in any way shape or form so I'm finding them easier to say "no" to when ordering.
Vacation plans Thursday through Sunday!!! No plans to stay AF then but I will track my consumption and report back on Monday.4 -
I shouldn't be proud to be AF for two consecutive days, but here I am, proud to be AF for two consecutive days. I don't know how long I've been in the pattern of almost daily drinking but it's been too long. Really want to find a new normal, which would be: not drinking daily. 8/20 days AF for September.9
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Hi friends,
OK...super insane rough work week (I can't describe). You all inspire me to become a better person, so thanks to all of you!
@Breathe57103, when you are back in your winter residence, do reach out. The weather is getting better and we had a bit of light rain to cool things down. It was really nice tonight, like a breathe of fresh air that you may welcome.
Thank you to @Alatariel75 and I will agree that drinking is wasted calories and we pay the price (zero nutrition) and sometimes it does make me not want to cook too.
Thank you @dawnbgethealthy for posting your uplifting pictures. And Happy Birthday too! Your happy spirit inspires me. Enjoy Vacay! I hope you get to dance and sing down there!
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Drank alone again last night. Very disappointed in myself but at least I came here and held myself accountable. I see my counselor this morning. Hopefully talking things out will get me back on track. I am going to go dump the remaining alcohol in my house.
9/1-9/13 AF
9/14 A
9/15-9/19AF
9/20 -9/21 A
Sept totals AF - 18 A - 3
I want to finish the month AF.8 -
I love this group ❤️
I have greatly reduced my drinking since June and had a great month in August with 26 out of 31 AF days. This month I am trying to be mindful and make self care a priority.
9/1-9/7: 7 out of 7 AF
9/8-9/14: 6 AF out 7
9/15: AF
Lots happening here but too long to ramble on about. I hope everyone is well.
9/16: AF
My car has died. I was trying to make it through September with it since so much is going on but it just couldn’t hold on. Car shopping today. The fun never stops!
9/17: AF
9/18: AF
9/19: AF
9/20: AF
9/21: AF
Rolling total: 20 AF out of 21 (!)
My anxiety is so bad I’ve already been sick this morning (and it’s not a hangover) and i need a mental health day from work. I don’t know what to do.10 -
@Breathe57103 I'm so sorry you've been having a tough time. I can only imagine. Sending you love and strength. Hopefully speaking with the counselor will help you.
@joans1976 I think a mental health day is well within your rights!5 -
AF today. I dumped an almost full large bottle of vodka and the last beer that I had in my house down the drain this morning. Hopefully that will keep me AF through the end of September.
It is suicide awareness month and one of our regional health systems (the one my husband was the chair of the board for when he took his life) is running an "Ask the question" campaign. Studies show that asking the question "are you thinking of suicide?" actually helps prevent suicide (contrary to the fallacy that saying the word suicide to someone who is suicidal will plant a seed in their head.) There have been some major donations raised in my husband's memory to fund this campaign and other suicide prevention measures. I am feeling completely overwhelmed with the constant focus on suicide and have withdrawn from most social situations.
I had a breakthrough with my counselor today. During my previous appointments we had discussed my relationship with my husband, and I had mentioned that he was always the star of the show, and I was the best supporting actress. I accepted that role and was happy in my marriage. I told her now that he is gone, I am tired of being seen as "Gary's widow" and that I just want to be "Theresa." She hit it on the head when she said, "you felt like the supporting actor when he was alive and now you are the supporting actor in his death." In South Dakota it hasn't been easy to just be Theresa since he passed. In Arizona I will have a chance to figure out who I am alone without him.
Sorry for the diatribe. I just wanted to get that out.
9/1-9/13 AF
9/14 A
9/15-9/19AF
9/20 -9/21 A
9/22 AF
Sept totals AF - 19 A - 3
@joans1976 I am so sorry you are dealing with anxiety. I had no idea how debilitating it could be until my husband started dealing with it. Please reach out and talk to someone. I recently started meds for anxiety - they have definitely helped (it's a pretty low dose, but enough to take the edge off.)
