What is WRONG with people?!?!

ThriceBlessed

I have a rule regarding my fitness and nutrition plans, and that is that I do not discuss my fitness and nutrition plans with anyone in real life who is not someone with whom I train. Period.

If someone happens to ask me about my fitness and nutrition programs, and I think that they are seriously asking for help, then I will offer assistance. If I do not think that they are serious, then I will respond with something along the lines of "I don't really work out much."

I have this rule, too. I have honed it over many years. If you're into this stuff for long enough, you'll work out sooner or later it bores the tits off most people. Most of the rest already think they know better than you but actually don't have any clue about it. A slim remainder are actually on your wavelength about it.

So that's what is happening to my tits?
I just thought they were shrinking due to weight loss, but now I know I can blame others for boring them off!

I'm off to start a new thread on the true reason for boob shrinkage.

LOL! :laugh:

aphroditesmaiden

People who aren't involved in weight loss usually don't understand it. Wait til you get the, "Don't lose any more weight" comments. I started getting those when I was 160lbs... I'm 5'4''... Is anyone f*#$ing home? ... Facebook just... kinda sucks.

RoseTears143

If you are doing T25 with a foot injury that flares up but don't want to start jogging and walking - that makes no sense to me at all. T25 is a hardcore program

MizTerry

Why does that bother you?
That was Facebook.
This is MFP. This is why I spend most of my time HERE.

peeaanuut

the common logic of the world is that fat people are stupid. Their logic seems to transcend into other things.

"Oh you're too stupid to eat right, you must not be able to operate a car properly"
"Of course your computer crashed, you're fat"

Its a pretty ignorant way of thinking, but in general, people think fat people are stupid, so when we put our goals out there that we have all thought long and hard on most people think we dont know what we are doing and discount it as us being stupid. The worst part is that they dont realize they are doing it, its just 2nd nature to them.


I general I go with the "suck it" attitude now. Im not doing this for anyone else, Im doing it for me and if others cant get with me on my goals about me, they can suck it.

lilawolf

Sounds like you have a good, well thought out plan. Stick to it and ignore everyone else. She probably meant well, but some people really, REALLY want to help :-p. Here is my spot of unsolicited advice: If you like zombies and you think a little fun might make your runs (when you get there) more enjoyable, try Zombies, Run! They have a 5k trainer (that I haven't tried), but you are playing a listening to a story and accomplishing missions by running. Sounds like fun lol. You can also play your own music in between story bits.

Anywho, good luck!

judilockwood

WOW you do T25, that sounds so hard!! I train 3 or 4 times a week but probs not as hard as that with good results - I might try T25 and see what happens, nearly at goal. I'm now looking at maintenance and this might help my exercise program. Point is, only do what you're comfortable with, you know your body better than anyone else, and should progress without risking hurting yourself x

AglaeaC

The way I see it...and this is strictly my view of it.....I think the person who was responding to you on facebook was trying to point out to you that you don't have to be a certain weight to start the C25K program.

In the C25K group I have seen several 200+ people start and complete the program successfully. And that includes some people that were closer to the 250/300 pound mark. If you are walking 5+ miles a day, you are more than ready for something like C25K. I understand your wanting to be below 200 pounds to start, and if that is what you -want- to do then fine.

But I honestly don't think it is fair to vent anger about someone who was only trying to encourage you to not look at weight as a something that holds you back.

This.

Thanks everyone, I am pretty sure the person meant it as encouragement.

Why ask what's wrong with them then? Publicly criticizing friends hardly is constructive. Either you dwell on it or you ignore and move one. If you don't want a vast array of advice and comments, keep your plans to yourself. I only started posting about my successes on FB after I had created something of a habit of C25K, but I still don't invite to a deep analysis of what my plan is; it's none of their business.

pg1derful

Years ago I had a friend who asked me if she could run with me. She was a bigger woman with asthma. She started jogging for 30 seconds with 3-4 minutes in between. After a few weeks she could jog for longer periods with less rest and we eventually ran a marathon together in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. My point is she did what worked for her and I didn't try to push her in any way (even though I was a seasoned runner). It was a great experience for both of us. Take your time and listen to your body.

garber6th

the common logic of the world is that fat people are stupid. Their logic seems to transcend into other things.

