Every January I come crawling back here...

JustaNoob

I need to lose this weight. But as the years tick onward... my confidence and motivation to do so keep decreasing.

I try to think of the ways that I have been successful in the past and I've always done best when I was in a community with others on the same journey who I could vent to, share successes, and encourage in their own journey. I have plenty of people who support me in my life... but none my size, trying to lose weight... so it's really one sided.

I would love to meet some women around my size who really want to lose weight this year and enjoy a little chat therapy lol. I'm 36, f, 256lbs and 5'5.

danninicole5682

We are close to same size. 5 6 and most recently 262 female. Also come crawling back every so often but always around the new year! Lol

bekbok34

Hi, it’s been a while since I have been on MyFitnessPal however I’m in the same boat… I’m 5ft 7 size 20/22 282lbs, slightly older than you (47) but I need to do this before i reach 50! 😛

yirara

So where it is going wrong that you can't adhere to your diet plan? Do you want too much too quickly? Do you feel you lose 'motivation'? Is your life too busy? Have you ever considered this question?

Just a few ideas? Set your weightloss goal to the slowest possible goal, 0.5lbs/week. You get a lot more to eat. You might think this is too slow, but just imagine you lost steadily 0.5lbs/week for years instead of giving up halfway through.

Do you need motivation to brush your teeth every morning? I bet not. So what's different with weightloss? How can you get from fleeting motivation to making eating the right amount of calories a part of normal life, like brushing your teeth?

What can you do to reduce stress? Does your house need to be absolutely perfect, next to possibly a job, kids, etc? Do you need to cook several times per day or would eating something quick and cold be an option as well (note, most people in Europe only have one cooked meal per day).

When do you get over your calories? Are you bored, want to eat something badly or any other reason?

I'll probably think of more questions later on.

Aswennu

Hello,
I'm pretty close to your stats. I'm 36 as well and am sitting at 240lbs right now. I'm a bit taller (5'8). I'd love to have some like minded friends to work with. Feel free to add me

mccallum2013

This is a great idea! I too do better in community with others. I am 5'7 and about the same weight as others in this group. I am looking forward to reaching goals and building community with all of you

JustaNoob

yirara wrote: »

So where it is going wrong that you can't adhere to your diet plan? Do you want too much too quickly? Do you feel you lose 'motivation'? Is your life too busy? Have you ever considered this question?

Just a few ideas? Set your weightloss goal to the slowest possible goal, 0.5lbs/week. You get a lot more to eat. You might think this is too slow, but just imagine you lost steadily 0.5lbs/week for years instead of giving up halfway through.

Do you need motivation to brush your teeth every morning? I bet not. So what's different with weightloss? How can you get from fleeting motivation to making eating the right amount of calories a part of normal life, like brushing your teeth?

What can you do to reduce stress? Does your house need to be absolutely perfect, next to possibly a job, kids, etc? Do you need to cook several times per day or would eating something quick and cold be an option as well (note, most people in Europe only have one cooked meal per day).

When do you get over your calories? Are you bored, want to eat something badly or any other reason?

I'll probably think of more questions later on.

Thanks for these thought provoking questions. I think it's been a combination.

Last year, I think I just tried to control the outcome so much that I got burnt out when things didn't go my way. I weighed and measured everything I ate. I kept a spreadsheet showing how much calories my apple watch showed me burning vs how much I ate, and how much weight I should lose each day. When the scale wasn't matching the spreadsheet, I started getting really frustrated. It did not occur to me until later that maybe I wasn't burning as much as what my apple watch said. To me, it felt like I was working hard and putting in all the effort to weigh and measure everything and I still wasn't hitting my goals. This was from January to May-- and I did lose 20lbs-- I just didn't appreciate it and could only see what I "should have" lost.

Then I graduated nursing school, studied to pass my boards, and started a nursing job in a unit that was super high stress. After 12 weeks of orientation, I moved to another unit that was a much better fit. But I just felt like the season was all consuming and my brain just didn't have space for taking on another thing. I also picked up some bad habits in the new job, like always getting a cookie in the cafeteria, or eating a full breakfast platter every morning, or afternoon trips to the gift shop to grab some candy.

