LeanStrongSexy's 'NO MORE NEWSFEED' BLOG

leanstrongsexy

I forgot my Fitbit on the charger last night. I don’t know what last night’s sleep looked like but I doubt it was good. I was awake at 6 o’clock this morning. Couldn’t get back to sleep so I got up. But I did see the doctor today. It was supposed to be for my but we have rescheduled that because I had to talk about the stress I’m under and the lack of sleep and what’s happening to my body because of all the lack of sleep and stress. She gave me some triazolam to try. It’s non-addictive and higher doses the doctors use it for depression in extreme low doses. It’s used to help sleep so I’m gonna try this for a month starting tonight. I’ll let you know the results tomorrow.
My blood pressure was good. My thyroid is within range. She’s also gonna have me go for bloodwork to check fatigue elements. So B12 anaemia CBC all that sort of stuff. I’ll go get my blood work done on Monday cause I forgot to stop on my way home.

This afternoon, I have someone coming to look at my property. Someone posted on marketplace about needing a small farm for their horses. After 25 years they have to sell their property about three hours away. I’ve been talking to the Wife quite a bit. And her husband is coming to look today, if he likes it then he’ll bring the wife back. I have already signed with a realtor so it’s not going to be a private sale for me, but it’ll be a private buy for them if that makes sense. I have my eye on a new property. A house in town at a reasonable price. I’ll put a bid in if these people give me a bid for mine. If I can do this without having to clean out my house for pictures and listing it, that would be really helpful.

Also on Monday, I’m going to look at an apartment, that is Plan B. If I can’t afford a new smaller home, I’m gonna go straight into an apartment. I’m really concerned about my dogs though if I have to go to Plan B. Plan C is in the works, but not necessarily an option just yet. Option C is to move into geared to Income housing in the next town over.

leanstrongsexy

Well the person who came to look will not be buying. My property doesn’t have a barn and the house needs another bedroom on the main floor. So back to packing up so pictures can be taken a week from today.

endurovet

Well that’s a shame - I’m sorry for your disappointment. Fingers crossed for someone else to show up!

I’m back from my fun camping weekend with my trail rider buddies - we had perfect weather & finished up this morning’s ride just before thunderstorms hit… now those rainstorms have followed me home, right after I got the last of my food & dirty laundry unloaded… Much to “rest & digest” which I’ll blog about after contemplation. I need to call my friend Charles to see how he’s doing; I obviously will be anxious until I get down to the coast to evaluate him myself. My sleep quality has been crappy also - when ordinarily I get some of my best rest in horse camp.

I think this is the only photo of “the two Vals” in the same frame 😉

endurovet

Another restless night for me also - after about 1 AM I was tossing & turning every hour…

Z & V are recovering from some kind of crud in the aftermath of their PNW vacation - Victoria’s symptoms have been mainly GI, but Zach has sinusitis. 
I dawdled around last night & did not call my friend Charles, but I’ll try to call him around midday today. Riding buddy JR is estranged from his wife (it’s been a real “don’t ask/don’t tell” situation - I’m friends with both of them) but told Sam & I this weekend that he has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. So much for that “in sickness & in health” clause, huh?

Of course, it would be different if Carla had ever insinuated that JR was neglectful, abusive or a cheater but she has given me no insight into the situation, not that she owes me a damn thing! We are riding buddies but not bosom buddies, ya know? Anyway, JR is preparing to return to their native Brazil because he will need a better universal healthcare system as his condition progresses. And I will probably end up with his mule - because, while Carla initially said she would take care of her, now she is no longer prepared to do so… it just makes me sad all around - they’ve been married for 25 years & have two young adult sons.

JR’s niece aboard Silas - so glad I brought him because that enabled JR to ride himself. He was going to sacrifice his own ride so his niece could ride his mule

endurovet

I tried my new Vitavix neck-brace type collar for snoring/sleep apnea, but couldn’t manage to fall asleep in it; I finally took it off. Didn’t do too badly last night, although storms came through about 1 AM with a fantastic lightning show.

