I Feel Fat and I'm Not Sure Why

lisakatz2

I feel so low. I've lost 13 pounds since March 20, but I feel fat. Technically I'm still obese at 187 (I'm 5 foot four) but I think there may be more to it than that. There was a point weeks ago when I felt uplifted and excited about my fitness journey, but now I just feel like it's a grind. Shouldn't I feel better and better about my weight loss? I just want to emphasize that I do NOT feel like I'm going to cycle back, but I'm tired of feeling like crap. Someone, please give me some advice!

tomcustombuilder

Just focus on your progress. The more you lose the more you will feel every lb lost. That’s a pound a week so just stay the course. You could slightly increase your weekly deficit for a bit faster result if you want. As you lose more you’ll have to anyway as your maintenance calories get lower as you get lighter

AnnPT77

lisakatz2 wrote: »

I feel so low. I've lost 13 pounds since March 20, but I feel fat. Technically I'm still obese at 187 (I'm 5 foot four) but I think there may be more to it than that. There was a point weeks ago when I felt uplifted and excited about my fitness journey, but now I just feel like it's a grind. Shouldn't I feel better and better about my weight loss? I just want to emphasize that I do NOT feel like I'm going to cycle back, but I'm tired of feeling like crap. Someone, please give me some advice!

Psychologically, I think it's pretty normal to have sort of a "honeymoon period" where there are feelings like "uplifted and excited", but that is usually temporary, I think.

I don't know about you, but for me there are very few things that are likely to make me feel uplifted and excited for the whole rest of my life . . . and I not only wanted to lose weight, but also to stay at a healthy weight long term, ideally for the whole rest of my life.

Losing 13 pounds is a big accomplishment, and you deserve huge congratulations for that . . . including self-congratulations. But I get that 13 pounds doesn't make a huge difference in how a person feels, when still having a good amount of weight left to lose.

Advice? I think the thread to pull on to unravel some of this, if it can be unraveled, is that "feels like a grind" and "feel like crap" part.

What are the elements of the situation that are most contributing to it feeling like a grind, and you feeling like crap? Can you change those elements in some way, while still achieving your long term goals adequately?

I wouldn't want to feel "grind" and "crap" for the whole rest of my life, either. The pursuit of long-term healthy weight relies on finding habits we can live with almost on autopilot long term. Those habits don't need to be perfect, but they need to be tolerable and practical for the individual, and they need to support the "healthy weight" goal. (If better fitness is in the goal mix, that, too.) If constant motivation or willpower are required, I don't think the tactics are ideal.

From other posts you've made, I've had the general impression that you're trying to use moderation and common sense (not extremes and haste). But are there any ways you can tweak your tactics to be a bit less perfectionist or restrictive or intense, if there's any of that still in the picture, and if it's contributing to feeling like the effort is a grind?

I may be completely off base here, but if there's anything to this line of thought, this is IMO thinking that only you can do, because it's about personalization of tactics to fit an individual's preferences, strengths, challenges and lifestyles. Other people can give ideas in that scenario, but not solutions. Solutions are personal.

Tom observes that you could speed up loss. If fatigue or self-denial is part of feeling like crap, I'd observe that you could also slow it down. I'm not saying you should do either: You know you. But either is an option, if it makes the situation more tolerable. So are changes in eating routine, exercise modalities or schedule, and myriad other factors.

Also, 3 months in, one option I'd definitely suggest considering, given how you're feeling, would be a couple of weeks "maintenance break", i.e., eat at maintenance calories. There are technical (science based, hormonal, physical) reasons why that might help.

There's a good discussion and some good links about that here:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1

I think you can find some improvements for yourself, but it may take some thought and experimentation.

I'm wishing you success, as always! The reward is worth the effort.

