How do you eat healthy when the rest of your family only wants to eat junk?

I truly need advice on this one. My husband & 13 year old boy are naturally thin, no matter what they eat. I do the shopping & cooking. I want to make healthier meals but I know it will be a challenge to get them to eat anything other than frozen pizza, nuggets, fries, hot pockets, mac n cheese, pizza rolls, snack cakes, etc. Non-frozen things they like me to make include spaghetti with cheese and garlic bread, meatloaf (cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped) and mashed potatoes, chili, loaded potato soup, cheese ravioli, biscuits and gravy, bacon, sausage, tacos, French toast, burgers, etc. Basically nothing healthy. I feel like in order for me to be successful I'm going to have to make completely separate meals for me and for them. And that sounds super overwhelming and like it will add more temptation. I'm just curious how other people in here have managed to eat better even when your family wants nothing to do with the idea lol
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Replies

  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    I have a similar situation. I have 4 males in the family and I make pasta or risotto for them everyday for lunch, and a protein and vegetable for the evening meal. I plan something else for myself. I always have leftovers, so maybe for me, protein with a salad or a little pasta and a leftover vegetable. Today, I have a leftover barley vegetable soup for me and ravioli for them. They fill in with cold cuts, tuna, bread, salad, and cheese as they see fit.

    It's really not hard once you work it out.
  • Rockmama1111
    Rockmama1111 Posts: 262 Member
    Your list of things you make for dinner sounds a lot like what I like to eat. You can reduce calories and fat here and there (less oil, a little less cheese, etc.) and it will be painless and not noticeable. “Lighter” doesn’t mean it’s “diet” or gross or anything, it just means it’s been prepared with thought. You can get really good at this with practice. (Tip: Keep your changes secret until after they thank you for a delicious meal!)

    Also, are you sure they would balk at new recipes? I had a Cooking Light cookbook when my kids were growing up and they still call to ask for recipes from that book. There is a Greek burger recipe that my son chose for his birthday dinner!
  • I_AM_ISRAEL
    I_AM_ISRAEL Posts: 160 Member
    The goal you have in mind ( if you have any) is not worth the work you’re willing to put in.
    For me, even when I was snacking on “small amounts” of junk food, i was getting nowhere near what I wanted my physique to look like.
    It wasn’t until I told my-SELF, “hey, you’re going to compete in your first show ever! Get your self a coach, pay him, and do it! This way if you don’t want to stick to the protocol or feel like cheating on a snack here and there, it’ll sting a lot, since you’ve put money into it, and you know damn well how hard it is to acquire that money”.
    After I signed up with a coach ( a week later) it was game on and I’ve never looked back!
    Going on 12 weeks now, with 11 weeks out from my first show.
    So my advice, invest in your goals, this’ll be a huge motivating factor. It’ll also make your husband keep you in check because he knows money don’t grow on trees either.
    As a bonus, the dramatic changes in your physique will spice up your marriage 😉
  • Mise_enPlace
    Mise_enPlace Posts: 64 Member
    My husband is the same way. Eats whatever he wants and remains slim. I eat a smaller portion of the dinner I make for him and add more vegetables. Earlier this week I pre chopped veggies for roasting, let them cool, and stuck them in the fridge for later. For example, I roasted butternut squash, carrots, and brussels sprouts in the oven at 400 degrees for 30 minutes (took the sprouts out at 20 minutes), let them cool and stuck them in the fridge. Those veggies were used for 3 days of meals. You could even cut all of them up, stick them in a bowl to roast (steam, put in soup) later. I used to find it overwhelming, but set the timer on your phone while you chop and you will see chopping doesn't take too much time at all and if you keep doing it, it becomes an easier habit. Think of it as self care.
  • SuzySunshine99
    SuzySunshine99 Posts: 2,989 Member
    I truly need advice on this one. My husband & 13 year old boy are naturally thin, no matter what they eat. I do the shopping & cooking. I want to make healthier meals but I know it will be a challenge to get them to eat anything other than frozen pizza, nuggets, fries, hot pockets, mac n cheese, pizza rolls, snack cakes, etc. Non-frozen things they like me to make include spaghetti with cheese and garlic bread, meatloaf (cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped) and mashed potatoes, chili, loaded potato soup, cheese ravioli, biscuits and gravy, bacon, sausage, tacos, French toast, burgers, etc. Basically nothing healthy. I feel like in order for me to be successful I'm going to have to make completely separate meals for me and for them. And that sounds super overwhelming and like it will add more temptation. I'm just curious how other people in here have managed to eat better even when your family wants nothing to do with the idea lol

    As others have stated, a lot of these meals can be subtly altered or added to in order to make them better for your goals.

