WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2023

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,173 Member
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    Rosemarie2972 wrote: »
    Lisa: A husband who can make a picture-perfect fire. Now that is a great thing!

    Margaret Turk: Your overdoer cousin in poor health reminds me that sometimes I work so hard to clean the house for Xmas that I am tired on Christmas day!

    Kylia: I love your Christmas decorations ...hope Snowman is okay!

    Heather: I love nature because it can be healing and spiritual. But the food chain idea is not my favorite
    thing! Great about 2 bunches of flowers being delivered!

    Carol: I use to cook Cornish hens regularly. I joined this de-cluttering Facebook group and realized I was not one to complain. I am cleaning out one storage room while others are cleaning out their parents homes while trying to work. I have more perspective now and am more grateful! Also mentioning that I am having a junk company come seems out of place. Many are cleaning by putting one bag a week into the trash or by loading carload on top of car load of junk. I will be doing this in the future now that I have room to move in the storage room.

    Machka: I didn't know there was an empath/apath scale. I would probably be in the middle somewhere.
    I didn't like some of Sharon Martin's ideas for saying no. I like some of the Wonder Cottage ideas better...
    ...I really appreciate you asking me, however\
    ....Thanks for thinking of me, unfortunately

    Annie: Unfortunately my husband and I learned the difference between Palliative Care and Hospice as part of our journey. Most companies offer both. We did Palliative Care for some months and this was helpful because we could still treat any dehydration or pneumonia that arose. I feared Hospice might not want to treat these issues and my Husband was still alert and very interested in current events and the family and so forth. The Palliative care nurse was an NP and able to write out most of his scripts so doctor's visits stopped. When we did decide to do hospice it was very near the end and we were able to go to an inpatient hospice. Many people do outpatient hospice and speak highly of it.

    Rebecca: An hour conversation every Monday...Wow! I don't know a lot of Moms receiving this from their adult son!

    Vickie: I hope you feel better.

    I have missed many of the episodes of All Creatures Great and Small. But I got interested and curious about the episode where Mrs Hall, played by Anna Madeley meets up with her estranged son. It is not an easy meeting. He is joining the military and war is possible. Anna Madeley does such an excellent job showing us the daily strain of having an estranged child.

    Off to do meditation. I do Zoom meditation with a group every Tuesday evening!

    Best,
    Rosemarie from Georgia

    I just created the empath/apath scale where an apath is someone generally apathetic about other people. Perhaps someone on the autistic spectrum who is confused by emotions and things and thus disregards them (think Sheldon Cooper), or someone who has been numbed by traumatic experiences, or someone who is on a decent dose of antidepressants and doesn't feel emotion anymore. The apath would likely be a die-hard introvert too.

    That's my definition of apath. 😀

    Google may have a slightly different definition.

    And there can be scales between things everywhere. Rarely are things black and white.

    Machka in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,173 Member
    edited November 2023
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    barbiecat wrote: »
    :)Meg, Glad to see you again. I hope we'll see you regularly.

    :)Machka, I liked your lists of how to say no. My most used one is "I am not available". The second most used is "That doesn't work for me".

    :) I still remember the day someone told me that I didn't have to answer my phone just because it was ringing even if the caller was someone across the street who could see me standing by the window in my kitchen.

    :)Debbie , my credit card company has taken care of several bad charges. They try to encourage me to contact the retailer, but I never do. I just let the credit card company do it and it works.

    :) My walk this morning was shortened because we slept late so I went for another walk after dark and got to enjoy lots of holiday lights that aren't lighted when I walk in the morning.

    :)Annie, my dog walking friend got help at her home from Hospice in the last months of her husband's life. She said they were wonderful.

    <3 Barbie in NW WA

    I remember about when I realised that "Thanks for asking but I am busy every night this week." could include:
    - I am going home and walking my cat.
    - I am going home and watching a show I like.
    - I am going home to colour in my colouring book.
    - I am going home to read.
    - I am going home to sleep.
    - And many more.

    It's nobody's business what I am busy doing and it would be rude for the person to ask.