chiquitabananna1

@lisakatz2 You and I have similar journeys (just different timing). Last August I weighed 196 and am 5'2. I have lost a total of 38lbs, to date. One tenth of a pound at a time, sometimes not losing anything for a week or two. I knew changing my eating habits would be a permanent solution. That's not to say that once a month I might enjoy something sinful. I have enjoyed creating recipes that are low saturated fat/low sodium, low cholesterol, high in fiber and low in simple carbs. That took a bit of education to learn about eating heart healthy (which, in add'n to weight loss is a big reason for doing this as heart disease runs in the family and my blood test in Aug was bad, improved by February and hoping for normal ranges this coming August. I feel like I eat more now than ever but losing weight. Guess it boils down to just eating the right foods. I have replaced high fat things with low fat., i.e., instead of 1/2 cup of mayo in my ranch dressing, I use 1/4 cup of Nonfat plain greek yogurt and 1/4 cup mayo. Simple little changes in recipes like that not only make delicious foods but lower fat/calories too. Using more spices allows foods to taste good without the salt. I have many recipes I would be happy to share with you and most of them take under 15 minutes prep. I make all my own foods from scratch, sour dough french baguettes, salad dressings, sauces from salsa verde o chili paste, chinese food, italian dishes, the list goes on. Let me know if you're interested in any of my recipes. Seems spending time in the kitchen creating these tasty dishes also keeps my mind off the time it's taking to get healthy. Also, note that I live on a strict budget so they don't have to be expensive ingredients. One way to save is to take veggies like onions, carrots, peppers etc that start to get limp and chop them up, put them in the freezer in containers. Not only does this save waste, but saves money because you can buy more when on sale, also makes food prep time shorter because you can just grab a spoonful of chopped frozen onions and throw them right into the recipe as they thaw so quickly no need to thaw first. In other words, try spending your time on something besides the counting calories and logging. Exercise is important too. Last Dec, even tho I already lost a bit of weight I bought a treadmill on amazon. Smaller than most as I didn't have a lot of room for a large one, under $225 and I'm now doing 45 mins a day at 5mph. Had to slowly build up to that speed. In the end, I think it really helped to spend time, thought and a bit of energy to create better tasting, healthier foods than I ever ate before. I hope some of what I've said will help. If you or anyone reading this has an interest in my recipes you can respond here and I will reply. I closed my profile to the public because I got a friend request from a highly suspect character who didn't appear to have any interest in fitness so I decided to get private again. But I may reconsider.

chiquitabananna1

13 lbs is a lot. You can feed 13 people with a 13lb turkey, or 26 people with a 13lb rump roast. It's equivalent to 24 packages of cream cheese. 2.5 sacks of flour. When you think about it - it's a lot for a 5'4" frame. Next time you're at the grocery store look at a 10lb sack of potatoes and you'll see how big it is, then imagine adding that on to you, carrying it up and down the stairs, walking around with it all the time. YEESH! And, I would venture to guess it took a lot of time to get to that weight from your goal weight, maybe years, so if it takes 6 months or a year to get back down, it's worth it.

Lietchi

I had a similar feeling after about the same weight-loss:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10773684/when-weight-loss-isn-t-a-shiny-new-thing-anymore/p1

I'm glad I kept going, I feel so much better after losing 70lbs in total.

lisakatz2

Thank you everyone who has commented on my thread. It means a lot to me. I realize that only I know the answer to this question, but it all gives me food for thought. I see it as two things: losing patience, and boredom (which I think are going hand-in-hand). As others mentioned, it's important to log, but there are other things I can tweak.

One (I'm thinking) is my Macro split, which is as follows:

Calories 1510
Carbohydrates - 113 g- 30%
Fat 67 g- 40%
Protein -113 g - 30%

I'm thinking of going higher carb one day a week, while staying within my deficit. I've been eating "healthy" carbs like oats, corn, fruit but I miss "fun" carbs like pretzels, cornbread, pancakes/waffles, and most critical chocolate. I think doing this, while staying within my deficit, should do no harm to my progress.

I think another thing I can do is recipes. My food is pretty plain, and I think I'm getting bored. Anyone know a good turkey chili recipe? Or a protein treat recipe like homemade protein balls/bars? I need to make protein more fun, too.

I think I need to treat myself to some non-food stuff too, like some nice gently used clothing. Or nice piece of jewelry.

Tom, I don't think speeding up my rate of weight loss as the answer. I think one pound a week is a great rate of weight loss. I do kinda wish my hubs would complement me on my weight loss instead of saying "keep on going" but I have to recognize that validating myself is most important.

tomcustombuilder

Don’t rely on spouses for compliments. Some just won’t give you props. It would be nice however it’s your fight so do whatever it takes to keep your head in the game.

