Coaching issues

tulips_and_tea

Since your coach is someone you know and you'll presumably continue to see at the gym, I'd treat this merely as a business transaction and tell him matter-of-factly that the arrangement isn't working out and see if you can get a refund. Even a partial. Leave emotion out of it and clearly and firmly state your request.

Given all the advice here, I think you're better off on your own or perhaps with another coach at a later date that listens to you. I wouldn't put up with not being heard and "told" what to eat. This is something you're doing for your health. No need to deal with mental distress brought on by a coach-client relationship that just doesn't mesh.

AnnPT77

zfitgal wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

zfitgal wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

zfitgal wrote: »

I also asked him for the macros and he said if he gives them to me I won’t have noticeable physical changes. Because I was counting macros before and I wasn’t getting anywhere. Well, I hired him because I wanted to restore my metabolism because I was down to 1400 and couldn’t lose anymore. My goal was to bring calories up and put on some muscle and recomp for a few months and then go back into a defecit to lose that last 10-15 pounds….

I agree with others about the big-advice part of this: This coach isn't serving your needs. If you can let him go, do. If you don't let him go, then at least just stop following this diet that isn't working for you? He doesn't watch you eat, right? It's OK to tell him that you're over him policing reviewing your eating, and you'll continue on your own with the eating side now that you have the right understanding. He doesn't need to know that your right understanding is that his eating rules don't work for you, if you don't want to tell him. Just don't talk about it. It's OK to be firm and assertive.

If your refusing to talk with him about diet ticks him off, and he starts balking at coaching you when you won't comply, (1) he's a jerk, and (2) use that as a reason to ask for your money back.

You could consider consulting a sports-specialized registered dietitian.

zfitgal wrote: »

I plugged in the macros for this week and they’re different from last week. I’m so confused. He says we are recomping which we are and I visually see it. My weight is staying the same but we’re not increasing calories. I thought we were supposed to bring my calories up for a bit before we go into a defecit again, which was my goal. I was at 1760 last week and now 2 days I’m at 1300 and the third I jump up to 1900. I don’t know what he’s doing but I feel lost.

(snip for length)

I still think you should ignore this guy, fire him if feasible.

You say you see that you are recomping. The basic definition of recomping is staying at about the same weight, but increasing the proportion of muscle vs. fat. It's a slow route, but it can work. If you feel comfortable (though not ideal) at this weight, it would be an option - your call - to back-burner intentional fat loss for a while, and go into a deficit again later.

When we suggest you stick with his macro/calories, here's a thing: Macros are not really an exactly exact every day kind of thing. If you want to continue his macros (optional), look at the averages over a week or two.

On the calorie front, he may be just dishing nonsense, or he may be "calorie cycling" you, i.e., higher days and lower days intentionally, possibly in some pattern or possibly around workouts. IMO, the evidence is very limited that "calorie cycling" is an amazing approach (but I'm not a bodybuilding expert, by far).

Since your weight is steady, and as long as that's been true for a few weeks, the implication is that the average calories you've been eating are about your current maintenance calories. That's useful knowledge going forward.

You can decide what your #1 priority is, and I have to admit that after reading your posts I'm a little confused about what that is: Muscle gain, fat loss, recomp, increasing maintenance calories, or something else. Those are not goals that are fully compatible with each other (in the short run). At any given time, IMO it's going to be necessary to choose, and that's 100% your choice. (Yes, you can work at one for some weeks/months, reassess and move to another priority, etc.)

To be clear: I'm not saying YOU don't know what your priority is, just that I as a reader don't know.

I feel like some of the replies here are assuming that your priority is one or the other of those things, and giving advice accordingly, which seems to me just to add to the confusion.

Again, underscoring, I do feel like the main advice here is right, that this coach is not right for you. It's your call about whether it's so bad that you should totally cut your losses and drop him (despite the contract cost), or continue on (possibly ignoring the parts of his advice that are making you very unhappy, which seems mainly to be the eating side).