    Essentially, something is a greater priority to me than whatever you just invited me to and that is OK because I have the choice. It's also OK if I don't tell you what has greater priority because it is none of your business. I don't need to lie about it ... I'm just not going to tell you. :)

    M in Oz

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,353 Member
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    Tracey - So sorry about your troubles with Rodger. A partner's depression can really bring you down. You did great talking to him the other day, but in the end, there is a limit to what we can do for someone else. They have to do it for themselves. In their own way. Bring every resource in for your own mental health and practice the loving detachment that Rita was talking about. It's very hard, but two people getting depressed isn't going to help anyone. Big hugs. <3<3<3

    Rosemarie - You did well getting that support from the Facebook group. There is so much support online and I find podcasts and even Instagram a great support and source of wisdom. I watch a lot of decluttering, cleaning and minimalism videos. I find them a source of information, inspiration, and not always just about material things. More of a psychology course. Also I find it calming, if I am anxious.
    When I was a teenager, I was suffering terribly from the results of my childhood trauma. I used to take regular days off school so that I could sort out and tidy the mess and chaos of my bedroom. It was my way of regaining some control.
    I realise now that the videos are a more benign version of that OCD tendency of mine. Plus, they have been so helpful to me in that my house is now tidy enough for me to relax in. I value the companionship of the presenters, in a way that is like the technique of 'body doubling'. Cas of Clutterbug is particularly good at the psychology stuff. Yes, they are making money out of it, but I am not personally paying them.
    While I haven't been writing, it has been like my day off from school to tidy my bedroom!!! Except this day lasted 7 weeks! <3
    Anyway, congratulations on your decluttering work. Good job, Rosemarie!

    DDIL also went to Cyclo-cross yesterday night with Edie. Cold, in the dark, and some distance away. I'm sure it's lit on the course, but ....... wow, the energy! I am in awe.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 18,374 Member
    edited November 2023
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    ☘️

    Pg 69
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,173 Member
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    kevrit wrote: »
    uw6fx4t84wic.jpeg

    1. Make a list of new things you want to do this month.
    I have a massive list of things to do. Always. I'm never bored.
    In November, however, we're organising a cycling event mid-month, and then there's another one right at the beginning of December.
    My garden needs mid-spring work.
    I need more mid-spring exercise.
    Lots of things!!

    2. Respond to a difficult situation in a different way.
    I try things ... and then I go to Google to find different things to try.

    3. Get outside and observe the changes in nature around you.
    I am outside whenever I can. Love nature! And one really nice thing about returning to Tasmania is that we're going into summer. :)

    4. Sign up to join a new course, activity, or online community.
    How about I just finish the course I started some time ago.

    5. Change your normal routine today and notice how you feel.
    My November 5th didn't exist. How's that for a changed routine!

    6. Try out a new way of being physically active.
    Today, my physical activity was standing in line and walking.

    7. Be creative. Cook, draw, write, paint, make or inspire.
    Yesterday wasn't a particularly creative day although, in the evening, I did resume work on a colouring that I had nearly finished before we left. :)

    8. Plan a new idea or activity you want to try out this year.
    I have a list!! :)
    But today, I might unpack.

    9. When you feel you can’t do something, add the word ‘yet’.
    That's why I take courses ... to learn new things and learn how to do new things. :)

    10. Be curious, learn about a new topic or an inspiring idea.
    Always!!

    11. Choose a different route and see what you notice on the way.
    I've been exploring the shops in Hobart CBD. I haven't seen them for about 6 weeks! They haven't changed much.

    12. Find out something new about someone you care about.
    I did find out something new about my husband while we were away. He told me a little bit about his childhood.

    13. Do something playful outdoors - walk, run, explore, relax.
    Whenever I can!! I'll be heading outside shortly.

    14. Find a new way to help or support a cause you care about.
    I've been busy organise cycling events.
    Human powered transportation is a cause I care about. That and exercise in general.

    15. Build on new ideas by thinking “yes, and what if…”
    I do this a lot at work, especially when I'm working on programs and making tasks easier.