@globalhiker I am counting the days. My flight is on October 1st. I'm heading to NM on the 6th to see my son and his family and to go to the Albuquerque Balloon Festival. I hope you are enjoying yoga and finding some balance between work and everything else. I look forward to meeting you one day. We may even have passed by each other at some point at Sprouts, Target, Usery or many other places in our neighborhood. By the way... have you ever been to Board and Batten? It was one of the nearby restaurants my husband and I really enjoyed. Who knows if I will go again as it is a romantic date night kind of place.8 -
Good evening to all of you!
I have been MIA working at the fair. I am not staying as AF as I hoped but still respectable. This is the last weekend for working and we have been put on notice we will be short handed and plan to work 'later' than your normal 11 hour shift. Yikes.
@Breathe57103 thank you for sharing your struggles and breakthroughs. When I read posts like yours it just solidifies my resolve to keep moving forward, try hard not to live in the past.
I can't go back and change the events in my life but I can choose to move forward and dwell less on the past. something that is so hard for me.
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I so appreciate what all of you said this past week. We can and need to be the leaders of our own lives. Maybe you, like me, were always great at leading others (children, students, clients, co-workers, etc.) but I still struggle at leading myself. I go through good periods but then not-so-perfect ones.
We are so busy leading and directing and serving others that at the end of the day, I ask myself, was I a good leader to myself?
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For those of us under extreme stress of any sort, we owe it to ourselves to balance that out with self-care. There are many solutions: outdoors, long walks, massage, spas, calling your best friend and ranting for an hour, unplug, even calling sick and doing a "movie" day or consulting with your medical professional..we are all humans and need to relieve that stress.
I am going to book a massage this weekend and if I can get in a Yoga class, I will. Looking forward to a state of bliss.8 -
Ugh, so the brother visit ended up in gin and wine, and today has followed on with beers (though a lovely, fun day with the hubster). Needing to dedicate myself to a booze free Sat/Sun - hubs is at least committed to a booze free Sun so we have a plan.7
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9/1-9/4 - A
9/5-9/6- 9/7 - AF
9/8-9/9-9/10 - A
9/11- 9/12-9/13 - 9/14-9/15- AF
9/16 - 9/17 -9/18 A
9/19 - 9/21 - AF
9/22- A7 -
Checking in...
17 AF
6 A
I am a work in progress.8 -
I love this group ❤️
I have greatly reduced my drinking since June and had a great month in August with 26 out of 31 AF days. This month I am trying to be mindful and make self care a priority.
9/1-9/7: 7 out of 7 AF
9/8-9/14: 6 AF out 7
9/15-9/21: 7 AF out of 7
9/22: AF
Well I didn’t end up taking a mental health day but I did end up seeing my therapist who forced me to set up some hard boundaries with work notifications (on my computer and phone) and I also punched out an hour early. Obviously, a different job needs to be found. This makes my stomach hurt to think about. But the job I have now makes my stomach hurt too.
Away from work today, helping my parents unpack. They are out of the hotel and in to the condo, all limbs intact thank god. This should be the downswing of the stress of the move
Thanks for listening ❤️8 -
globalhiker wrote: »For those of us under extreme stress of any sort, we owe it to ourselves to balance that out with self-care. There are many solutions: outdoors, long walks, massage, spas, calling your best friend and ranting for an hour, unplug, even calling sick and doing a "movie" day or consulting with your medical professional..we are all humans and need to relieve that stress.
I am going to book a massage this weekend and if I can get in a Yoga class, I will. Looking forward to a state of bliss.
Thank you for all of these suggestions. All things I am working on myself. I forgot to mention in my earlier post that I have deactivated all of my social media accounts (except MFP of course) and it has been so freeing.5 -
@Breathe57103 Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have many support systems in place and many coping mechanisms. I see a therapist once a week and a psychiatrist every six weeks. Currently, my medications are off which is causing a chemical imbalance in my brain and then throw in the stress of a job with no work/life balance, moving my elderly parents and my car dying, I get overwhelmed. Thankfully my therapist is on speed dial and I have medications I can take in truly panicked moments.
