i have absolutely no will power..
Replies
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Once you decide that you are worth the time and energy, there will be no stopping you. But you have to look deep within and find it, it's in there. Until you do, you aren't ready and won't be committed.
Please, take some time and get inside your own head and figure out what is going on. Seek professional help if you can. You need to discover what your roadblocks are.0 -
Dear Sbeezii,
I just joined myfitnesspal today. I was drawn to your post title because you sound like me! I guess I'm old enough to be your mother. Anyway, after I read your post, I understand that you are going through a very difficult time. You're feeling despondent and probably lonely. First of all, despite our society's obsession with health and fitness, the number on your scale DOES NOT define your value as a person. I don't know you but I know you most likely have several "gifts" that others who DO know you could identify. Are you compassionate toward others? Are you funny? Do you appreciate beauty in nature? Do you care about animals? I already know that if you've been dealing with obesity, you have the ability to be empathetic toward others in the same boat! So think about those gifts that are an inherent part of your personality and add the obvious gift of empathy. You have value as a person whether you weigh 319 or 119. You have value TODAY...just exactly as you are. Your post impacted ME, a newbie!
So, how do you move forward? You feel stuck and defeated. You feel that your weight is something you can't possibly overcome. Having struggled with obesity myself, I know you must feel like crap most days. Excessive weight takes a toll on you, emotionally and physically. It's hard to stop the cycle of emotional eating. Believe me, I get it! But once you recognize that your life has value, I hope you can decide that you're sick of going down the rat hole of unhealthy habits. That's where I am today. I don't want to feel like crap anymore. I want to sleep better, stop hiding from social events and live a more "mainstream" life. Frankly, I don't want to die early. There's too much fun to be had!
I wish I knew your name so I could call you by the lovely name your parents gave you as an infant. They had big plans for you. YOU had big plans for you! I can tell from your photo that you're relatively young. This damn weight issue should not define you for the rest of your life. You can't see it in yourself but you are a pretty girl. I would love for you to decide today that you have too many gifts to share, you're too young and you're too pretty to stay "cloistered" by your weight. Decide today that God did not place you on this earth to whither but to bloom. And you don't have to wait until you drop 50 pounds to feel valued. You have value TODAY. And because you have value, my friend, you have to decide that you are going to start to love and care for the earthen vessel the good Lord gave you. Life is waiting for you!
I agree with the other posters that you can start slowly. Take a 10-minute walk. If it's too hot where you live today, cut out one bad thing you normally would eat. Remember that your goal is to stop feeling like crap. If someone gave us a box filled with the excess weight we carry around all day and asked us to carry it, we would think they were nuts! Yet we're the ones punishing ourselves. Sbeezii, you have too much value as a person to treat yourself that way! And so do I. I don't know how long you've been dealing with this weight issue but you can decide today that enough is enough. A lack of will power stinks. But you are too valuable a person to accept the status quo. Let's work on this together. We can do it! I will be praying for your success.
Sincerely,
Someone who cares about you0 -
Start with changing one thing a day, every dat for breakfast I'm going to have fresh fruit with oatmea, or granola with yogurt. When you feel comfortable that this is a goal you can stick with, then add a new one, I'm going to walk for a half hour 3 days a week, and when you feel comfortable with that then add your next goal. Its all about making life changes that you feel comfortable with and you can stick to, and every small step counts. Your on myfitness pal, so this is a start!! For me, what really changed me was going clothes shopping, I had a casual business event, and everything that I tried on made me look like a lumy string tied sausage!! So i started using my fitnesspal, and then going to the gym for 45 minutes and doing eliptical, then I switched to the treadmil, and now I'm learning how to do weight lifting.Another thing that helped me was watching all of the food and health documentaries on netflix,,It really made me think about what I'm puting in my body, not to say that I don't treat myself( I do) but I've slowely made healthier food choices the bulk of my diet.Feel free to friend me if you ever need support or want to chat, I still have 20lbs to lose and massive amounts of toning to do!!!!0
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I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?
how do I get started?
I don't even know how to make a plan.
