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Is the Fitness community becoming toxic?
Replies
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I don't take friends requests from any male. I had one guy who I friended who, like you, started asking me all sorts of personal questions like if I was married, if I was happily married, if I had kids, etc. When I asked him why he joined MFP and what his health/fitness goals were, I got no response.
I deleted all my (female) friends because none of them were posting. What is the point? Just so they could keep a list of friends? They never private messaged me either.3 -
MFP Community? Yeah, some frustration with one-time posters, people who just want affirmation of what they do, unrealistic expectations forged in the blogosphere, that kind of thing. There are also a few people who do read replies and consider seriously, which feels rewarding.
But maybe perversely, what's really getting to me here, what has me discouraged and considering quitting, is the number of posts talking about how terrible the Community is. I feel like "why bother".
Because some of us really value your input, and that of people like @springlering62, and I like the debates where some of the long standing keto peeps (sorry - menopause buffer brain - can’t remember handles!) put their side.
I’ve learnt a lot and still appreciate the value of the boards. I do however have to frequently google some of the foodstuffs you peeps from the US talk about 🤣🤣
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Hangry_catapilar wrote: »I normally accept anyone that asks for a friend request, but the last few were of some (likely the same person) asking weird questions of me and wanting to know my location of where I live. 3 different names so I just have to watch out now.
I used to have pages and pages of friends list (at one time almost 40 pages) and now it's down to like 12. Every month I go through and if someone hasn't posted in a month, I delete them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
But I only asked for your long card number??? 😁😉
There’s one guy who always asks what kind of device I’m using 🤔 I have told him so many times now it depends where he wants it inserted 🤷🏻♀️
Hacker maybe?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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IMO, virtually anyone who calls themselves an influencer isn't worth the powder to blow them to hell.3
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Some are actually pretty down to Earth. I have a friend who doesn't have a lot of followers, but she teaches and inspires overweight females with exercise programs and support. But most influencers are just out there to try to get famous and just make money.Theoldguy1 wrote: »IMO, virtually anyone who calls themselves an influencer isn't worth the powder to blow them to hell.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I think the online world has generated toxicity no matter what (much easier to be a keyboard warrior behind the safety of a screen), and the more online things have become, the worse it has become - regardless of the community in question.
For example, years ago I joined a local motorcycle forum. FB was still very new and required a college email to join still (did I just show my age lol). People would sometimes get to be a bit toxic in the forum, BUT, it never got crazy because you knew you were going to run into people IRL too - and they'd call you out on it.
Now, it's global connections, with little to no threat of having to face what you're saying, so the attention wins out.
Fitness and health specifically, I guess I pick and choose and pass over the ones I don't like, so it's not really something that bothers me that much. I am more likely to be bothered by the over-acceptance of generally unhealthy choices and living - from obesity to using drugs to solve a self control problem.2 -
Late to the party to comment, wanted to point out how all things tend to ebb and flow like the tides. Years back I posted about a desire to look good before a high school reunion to show the girls who ignored me in school what they were missing; I got absolutely lambasted here, had to ask a forum moderator to completely remove the thread. Fast forward to today, and there's a very popular thread asking people what selfish reason they had to get fit, and it's largely well-received.
Are there fewer threads remaining active now than a decade ago? Yep. But the ones which interest me, I will continue to post within, as this MFP community is my only real social outlet. IRL I have my family and an old school friend who lives 12 hours away, with whom I talk by phone daily, and my church choir. That's it, that's my social circle. But here on the forums I can speak and be heard, so until the day I try to login and find the entire site torn down, I will continue to frequent and post.
Especially in the newcomers area, fully aware that 99% of the people I greet may never post again. Why bother? Because of that 1% who do, who feel self-conscious about trying us out, and need to be enthusiastically greeted and made to feel they ARE heard, they DO belong. I once saw a post from somebody who complained they had been around for 3 months without being acknowledged and were leaving as a result. Not on my watch; not while I can meet them at the door, shake their hand, usher them inside to a seat at the table of learning.10 -
Late to the party to comment, wanted to point out how all things tend to ebb and flow like the tides. Years back I posted about a desire to look good before a high school reunion to show the girls who ignored me in school what they were missing; I got absolutely lambasted here, had to ask a forum moderator to completely remove the thread. Fast forward to today, and there's a very popular thread asking people what selfish reason they had to get fit, and it's largely well-received.
Are there fewer threads remaining active now than a decade ago? Yep. But the ones which interest me, I will continue to post within, as this MFP community is my only real social outlet. IRL I have my family and an old school friend who lives 12 hours away, with whom I talk by phone daily, and my church choir. That's it, that's my social circle. But here on the forums I can speak and be heard, so until the day I try to login and find the entire site torn down, I will continue to frequent and post.