I am more settled and at peace in the new job, but now I have even worse habits than I did last year. Honestly I really just love food and have a massive sweet tooth that is never satiated. And I'm not all or nothing with it-- I've tried to do some sort of 80/20 situation with sweets but it always ends up like 60/40 or 50/50. I think I am going to have to make a hard stance against the sweets-- I really want to be that moderate person who can just eat two oreos and walk away... but it just isn't working out.

Anyways that's this past year. In prior years, I did all the things lol. Extreme diets, not extreme diets, working out like crazy, not working out like crazy lol. I just feel like weight loss has always had to take a lot of attention and intention and it has never become a "brushing my teeth" situation lol.

JustaNoob

Thanks everyone! I sent you friends requests. Cheers to the new year!

AnnPT77

@JustaNoob, these are some really good insights you're finding. That bodes well for odds of success, I think.

JustaNoob wrote: »

yirara wrote: »

So where it is going wrong that you can't adhere to your diet plan? Do you want too much too quickly? Do you feel you lose 'motivation'? Is your life too busy? Have you ever considered this question?

Just a few ideas? Set your weightloss goal to the slowest possible goal, 0.5lbs/week. You get a lot more to eat. You might think this is too slow, but just imagine you lost steadily 0.5lbs/week for years instead of giving up halfway through.

Do you need motivation to brush your teeth every morning? I bet not. So what's different with weightloss? How can you get from fleeting motivation to making eating the right amount of calories a part of normal life, like brushing your teeth?

What can you do to reduce stress? Does your house need to be absolutely perfect, next to possibly a job, kids, etc? Do you need to cook several times per day or would eating something quick and cold be an option as well (note, most people in Europe only have one cooked meal per day).

When do you get over your calories? Are you bored, want to eat something badly or any other reason?

I'll probably think of more questions later on.

Thanks for these thought provoking questions. I think it's been a combination.

Last year, I think I just tried to control the outcome so much that I got burnt out when things didn't go my way. I weighed and measured everything I ate. I kept a spreadsheet showing how much calories my apple watch showed me burning vs how much I ate, and how much weight I should lose each day. When the scale wasn't matching the spreadsheet, I started getting really frustrated.

May I suggest that focusing on the process (vs. outcome)? The process is what we can control. I'm talking about things setting calorie/nutrition goals, weighing in or measuring progress regularly, logging food, doing new exercise, etc. If we hold ourselves to account for doing the right process, results will follow . . . but on their own timeline, usually trends over weeks, not one day to the next. Maybe focus on the part you control, the actions, rather than the outcome you influence by those actions?

I thought of weight loss as a sort of fun, productive science fair experiment for grown-ups. For me, that involved reasonably meticulous logging, tracking the many-multi-week trends of my scale weight, adjusting my intake based on my weight change results, trying new routines to see if they were better in some way, etc. Tactics that don't work out are just learning experiences, not personal failings. As long as I learned from them, they were a positive step in the process.

It did not occur to me until later that maybe I wasn't burning as much as what my apple watch said.

The good brand devices will be pretty close for a lot of people, but they're still just estimating based on population average calorie needs of demographically similar people. Individuals vary. Once you have 4-6 weeks of data from a new eating routine, that gives you a better indication of your calorie needs than any calorie-calculator or fitness tracker. If the tracker matches your reality, that's helpful, obviously! (If you have menstrual cycles, compare body weight at the same relative point in at least two different cycles, rather than using a straight 4-6 weeks.)

To me, it felt like I was working hard and putting in all the effort to weigh and measure everything and I still wasn't hitting my goals. This was from January to May-- and I did lose 20lbs-- I just didn't appreciate it and could only see what I "should have" lost.

Then I graduated nursing school, studied to pass my boards, and started a nursing job in a unit that was super high stress. After 12 weeks of orientation, I moved to another unit that was a much better fit. But I just felt like the season was all consuming and my brain just didn't have space for taking on another thing. I also picked up some bad habits in the new job, like always getting a cookie in the cafeteria, or eating a full breakfast platter every morning, or afternoon trips to the gift shop to grab some candy.

I am more settled and at peace in the new job, but now I have even worse habits than I did last year. Honestly I really just love food and have a massive sweet tooth that is never satiated. And I'm not all or nothing with it-- I've tried to do some sort of 80/20 situation with sweets but it always ends up like 60/40 or 50/50. I think I am going to have to make a hard stance against the sweets-- I really want to be that moderate person who can just eat two oreos and walk away... but it just isn't working out.