You FIND it by making a COMMITTMENT to be better to YOURSELF! You decide that you deserve better and you make it happen. Willpower is not necessary when you have committed and promised yourself that you will take care of it.
Willpower is an excuse people use they don't want to win. COMMIT and practice discipline and you'll find your way.0 -
When I got started, I asked myself "do I want this (insert food choice here) more than I want to lose weight. I would try to make it a little longer and then a little longer still, when craving hit, and have some kind of low cal alternative handy for those times I just couldn't hold out any more. When the weight started to drop off some, it gave me motivation to keep on going. I wanted to keep seeing the weight come off. Good luck, you can do it, it's all mind games.0
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.<<<
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My standard answer is in this blog post.
http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer
Awesome.0 -
All of these suggestions are on point, but most importantly, you have to WANT it more than you want food. This comes from within and God puts the strength in us to want it enough to change.0
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Theirs nothing easy about this. I wish other people would understand what we go through. It sounds to me your depressed. Are you on something for depression?Also theres lots of appetite control products out there, I take metobolife. It does help. I'm sorry your having such a hard time.0
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I feel about the same way. For about 2 years i just been gaining weight. I'm about over 170lbs from 130lbs. I feel sad all the time.0
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Start small, work your way up. Do you have a workout partner? Not a gym rat, but a friend you could on a walk with. Do you have a dog? Take him out for walks or to the park. It's not about losing weight, it's about feeling good about yourself. If you eat because your sad, try to find other alternatives to cheer you up. Try to surround yourself with positive people. Facebook is a good place to find groups in your area, wether its exercise, walking the mall in the morning, or just getting together to socialize. The point is you have find out what is making you feel sad. Once you tackle that, the energy will come, the motivation will come...its a domino effect. Good luck on your journey...life is short, enjoy it while you can!0
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My standard answer is in this blog post.
http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer
Perfect!0 -
You know what? Sometimes I have zero will power too. Will power comes and goes in my experience. Yours will come back, but you don't absolutely require it at all times in order to succeed. Don't set yourself up for failure by keeping foods in the house that you tend to over eat.0
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People have limited will power. Building it up takes practice. It takes a saying no to treats a few times. Start slowly going cold turkey right away can just lead to failure. I was the same way. I started off by trying to stay within calorie allotment I still had junk food but I paid attention to the serving. So rather than have 1 L of chocolate milk and two rows of oreos I had two to four and one glass of chocolate milk. Slowly I cut things outs and decreased from there. Don't be too hard on yourself when you don't meet your goals sometimes it happens but the important thing is to press on regardless and try again.0
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My standard answer is in this blog post.
http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer
Perfect!
Great read! Thanks!0 -
Start small. I started by simply logging calories. Sometimes the sight of how many calories you consume in one day is enough to get you started. My main goal is to be at or under goal for calories. Yes I still eat out occasionally or have a cookie, as long as I am under my calorie allowance I'm good. Once you have that working for you then add in exercise. Little steps is the best way to go. I've seen people drastically change their diet and exercise and they end up falling off the wagon because it's overwhelming. Slow and steady is the way to go. Make small changes over time. You can do it. Feel free to add me if you would like.0
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at my highest I was 319 also. And I know what it is like to have no control over food. Try - really hard to lower your intake. Start at 1700 and work your way down to 1600 and then 1500 (don't do less than that) but it's a stepping stone. And it is hard, but you can do it. Add me for support and you can always shoot me a message - you have to believe in yourself!!!0
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I suggest logging everything you put in your moth for 22 days. It takes 22 days to make a habit. Start with that, then you can see what you are doing to your body.
Then I would bring that to a nutritionalist so they can give you directions/guidance specific to you.
You found your will power already, that is what got you to post on this forum!
There is a lot to learn to change your lifestyle. I constantly talk about calories, Looking at the calories in 1 doughnut vs the 1500 i am aloud per day, makes me go F.U. donut, lets eat 3 cups of fruit for the same calories! or hell 6 cups of Veggies! much more fulfilling and has wayyyyy better nutrients. You can still spoil yourself. I can't give up iced coffee. But now instead of a large with cream, I get a small with milk
It is a balancing act.