Especially in the newcomers area, fully aware that 99% of the people I greet may never post again. Why bother? Because of that 1% who do, who feel self-conscious about trying us out, and need to be enthusiastically greeted and made to feel they ARE heard, they DO belong. I once saw a post from somebody who complained they had been around for 3 months without being acknowledged and were leaving as a result. Not on my watch; not while I can meet them at the door, shake their hand, usher them inside to a seat at the table of learning.
Bold is mine...
Completely agree.
/end on that... proceeding to add my own 2cents...
In all the social media noise, and within all our personal realworld interactions.... MFP is a place we can meet and thoughtfully discuss and consider related topics and approaches... in a place where we can expect thougutful replies, even if replies are to the contrary... I don't have that irl or even most other social media platforms, and prefer and value conversation here.
Imho, it makes a profound difference in my weight management process to stumble across 'new to me' info here on the boards, and I agree, reaching out to newcomers can help people feel welcome and join the conversation. We were all new once, and feeling welcome can help.
Otherwise, there is vigorous debate here and often real conflict in points of view, sometimes hotly debated, sometimes met with hilarity. We can join in or pass...
Personally, I am here primarily for food management within weight management, but am interested in learning more within the physical fitness as well, so i do read those topics too.
Overall, and even in the 'debate' forum, seems the boards are fairly heavily moderated which can squelch participation, but it also allows for real conversation and viewpoint exchange. I am glad we have MFP, however long it lasts... I have not found a thriving, alternative site with equivalent format and tools at this time.
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It's so true. Like you, my life revolves around what I have to get done daily. So working out, then work, then come home and cook, clean up, rest a little and then repeat. My days off I still workout, but instead of work, I'll do projects or chores around the house. But the once consistent thing I always do is, post here because I know that it's really the only outlet I have where I can see my progress or lack there of. If there's no goal for me, then life tends to get really mundane. But like you, I get to interact with people I'm sure I'd love to meet in real life. Lol, and for you to be in my league makes it even more cool to be able to connect with you more.Late to the party to comment, wanted to point out how all things tend to ebb and flow like the tides. Years back I posted about a desire to look good before a high school reunion to show the girls who ignored me in school what they were missing; I got absolutely lambasted here, had to ask a forum moderator to completely remove the thread. Fast forward to today, and there's a very popular thread asking people what selfish reason they had to get fit, and it's largely well-received.
Are there fewer threads remaining active now than a decade ago? Yep. But the ones which interest me, I will continue to post within, as this MFP community is my only real social outlet. IRL I have my family and an old school friend who lives 12 hours away, with whom I talk by phone daily, and my church choir. That's it, that's my social circle. But here on the forums I can speak and be heard, so until the day I try to login and find the entire site torn down, I will continue to frequent and post.
Especially in the newcomers area, fully aware that 99% of the people I greet may never post again. Why bother? Because of that 1% who do, who feel self-conscious about trying us out, and need to be enthusiastically greeted and made to feel they ARE heard, they DO belong. I once saw a post from somebody who complained they had been around for 3 months without being acknowledged and were leaving as a result. Not on my watch; not while I can meet them at the door, shake their hand, usher them inside to a seat at the table of learning.
But are you ready for some FOOTBALL NOW!!!! Good luck to your home team. 9ers are almost at full strength again (can't wait till Hufanga and Greenlaw are back on the field).
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I was banned from the boards years ago because I got into a personal back and forth match with a guy who ran a FFL league on here and I called him out for collusion. We both got banned but I eventually appealed and got back on the boards and even became a moderator at one point.Adventurista wrote: »Late to the party to comment, wanted to point out how all things tend to ebb and flow like the tides. Years back I posted about a desire to look good before a high school reunion to show the girls who ignored me in school what they were missing; I got absolutely lambasted here, had to ask a forum moderator to completely remove the thread. Fast forward to today, and there's a very popular thread asking people what selfish reason they had to get fit, and it's largely well-received.
Are there fewer threads remaining active now than a decade ago? Yep. But the ones which interest me, I will continue to post within, as this MFP community is my only real social outlet. IRL I have my family and an old school friend who lives 12 hours away, with whom I talk by phone daily, and my church choir. That's it, that's my social circle. But here on the forums I can speak and be heard, so until the day I try to login and find the entire site torn down, I will continue to frequent and post.
Especially in the newcomers area, fully aware that 99% of the people I greet may never post again. Why bother? Because of that 1% who do, who feel self-conscious about trying us out, and need to be enthusiastically greeted and made to feel they ARE heard, they DO belong. I once saw a post from somebody who complained they had been around for 3 months without being acknowledged and were leaving as a result. Not on my watch; not while I can meet them at the door, shake their hand, usher them inside to a seat at the table of learning.
Bold is mine...
Completely agree.
/end on that... proceeding to add my own 2cents...
