Every January I come crawling back here...

JustaNoob
JustaNoob Posts: 147 Member
I need to lose this weight. But as the years tick onward... my confidence and motivation to do so keep decreasing.

I try to think of the ways that I have been successful in the past and I've always done best when I was in a community with others on the same journey who I could vent to, share successes, and encourage in their own journey. I have plenty of people who support me in my life... but none my size, trying to lose weight... so it's really one sided.

I would love to meet some women around my size who really want to lose weight this year and enjoy a little chat therapy lol. I'm 36, f, 256lbs and 5'5.
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Replies

  • danninicole5682
    danninicole5682 Posts: 18 Member
    We are close to same size. 5 6 and most recently 262 female. Also come crawling back every so often but always around the new year! Lol
  • bekbok34
    bekbok34 Posts: 1 Member
    Hi, it’s been a while since I have been on MyFitnessPal however I’m in the same boat… I’m 5ft 7 size 20/22 282lbs, slightly older than you (47) but I need to do this before i reach 50! 😛
  • Aswennu
    Aswennu Posts: 57 Member
    Hello,
    I'm pretty close to your stats. I'm 36 as well and am sitting at 240lbs right now. I'm a bit taller (5'8). I'd love to have some like minded friends to work with. Feel free to add me :)
  • mccallum2013
    mccallum2013 Posts: 1 Member
    This is a great idea! I too do better in community with others. I am 5'7 and about the same weight as others in this group. I am looking forward to reaching goals and building community with all of you
  • JustaNoob
    JustaNoob Posts: 147 Member
    Thanks everyone! I sent you friends requests. Cheers to the new year!
  • tazzy2911
    tazzy2911 Posts: 323 Member
    @JustaNoob same boat here. Just turned 40, F, 230lbs 5’4”
    Feel free to add me!
  • AnnetteGH4L
    AnnetteGH4L Posts: 5 Member
    Hi, I am Annette and I have been struggling also. Good luck in this New Year, you can do this
  • mtaratoot
    mtaratoot Posts: 14,221 Member
    JustaNoob wrote: »

    Last year, I think I just tried to control the outcome so much that I got burnt out when things didn't go my way. I weighed and measured everything I ate. I kept a spreadsheet showing how much calories my apple watch showed me burning vs how much I ate, and how much weight I should lose each day. When the scale wasn't matching the spreadsheet, I started getting really frustrated. It did not occur to me until later that maybe I wasn't burning as much as what my apple watch said. To me, it felt like I was working hard and putting in all the effort to weigh and measure everything and I still wasn't hitting my goals. This was from January to May-- and I did lose 20lbs-- I just didn't appreciate it and could only see what I "should have" lost.

    1 January through 31 May is 22 weeks. You lost 20 pounds in 22 weeks. That's almost a pound a week. That's actually a reasonably fast pace. You were getting it done! If it was 1 January to 1 May, that's only 18 weeks, so you would have been losing a pound and a quarter per week. That's fast.

    When you "weighed and measured," did you actually weigh everything or did you use scoops and spoons for some things? That can add error, and if it's something high calorie, like dressings or oils, it can add up FAST. It's also very possible like @AnnPT77 wrote, your wrist device isn't giving you the best data.

    What you might consider doing this time is what you did that January through May, but instead of wondering why your results don't match your expectations, you just revise your expectations based on your actual data. You do have to log honestly and completely for this to work. You can even get good estimates for your calorie burns from your activity.


    I also picked up some bad habits in the new job, like always getting a cookie in the cafeteria, or eating a full breakfast platter every morning, or afternoon trips to the gift shop to grab some candy.

    If you do that, log it. Completely. Honestly. It's data. And maybe make small changes to these routines and make newer and better habits.

    I really want to be that moderate person who can just eat two oreos and walk away... but it just isn't working out.