You Can Do It! You Are Worth It!0 -
Love these comments of encouragement it makes me proud to be a member of MFP 0
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As long as you can't, you won't.0
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I know what's healthy, & what isn't.. I just have a hard time having the self control to choose wisely.
the affording the healthy food part is a tad bit of a problem, but with some adjustments i'm sure i'd be able to afford eating healthy.
I seriously have a hard time staying away from chocolate..the most. i'm a chocoholic, seriously.
and i'm an emotional eater, who also happens to have anxiety & depression issues.. it's almost like I just wanna be really full.. ? idk.
but other than that, pretty much everything you wrote is a problem other than the education.. which in turn makes me realize I have no excuse, really.0 -
I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?
how do I get started?
I don't even know how to make a plan.
A great way to get started is just to log what you eat (and any exercise you're doing) every day for a week. It's a really good way to find out where you can make some changes.
Once you've gotten in the habit of logging consistently, identify your biggest problem area (soda, salty snacks, etc.) and try substituting something healthier for a week. It may also help to keep a diary of when you experience the biggest cravings.
For example, I always crave chocolate in the afternoon. I think it's the result of being given cookies with my lunch every day when I was a kid. Now I make sure to leave room for a chocolate protein shake in the afternoon. It satisfies my chocolate craving and is healthier than cookies and brownies, which always seem to be around in my workplace.
This is a great suggestion, becasue once you start logging your food you will see how many calories foods really have in them. I now will look up what something has before I eat it. If its bad I change my mind and make a different choice. Remember you are a beautifule person & just ask and MFP people will be here to help :-)0 -
I know what's healthy, & what isn't.. I just have a hard time having the self control to choose wisely.
the affording the healthy food part is a tad bit of a problem, but with some adjustments i'm sure i'd be able to afford eating healthy.
I seriously have a hard time staying away from chocolate..the most. i'm a chocoholic, seriously.
and i'm an emotional eater, who also happens to have anxiety & depression issues.. it's almost like I just wanna be really full.. ? idk.
but other than that, pretty much everything you wrote is a problem other than the education.. which in turn makes me realize I have no excuse, really.
Nice atleast youve changed something already.
there are no excuses only you and the plan:)
eating healthy is cheaper than you think,try tinned veg and tinned black beans(look at my diary if you like) jar of passata my meat is fresh mainly.Try to read as many diarys to educate yourself
substitute the chocolate you know this is possible but with the right attitude and know how youll make it a reality
self control- is this an issue? does it exsist? In my limited experience I believe its an illusion because I believe "I am the one" the one that decides the one that makes all my choices and decisions,if you think this is self control then you have limited yourself,there are NO boundaries,only you and the plan 0 -
MFP could seriously destroy your health. I joined last Thursday, and have yet to see a profile that has the minimum daily BMR allowance recommended for an adult. And, I don't believe, all the MFP members, are less than 12 years old. Well, I am not, and should have been given a BMR suitable for an adult female, but no. Even, the protein levels are to low compared to the carbohydrate ratio. Need I go on?
A long talk with your practisioner, should set you on the right track, or write a letter, if your gp is busy.0 -
i'm just very terrified of it, because a nurse told me it's dangerous to take, and has killed people...It is pretty overwhelming when you have a long road ahead of you. Like others said one step at a time and if you slip get up and keep on going. There will be obstacles and it won't be easy but you can do it. When I feel like I can't do it, I go to the success board and look at before and after pictures. You will see amazing transformations there and I bet these people have been at a point where they thought it is impossible to ever get to goal.
You wrote that you could get Adipex. I would go for it. I am on it and I am so grateful to get a head start. It has helped me to curb my cravings tremendously and allowed me to just get started. Your physician will be able to determine if this drug would be the right choice for you. It is not a magic pill but it will help you to just get started.
There is one success story in particular that really resonated with me , you might want to read it as it says it all:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1092179-in-19-months-i-ve-lost-262-pounds-new-me-new-life
Weight loss can be done. It requires a lot of work, dedication and determination. But you will emerge as a stronger person as you work through all the obstacles and battles along the way.