KareninCanada

Great insights+

I would share that observation with your husband - obviously I don't know your relationship but he may legit not know the best way to encourage you. Some of us can stall once we start getting compliments and he might know someone who has that mindset - one friend of mine wants people to cheer her on to keep going and not to compliment her because then she starts feeling like "maybe I don't actually need to work so hard anymore"

lisakatz2

Good insights Tom/Karen. Perhaps when he says, "keep on going!" that's simply his way of encouraging me (though I'd prefer "you're looking great!"). I have to ask him "Do you notice any change?" and he'll say "Yeah, I see it in your face, mostly" I don't blame him. It's slower going on my belly and hips. I know that.
He knows that. I have to accept this, be patient, and recognize that the rest will go down, eventually.

Another thing that brings me down sometimes is lost time. I'm going to be 62 in October and I finally "get this" after decades of yo-yo dieting. I wish I discovered MFP 40 years ago (don't know how long it's been around, really). But it's been a 40-year learning experience. I don't think I would have arrived at this part of my journey without getting finally sick and tired of the yo-yo, and figuring out what I needed to do differently this time around.

kshama2001

Here's a great high protein snack recipe. You may wish to decrease the quantities to decrease the calories, currently 374. (Ethan has higher calorie needs than you do.)

https://www.cookwell.com/recipe/peanut-banana-cocoa-crunch-bowl

The video has slightly different ingredients, notably cocoa powder instead of nibs:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xWxn5SaxLFU

I get lots of inspiration from Ethan Chlebowski's channel. He has lots of food science videos, and recipes focusing on protein.

https://www.youtube.com/@EthanChlebowski/videos

"I'm Ethan, it's my philosophy that once you learn the how AND why behind cooking, you become a much better cook. Why is salt the most important seasoning for cooking? How is gluten actually developed in bread making? Why does a smash burger generate more flavor compounds through browning than a grilled burger? Once I learn, I want to share that information with you, so we can all become better cooks together."

lisakatz2

Thanks for the links! I'm going to try making the lower cal version of the protein bowl.

Lietchi

tomcustombuilder wrote: »

Don’t rely on spouses for compliments. Some just won’t give you props. It would be nice however it’s your fight so do whatever it takes to keep your head in the game.

I remember losing the first 10lbs, feeling good about it. I mentioned it to my BF and he went 'you don't actually think people can see the difference, do you?'. Honestly, he's great otherwise, but he's not a diplomat 🤪 nor is he a great observer, because I definitely could see a difference (and there are other anecdotes too indicating he's not always perceptive)
Fortunately I didn't let his reaction discourage me!

AnnPT77

lisakatz2 wrote: »

Thank you everyone who has commented on my thread. It means a lot to me. I realize that only I know the answer to this question, but it all gives me food for thought. I see it as two things: losing patience, and boredom (which I think are going hand-in-hand). As others mentioned, it's important to log, but there are other things I can tweak.

One (I'm thinking) is my Macro split, which is as follows:

Calories 1510
Carbohydrates - 113 g- 30%
Fat 67 g- 40%
Protein -113 g - 30%

I'm thinking of going higher carb one day a week, while staying within my deficit. I've been eating "healthy" carbs like oats, corn, fruit but I miss "fun" carbs like pretzels, cornbread, pancakes/waffles, and most critical chocolate. I think doing this, while staying within my deficit, should do no harm to my progress.

I think another thing I can do is recipes. My food is pretty plain, and I think I'm getting bored. Anyone know a good turkey chili recipe? Or a protein treat recipe like homemade protein balls/bars? I need to make protein more fun, too.

I think I need to treat myself to some non-food stuff too, like some nice gently used clothing. Or nice piece of jewelry.

Tom, I don't think speeding up my rate of weight loss as the answer. I think one pound a week is a great rate of weight loss. I do kinda wish my hubs would complement me on my weight loss instead of saying "keep on going" but I have to recognize that validating myself is most important.

This sounds like a good and productive thought process, Lisa.

I may be biased, but I particularly think it's a good plan to figure out how to fit in a more satisfying mix of treat-like foods, within reason. I'd assume you wouldn't want to cut those things out of your life forever (I know I wouldn't!). This is a good time to start figuring out how to fit some in.

On that pancake front, have you taken a look at something like Kodiak pancake mix? I find them very pancake-y, not weird. Made with water, 3 x 4" pancakes is 190 calories, 14g protein. Made with milk and an egg, they go up to 20g protein per serving, for only about 66-91 extra calories depending on what fat level of dairy milk. I like my pancakes with plain Greek yogurt and fruit, which may not suit you, but it does up the protein even further.

lisakatz2

I LOVE Kodiak pancake mix. I think they make a high protein version (is that the one you are talking about?). I've been denying myself pancakes since the start of my weight loss journey. Hubs loves them too. Think it's time to start incorporating them into my diet. We use low-fat (2%) milk in ours and always add an egg. Never tried topping them with Greek yogurt. I'm going to try it.