"Oh you're too stupid to eat right, you must not be able to operate a car properly"
"Of course your computer crashed, you're fat"

Its a pretty ignorant way of thinking, but in general, people think fat people are stupid, so when we put our goals out there that we have all thought long and hard on most people think we dont know what we are doing and discount it as us being stupid. The worst part is that they dont realize they are doing it, its just 2nd nature to them.


I general I go with the "suck it" attitude now. Im not doing this for anyone else, Im doing it for me and if others cant get with me on my goals about me, they can suck it.

Seriously, a lot of this. I actually told someone who was trying to give me some not so great advice, "I'm fat, not retarded".

I really try not to talk about my weight loss with too many people, and I don't post on FB. Only close friends and family know what I am doing, and even then I don't go into a whole lot of detail. Everyone wants to give their two cents worth, everyone thinks they know what's best, but not everyone knows what's best for me.

clownfear_7

Let's not call it "non-support", but altternative support. I'm sure the person meant well, so take it for what it probably was and maybe don't let it get deeper than that. Unless they are a close friend, take it all with a grain of salt.
As far as your goal I am 100% with you. I used to weigh 330 lbs and would never have considered back then that I would be a runner. I am down to 242 and though I might not consider myself a runner, I do run. My knees still cannot stand the regular pounding without me being in some form of pain the next day. But I live in an area surrounded by hills and mountains and I love to get in them and run. I am currently training for a 5k obstacle course mud run (runforyourlives.com). I have a goal to lose 15 lbs or so this month because I know that getting the extra weight off will have a significant impact on how well I can do the course.
It seems to me that you have a good plan. I like that you have a plan that is less about weight and more about preparedness for the run. It can be self-defeating sometimes to have too much focus on weight loss rather than progress or fitness.
Keep it up!

slim4health56

There is actually a study that says that if you discuss your goals and plans you are less likely to achieve them. After reading an article about that study, I've kept mum about my plans and goals.

I'm about to reach a milestone this weekend. I'll share the info after the fact, though. I haven't told anyone what I'm up to, and I'm approaching my goal much faster than I would have guessed.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/05/12/talking-the-talk.html

Interesting article. Thanks for posting! Our sense of identity plays out in so many ways...

LassoOfTruth

That's why I keep my exercise/diet/healthy living "statuses" to MFP.

PaulHalicki

I have a rule for FB. If I post something, and you post a comment that I don't like, I delete it. You can do that, you know- you can delete anything that's posted to your wall. For instance, I have "friends" that sometimes will turn my remarks into political discussions. Sometimes I'm up for it and don't mind debating, but sometimes I just don't want to deal with it, so I just delete the annoying comment.

Had you deleted the first comment, the person who was pushing you would get the idea. If not, deleting their subsequent comments would get the point across. If they protested that you hurt their feelings, just inform them that what they were commenting was not what you were looking for, and leave it at that.

PaulHalicki

I thought if you told people your goals you were MORE likely to reach them. That's what I've heard anyway. I don't know.

That's the way I am. If I keep it to myself, it's easier to cheat. If I tell the people around me, I don't want to say one thing and do something else, so I stick to the diet.

I rode 25 miles on my bicycle yesterday. I planned to stop for one beer at a pub about halfway through. As it turned out there was a promotion going on and lots of friends were there, having lots of beers. I settled down at a table with some friends and told them I was just there for one beer because I was on an exercise ride. I ended up staying longer than I wanted to, but I stuck to the one beer, and even resisted a slice of pizza that was offered to me.

When I weighed in another pound lighter this morning, I was glad I'd told my friends that I wasn't there to party, and stuck with it.

ereck44

Hi,
I like your goals! I think that it is totally reasonable to do what you can to lose as much weight as you can first and then formulate a plan to reach your goals.
My city has a mini-marathon that I am thinking about participating in next year (May). I have been making goals to improve my cardio and have decreased my treadmill time from 16.7 miles/minute to 11.02 miles per minute (in a year's time). I picked up a couple of runner's magazine to get inspiration and training ideas..
Facebook, in my estimation, is a terrible place to post fitness goals. MFP is the place! Lots of knowledgeable and supportive people here.
Good luck in achieving your goals.

mike_ny

That's a great long term goal, but people tend to think in the short term and have a hard time thinking of you other than you are at this point in time. They are most likely projecting that THEY could never achieve anything requiring that amount of work and dedication and don't want you to feel bad if you don't succeed as they surely wouldn't.