Zach has to fly to Tampa June 16 to complete his training for the new job; he won’t accept my offer to fly us to the coast to visit Charles, but he says he’s down for a road trip - far be it for me to refuse such an opportunity with my son! I love road trips but this will be a quick turnaround since we’ll drive down Friday night, visit Charles Saturday & drive back Sunday morning. Hopefully I will find a diplomatic way to talk some sense into Zach about Bridezilla - it is certainly possible to have a wonderful wedding without going deeply into debt & spending a year’s salary. (That was one of my concerns about this new job - I didn’t want him taking it just so the extra money can be poured down the rat-hole of a wedding! Against Zach’s expressed wishes, Victoria has contracted for the services of a wedding planner to the tune of $4300 - to me that’s a huge football-field sized banner of a red flag)

leanstrongsexy

$4300. My god. I hope he’s not paying for it. If his bride to be wants it so bad she should come up with the money herself. I truly hope your son isn’t getting trapped bridezilla. If she’s like this now will she be like this after they get

Sorry, I haven’t been around. My weekend was full of packing and people lots of lots of people. Trying to get things organized so if I’m not on here again, I have an abandoned you. I’ve just got too much going on and haven’t thought about it. I’m only on here today because my house is quiet. For the first time since Thursday, I think.

I still have 4000 books to pack. I have to load them all into the moveable storage unit. The real estate agent is coming Friday morning at 10 and I’m gonna put sticky notes on all furniture that she wants out of the house so she can stage it when she gets here.

So sleep wise well, it hasn’t been great, but it hasn’t been completely horrid. The new medicine, my doctor gave me for sleep trazodone, I think that’s what they call it. It’s sort of working. I stay but the deep sleep still not there. The REM sleep is not there either. I get a whole bunch light sleep though. I’m truly hoping once we get the pictures done and the is listed. I won’t feel so .

Food wise was really good. I got down to 217 and then I needed to chocolate and that kind of put me over so I’m back at it. This Friday going to a Chinese buffet at the Mandarin for my birthday, which is on Monday. I even asked my ex-husband to go with us. It’s the first time I’ve asked is the second time. I’ve asked him want to join us. I invited him over for supper. He thought I was his leg and said no. Although at Christmas time, I did tell David my son to ask his dad if they wanted to come here for Christmas dinner. I think the only reason my ex agreed to go to my birthday dinner is because I called and myself. When I told my son, he said this.

I laughed but I was feeling nostalgic. So there’s no skin off my nose. I’m 60 we’ve been separated since 2012. He can’t hurt me anymore. Unless he gets drunk, so I’m hoping he won’t be doing that at dinner.

leanstrongsexy

I just noticed that the storms you had in Texas are on the way here. The blue dot is my property. You can see the line of storms coming up from Houston. I don’t know where they were before that.

they were expecting some severe storms, but they so far have bypass my section of Ontario. The north western half of Ontario seems to be getting nailed though.

endurovet

Yep, I certainly hope the lightning, hail & sporadic tornadoes have dissipated by the time these storms get up to your neck of the woods…

188.4 - I’ll take it, especially considering I had nachos for a late lunch yesterday, then snacked around at home. I grilled the picanha (top sirloin w/fat cap) that JR gave me** on Monday night which turned out pretty good even if I do say so myself! (In other words, I should’ve eaten leftover steak but I did not)

** as usual, we had tons of great food at horse camp! JR is renowned for bringing picanha steak to grill for us, which he painstakingly does & carves into strips to be passed around as finger food. But we had so much of everything else that he only grilled one, so he sent the other home with me - I told him I would do my best to do it justice. I bought a “cowboy steak” rub at Costco which is pretty damn good.

Gotta pay more attention to my nutrition… Last night’s sleep was not too bad, but I was awakened at 5:30 after an intense sexy dream, unusual for me these days! Post- menopause “I just don’t get those feelings anymore”! I count it as a win because at least it wasn’t a nightmare about my ex-husband, just some generic guy - kinda weird for me, but better than some of the doozies my subconscious has come up with…

You can see I was awake for quite a while afterwards, but finally dozed back off…

leanstrongsexy

I have been packing for a few days. We have packed 35 boxes of books so far. We have another 25 boxes to fill. And I made that need more.