Retroguy2000 wrote: »

(snip very good post to unfairly pick on one piece)

As for macros, get your protein total in grams daily, and you should have 20% to 30% in fats, and whatever left in carbs. You need the protein and fats more than carbs, though ofc carbs help with energy levels for working out so you may want to time the carbs to be around your workouts.
(more snip)

I'd suggest getting fats goal in grams, too, with something in the range of minimum 0.35-0.45g daily per pound of healthy bodyweight, so around 50-65g. Since I'm unclear what your calorie goal will end up, 20-30% (especially that lower end) could be a bit too low to be ideal. IMO, women can need a bit higher fats intake than men. Also, men tend to have somewhat higher calorie needs at any given weight, so percentages are kind of a squishy method for estimating fats needs for that reason, too.

Best wishes!

Thank you so much for this! I really appreciate your kindness and support. My goal at the moment is to come out of a fat burning state and get my calories up to maintenance and stay here for a while so my metabolism and body can readjust. During that time I will be lifting so I’d love to put on some more muscle. I am looking to go into a deficit at the end of October. I don’t know if I am considered lightly active or active on MyFitnessPal. I am a very active exerciser and an active person in general. I weight training five days a week and do cardio three Days a week for 45 minutes and the other two days I do the stairmaster for 30 minutes each. During the day I do run around and get about 10,000 steps in. So I really don’t know what to build my maintenance calories up to. At what point do I say OK this is where I’m staying for a while? My goal with this coach was to bring my metabolism up and re-cut my body in maintenance and then go into a deficit. I do agree. I do not think this coach is for me and I do feel I can do this myself.

If you're confident that 1700 is a reasonable estimate of your average over the past 6 weeks, and you've stayed weight stable approximately over that time, then there's no reason to worry about MFP's estimate, which may or may not be accurate for you.

If you're not confident that 1700 is a reasonable estimate, but it's your current best guess based on experience, I'd say maybe eat that on average for at least the next full menstrual cycle (so you can compare body weight at the same relative point in at least two different cycles). Based on weight change over those weeks, you could adjust the calorie goal based on the assumption that 500 calories per day is about a pound a week (using arithmetic for partial pounds).

Many-week experience-based calorie estimates are better than calculator estimates. IMO, calculator estimates are just to give a person a reasonable science-based starting point for gathering that experience, which takes 4-6 weeks (or whole menstrual cycles).

Once you have a reasonable experiential maintenance calorie estimate, there would be two options IMO if you want to try to bump maintenance calories up a bit. One would be simply to eat the estimated maintenance calories, and keep lifting with a program that's proven helpful to you. Then if weight starts to creep down (or you feel fatigued or weak for a bit), add some daily calories to stabilize, and keep going in that way.

The other would be as Retro suggests, to add 100 calories daily, then keep monitoring and see what happens, add more later.

I don't have a confident guess as to whether 1700 calories means it's questionable that "you'll get much higher than your current 1700 without weight gain though". Maybe, maybe not. People differ.

You don't say how tall or old you are, but my best guess would be that many athletic women would have maintenance calories above that, even before adding in extra calories for cardio that they may do. (I'm around your goal weight, and I do; though I admit I'm mysteriously a good li'l ol' calorie burner for my demographic even though I'm probably way older. But it seems like quite a few women in maintenance here of various ages are eating above 1700, though obviously not all.)

I’m 5”4 and I am 38 years old. I have consistently been eating between 1700-1760. For the past 6 weeks. When I started with this coach he put me right on a meal plan with these calories. I started with him at 146 and since my starting date I stayed with in the the 145 range fluctuating oz ex 145.4, 145.6…

I'd call that maintenance calories at this point then . . . which could change over time, so keep an eye on weight trend IF what you decide to do is maintain and lift hard for the time being.

If reverse dieting (in some form works), I'd predict it wouldn't be very quick.

FWIW, mainly so you can gauge my intuitions about calorie needs/responses (which differ between individuals but statistically speaking will differ more the more different the people are in age, height, weight, sex, and activity level): I'm 5'5", mid-130s pounds, female, 68, pretty sedentary outside of intentional exercise (and I'm one of those eat back exercise calories people - which I'm not saying you need to be).

spiriteagle99

Are you eating back your exercise calories? Do you carefully weigh or measure everything you eat? 1700 calories seems low for someone who is very active on a daily basis, unless you are also eating back your exercise calories or are undercounting what you eat.