    There were some foods I eliminated for a while. I had more willpower in the grocery than at home. It wasn't oreos for me. Those aren't so hard. Mine was crunchy salty things. I had no problem leaving them in the store, but if they came home... they didn't stand a chance. I even eliminated cheese for a while. It's back, and sometimes it wins. Sometimes it's just delicious and I can make it last all week.


    It does take time to build new habits. The main thing to remember is don't quit. Stick to it. Slow and steady. If you have a bad day, just get started again immediately. Now. Not tomorrow or next week - now.
  • MayvieIRL
    MayvieIRL Posts: 2 Member
    Hello all, similar situation here, 38 F, thinking I'm probably starting again around 282lbs, will check in the morning, at 5ft4. Having once competed in strength sports I have no issue being bigger but I hate the softness and jiggling that has taken over a once strong and solid body! Would love some friends for the road ahead.
  • melissaaridgeway
    melissaaridgeway Posts: 278 Member
    edited January 2
    I just wanted to post and send some encouragement your way. First off, you're here. That's more than you were a little while ago. Several other users have pointed out some really good points - you did lose weight last year but I think your bar, and expectations, were set in stone a little too much. Weight loss, and health in general, needs to be more flexible and fluid. Our lives are full of chaos and uncertainty despite how much of a routine we stick too. Weight loss is kind of the same thing.

    I learned last year that I relied too much on my devices and technology than listening to my own body. I was losing weight at a steady pace and then I wasn't. Nothing had changed so what happened? For me, it took me a whole month to realize that my calorie limit hadn't adjusted in the MFP app despite my weight being lower. My body was needing less and technology had failed me due to a glitch because I was relying on it too much.

    Sometimes weight loss errors can be as simple as technology being wrong. Sometimes it involves more in depth medical evaluation. Sometimes it's something in-between and unidentified. One of the issues I see several people on here make is overestimating how much activity they actually get, either because their fitness device isn't calculating right or they are just assuming they are doing more when they aren't. And if you eat those calories, that can cause a stall or gain in some people.

    If you're in a place where you can make an appointment with your provider to see a dietician to get evaluated, that could be an option. You may also have some medical issues hindering your weight loss that your doctor can test to be sure that's not an issue.

    I'm not any kind of expert, so please don't take my suggestions as any kind of actual health and fitness advice. They are just some thoughts I had that you may not have considered yet. But you can work through this. You can figure it out. You can lose weight. <3
  • Rockymountainliving
    Rockymountainliving Posts: 27 Member
    I would say if sugars are your downfall, especially at work, reduce that temptation. Bring some nibbles to work that are sweetish and treaty. No sugar dried fruit, high protein low calorie granola bar, healthy type yogurt. After a couple weeks, you won't crave the sugar as much.
  • mochabearmommie3
    mochabearmommie3 Posts: 4 Member
    Relatable post.. 40/f/265/5'3

    I had my 3rd child in July - prior to that I was the happiest I'd been with my weight and body since being a teen. I was 10 lbs from my 1st goal weight ( I really wanted out of the 200sClub). I was doing Amoila Caesar's 645 workout for going on my 3rd round. My eating habits were pretty good, I slowed down drinking as much and was overall pretty content.

    I'm looking at myself now and every day I have to remind myself to have grace with myself. I stress ate alot during the last 3 months of my pregnancy and 3 months after. I gave birth via c section to a beautiful baby boy that I had no intention on having lol. My older 2 will be 18 and 15 in February. Recovery of my body was slow and painful; the internal just the same. Still healing each day...

    Right now I am working on my food relationship (yet again LOL) and I am also starting Shaun T's Dig Deeper program with my s/o. Now that the holidays are gone, we can focus even more. I'm trying to be proactive with little changes - bringing premade protein shakes to work, drinking more water by a specific time, eating "clean" as much as possible. I expect there to be unexpected challenges ahead. Shxt, I injured myself the week the program started. But I waited a few days to start training again and recover. I plan on bringing an extra pair of clothes to work so I can take walks on my breaks on the days I'm here, even though its cold asf. Hybrid model work - 3 days in, 2 at home. Fasting as long as I can, at least until 11am on office days; for some reason, I can go longer when I'm home.