I am still not sleeping. I got just over 3 hrs last night. I’m meeting with the realtor tomorrow morning so she can show me all the things she wants out of the house so she can set it up for pictures on Monday. Tomorrow evening I go out for my birthday. My son bought my cake and brought it home today and I’ll enjoy it immensely on Monday.

endurovet

My weight’s up a pound after meeting a friend for sushi yesterday - in other words, par for the course with the sodium & MSG! Delivered meds for Victoria so I got to see my son briefly (he was playing nursemaid). Spoke to Charles - he is hanging in there, but he has refused to contract with the palliative care agency because he says they require direct access to his bank account for payment?!? I will wait till I can talk to him face-to-face but “it’s only money” & above all, I don’t want him to get into difficulty in his isolated state & suffer any undo harm… (he was happy to hear of our plans to visit even if it will just be a day trip in essence)

My sleep likewise remains broken, but I fell into REM sleep right before my alarm went off, which makes me groggy & hard to get moving. Tony has opted out of our weekend plans to go to another trail ride at Lake Whitney - I don’t know if this is his own fear or his parents’ bleeding through? I think it’s a shame to miss out, but he’s technically an adult at this stage (22) so I didn’t try to talk him out of it. His dad called me yesterday to chastise me because our neighbor Janice asked his wife how Tony was doing when she saw her - I told him I would tell my husband to button his lip! I know epilepsy used to carry some stigma, Peran seemed shocked when I told him - “My dad had epilepsy his whole life!” but you never know how things are going to go in some of our more backwards parts of the county.

Since a space opened up in my trailer, I invited my friend Karen but it looks like she’s stuck taking care of her granddaughter - she texted me “both her parents are no good“ 😔

leanstrongsexy

Well, since my son is working today he is eating us at the restaurant for our supper. So I have to drive myself to my own birthday dinner. Just once I’d like to go out to dinner for my birthday and have someone else do the flippin’ driving. I will be driving myself ex, Felicia and her son. She’s like the I never got to have got to have. My son and she do best being together in separate houses if that makes sense. Her son, my son calls his son. I just hope I don’t have to pay for this *kitten* meal.

leanstrongsexy

So last night dinner with the family went really well.

So starting with the guy at the head of the table is my ex, then is Felicia, David and the boy is Nathan.

My birthday is on Monday. I have packed 80% of my books. So far it has taken 75 boxes.

leanstrongsexy

I slept 8 hours finally. Over an hr of deep sleep. I’ll take it.

it’s better than all of last weeks sleep.

endurovet

I’m jelly! 😉 I went ahead & came home last night - I was feeling guilty about staying out for another weekend camping trip not to mention, everybody was opting out…

Both the Carlas didn’t have a good experience - we had gotten about 3 miles out of camp; I don’t know what spooked Carla 2.0‘s horse but I heard the pop of her air vest going off, then Carla Prime’s horse Chase got spooked & I heard her vest deploy as she was likewise unhorsed. I had my hands full keeping Baraq contained as he was bouncing around like a pogo stick! Of course both horses went running off & the poor Carlas had a long hot walk back to camp. (Marina tried to get Carla Prime to ride Silas back - it would’ve been cruel for me to put her on Baraq!) Fortunately “all’s well that ends well” - the Carla‘s were a little shaken up but unhurt & the horses were fine.

Carla Prime really wanted to remount Chase to teach him that these shenanigans did not result in the reward of not having to work, but the connection on her air vest had cracked so she’s gonna have to send it in for repairs. I hope I did not piss off Carla 2.0 because I spanked her big idiot to get him in the trailer - she was standing there trying to baby him along; I asked her to give me the whip - I hit the ground twice & then I whipped him on the butt once & whaddaya know, he got in the trailer!
We had a nice potluck dinner with one family providing hamburgers & sausage; Tina Fea crashed out on my bosom.