FWIW - like Ann, I am an older female (67), 5'6", 123 lbs., and sedentary aside from deliberate exercise. I log my food and activity and eat back all exercise calories. My base is 1600 calories, plus what I burn from daily walks, runs and biking. My average is about 2100 calories a day. I've been maintaining for about 10 years.

zfitgal

spiriteagle99 wrote: »

Are you eating back your exercise calories? Do you carefully weigh or measure everything you eat? 1700 calories seems low for someone who is very active on a daily basis, unless you are also eating back your exercise calories or are undercounting what you eat.

FWIW - like Ann, I am an older female (67), 5'6", 123 lbs., and sedentary aside from deliberate exercise. I log my food and activity and eat back all exercise calories. My base is 1600 calories, plus what I burn from daily walks, runs and biking. My average is about 2100 calories a day. I've been maintaining for about 10 years.

I do not eat back my exercise calories. I fired my coach! And now I’m doing this in my own and I’m a bit nervous. I think I’m going to recomp and increase calories, maybe by the end of November/December I’ll start my deficit again. I’d love to get my calories up to 2100-2200 and maintain there for a bit. I’m at 1850 right now

tomcustombuilder

zfitgal wrote: »

spiriteagle99 wrote: »

Are you eating back your exercise calories? Do you carefully weigh or measure everything you eat? 1700 calories seems low for someone who is very active on a daily basis, unless you are also eating back your exercise calories or are undercounting what you eat.

FWIW - like Ann, I am an older female (67), 5'6", 123 lbs., and sedentary aside from deliberate exercise. I log my food and activity and eat back all exercise calories. My base is 1600 calories, plus what I burn from daily walks, runs and biking. My average is about 2100 calories a day. I've been maintaining for about 10 years.

I do not eat back my exercise calories. I fired my coach! And now I’m doing this in my own and I’m a bit nervous. I think I’m going to recomp and increase calories, maybe by the end of November/December I’ll start my deficit again. I’d love to get my calories up to 2100-2200 and maintain there for a bit. I’m at 1850 right now

if you increase calories you can expect some fat gain.

zfitgal

tomcustombuilder wrote: »

zfitgal wrote: »

spiriteagle99 wrote: »

Are you eating back your exercise calories? Do you carefully weigh or measure everything you eat? 1700 calories seems low for someone who is very active on a daily basis, unless you are also eating back your exercise calories or are undercounting what you eat.

FWIW - like Ann, I am an older female (67), 5'6", 123 lbs., and sedentary aside from deliberate exercise. I log my food and activity and eat back all exercise calories. My base is 1600 calories, plus what I burn from daily walks, runs and biking. My average is about 2100 calories a day. I've been maintaining for about 10 years.

I do not eat back my exercise calories. I fired my coach! And now I’m doing this in my own and I’m a bit nervous. I think I’m going to recomp and increase calories, maybe by the end of November/December I’ll start my deficit again. I’d love to get my calories up to 2100-2200 and maintain there for a bit. I’m at 1850 right now

if you increase calories you can expect some fat gain.

We shall see….

ninerbuff

A competitor usually goes off of what HIS/HER coach tells them what to do FOR THEM. Not to mention these competitors are a chemical factory with so many PED's being used and that DEFINITELY contributes to how their physiques, metabolism, protein synthesis, etc. are processed versus someone who is natural. If they have to have a coach to do this and UNLESS he's certified, he's just using bro sclence to make money off his/her name because they compete by offering services. And trust me, because of their egos, they will tell you you aren't achieving because it's YOU not them.
As some said, you may have to write this off as a bad investment.
So what is your actual workout plan? Are you getting enough sleep and rest? Do you have a high stress job? How long do workout? There's more that I poke into with clients who have competed, but these are some questions I ask.


A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 40 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition