i have absolutely no will power..
Replies
-
Completely agree with taking things one step at a time. The whole process seems overwhelming and probably alien to you from where you are, and it will take time to learn all the little hacks that make it easier, but it will come!
It's a long process, but all you need to start is an in. Some people have suggested starting with logging, but my advice, especially if you're depressed, would be to start by adding a gentle exercise you like and can do. Because
1) it's easier to get excited about & stick with adding something (exercise) rather than taking something away (calories -- though that will have to happen eventually), and
2) exercise will work more quickly to help with immediate mood issues.
If you wanted to try that, you could shoot for 30 minutes of walking, every day. If going outside is 'whoa too much' right now, Leslie Sansone has great walking videos you could do inside at home. You can find some of them on YouTube.
(Walking outside is great if you can manage it, there are mood benefits to fresh air and sunlight, but starting inside is fabulous too.)0 -
Here's the thing with will power, no can give you it. We can encourage you and support you but if you wanna make unhealthy choices, you're gonna do it. The very best thing you can do is make small, manageable goals. Don't tell yourself you can lose 100lb in a week. And surround yourself with people who will support you, even if it is just an online community like these lovely people. Drink lots of water, smile and celebrate your victories. Don't think of any food as 'bad' or banish anything, allow yourself cheat days and treats, you deserve them!!
If you wanna add me as a friend, go ahead!
Good luck!0 -
Like I say to myself, you've got to fake it til you make. Work at it everyday until it becomes a habit. You just do it. And if you really want to, you will.0
-
I will tell you to find your motivation.... The one thing in life that makes you want to be a better person.... I have started changing my lifestyle and this weekend.... I baked a pecan pie for a friends birthday...... I had a half cup of greek yogurt, with berries and a tsp of honey for my "birthday cake"...I didnt even long for that pie this time.. . I post updates everyday on my Facebook to keep me accountable, and I unbelievable have found tremendous support.
I am at 306 and have found out that If I do not keep myself on track no-one will. Find a support system.... someone you can cry to when you fall, someone who will cheer on your successes! Find an exercise program that you like..... I do 45 minutes of richard simmons three days a week and beginners yoga and resistance bands the other two....
Weight loss is a battle, and I have the challenges such as fibro and diabetes. As far as the sugar, I am a sugar junkie as well. But I really have found the less sugar I have the less I want. The more I eat the more i want. I also stop and think about how many calories one cup of sugar adds to a recipe ITS INSANE!0 -
I was exactly where you were earlier this summer. I was so upset all the time because I wasn't happy with my health or my body--and I ate to cope--which led to more unhappiness with myself so I was just stuck in this terrible circle.
Here's the thing to remember: EVERYONE starts somewhere. Whether you have 5lbs to lose or 500. And for me the easiest place to start was by planning out everything I was going to eat. That way I could see what a binge would do to all of the good decisions I had made during the day.
I've also taken all of the junk food (that makes me want to binge) out of the apartment. I do still have a few sweets (like dark chocolate which has been proven to have plenty of health benefits), but I filled my cabinets and fridge with lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans...things I like to eat that are good for me. This way if I do get the urge to eat, I only have healthier options that are easily accessible.
Now that being said, I don't have great days every day (this past Saturday was a mess) but those are also usually the days where I don't have a plan.
Planning also makes shopping a lot easier because I always make a list before I go, and I use coupons which makes my grocery bill a lot lower.
Pre-portioning snacks has helped me a lot too...that way I can have a snack while I'm watching TV and be accountable for my portion sizes.
It's hard--it's really hard to get started when you feel so frustrated and angry with yourself for letting it get to a particular points. I've really struggled with it some days. But the only way to break that cycle is to just take a leap of faith and try to make some healthier choices. And then when you finally see that scale number drop, it will all be worth it and it will provide you with more motivation to keep working at it
0 -
Dear Sbeezii,
I just joined myfitnesspal today. I was drawn to your post title because you sound like me! I guess I'm old enough to be your mother. Anyway, after I read your post, I understand that you are going through a very difficult time. You're feeling despondent and probably lonely. First of all, despite our society's obsession with health and fitness, the number on your scale DOES NOT define your value as a person. I don't know you but I know you most likely have several "gifts" that others who DO know you could identify. Are you compassionate toward others? Are you funny? Do you appreciate beauty in nature? Do you care about animals? I already know that if you've been dealing with obesity, you have the ability to be empathetic toward others in the same boat! So think about those gifts that are an inherent part of your personality and add the obvious gift of empathy. You have value as a person whether you weigh 319 or 119. You have value TODAY...just exactly as you are. Your post impacted ME, a newbie!