We all also default to short term when the long term goals don't seem to be quite within reach like when we slide or plateau, so it's good to have a few short term milestones that you can reach along the way. Those are also the ones you may want to share with your friends and social networking so you don't get kind of push back you experienced.

My main long term goal was to be able to do 15 or more pull ups. I've never been able to do more than maybe 5 or so chin ups when I was a lot younger and pull ups are definitely harder than chin ups. If I told my friends (also in their late 40s & 50s) that was my goal back when I was at 32+% body fat and a 40+ inch waist, they would have acted as if I said I wanted to climb mount Everest in record time. And realistically, I knew that dropping a good 40 lbs and getting my body fat down in the mid 20s were the minimal first steps before even seriously think about trying to successfully do pull ups. It's been eight months and I did drop 40 pounds and did get down to 24% body fat. My friends are totally blown away at that progress when all I told them were my intermediate goals; go from obese to overweight, go from overweight to normal range, and to fit back in my old clothes. My old clothes are now too big and I had to buy some new clothes, and I've been consistently building strength by lifting weights and other workouts to keep lowering body fat and achieve my long term goals. I'll be working in some chin ups soon and then sharing my 15 pull up goal won't seem anywhere as far fetched to anyone as it would have eight months or a year ago.

ktsimons

What is it that makes some people think they know what's best for everyone?

They're worse when they mean well. "You should try my hairdresser!" "You should see my doctor!" "You should make sauce exactly the way I make it!" "All my things are awesome, try my things, which I like!"

REALLY? You actually KNOW my sister in law?? LOL

workout_ninja

I dont post anything about my fitness or diet on facebook unless I have acheived something awesome. I use MFP for everything fitness and diet related

slim4health56

Okay, so earlier this evening I posted the following status on my Facebook page: "Okay, so I want to be able to run a 5K by next June. I've never been a runner. Even as a child I avoided running if at all possible, but now I am seeing this as something I'd like to start. I don't know if I'll sign up for an actual race, and I don't know if it will take me that long to be fit enough to do it, I may be ready before then. I'll officially start the couch to 5k plan in April if all goes well, but in the meantime I am working on losing as much weight as I can, I'd really like to be under 200 before I start the couch to 5k plan. So for now I'm continuing with T25 and lots of walking, plus counting every calorie that I consume. I guess I am officially in training now, but the first phase of the training is just general fitness, and the actual running training will begin when I am fit enough to do so without hurting myself."

Now, instead of just getting encouraging likes and "you can do it" remarks, I get someone trying to talk me into doing it sooner, or doing a half marathon instead. I reply to them, "I weigh 254 pounds, and have a foot injury that flares up when my weight gets higher than 230. I want to take the time to lose 55 pounds before I even start the running phase of the training."

And they continue to try to "encourage me" to push myself harder and go for it sooner.

I reply again, "What I am planning is to continue watching what I eat and working out for September - March or April that's 7-8 months, at around a 2 pound loss per week I'd be able to lose 56 pounds in 7 months, so I did put thought into the timing of the running. I want to be under 200 pounds before I ask my foot to take the pounding running will put on it."

Then they finally suggest walking a 5k... well, I walk not 5 kilometers, but 5 miles EVERY DAY, sometimes more. So walking a 5K isn't really a goal to aim for, I've exceeded that long ago. I want to take it slow and work up to running so that I don't injure myself and become unable to work out at all, is that so hard to understand?

What is it that makes some people think they know what's best for everyone?

I think it's the title of your post that I find slightly offensive...better yet to ask "what is wrong with me?" before assuming any one individual can speak to "what's wrong" with anyone else. That said, I don't use FB, but was wondering...did you clarify that all comments need to be "encouraging likes and "you can do it" remarks" on your FB wall? If I post a comment in a public forum, I EXPECT to get a range of comments because it's a public forum. Just sayin'...