    If it were me, I'd tell the family to make their frozen favorites on their own for lunches or snacks.

    For dinners, you can make some adjustments to the amount of butter, oil, or cheese to the dishes and the family probably wouldn't notice. Then, just have a smaller portion and add a salad or vegetable side dish for yourself.

    A burger with a side salad and some roasted broccoli is a nice meal. You can throw some French fries in the oven for the rest of them if they don't want side veggies.

    Pasta and chili are easy to doctor up with extra vegetables that add bulk without adding a lot of calories. Hopefully, your family is not totally vegetable-adverse and would be willing to try this.

    Tacos are really versatile, too. Since everyone typically builds their own anyway, find tortillas and toppings that fit your goals without having to sacrifice taco night.
  • kelliward1
    kelliward1 Posts: 97 Member
    Sometimes it's taking the family favorites and making them a little healthier....use lower sodium broth, low sodium canned food if you have to use canned. We use ground turkey instead of ground beef for spaghetti and tacos. For spaghetti we have switched to whole wheat pasta. Like other have said, have a smaller serving of the main dish and a side salad. I've also started using a smaller plate to serve myself.

    When we make tacos we put in a can of no salt added black beans (drained) in with the meat..it makes more Taco filling and the extra fiber is great too. They pick up thr Taco seasoning flavor so you really dont notice the beans. I turn mine into a Taco bowl with a serving of brown rice, Taco meat, some cheese, lettuce (and what ever other veggies you want) and crush up a few tortilla Chios for crunch. It's so good..I look forward to it after work when I know it's Taco day.
  • mrszr8765
    mrszr8765 Posts: 1 Member
    Have you thought about implementing intermittent fasting? Having a smaller window to consume the calories means more calories per meal. So far its been working for my similar family. I make the kids their breakfast and lunch, send them to school. My husband makes his own lunch. Then I cook dinner. If we have a dinner worth 1,000 cal, it's no big deal because I usually have that many left for dinner.
    Lots of people do 16 hours fasting and 8 hours window to eat. Some do one meal per day and eat all their calories then. There's different programs for timing but all of them allow more calories per meal by default because of timing! The first few days you would ease in, but honestly the body adjusts quickly.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    I truly need advice on this one. My husband & 13 year old boy are naturally thin, no matter what they eat. I do the shopping & cooking. I want to make healthier meals but I know it will be a challenge to get them to eat anything other than frozen pizza, nuggets, fries, hot pockets, mac n cheese, pizza rolls, snack cakes, etc. Non-frozen things they like me to make include spaghetti with cheese and garlic bread, meatloaf (cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped) and mashed potatoes, chili, loaded potato soup, cheese ravioli, biscuits and gravy, bacon, sausage, tacos, French toast, burgers, etc. Basically nothing healthy. I feel like in order for me to be successful I'm going to have to make completely separate meals for me and for them. And that sounds super overwhelming and like it will add more temptation. I'm just curious how other people in here have managed to eat better even when your family wants nothing to do with the idea lol
    Unfortunately, this is YOUR uptaking and not theirs. So you'll have to prep for yourself. OR as mentioned, eat what they do, but stay well within your calorie restriction.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • LifeChangz
    LifeChangz Posts: 456 Member
    edited January 2023
    so, no one in my family was/is willing to change their eating - and I had to decide if I wanted to make changes for me even if that meant eating different foods.... As I am the cook, I make adjustments where I can, and cook different sides. for example, meats in a divided pan - theirs with sauces, mine with spices. I found 'batch cooking' to help - simply making enough to last 2 or 3 meals so I cook fresh dinner entrees 2 or 3 times a week - and for me, i batch cook/cook ahead sometimes veggies or my lunches like a big pot of soup. Even though it is more work, it was the way through for me to make progress with my personal goals. When it gets tempting to eat 'their' foods because of smell, handling, etc.... I remind myself 'it's their food, not mine, I have my own delicious food that nourishes my body that I also love/enjoy eating." things like that... it's (you are) worth exploring ways to get you going on your own goals. Cheers :)
  • PAPYRUS3
    PAPYRUS3 Posts: 13,259 Member
    The goal you have in mind ( if you have any) is not worth the work you’re willing to put in.
    For me, even when I was snacking on “small amounts” of junk food, i was getting nowhere near what I wanted my physique to look like.
    It wasn’t until I told my-SELF, “hey, you’re going to compete in your first show ever! Get your self a coach, pay him, and do it! This way if you don’t want to stick to the protocol or feel like cheating on a snack here and there, it’ll sting a lot, since you’ve put money into it, and you know damn well how hard it is to acquire that money”.
    After I signed up with a coach ( a week later) it was game on and I’ve never looked back!
    Going on 12 weeks now, with 11 weeks out from my first show.
    So my advice, invest in your goals, this’ll be a huge motivating factor. It’ll also make your husband keep you in check because he knows money don’t grow on trees either.
    As a bonus, the dramatic changes in your physique will spice up your marriage 😉