    16. Look at life at someone else’s eyes and see their perspective.
    I have done this a lot more since my husband's brain injury.
    There are a lot of people in the world who have mental health issues and/or physical issues.
    A few points above mentioned causes I care about.
    Related to human powered transportation is ease of getting around. Since my husband's accident, I've become aware of how appalling the footpaths and various things around here are. They have been left to deteriorate or worse, have been designed in such a way that people with physical issues have a lot of difficulty getting around.

    17. Try a new way to practice self-care and be kind to yourself.
    Last night I slept long and deeply!!
    I needed it! This first week back at work has been stressful.
    Shortly, I am thinking of going out into the garden.

    18. Connect with someone from a different generation.
    We were hosting a cycling event on the 18th ... there were cyclists of a range of ages. :)

    19. Broaden your perspective: read a different paper, magazine, or site.
    I read many different sites ... at home to some extent, but especially at work.

    20. Make a meal using a recipe or ingredient you haven’t used before.
    Make a meal??????
    But I did add walnuts to my lunch this week for a bit of variety.

    21. Learn a new skill from a friend or share one of yours with them.
    Now?
    I'm busy!

    22. Find a new way to tell someone you appreciate them.
    I tell people "thank you" almost all the time.


    23. Set aside a time to pursue an activity your love.
    I've been colouring a bit this evening.


    24. Share with a friend something useful you learned recently.
    What have I learned recently?
    - Handheld USB fans are turning up everywhere! Or maybe I'm just looking for them now.
    - The type of vacuum I want, however, doesn't seem to exist.
    - Slipcovers for sofas were popular a year or two ago, and I had no trouble getting a couple. But not now.
    - I've learned a little bit in the SQL realm recently.

    25. Use one of your strengths in a new and creative way.
    I've been using my organisational skills a lot lately ... but much the same as usual.

    26. Try out a different radio station or new TV show.
    Got the chance to do this in Canada.

    27. Join a friend doing a hobby and find out why they love it.
    Well ... I've started beekeeping and gardening in recent years.

    28. Discover your creative side. Design a friendly greeting card.
    One day soon I might get creative.

    29. Enjoy new music today. Play, sing, dance or listen.
    I've unearthed the piano again!!

    30. Look for new reasons to be hopeful, even in tough times.
    Christmas is coming!



    Machka in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,173 Member
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    Anniesquats100 wrote: »
    Good morning ladies!

    On saying NO - at Thanksgiving dinner, a distant relative said we should go out for coffee sometime. I said No, I'm taking care of my mother at home right now, and I really can't go out. She badgered me into exchanging phone numbers anyway. I should have continued to hold my boundary, but I caved. If she calls me now, I will feel justified in ignoring the call because she pushed me, and I don't want that kind of relationship. I guess some people need to hear a "Heck NO!"

    I am having second thoughts about hospice. Something about giving IV fluids for dehydration is considered prolonging life. I have to think about that.

    My cousin is coming to cut my Dad's hair. She is a hairdresser by trade, so it is quite nice of her. I will likely let her trim mine too. I like to keep it shorter than my wrists so I can reach past it.

    Rori, so sorry about your friend that passed.

    Somebody asked me a question and now I've lost it. Sorry. I will have to be gentle with myself today. My nose is runny and my throat is becoming sore. Not good.

    Have a good day, my friends! Reading your posts and typing out this early morning note is a very valuable relationship for me. I hope you all enjoy it too!

    Annie in Delaware

    You must have really long hair!

    If mine was wrist length that would be past my butt, to the tops of my thighs. I have let it grow to that point a couple times but it starts to get in the way.

    Remember to take time for yourself.

    M in Oz
  • teklawa1
    teklawa1 Posts: 675 Member
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    (((Rori))) (((Tina))) (((Annie)))

    Betsy in NW WA
  • 1948CWB
    1948CWB Posts: 1,364 Member
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    <3
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,706 Member
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    502502
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Allie, I'm so sorry. I don't think I remember a week going by where you've not mentioned Homer in the last ten years, at least. Many hugs as you say goodbye.

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