    I'm going to continue to fight, Continue to push, Continue to start over... I implore you to do the same :) we can do this...
  • beastmode_kitty
    beastmode_kitty Posts: 844 Member
    JustaNoob wrote: »
    Thanks everyone! I sent you friends requests. Cheers to the new year!

    I'll join that club! Feel free to add me. I'm 210lbs and 41 years old. I keep staring off good and then failing. Need friends to help keep me accountable.
  • Sassymom1976
    Sassymom1976 Posts: 6 Member
    Feel free to add me too! The more the merrier. I’ve been slowly but surely losing since September and it’s been great. I wasn’t great on logging/tracking so that’s my next step.
  • cortsworld
    cortsworld Posts: 5 Member
    35 years old, 5’4” and 236. Just was put on Blood pressure medicine. Here to get the weight off and get off my meds! Give me an add if you’d like an accountability buddy 🙂
  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 869 Member
    edited January 3
    Here to mention that losing .5 lbs to 1 lb a week is good progress. It’s not “nothing” or “slow”. Expecting more can lead to a break down, halt your ability to be consistent, and prevent reaching your goal. Pass it on. Happy New Year! 🥳
  • JustaNoob
    JustaNoob Posts: 147 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »

    May I suggest that focusing on the process (vs. outcome)? The process is what we can control. I'm talking about things setting calorie/nutrition goals, weighing in or measuring progress regularly, logging food, doing new exercise, etc. If we hold ourselves to account for doing the right process, results will follow . . . but on their own timeline, usually trends over weeks, not one day to the next. Maybe focus on the part you control, the actions, rather than the outcome you influence by those actions?

    Thanks! I do really find this idea helpful. Like.. enjoying the journey rather than just being focused on results. I always enjoy the actual losing weight... but maybe this time around I need to be less laser focused on the numbers and enjoy the scenery a little more.
  • JustaNoob
    JustaNoob Posts: 147 Member
    mtaratoot wrote: »
    JustaNoob wrote: »

    Last year, I think I just tried to control the outcome so much that I got burnt out when things didn't go my way. I weighed and measured everything I ate. I kept a spreadsheet showing how much calories my apple watch showed me burning vs how much I ate, and how much weight I should lose each day. When the scale wasn't matching the spreadsheet, I started getting really frustrated. It did not occur to me until later that maybe I wasn't burning as much as what my apple watch said. To me, it felt like I was working hard and putting in all the effort to weigh and measure everything and I still wasn't hitting my goals. This was from January to May-- and I did lose 20lbs-- I just didn't appreciate it and could only see what I "should have" lost.

    1 January through 31 May is 22 weeks. You lost 20 pounds in 22 weeks. That's almost a pound a week. That's actually a reasonably fast pace. You were getting it done! If it was 1 January to 1 May, that's only 18 weeks, so you would have been losing a pound and a quarter per week. That's fast.

    When you "weighed and measured," did you actually weigh everything or did you use scoops and spoons for some things? That can add error, and if it's something high calorie, like dressings or oils, it can add up FAST. It's also very possible like @AnnPT77 wrote, your wrist device isn't giving you the best data.

    What you might consider doing this time is what you did that January through May, but instead of wondering why your results don't match your expectations, you just revise your expectations based on your actual data. You do have to log honestly and completely for this to work. You can even get good estimates for your calorie burns from your activity.


    I also picked up some bad habits in the new job, like always getting a cookie in the cafeteria, or eating a full breakfast platter every morning, or afternoon trips to the gift shop to grab some candy.

    If you do that, log it. Completely. Honestly. It's data. And maybe make small changes to these routines and make newer and better habits.

    I really want to be that moderate person who can just eat two oreos and walk away... but it just isn't working out.