Even better, I found my lost diamond earring in the trailer - I hadn’t wanted to tell hubby until I was certain it was lost “for real”

The Hit-Air vest is basically a wearable airbag for riding - they are great but I’m not ready to strap on one yet (guess I’ll wait until I crack another rib or two 😳)

https://www.hitairequestrian.com/

endurovet

”Another year in the books” - we drove up into Big D last night to celebrate my son‘s 27th birthday dinner. Another excellent meal at his favorite steakhouse - of course I ate too much, too late in the evening so I didn’t sleep worth a damn. Was it the (single) glass of wine, the deep-fried lobster balls, surely not the amazing steak?!? Oh well, it was worth it, gave me a concrete reason to toss n’ turn rather than just this amorphous dread which I’m sure will hang on until I get down to see my friend Charles…

Saturday’s ride right before the wheels came off the Carla’s equestrian buses 😔

leanstrongsexy

endurovet

Happy Happy Birthday darling!!! Hope you had a great day… I can never overlook it since you share the date w/Mijo 😉

Here’s the IG photo collage Victoria made for Zach… Pray for us all as they are meeting with the pastor of St Monica’s today - hopefully Bridezilla can be “redirected” before she destroys the city, ar ar!!!

leanstrongsexy

Thank you so much. Oh jeez about bridezilla

endurovet

Whelp Z & V met with the pastor of St Monica’s last night, but I haven’t heard anything from Mijo (yet). Sleep was crappy (again), filled with anxiety dreams about Charles & our upcoming road trip (the “traveling anxiety dream” is usually a specialty of my subconscious) - my damn bladder got me up 3 times! (Obviously diurescing from all the rich foods recently - my ankles have been puffy)

Weight at 190 even this morning. I’d love to hit the sauna for more “detox” (I don’t believe in all the goofy detox theories but I do believe it’s healthy to have heat stress/a good sweat now & then) but don’t know when I’d fit in the trip across town? I love the Korean sauna but haven’t made the time to go there in ages…

https://www.kingspa.com/dallas/

leanstrongsexy

That’s not something we have access to in our neck of the woods that I’m aware of actually.

I do like a good sauna but haven’t been in one in ages.

Do you know you can order them off of Amazon a one person sauna they’re not very expensive either

endurovet

Oh yeah, my pal Karen has one of those mini-saunas in the corner of her bedroom but guess what? she stores towels & bed linens in it 🤦‍♀️ (She used it a few times when she first got it, but now it is just an auxiliary storage compartment!)

Karen was horrified by the (unisex) nudity at the Korean sauna, so I’ve never been able to get her to go back there with me either - that’s why she bought the home unit. I like to spend a day of it, to spend several hours circulating between the different sauna rooms & have some Korean BBQ at their little snack bar…

This morning I’m at 189, even though FitBit shows me falling asleep fairly quickly, I actually went to bed about 10:30. Finally played some binaural beats video (from YouTube) on my phone to be able to get to sleep. (Hmmm, now that I do some more research - for optimal affects I should be wearing headphones. I don’t know if I can sleep in headphones - I’ve tried in the past when I wore noise-canceling headphones to try to block out P’s snoring but I can try again, I guess)

leanstrongsexy

Last night I took 3 Trazodone and fell asleep before 9 pm. Woke up to pee around 4:30 am and then couldn’t get back to sleep. I got just under seven hours of sleep. Over an hour of deep sleep, and over an hour of REM sleep but I still feel tired. Go figure.

My food lately hasn’t been great. I really need to work on that and I’ll start Tuesday right after they finish taking pictures for the sale.

Today the ‘coming soon’ sign was put up. I didn’t know it was going up today. I would’ve liked a warning.

endurovet

All I can say is, thank God I went ahead & came to see Charles** - he is bad off. We got him signed up for hospice care which was desperately needed (again thank God they could do it on a Saturday!!) I had to call sheriff’s deputies yesterday to pound on his door for a welfare check as I do not have a house key - he was not answering the phone all morning & didn’t come to the door when I knocked all around the house…

It was a grim day, but at least I made him some food (went to grocery store), straightened up the kitchen, did a little laundry, etc.

** Zach got too far behind on his trip prep for Tampa so he stood me up - if I had my druthers I’d have flown down, but thank goodness I’m not averse to driving - it was just the time investment, flying would’ve essentially saved me about six hours which is “one way” of the road trip

I actually didn’t sleep too badly Friday night - I stopped at a hotel in Schulenburg about two hours from the coast

Last night was miserable - I’m so worried about Charles; I kept listening to hear if he was going to call for me. He kept trying to help me do this & that yesterday - he’d run himself into oxygen debt & need another hit on his inhaler! The first order of business is going to be to get him on oxygen (which the hospice administrator assured me they could do by Tuesday - their nurse will be out to do his evaluation Monday)

leanstrongsexy

Oh wow. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend Charles. I’m sure you will be able to fly the next time to visit.