Check in here often, get into therapy if you feel it could help you and if you can afford it ( I did because my food issues are deep) and keep on going. You can do it and we are cheering for you. Oh, and throw the food that you can't stay away from out. Your taste will change as you experiment and introduce new foods. You will be surprised what you will all discover. You can reintroduce this tempting food later again, but for now, try to set up an environment that will help you succeed if possible.
If you would like, feel free to add me as your buddy.
Good luck and hang in there.0 -
I know what's healthy, & what isn't.. I just have a hard time having the self control to choose wisely.
the affording the healthy food part is a tad bit of a problem, but with some adjustments i'm sure i'd be able to afford eating healthy.
I seriously have a hard time staying away from chocolate..the most. i'm a chocoholic, seriously.
and i'm an emotional eater, who also happens to have anxiety & depression issues.. it's almost like I just wanna be really full.. ? idk.
but other than that, pretty much everything you wrote is a problem other than the education.. which in turn makes me realize I have no excuse, really.
1.) willpower is something we have a finite amount of- seriously. In your day to day life- if you say NO to yourself all day long (NO I will not choke my coworker... NO I will not kick the dog... NO I will not be on MFP all day long instead of doing work- NO I will not eat doughnuts in front of my coworker whatever- by the time you get home- your willpower for saying NO to food is shot.
So understand that- and understand like any skill/talent- it can be improved with practice. And just like training for fitness- you need to train your brain and your body to do what you want. JUST Because you- for no other reason that "I SAID SO"
2.) No one is going to do this for you. Period. YOU have to want it bad enough and that's all there is to it.
3.) You need to really look at why you are emotionally eating- you recognize that it's an issue- and that's good. But you REALLY REALLY need to address that- you're going to be fighting an up hill battle if you don't ever address your relationship with food.
understand- food is fuel. once get over this guilt/not guilty stuff- you'll be a lot better off. Food doesn't fix anything- it doesn't make you feel better- it's always there for you- but it isn't' a comfortor- it's just food. Addressing the physiological aspects of your relationship with food will go a long way as well.0 -
I just heard on the radio that will power is like a muscle in the brain..one that needs exercising and that will get better and stronger over time... I thought I'd pass this on... keeping that in mind has helped me.0
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I was struggling as well; however I went to my Dr. Thursday and learned that it's do or die. I have a bad heart and a pacemaker and my heart can't take the weight I'm carrying. Do you have a picture of you from when you were smaller? When you look at it does it make you remember how happy you were and how happy you were with yourself? If so, put that somewhere where you can look at it. Log in to this site daily, even if it's just to read success stories or blogs. Let us help motivate you - and in return you'll motivate us!0
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MFP could seriously destroy your health. I joined last Thursday, and have yet to see a profile that has the minimum daily BMR allowance recommended for an adult. And, I don't believe, all the MFP members, are less than 12 years old. Well, I am not, and should have been given a BMR suitable for an adult female, but no. Even, the protein levels are to low compared to the carbohydrate ratio. Need I go on?
A long talk with your practisioner, should set you on the right track, or write a letter, if your gp is busy.
I...what? The minimum daily BMR allowance recommended for an adult changes based on height and weight for one. Second, the majority of users on MFP are trying to lose weight, which means they're eating below their BMR, because that's how you lose weight. As for the various protein/carbohydrate levels, as well as other nutrients, it's up to you if you want to look at that. I'm pretty sure you can adjust the ratio as well. And if your doctor says you should, for instance, stay under a certain number of sugars, you can. MFP doesn't destroy your health at all, though if you decide to lose weight only eating Twinkies and chocolate you certainly could and that would. That's not MFP's fault though.0 -
I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?
how do I get started?
I don't even know how to make a plan.
It sounds like you are pretty depressed if you are even to the point of letting personal hygeine slide. I would see a counselor to help with the mood/ depression. That may in turn make it easier to stick to a diet and fitness plan.0
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