Anyways that's this past year. In prior years, I did all the things lol. Extreme diets, not extreme diets, working out like crazy, not working out like crazy lol. I just feel like weight loss has always had to take a lot of attention and intention and it has never become a "brushing my teeth" situation lol.

To me, a mindset shift that helped me was to think of it as "weight management", something I was realistically going to need to do forever to stay at a healthy weight once I got there. Food logging in MFP really helped me figure out how to change my routine eating patterns gradually, to dial in appropriate calories and reasonable nutrition while eating foods I enjoy and find filling.

New habits were a key focus: Figuring out eating and activity patterns I could practice and then continue almost on autopilot long term, when other parts of life got demanding. It's the majority of my days that will determine the majority of my results, not one rare day when I over-eat cake or something.

To me, that kind of mindset makes it more likely that I can put some new habits at the "brushing my teeth" level of automatic-ness. The habits need to be pretty easy, reasonably pleasant, and generally practical. If they require intense motivation/discipline/willpower to keep up, they're never going to be autopilot, for me.

YMMV.

tazzy2911

@JustaNoob same boat here. Just turned 40, F, 230lbs 5’4”
Feel free to add me!

AnnetteGH4L

Hi, I am Annette and I have been struggling also. Good luck in this New Year, you can do this

mtaratoot

JustaNoob wrote: »

Last year, I think I just tried to control the outcome so much that I got burnt out when things didn't go my way. I weighed and measured everything I ate. I kept a spreadsheet showing how much calories my apple watch showed me burning vs how much I ate, and how much weight I should lose each day. When the scale wasn't matching the spreadsheet, I started getting really frustrated. It did not occur to me until later that maybe I wasn't burning as much as what my apple watch said. To me, it felt like I was working hard and putting in all the effort to weigh and measure everything and I still wasn't hitting my goals. This was from January to May-- and I did lose 20lbs-- I just didn't appreciate it and could only see what I "should have" lost.

1 January through 31 May is 22 weeks. You lost 20 pounds in 22 weeks. That's almost a pound a week. That's actually a reasonably fast pace. You were getting it done! If it was 1 January to 1 May, that's only 18 weeks, so you would have been losing a pound and a quarter per week. That's fast.

When you "weighed and measured," did you actually weigh everything or did you use scoops and spoons for some things? That can add error, and if it's something high calorie, like dressings or oils, it can add up FAST. It's also very possible like @AnnPT77 wrote, your wrist device isn't giving you the best data.

What you might consider doing this time is what you did that January through May, but instead of wondering why your results don't match your expectations, you just revise your expectations based on your actual data. You do have to log honestly and completely for this to work. You can even get good estimates for your calorie burns from your activity.

I also picked up some bad habits in the new job, like always getting a cookie in the cafeteria, or eating a full breakfast platter every morning, or afternoon trips to the gift shop to grab some candy.

If you do that, log it. Completely. Honestly. It's data. And maybe make small changes to these routines and make newer and better habits.

I really want to be that moderate person who can just eat two oreos and walk away... but it just isn't working out.

There were some foods I eliminated for a while. I had more willpower in the grocery than at home. It wasn't oreos for me. Those aren't so hard. Mine was crunchy salty things. I had no problem leaving them in the store, but if they came home... they didn't stand a chance. I even eliminated cheese for a while. It's back, and sometimes it wins. Sometimes it's just delicious and I can make it last all week.


It does take time to build new habits. The main thing to remember is don't quit. Stick to it. Slow and steady. If you have a bad day, just get started again immediately. Now. Not tomorrow or next week - now.

MayvieIRL

Hello all, similar situation here, 38 F, thinking I'm probably starting again around 282lbs, will check in the morning, at 5ft4. Having once competed in strength sports I have no issue being bigger but I hate the softness and jiggling that has taken over a once strong and solid body! Would love some friends for the road ahead.

melissaaridgeway

I just wanted to post and send some encouragement your way. First off, you're here. That's more than you were a little while ago. Several other users have pointed out some really good points - you did lose weight last year but I think your bar, and expectations, were set in stone a little too much. Weight loss, and health in general, needs to be more flexible and fluid. Our lives are full of chaos and uncertainty despite how much of a routine we stick too. Weight loss is kind of the same thing.