    I'm asking "Did you read the OP?" She is asking for help balancing cooking for family and then herself. She didn't ask about a personal trainer, or getting a "physique" to "spice up her marriage". Perhaps her marriage is spicy enough? Her "goal" is organization. How is investing in that going to work? This is the most off-the-wall answer I've seen. Not everyone is going to do a "show".

    😂😂
  • JenMarieD87
    JenMarieD87 Posts: 34 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    I truly need advice on this one. My husband & 13 year old boy are naturally thin, no matter what they eat. I do the shopping & cooking. I want to make healthier meals but I know it will be a challenge to get them to eat anything other than frozen pizza, nuggets, fries, hot pockets, mac n cheese, pizza rolls, snack cakes, etc. Non-frozen things they like me to make include spaghetti with cheese and garlic bread, meatloaf (cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped) and mashed potatoes, chili, loaded potato soup, cheese ravioli, biscuits and gravy, bacon, sausage, tacos, French toast, burgers, etc. Basically nothing healthy. I feel like in order for me to be successful I'm going to have to make completely separate meals for me and for them. And that sounds super overwhelming and like it will add more temptation. I'm just curious how other people in here have managed to eat better even when your family wants nothing to do with the idea lol
    Unfortunately, this is YOUR uptaking and not theirs. So you'll have to prep for yourself. OR as mentioned, eat what they do, but stay well within your calorie restriction.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I already prep for myself and everyone else. That's my point. They want me to feed them but all they want to eat is garbage. Im not expecting them to do anything for me.
  • SafariGalNYC
    SafariGalNYC Posts: 1,558 Member
    sollyn23l2 wrote: »
    In my family it's always been... Mom's cooking, she's in control of the meals. Suggestions are welcome, but she'll modify them as she sees fit. Don't like it? Then cook your own dinner.

    This! 👆🏻

    I also agree.. even though your family is thin.. trying to make them eat healthier as the matriarch .. may help them years from now. Could be an opportunity to talk about health and nutrition in the family.


  • LifeChangz
    LifeChangz Posts: 456 Member
    edited January 2023
    nods.... i think there is a kernel of truth in all the comments ~ including to keep your personal eating goals elevated ~ from there, find ways that work for you and the feeding of your family - sometimes it might take a heart to heart - my hubby often would bring home (junk) food treats for everyone.... in a conversation - asked him why? when he knew I was trying not to eat those things - his 1st soft response was he loved me.... further into the conversation, his 2nd soft response was that he felt like he was losing his chef and eating companion.... so, we continued to have conversation about alternatives/divergent eating - because I just can't wait for him/them to join me nor can I force them to change beyond suggestions/encouraging more nutritious options - practically speaking, it is helpful for me to prepare foods, we all do our parts for the household, so it is an on-going effort to find ways to cook/eat that work for all of us, from winter foods that are prepared in divided dishes differently or bbq on the grill with sauces or simply spices. Hope you find a way through that works for you and yours. Would love to hear how you go forward...
  • vivmom2014
    vivmom2014 Posts: 1,649 Member
    I think it's loving to move your family toward "healthier" (which I read as "delicious" because: can frozen prepared food even compete with freshly made, aromatics-rich, well seasoned, varied, unique, mouth-watering homemade meals?! No, it cannot.)

    However, you're not responsible for how your husband eats. Your son...well, you could definitely endeavor to switch up his palate by putting the brakes on pre-made stuff and introducing him to the world of quality homemade.

    When I went vegetarian in 2014, my family had to fall in. I am the cook. I also take pride in my cooking and have high personal standards for what I serve. It HAS to be delicious, preferably with fresh produce, nuts, wonderful cheeses, sauces, and variety, occasionally a meat analog. Along with the entree, I can have 55g of French baguette with 1 T butter and a side salad for a complete, moderate-calorie meal.