    There were some foods I eliminated for a while. I had more willpower in the grocery than at home. It wasn't oreos for me. Those aren't so hard. Mine was crunchy salty things. I had no problem leaving them in the store, but if they came home... they didn't stand a chance. I even eliminated cheese for a while. It's back, and sometimes it wins. Sometimes it's just delicious and I can make it last all week.


    It does take time to build new habits. The main thing to remember is don't quit. Stick to it. Slow and steady. If you have a bad day, just get started again immediately. Now. Not tomorrow or next week - now.

    Sorry I dont know how to quote little segments to respond to each little part--- so a big quote it is.

    I know 20lbs sounds great... but I lost 13 in the first month. So it was just 7lbs over 4 months.

    I truly did weigh and measure everything--- which is why it made me so angry and frustrated. The ketchup, the creamer, the bread. I did the work of weighing out everything in my recipes, weighing and entering those as foods then weighing again when I actually ate them lol. Initially, I took one day a week off to not log but even on those days, but eventually I moved to weighing those days too.

    I really do believe in calories in, calories out. But... I think I greatly miscalculated the "calories out" portion. I was incredibly sedentary. I think that I just thought because I was larger, I burned more calories just sitting and sleeping. My apple watch said I burned 3000 calories a day so I calculated my deficit based on that and thought if I was really good at logging then it would guarantee 2lbs a week. I kept thinking maybe I was retaining water and a big whoosh was around the corner-- but nope.

    Anyways-- this is just my reflection of where I went wrong last year. I think I was holding on too tightly to those numbers and feeling sorry for myself. I also focused more on calories than I did on nutrition. So I often felt hangry because there was not a vegetable or fruit in sight lol. This year, I want to introduce more into my diet.
  • JustaNoob
    JustaNoob Posts: 147 Member

    If you're in a place where you can make an appointment with your provider to see a dietician to get evaluated, that could be an option. You may also have some medical issues hindering your weight loss that your doctor can test to be sure that's not an issue.

    Thanks! I actually met with a nutritionist last week and she brought some really good insight and helped me to see some patterns that I have. I actually have amazing health insurance for the first time in my life and plan to go to all the doctors and hit my deductible this year lol. So far, all my blood work is good. I have no real reason to not lose weight. But sometimes I randomly lose my hair in patches and then grow it all back.... so I want to get to the bottom of whatever that is lol.
  • JustaNoob
    JustaNoob Posts: 147 Member
    Thanks everyone for the insights! Adding the people who wanted to be added.
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
    I would love some new friends. I'm turning 40 this year. 5ft 6 and 209lbs. I have been a member for a looooong time - success in 2011 with MFP...need to do it again. 👍
  • frhaberl
    frhaberl Posts: 145 Member
    Popping in to give a bit of insight into what made the big difference for me last year (down 62 lbs from April 1st of 2023).

    I definitely can relate to the frustration when the results feel like they aren't matching the effort. One thing I did when I was feeling that way was to go back to data mode (recognizing that my average weight loss was at or over pace on the days/weeks when I felt like it was going too slowly. I've been fortunate enough to not actually drop below pace when taken as an average, but if I did, I'd recalculate the calories I needed to stay on pace given the data I'd gathered over 4-6 weeks of "not on pace". Data mode may not be for everyone, but it helps me stop the negative self talk and personalizing the results as "bad" and "failure".

    But the BIG shift that I made last year that I think is the key to success for me is looking at this a building a lifestyle that I enjoy enough to hold onto for the rest of my life. When I get frustrated with the perceived lack of progress, I ask myself "what would you do differently if you weren't trying to lose weight?" My goal (and I've gotten there for the most part) is to say "nothing" and realize that I can keep doing what I am doing a bit longer to see if the weight starts dropping, or go into data mode and find a tweak that I feel is sustainable that might get me closer to my goal weight.

    When my answer has been "I'd stop doing xyz exercise" - time to find a new exercise that I enjoy more, or take a break from the current routine to remind myself that I miss it when I stop.