I learned last year that I relied too much on my devices and technology than listening to my own body. I was losing weight at a steady pace and then I wasn't. Nothing had changed so what happened? For me, it took me a whole month to realize that my calorie limit hadn't adjusted in the MFP app despite my weight being lower. My body was needing less and technology had failed me due to a glitch because I was relying on it too much.

Sometimes weight loss errors can be as simple as technology being wrong. Sometimes it involves more in depth medical evaluation. Sometimes it's something in-between and unidentified. One of the issues I see several people on here make is overestimating how much activity they actually get, either because their fitness device isn't calculating right or they are just assuming they are doing more when they aren't. And if you eat those calories, that can cause a stall or gain in some people.

If you're in a place where you can make an appointment with your provider to see a dietician to get evaluated, that could be an option. You may also have some medical issues hindering your weight loss that your doctor can test to be sure that's not an issue.

I'm not any kind of expert, so please don't take my suggestions as any kind of actual health and fitness advice. They are just some thoughts I had that you may not have considered yet. But you can work through this. You can figure it out. You can lose weight.

Rockymountainliving

I would say if sugars are your downfall, especially at work, reduce that temptation. Bring some nibbles to work that are sweetish and treaty. No sugar dried fruit, high protein low calorie granola bar, healthy type yogurt. After a couple weeks, you won't crave the sugar as much.

mochabearmommie3

Relatable post.. 40/f/265/5'3

I had my 3rd child in July - prior to that I was the happiest I'd been with my weight and body since being a teen. I was 10 lbs from my 1st goal weight ( I really wanted out of the 200sClub). I was doing Amoila Caesar's 645 workout for going on my 3rd round. My eating habits were pretty good, I slowed down drinking as much and was overall pretty content.

I'm looking at myself now and every day I have to remind myself to have grace with myself. I stress ate alot during the last 3 months of my pregnancy and 3 months after. I gave birth via c section to a beautiful baby boy that I had no intention on having lol. My older 2 will be 18 and 15 in February. Recovery of my body was slow and painful; the internal just the same. Still healing each day...

Right now I am working on my food relationship (yet again LOL) and I am also starting Shaun T's Dig Deeper program with my s/o. Now that the holidays are gone, we can focus even more. I'm trying to be proactive with little changes - bringing premade protein shakes to work, drinking more water by a specific time, eating "clean" as much as possible. I expect there to be unexpected challenges ahead. Shxt, I injured myself the week the program started. But I waited a few days to start training again and recover. I plan on bringing an extra pair of clothes to work so I can take walks on my breaks on the days I'm here, even though its cold asf. Hybrid model work - 3 days in, 2 at home. Fasting as long as I can, at least until 11am on office days; for some reason, I can go longer when I'm home.

I'm going to continue to fight, Continue to push, Continue to start over... I implore you to do the same we can do this...

beastmode_kitty

JustaNoob wrote: »

Thanks everyone! I sent you friends requests. Cheers to the new year!

I'll join that club! Feel free to add me. I'm 210lbs and 41 years old. I keep staring off good and then failing. Need friends to help keep me accountable.

Sassymom1976

Feel free to add me too! The more the merrier. I’ve been slowly but surely losing since September and it’s been great. I wasn’t great on logging/tracking so that’s my next step.

cortsworld

35 years old, 5’4” and 236. Just was put on Blood pressure medicine. Here to get the weight off and get off my meds! Give me an add if you’d like an accountability buddy 🙂

ddsb1111

Here to mention that losing .5 lbs to 1 lb a week is good progress. It’s not “nothing” or “slow”. Expecting more can lead to a break down, halt your ability to be consistent, and prevent reaching your goal. Pass it on. Happy New Year! 🥳

JustaNoob

AnnPT77 wrote: »

May I suggest that focusing on the process (vs. outcome)? The process is what we can control. I'm talking about things setting calorie/nutrition goals, weighing in or measuring progress regularly, logging food, doing new exercise, etc. If we hold ourselves to account for doing the right process, results will follow . . . but on their own timeline, usually trends over weeks, not one day to the next. Maybe focus on the part you control, the actions, rather than the outcome you influence by those actions?

Thanks! I do really find this idea helpful. Like.. enjoying the journey rather than just being focused on results. I always enjoy the actual losing weight... but maybe this time around I need to be less laser focused on the numbers and enjoy the scenery a little more.