I am so sorry for the tough times you are going through. If it helps, I view you as Theresa, a strong woman who is trying to drink less and conquer a Diet Coke habit at the same time!
@lmlmrn You must be exhausted! It seems like this fair has been going on a long time!
@globalhiker You speak the truth. My September goal was to be more mindful and that has not been practiced. I am definitely taking some time out for self care this weekend, even if it’s just to read.
@dawnbgethealthy How ya doin down there? Hope you had a good birthday!5 -
@joans1976
Your work life sounds awful. Get your niggly agitator there dealt with by HR, or change jobs. Life is too short for an all consuming horrible work situation. We spend whatever we make, so even if it is a better job with less pay it is well worth the change. Change is scary for sure, but without change there is no improvement.
@globalhiker
I have a massage booked for this morning : - )
Not that I am feeling any sort of stress here in Zhihua, but I also have not come to the Zen that I am seeking...yet. Maybe an hour of not being able to move will get me there. I have accepted that perpetual motion is my "way", and have also accepted that it is not necessarily a bad thing. Baby steps. Body, mind, spirit right?
My mantra for the trip was to be joyful, free, alive, and in tune. Stopping a busy brain is never easy for me, I have had a few moments here and there to just breathe though. In 20 minutes I will be laying on a table to the sounds of the waves : - ) I will take photos of the massage spot on this property.
@Stockholm_Andy
An unripe orange!?! That makes sense. I didn't know that oranges were green : - )
No wonder that it makes such a good addition to a Margarita, since I don't have any triple sec in my home away from home kitchen : - ) This place came with a citrus squeezer in the fully equipped kitchen lol. Margaritaville indeed.
@Lilylady3k
I like the choices that you are making. Why waste a drink on something that doesn't taste good.
@Breathe57103
You are going through so much. I really don't know what to say. I am glad that you are here with us at least. Becoming Theresa, the lead role is on the horizon of your next chapter. Huge hugs.7 -
I am Dawn. I live in Cranbrook BC.
I joined this thread in November of 2018 as a daily drinker.
I have found a sweet spot for myself, 16-20 AF days per month.
I had 18 for August.
I will be in Mexico for a good chunk of September and will definitely be having some Margaritas and possibly Cervezas.
I post in the mornings to MFP, so the next day for this thread.
Diary style.
Sunday Sept 11 - AF - Planned AF for Monday and Tuesday. I arrive in LA at 3pm on Tuesday and staying there until Wednesday morning, where I depart for Zhihuatanejo. I may have a Margarita at a beach bar on Wednesday, we'll see. Packing up my laptop after this post, I will check back in on Thursday.
Monday Sept 12 - AF - I have to get up at 2:30am to be at the airport for 4:30
Tuesday Sept 13 - AF - Arrived in LA for the day and night. Met a very nice young man in the pool and had a good conversation
Wednesday Sept 14 - 1 Margarita. Flight delay and forever getting through customs so I was late to the property. Turns out the beautiful cobblestone street that I thought that I would be living on was torn up and muddy with construction. Pretty much impossible for the cabby. Somehow got into my "bungalow" and back down the hill in the mud to a little place where I had a drink and took two containers to my room, one of rice, one of beans. (I see that the rest that I typed didn't go through because of wifi)
Thursday Sept 15 - Cocktails on the beach
Friday Sept 16 - Takeout cocktails - very very busy at all of the places because of the holiday, no seats
Saturday Sept 17 - 2 Margaritas at a not busy little spot that I found on day 1 here, just a muddy hill to get to it. Brought some more containers of rice and beans back to my place from there.
Sunday September 18 - Homemade Margaritas with my lime/orange thing. Pretty good. Planned AF for Monday so that when I wake up Tuesday for my birthday I will be raring to go and my belly will be flatter for spending the entire day in my bathing suit.