    Point being: if my family wanted to eat differently (meat), they were on their own. Funny how when faced with cooking their own food, they're more than happy to sit down to my meals.
  • mtaratoot
    mtaratoot Posts: 14,372 Member
    vivmom2014 wrote: »
    Point being: if my family wanted to eat differently (meat), they were on their own. Funny how when faced with cooking their own food, they're more than happy to sit down to my meals.


    Testify!

    So much this. It definitely helps a LOT if you're a good cook. I remember when my mom started making much healthier food for us all. It seemed weird at first. I am so grateful she did. I worked landscaping for a couple guys who had a small business one summer between college. It was quite funny; I was a vegetarian. I would eat breakfast before work. On the way to a job site, they would stop for fast food biscuits with fried stuff. They would often be hungry again well before noon. My lunches were things like a whole bunch of chopped vegetables in a pita with some kind of sauce. I found it hilarious when they said, "I don't know how you can eat that rabbit food." I never said anything, but I thought, "Yeah; I wonder how come I don't get hungry at 11:00 and can wait to eat my lunch until it's a good time to take a break from what we're doing."

    As a very young child, I did not at all like squash casserole. My tastes matured over time. It took eating that stuff. Now I cook really tasty and healthy food. I also cook junk from time to time; I like that too. OK, time to go roast a couple beets and cook some brown rice... :wink:
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 711 Member
    edited January 2023
    Some thoughts of easy stuff you can make in a big batch in advance for yourself even if your family doesn’t want to eat it are things like soups (instead of using dairy to make them creamy purree a potato or cannelini beans), veggie chili, various casseroles based on veggies that you can easily eat throughout the week without having to cook something different every single day. Maybe experiment with stuff that is in the “top your own” or “make your own” mode like tacos/burritos, even personal flatbread pizza, where every person can control the amount/type of stuff put on at the end, Also lots of sheet pan meals for you can be done at the same time you are heating up whatever frozen premade stuff your family demands instead. But if you are cooking stuff like chili or spaghetti you can easily have yours on spaghetti squash or a half a sweet potato or a maarinated and roasted portabello mushroom while your family has theirs on pasta with cheese, The spaghetti squash tastes better roasted in the oven, but works fine in the microwave too. Burrito bowls work well on squash or riced cauliflower too. Lots of things your family would eat with a side of unhealthy carbs/between bread and a topping of cheese can work for you without those things, instead on roasted vegetables or greens or on riced cauliflower. (Still carbs but healthier and less carby). Burgers for them can be switched out with roasted portobello mushroom for you. For a while mashed cauliflower was popular. You should try it. Mash steamed/microwaved cauliflower with a 1/4 - 1/2 the amount of boiled/microwaved potato. Much lower in carbs and calories. Use chicken stock and garlic and herbs to cook & mash for flavor instead of butter and milk if you want to cut the calories further. Its entirely possible you can slip it past your family as mashed potatoes.
    But as possible as it is to do all of these things you don’t have to cut every calorie at every meal. I do all the cooking in my house and no one ever knew I was losing weight until I had already lost close to 40 lbs. and I bought new clothes so you could see it. You probably don’t eat every single bite as a family, plus you have named some home cooked items that your family likes and I bet your repertoire is bigger than what you listed. Tweak those a bit along the lines above and supplement with other stuff that is new for the family, in the same taste profile but home made or less processed and see how you do.
  • mrsmeteor
    mrsmeteor Posts: 40 Member
    This has been said and I agree: you do the shopping and cooking, so you decide the groceries and the menu. If they don't like it they can go to the grocery store themselves and buy the junk they like and they can start cooking themselves. Stay strong and I promise you, once they learn that they will eat what you make or have to forage for themselves, they will gain a new appreciation for healthy food.
  • Rockmama1111
    Rockmama1111 Posts: 262 Member
    I’ve already responded, but I’d like to add that there is room in your diet to have every single thing you normally cook for dinner, even without substitutions. (But do experiment to see what you can get away with!)

    As for the snacks and lunch, I doubt you sit down and eat them as a family? Do your own thing there. A repertoire of 300-400 calorie lunches would serve you well.