I'm going to make turkey chili tomorrow too. Going to Google a recipe. I love chili and make versions with top sirloin and chuck roast but I'd like to lower the calories even further.

lisakatz2

Update: I'm down 14 pounds now. I am so close to 15 pounds down I can taste it! Also, down a half inch on my belly.

I purchased for myself a pretty antique, Australian opal and gold Edwardian ring. The opal looks flashy in the photos/video. It's surrounded by tiny seed pearls. I haven't gotten myself something nice in a long while. It's currently being sized by the seller and will be on its way.

This morning my hubs made Kodiak Power Pancakes for us, using skim milk and one whole egg. They came out great! Ate them with a couple of teaspoons of "All Fruit" unsweetened preserves.

Chili came out great. Hubs doesn't care for it but it's for me anyway. Now I'm on the lookout for a lower-calorie version of beef stroganoff.

AnnPT77

lisakatz2 wrote: »

Update: I'm down 14 pounds now. I am so close to 15 pounds down I can taste it! Also, down a half inch on my belly.

I purchased for myself a pretty antique, Australian opal and gold Edwardian ring. The opal looks flashy in the photos/video. It's surrounded by tiny seed pearls. I haven't gotten myself something nice in a long while. It's currently being sized by the seller and will be on its way.

This morning my hubs made Kodiak Power Pancakes for us, using skim milk and one whole egg. They came out great! Ate them with a couple of teaspoons of "All Fruit" unsweetened preserves.

Chili came out great. Hubs doesn't care for it but it's for me anyway. Now I'm on the lookout for a lower-calorie version of beef stroganoff.

Good show! That ring sounds lovely, and I'm glad the pancakes and chili were satisfying.

I've messed around a bit with making stroganoff with plain nonfat Greek yogurt rather than sour cream. (Mushroom, since I'm veg, not beef; but I don't think that matters). It still takes some thickening, and I haven't tried anything other than flour. The yogurt may split if it gets too hot IME, so I'd simmer enough to thicken with just the broth or other liquid, then add the yogurt and heat more gently just until nicely warmed. (Different brands of yogurt may behave differently.)

That's one option to consider for lightening stroganoff. There are lots of lower-calorie/lightened beef stroganoff recipes online, but I usually just mess with things rather than following recipes.

lisakatz2

I found this:

https://sweetsavoryandsteph.com/healthy-beef-stroganoff/

Looks pretty good, uses a mixture of sour cream and nonfat yogurt. Don't know about the olive oil cooking spray......I've found that when I cook with nonstick spray the pan dries out quickly. Maybe just use a smaller amount of oil?

Corina1143

My very wise dietitian told me:
Take 100 calories a day for what you WANT, rather than need. Your soul needs it. It can be a mini candy bar or bite of ice cream if you're a sweets person. Or it can be full fat milk instead of skim(my personal choice).

lisakatz2

Every failed diet I've ever started began with the conviction "No chocolate!"

AnnPT77

lisakatz2 wrote: »

I found this:

https://sweetsavoryandsteph.com/healthy-beef-stroganoff/

Looks pretty good, uses a mixture of sour cream and nonfat yogurt. Don't know about the olive oil cooking spray......I've found that when I cook with nonstick spray the pan dries out quickly. Maybe just use a smaller amount of oil?

I usually use liquid oil for cooking (like in a frying or saute pan), but don't use very much, usually less than 5 grams, and 3 is often enough (noting that I'm cooking for one, so this would be something like an 8 inch frying pan). It matters a bit what's cooking.

Spray olive oil should be just like liquid olive oil, if the same amount, though, unless there's some kind of additional ingredient listed that might change things. Some just have oil. Some nonstick sprays have an emulsifier, like lecithin, and that performs differently. If it's just oil, the spray can can go on the scale, zero then spray, put back on scale to read the amount used. Weighing is better for oil, anyway: It's calorie dense, and the label value of zero calories is for like a fraction of a second spray. That's not enough for most anything that really needs oil at all, I think.

Cooking with less oil IME also goes better if I manage the heat level carefully.