Monday September 19 - AF - Not looking good for hitting my 16 this month. Planning drinks and dinner on the beach for my birthday if it isn't raining too much. Oh, no earthquake here btw, and I am up on a hill and in a cove if a tsunami does form. The quake was north of here. Once I got wifi lots of people messaged me to see if I was okay, I hadn't known that there had been a quake and didn't feel anything. Sunny and blue all day today, walked very far and also visited another beach, but took a micro (van sort of bus) back at 1pm too hot for such a long walk (only a few miles, but up and down very big hills in the sun), stopped in town for cash on hand for my bday, walked back from there, grabbed an awesome iced espresso then went to the pool until 4:30. The big rain started just after I got back to my room. Love it from my covered terrace.
Tuesday September 20 - My bday. Drinks late afternoon, then Montezuma's revenge an hour later. Ice cubes? All good though, had a great day wandering, and then just the one bout that was over very quickly.
Wednesday September 21 - Drinks (Margaritas), made by me with ice cubes that I made from bottled water.
Thursday September 22 - AF - For no particular reason. - 6 more AF days in 8 days is doubtful, but I am actually okay with that. I hardly ever drink Margaritas, but they are so good with Mexican food that I don't feel like resisting at this point.
Rolling total: 10AF days out of 22 days.4 -
@globalhiker it's so true. I'm a big time "obliger" of Gretchen Rubin's 4 personality types. I'm great at getting stuff done if it's for someone else, but not so good when it's for me. I have an "I can wait" mentality but it hasn't served me very well. I've been moving myself off the backburner now that the kids are growing up. I even took 20 minutes yesterday evening during what we call "showtime" in our house to do a Peloton ride yesterday evening, which is something I very rarely do, and saved the kitchen cleaning for later while my husband worked on our 3 year old's bedtime. That decision was completely aided by not drinking, also. If I'd cracked a beer at 5pm I certainly wouldn't have gotten that bit of exercise!
Yesterday was Day 10 AF for me (out of my goal of 15 days). I've decided to drink tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday, then be AF the rest of the month just based on our social plans. I have my reunion starting on Friday but it's a high school football game so not exactly a drinking activity anyway! And we have no childcare so we won't be able to attend the afterparty. Then Saturday will start a new month to challenge myself
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@dawnbgethealthy There is no HR. She IS HR. She is the owner of the clinic, so she answers to no one and she knows it. So, the only option is to get out.
Enjoy your massage! I’m planning Sunday as a “me” day!3 -
The massage spot on the property where I am staying:
I had my hearing aid in so that I heard the sound of the waves the entire time. She even did my face and head, basically every inch of me. Glorious.
20 minute walk now over to the pier to catch a water taxi over to Playa Los (Las?) Gatas, only accessible by boat.
Low energy today, but all good. Hot and sunny here. It usually rains later in the afternoon.
Adios for now : - )
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AF today. I quit beating myself up about the Diet Coke this week since I wasn't sleeping and was struggling mentally. I need to work on that and the ridiculous carb loaded diet I've been subsisting on.
My self care for this weekend includes: a manicure after work today, my granddaughter's birthday party tomorrow, watching my grandbabies tomorrow night and a massage on Sunday afternoon.
I also have an event called The 437 Project Sunday morning. Our mayor and 11 others are taking turns running the 437 miles across the state of SD in 72 hours ending in Sioux Falls on Sunday morning. They are raising money for suicide prevention programs. The mayor rented space in one of our buildings when he was young and starting his digital marketing business. He was a friend to my husband and has really taken on championing mental health initiatives during his time in office. Our company is one of the finish line sponsors for the event. Hopefully after Sunday morning I can begin to push away the incessant talk about suicide and start healing.
9/1-9/13 AF
9/14 A
9/15-9/19AF
9/20 -9/21 A
9/22-9/23 AF
Sept totals AF - 20 A - 3
May you all have a blessed weekend of less alcohol, self care and self love.8
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