    I somewhat agree with other posters who say, “you’re the cook, it’s your call” but I recommend subtlety, especially if you’re still learning how to make tasty lighter food. When one family member decides to lose weight and demands that everyone else in the house go all in too, it’s not going to go well. And it really isn’t fair.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    I truly need advice on this one. My husband & 13 year old boy are naturally thin, no matter what they eat. I do the shopping & cooking. I want to make healthier meals but I know it will be a challenge to get them to eat anything other than frozen pizza, nuggets, fries, hot pockets, mac n cheese, pizza rolls, snack cakes, etc. Non-frozen things they like me to make include spaghetti with cheese and garlic bread, meatloaf (cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped) and mashed potatoes, chili, loaded potato soup, cheese ravioli, biscuits and gravy, bacon, sausage, tacos, French toast, burgers, etc. Basically nothing healthy. I feel like in order for me to be successful I'm going to have to make completely separate meals for me and for them. And that sounds super overwhelming and like it will add more temptation. I'm just curious how other people in here have managed to eat better even when your family wants nothing to do with the idea lol

    For most of the foods I bolded you can have smaller portions plus a large serving of salad and/or vegetable.

    I can't have French toast for breakfast - it makes me sleepy. A few times per year we will have this or pancakes for dinner.

    I would suggest meal planning and letting them know what's going to be on the menu so you know how much to make. If they don't want it, they can heat up frozen food themselves.

    I love rice & beans from many cuisines, find this very filling, and can eat it all the time. My partner is less enthusiastic. However, it freezes well, so I make a giant batch, we have it for dinner at least once, and I have the rest for lunches, freezing some as needed. I'm currently working on a batch of Arroz Mamposteao. I think he's only going to get one serving. I mixed mine into a big salad last night - YUM! I think I'm going to have a smaller serving into a smaller salad today for lunch.

    I also make various rice & lentil dishes for me for breakfast or lunch. It started off as a Lebanese dish, but I also make it with Thai or Berbere spices and bulk it up with whatever veggies. I've used cabbage, cauliflower, and green beans. This I don't serve to my partner :lol: He's on his own for breakfast and lunch.
  • DebbsSeattle
    DebbsSeattle Posts: 125 Member
    My mom always told us, “if you don’t like it, don’t eat it, cook your own”. We ate it. You are choosing to make healthful changes. Skinny people can be sick too from eating all that Cra.p food. My neighbor is super tiny and cute with her 100# frame…just diagnosed as pre-diabetic because she eats processed sugar carb based foods. You need to spend time cooking good food. Learn how to make your own pizza dough and pizza sauce for make your own pizzas. Quit facilitating their ‘food instantly appears’ fantasy. Spend time making real food and perfecting the healthy version recipes. Anyone who sits on the couch while someone else prepares dinner gets no say.
  • Ebonie_owlwehn
    Ebonie_owlwehn Posts: 32 Member
    Their few things I’ve started to do. If they are having a take away I will order a salad and water plus a zero or diet can of pop. I’ll cook my own thing and separate dish for everyone else. Their choice if they want what I’m cooking myself. They had years of me doing fade diets ect.. so no making everyone be on a diet/healthy eating habits.
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,155 Member
    [snip]

    I somewhat agree with other posters who say, “you’re the cook, it’s your call” but I recommend subtlety, especially if you’re still learning how to make tasty lighter food. When one family member decides to lose weight and demands that everyone else in the house go all in too, it’s not going to go well. And it really isn’t fair.

    Yes, I agree with this, as the person who does almost all the cooking here and really the only one who cares a lot about nutrition.

    I have learned pretty much everything I know about cooking since I became an adult; and I grew up mostly eating hyperpalatable processed foods, so the meals I make now are a LOT different than they were early in my marriage when I really had no idea what I was doing beyond the very basic stuff. My kids still hem and haw over it sometimes, but I haven't completely eliminated their favorites (and I don't only do "healthy" versions of those favorites, either.)

    I've been grumbling to myself the past few weeks because I've been making these really nice breakfasts for everyone (baked oatmeal, egg casseroles, etc) and I end up being the only person who eats them. In our house, breakfast and lunches are more on-your-own (or at school/work) and dinner is the family meal, so I've decided to live with it and not be insulted that they don't want it - more for me, anyway. I keep bagels, toast, and even dry cereal (which to me is blah) on hand.

    Everybody has to eat what I make for dinner, and nobody is allowed to complain (they aren't forced to eat it, either, but it is all they will be served.) I try to space out the dishes that I know will be the most tempting to complain about, and I figure if take-and-bake-pizza feels like a fancy once-in-a-while treat for my kids, then I'm probably doing pretty well.