    When my answer has been "I'd stop eating xyz "healthy" food" - time to find a different food that has similar nutritional value.

    When my answer has been "I'd eat xyz "unhealthy" food" - time to find a way to fit a satisfying portion of that food into my meal plan, or a "healthier" alternative that satisfies that craving.

    When my answer is "Spend less time measuring and logging" - time to simplify those activities by doing meal prepping, buying more prepared foods, or being more selective about what I measure/log (eyeballing veggies rarely gets me in trouble).

    I do think that it takes a bit of motivation to get over the initial change, but I avoid any changes that will take continual motivation, or I put the energy into setting up a perpetual motivation machine like meal planning and prepping for the week so that my hatred of things going to waste keeps me from going out for meals, or weighing out serving size baggies of a snack so that I don't mindlessly eat out of the main container.

    Best wishes on your journey. I'm happy to cheer you on.
  • kareyno126
    kareyno126 Posts: 5 Member
    Well I guess I am the granny of the group at 67. F/5’4/268. Back at highest weight ever. I know what to do just can’t seem to get my groove back after 2 years of acting like my eating habits don’t matter
    But we can all do this if we stick together
  • kareyno126
    kareyno126 Posts: 5 Member
    Ok I am new to community and can’t figure out how to add people. There are several people on here I would like to connect with. Please feel free to add me
  • mtaratoot
    mtaratoot Posts: 14,221 Member
    kareyno126 wrote: »
    Well I guess I am the granny of the group at 67. F/5’4/268. Back at highest weight ever. I know what to do just can’t seem to get my groove back after 2 years of acting like my eating habits don’t matter
    But we can all do this if we stick together

    You have taken the first step. Showing up is important. The next step is to keep showing up. Don't quit.

    Actually, a very good step would be to sit down with a cup of tea and create some goals - shorter and longer term. Make them challenging but attainable. Make them measurable. Then start to think about what strategies you will use to achieve them. Start with the short term ones.

    Then get after it! If you have a bad day, that's OK. We all do. Just get right back to it. Not next month. Not next week. Not tomorrow. Do it NOW. All we have is this one moment. Any decision we make is made in this moment. It can affect our tomorrow, and it can be informed by our yesterday, but all we have is NOW.

    You can do this if you want.
  • martinez0701
    martinez0701 Posts: 15 Member
    I have put on weight over the last few years and I just have to get it off. Now that I’m 45 and 5 ft 3 at 184 it’s getting harder on my knees and body. It get frustrated easy and give up when I feel like the weight is not coming off fast enough and i do not see results soon enough. I need to lean to trust in the process.
  • mtaratoot
    mtaratoot Posts: 14,221 Member
    I have put on weight over the last few years and I just have to get it off. Now that I’m 45 and 5 ft 3 at 184 it’s getting harder on my knees and body. It get frustrated easy and give up when I feel like the weight is not coming off fast enough and i do not see results soon enough. I need to lean to trust in the process.

    If you put on weight "over the last few years," then you might be able to see into the future and see losing it "over the NEXT few years." It probably won't take that long if you are focused, and by all means, don't rush it. Our culture has a hard time with delayed gratification. For weight management, you really do need to go slow to win.

    Not to be a downer since you might not see it for a while, but the last ten pounds is a real bugger.

    In the meantime, don't get frustrated when things slow down or go the wrong way. Yes - trust the process, and keep doing it. Weight loss is not linear. If you can use a spreadsheet, track your averages over time. You can also use one of the many tools online that do the math.

    If you don't trust the process and just keep doing what you've been doing "over the last few years," you should expect similar results "over the next few years." Yuck!

    Even a small loss will help your body. I remember after losing I put on a very small eight-pound SCUBA belt and went for a walk. I was amazed that I used to tote much more than this around ALL THE TIME, and I could feel it in my knees. Slow and steady. Every week you'll be a little better. Just stick to it!