My weekend was filled with packing and entertaining. My son with my encouragement had his dad, my ex, here for Father’s Day. He got his dad to cut some grass for me. David was organizing and pack the storage units. I got a 1 minute shy of a 2 hr sleep. The stress of all this is really getting to me. My son had to work Friday(he wanted to stay and help pack more) and today. Once he gets home we have to finish and do the last minute stuff to get ready for pictures tomorrow.

I’m tired and can’t sleep I sucks.

endurovet

Ugh! Despite the fact I was “safely back home”, I didn’t sleep well last night either… I didn’t bother to put my Fitbit back on after my shower which is probably just as well - I’m groggy & lethargic enough this morning!

Weight is dead stable at 189, a pleasant surprise since I’ve been bloated, gassy & miserable - there again, probably secondary to all the stress. The first thing Charles did when we were alone (i.e. after the sheriff’s deputies left) was to open his bathrobe to show me how emaciated he is - he’s lost 70 lbs, basically half his normal body weight. I hope & pray that hospice can keep him safe & comfortable; my clinical impression is that it’s a matter of weeks or months at best.

I took no photos. It would’ve been cruel. (As I was roaming around the guest bedroom yesterday morning, couldn’t sleep - I pulled out a couple of their photo albums of their travels: Spain, Portugal, Morocco, Greece… They lived well but my oh my, the time seems so short now!)

leanstrongsexy

Do you think you will visit Charles again or are you going to let hospice take care of him now?

endurovet

Whelp it only took most of the day + a few phone calls, but Charles’s doctors finally released his medical records - I was pleasantly surprised they sent their nurse out at 4:30 PM. I can rest easier now - but I await updates before I make any hard n’ fast decisions as to “what I’ll do”… As much as I want to take advantage of the (apparently) limited time I might have left with my dear old friend, I cannot burn myself out racing back & forth to the coast. Just like my mother, I have to trust “the system” to take care of them both.

In any case, Zach regrets not being able to go & proposed that we go back next month - of course, that all depends on his work schedule. He just called me from Tampa - so far, so good & of course he says Tampa is beautiful! (We went to Tampa when Zach was about eight years old when my father’s cousin was hospitalized & dying, but I know Z was too young to remember any of it) Another reminiscence I should put in my blog.

leanstrongsexy

Well I’m glad you are feeling better about Charles and his doctor and nurse and hospice. I’m sure Charles is very thankful. I feel bad he has no one to look after him prior to you going out there.

I finally had a pretty good sleep. I was exhausted though. All the work I did yesterday to make the house look nice for pictures day today. I have some last minute things to do. My son didn’t go to work today to help me. Which I feel bad for because he loses the money for today and he is paying the off a huge maintenance bill on his van. But I’m also really pleased because he will be here to help with the dogs.

endurovet

I took 50 mg of Trazodone last night to take the edge off - slept fairly well, but the Fitbit showed no increase in deep sleep as I had hoped. This morning my hands are stiff, my face is puffy - I guess it’s my body ratting me out for the donut I ate yesterday… Not to mention I ate chips & queso dip for dinner last night - I’ve got to find alternate ways to reward myself.

But I was also upset that my Ft Stanton ride which I was really looking forward to next month has been canceled - the ride manager was pissed that very few people have pre-entered! Of course there is great umbrage & uproar - hopefully we will change his mind, but I’ve already scheduled my time off; a few folks were saying they are going regardless even if we don’t get credit for the riding mileage. I will probably do the same - although I could be really self-sacrificing & go back to Rockport!?! We shall see how it’s going, but I think Val needs the saddle time worse…

leanstrongsexy

Trazodone doesn’t really work for me. I took 150 mg last night and needed to back it up with Gravol. I also had less than 2 hrs sleep the night before so I was exhausted. I’m sure I won’t be so lucky tonight.

I’m sorry to hear your riding weekend went s canceled.