Watch out for predators

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Replies

  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,435 Member
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    robertw486 wrote: »
    Ladies, ladies, ladies. Now I actually do feel a bit bad. Because my comment on feeling stereotyped was mostly tongue in cheek, and they don't have a good crying laughing emoji. :) And I'm sure it's more men than women, but you would be surprised how many of those creepy interactions happen with women as well.

    BUT I do think everyone stereotypes to some extent, and it's somewhat human nature. Almost every female that has posted in this thread has shown they know that many guys can be creepy online. So that loops back to my common sense statement. If you know it happens quite often, just use more caution with those interactions. There is no reason to use anything other than public communications means unless you already know and trust someone to a level that assures you they are not just another creepy guy.

    If I want to see @claireychn074 s lats look like, I can ask her to post a photo in a forum thread and send me a link. In turn I can send a photo of my dog the same way, or on a public photo sharing site off of MFP. At least that way if someone does something creepy they will be exposed to all and likely banned.

    Be cautious and protect the alternative means these idiots use to do the creepy stuff.

    🤣

    But you have to admit, though a strange request it might not have been a full on creepy request. Though it is more rare these days, at least a few women that lift have had profile photos or posted photos showing their lats.

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,953 Member
    robertw486 wrote: »
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    robertw486 wrote: »
    Ladies, ladies, ladies. Now I actually do feel a bit bad. Because my comment on feeling stereotyped was mostly tongue in cheek, and they don't have a good crying laughing emoji. :) And I'm sure it's more men than women, but you would be surprised how many of those creepy interactions happen with women as well.

    BUT I do think everyone stereotypes to some extent, and it's somewhat human nature. Almost every female that has posted in this thread has shown they know that many guys can be creepy online. So that loops back to my common sense statement. If you know it happens quite often, just use more caution with those interactions. There is no reason to use anything other than public communications means unless you already know and trust someone to a level that assures you they are not just another creepy guy.

    If I want to see @claireychn074 s lats look like, I can ask her to post a photo in a forum thread and send me a link. In turn I can send a photo of my dog the same way, or on a public photo sharing site off of MFP. At least that way if someone does something creepy they will be exposed to all and likely banned.

    Be cautious and protect the alternative means these idiots use to do the creepy stuff.

    🤣

    But you have to admit, though a strange request it might not have been a full on creepy request. Though it is more rare these days, at least a few women that lift have had profile photos or posted photos showing their lats.

    Admission: I totally fan-girled on her lats on another thread. In public. ;)
  • claireychn074
    claireychn074 Posts: 1,710 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    robertw486 wrote: »
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    robertw486 wrote: »
    Ladies, ladies, ladies. Now I actually do feel a bit bad. Because my comment on feeling stereotyped was mostly tongue in cheek, and they don't have a good crying laughing emoji. :) And I'm sure it's more men than women, but you would be surprised how many of those creepy interactions happen with women as well.

    BUT I do think everyone stereotypes to some extent, and it's somewhat human nature. Almost every female that has posted in this thread has shown they know that many guys can be creepy online. So that loops back to my common sense statement. If you know it happens quite often, just use more caution with those interactions. There is no reason to use anything other than public communications means unless you already know and trust someone to a level that assures you they are not just another creepy guy.

    If I want to see @claireychn074 s lats look like, I can ask her to post a photo in a forum thread and send me a link. In turn I can send a photo of my dog the same way, or on a public photo sharing site off of MFP. At least that way if someone does something creepy they will be exposed to all and likely banned.

    Be cautious and protect the alternative means these idiots use to do the creepy stuff.

    🤣

    But you have to admit, though a strange request it might not have been a full on creepy request. Though it is more rare these days, at least a few women that lift have had profile photos or posted photos showing their lats.

    Admission: I totally fan-girled on her lats on another thread. In public. ;)

    I think we need an Only Lats, or Lats R Us at this rate! 🤣🤣
  • Retroguy2000
    Retroguy2000 Posts: 1,921 Member
    claireychn074 wrote: »
    I think we need an Only Lats, or Lats R Us at this rate! 🤣🤣
    you-keep-talking-pointing.gif
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,435 Member
    I forgot to mention.....

    During the course of this thread I got a FR from a female I thought looked familiar, but I wasn't sure. But I added her, and over a couple of DMs was suggested we chat elsewhere. When I resisted that.... poof she stopped the DMs. That simple.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,953 Member
    edited January 20
    It's not that we can't individually stop an occurrence for ourselves, by not being an easy mark. We can. I do. That's nice for me, but letting it go doesn't seem pro-social, if I stop there.