In all the social media noise, and within all our personal realworld interactions.... MFP is a place we can meet and thoughtfully discuss and consider related topics and approaches... in a place where we can expect thougutful replies, even if replies are to the contrary... I don't have that irl or even most other social media platforms, and prefer and value conversation here.
Imho, it makes a profound difference in my weight management process to stumble across 'new to me' info here on the boards, and I agree, reaching out to newcomers can help people feel welcome and join the conversation. We were all new once, and feeling welcome can help.
Otherwise, there is vigorous debate here and often real conflict in points of view, sometimes hotly debated, sometimes met with hilarity. We can join in or pass...
Personally, I am here primarily for food management within weight management, but am interested in learning more within the physical fitness as well, so i do read those topics too.
Overall, and even in the 'debate' forum, seems the boards are fairly heavily moderated which can squelch participation, but it also allows for real conversation and viewpoint exchange. I am glad we have MFP, however long it lasts... I have not found a thriving, alternative site with equivalent format and tools at this time.
But I appealed because I had been very active on the community for years and have several threads I started on my own (some mired in controversy..............my pregnant mom thread was crazy). But I enjoy the daily convo I see on here and truly do like to help people that need advice whether they take it or not. In my business, just reaching 1 or 2 people out of 20 is a good win.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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@ninerbuff - remarkable, and gr8 you were unbanned! Sometimes shared info helps later and we may never even know... or helps others who read.
It seems harder to sort true info in searches anymore; a person can get whiplash from opposing info, so it's a good thing to have a place like this.
After decades of significant changes in weight management theory, i just wish there could be certainty that what we're hearing now is true. Some of the things pushed turn out so harmful.1 -
Over the years I had to change my stance on certain programs, techniques, approaches, etc. due to researching more and finding empirical evidence that debunked what I believed to be stout and true. That's the great thing about science. With everchanging information, you have to be objective and open enough to also change with it regardless of what some of your past experience may have been.Adventurista wrote: »@ninerbuff - remarkable, and gr8 you were unbanned! Sometimes shared info helps later and we may never even know... or helps others who read.
It seems harder to sort true info in searches anymore; a person can get whiplash from opposing info, so it's a good thing to have a place like this.
After decades of significant changes in weight management theory, i just wish there could be certainty that what we're hearing now is true. Some of the things pushed turn out so harmful.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
4 -
MFP Community? Yeah, some frustration with one-time posters, people who just want affirmation of what they do, unrealistic expectations forged in the blogosphere, that kind of thing. There are also a few people who do read replies and consider seriously, which feels rewarding.
But maybe perversely, what's really getting to me here, what has me discouraged and considering quitting, is the number of posts talking about how terrible the Community is. I feel like "why bother".
Aww, don't give up, Anne! You and @springlering62 and @ninerbuff all make my day better any time I show up on MFP.
I was off for a week while traveling in late June, came back for three days, then was off the rest of the summer (and boy did my weight creep up!) but I'm back now. Autumn means school's in session, everyone in my house has their routines, and I do better with daily tracking.3 -
I'm sure I'm being a big ol' bore when I post the rest of this.
I posted earlier in the thread about how very non-toxic my personal fitness community - in the form of my rowing club (and Y) - is.
I'm really jazzed about that right now. September 12, we had a new person - a graduate student (from Germany) at the local university, experienced sculler - be mentioned to our rowing club by the university's crew club coach. She wasn't eligible to join that club, but could join us.
By Saturday September 14, she was rowing in a quad with our club as a guest rower in a coached row. By today, September 19, she has rowed 3 times - running out her generic 3 free "guest rows" - but also has joined the club at a reduced (partial) rate for the rest of the season. On top of that, four different members of our club have offered her rides to group rowing outings (she only has a bike, no car) and two of those have actually driven her there to row so far. (I'm one.)
BTW, she's delighted to have made so many new friends of all ages so quickly in her new city.
This is an example of (local) fitness culture being pretty darned non-toxic, I think.
P.S. I know this isn't where the thread initially started, so maybe not on topic. But I know lots of people read threads here, some of whom feel anxious about how they'll be received if they start being active. This young woman is an experienced rower. But I guarantee you, this is exactly the kind of warmth and support new rowers from our learn-to-row class get from day one, even if they're kind of struggling at first. In my experience, that warmth and support isn't unique to just this club. There are a lot of good people and fitness subcultures in the world, and they can be found. I don't want anyone to be afraid to look, or - if they hit a speed bump on try #1 - to think that's how all fitness activities are everywhere.2 -
bump
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Another vote for not all fitness communities being toxic: I now have the dubious pleasure of saying that a kind paralympian saved me when I was pinned under the bar doing bench 🤣 (he wasn’t a paralympian then, then just an incredibly strong chap who lifted the sad amount of weight off me with one hand!)
I’d also add that every weightlifting competition I’ve attended has been incredibly supportive. No one cheers harder than the competitors.3
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