    There are easier marks here, and letting the creeps/scammers work their schemes in the app degrades the environment. In one sense, smart/self-assured people backing away from them individually lets them sharpen their focus onto easier targets, less confident or knowledgeable or assertive people. If someone's a creep, but a real human (vs. script/bot), there are Community posts here, intros and such, that practically flag some probable easy marks, IMO.

    I'm sure many men know this, but I also know a few haven't really had it sink in: I think women are more likely to emotionally register this kind of come-on, especially when repeated, as threatening. That may be extra true among the technically less sophisticated. Many people hear about doxing, with claims about how easy it is for technically astute people (as it kinda is), and hear about its role in stalking and the like. That's statistically unlikely to happen, but the horror stories are emotionally resonant.

    I've interacted in DMs here with women here who are fearful to report come-ons, because they think the creep will find out and come after them.

    I do think that latter kind of thinking tends is overblown, but it seems to be real.
  • SurferGirl1982
    SurferGirl1982 Posts: 623 Member
    @ddsb1111 Very well said!

    I actually don't want friends on MFP. There is a particular discussion that I've been involved in for quite some time and I know and trust the people on there. I consider them my friends. But, I see no need to add them as friends or DM them. Anything that I have to say, I can say to the whole group.

    And, I would never accept a FR from someone that I have never interacted with. As @ddsb1111 said, it's like "leaving your front door wide open with a ‘free snacks inside’ sign". And IMO, the internet is less safe than leaving your door unlocked.

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,953 Member
    edited January 21
    I've probably said this before, but while I do still accept FRs (which are now mostly pointless), but not from IDs whose MFP profile is private, and who have no reasonable history at all in the Community. (They don't have to have interacted with me, just participated . . . in my case, in somewhere other than exclusively Chit Chat or Fun and Games. :D )

    There are people here whom I'd sometimes like to DM, because rattling on about a subject we two care about and no one else on the thread does . . . well, that can be kind of annoying to others. But most of those people I'd want to DM seem to be "don't accept FR" people anyway. :D

    In the past, people have actually DM-ed me about nutrition, workouts, my sport, what to do about the creep who feels like a stalker, and lots more. Some people are too shy to post out in public, even things that I myself wouldn't consider deeply personal.

    From a stalking/creep vulnerability perspective, there's a two-edged sword here. Revealing benign personal details about myself in public builds up enough information that I'm relatively easier to dox, therefore would be easier if someone wanted to harass me in real life. I'm not going to be specific, but I've obviously revealed my first name, which not everyone does, but it's pretty common. People reveal exercise/activity interests, observations about the general part of the country they live in, photos in threads of locales, etc. With tools out there like Facebook, LinkedIn, X, Instagram, etc. . . . if someone with skills really wanted to get a home address, phone number or email address, they probably could.

    Those who are more shy, use DMs more, are exposing themselves to DM creeps, but it's been made clear above that it's not hard to delete/block/ignore/report them. There are surprisingly many of those DM creeps/scammers, yeah. Common problem, easy personal solution.

    But those shy DM-preferring people are not as likely to be dripping out that series of tiny details in public that can make a person easier to dox. I don't think doxing and harassment is a particularly common occurrence in the MFP context, and honestly I don't much worry about it. There are a few superficially benign-seeming things I wouldn't public post because of the doxing potential, though, even with that unlikely probability. While the probability is low, the consequences can be major, and hard to counter: Swatting, mass fake COD orders, phone threats, email threats, identity theft, false arrest, even firing from one's job, you name it. Not common, but it happens.
  • COGypsy
    COGypsy Posts: 1,387 Member
    I think the MFP-type of environment sometimes leads people to let their internet guards down. I don't think most people would go on Facebook and ask all the people to "friend" them, but we see it every hour on MFP. Part of it is that MFP creates a bit of a microcosm--specialty boards like this do create a sense of community -- we're all here because we're interested in fitness and nutrition, so intentions for interactions should be somewhat pure and safe, as compared to other forms of social media, at least. I also think because the "pal" idea in MFP still lingers, new people just get crazy for friend requests and will accept anyone that comes along. How many times a day do we see requests for accountability partners, people asking other people to "add them", or statements that they accept all friend requests, etc.? It stands to reason that requests to those people aren't evaluated as carefully as some of the more seasoned (cynical?) veterans around the boards might look at them. I'm not sure how internet-savvy some of the users here are. The community here definitely skews a bit older on average and I'm often concerned that some users can get pulled in to some of these schemes and scams just because they don't have the experience to know better.

    In the end, it's a big problem that probably has no real answer. Scammers gonna scam whether they send a telegram or a DM on a message board.

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