So, how do you move forward? You feel stuck and defeated. You feel that your weight is something you can't possibly overcome. Having struggled with obesity myself, I know you must feel like crap most days. Excessive weight takes a toll on you, emotionally and physically. It's hard to stop the cycle of emotional eating. Believe me, I get it! But once you recognize that your life has value, I hope you can decide that you're sick of going down the rat hole of unhealthy habits. That's where I am today. I don't want to feel like crap anymore. I want to sleep better, stop hiding from social events and live a more "mainstream" life. Frankly, I don't want to die early. There's too much fun to be had!
I wish I knew your name so I could call you by the lovely name your parents gave you as an infant. They had big plans for you. YOU had big plans for you! I can tell from your photo that you're relatively young. This damn weight issue should not define you for the rest of your life. You can't see it in yourself but you are a pretty girl. I would love for you to decide today that you have too many gifts to share, you're too young and you're too pretty to stay "cloistered" by your weight. Decide today that God did not place you on this earth to whither but to bloom. And you don't have to wait until you drop 50 pounds to feel valued. You have value TODAY. And because you have value, my friend, you have to decide that you are going to start to love and care for the earthen vessel the good Lord gave you. Life is waiting for you!
I agree with the other posters that you can start slowly. Take a 10-minute walk. If it's too hot where you live today, cut out one bad thing you normally would eat. Remember that your goal is to stop feeling like crap. If someone gave us a box filled with the excess weight we carry around all day and asked us to carry it, we would think they were nuts! Yet we're the ones punishing ourselves. Sbeezii, you have too much value as a person to treat yourself that way! And so do I. I don't know how long you've been dealing with this weight issue but you can decide today that enough is enough. A lack of will power stinks. But you are too valuable a person to accept the status quo. Let's work on this together. We can do it! I will be praying for your success.
Sincerely,
Someone who cares about you
That was beautiful.
So, to both of you... you can do this! The Success Stories thread is a great way to find motivation. There are many people here who have lost over 100 pounds. And there are people who have lost over 200. You can do it! It's not necessary to repeat everyone's suggestions.0 -
One thing that might help you is to start logging everything you eat along with how you are feeling during that time. It will help you find out if there is an underlying pattern to your eating. And if you are filling your saddness with food then maybe you should really look into your saddness more. It's important that you take care of your mental state to be able to help make progress on your eating too.
I wish you all the best. Reach out to your family and friends..and even us on here as we know all too well the battles/evils of food and being overweight.
Take care!0 -
sbeezii-
After reading your posts in this thread, I wonder if you're addressing your depression and anxiety in conjunction with taking steps to change your lifestyle.
I know that weight gain can be a major catalyst for depression, but in many cases, it serves as a symptom of something else that can be the REAL reason for a person's low self-esteem and subsequent self-abuse.
From personal experience, I've found that addressing the root of the problem can REALLY help the other symptoms and effects of your depression/anxiety take care of themselves. It also helps you develop healthier coping mechanisms that will give you the tools to break the vicious cycle of depression, apathy, and weight gain that you seem to have found yourself stuck in.
Remember that this is a long process with many factors that won't resolve itself overnight, and that your mental health is a very integral (and underrated, imo) component of your overall personal wellness.
Any step in the right direction is a step worth taking, no matter how small!
xoxo0 -
nooo, i'm a stickler about hygiene..i shower twice a day, brush my teeth twice a day.. it's the make up & dressing nice part that is sliding. just had to make that clear.. lolI would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?
how do I get started?
I don't even know how to make a plan.
It sounds like you are pretty depressed if you are even to the point of letting personal hygeine slide. I would see a counselor to help with the mood/ depression. That may in turn make it easier to stick to a diet and fitness plan.0 -
I have never really posted on here before but your post makes my heart cry! What you're expressing sounds so much like what I struggle with (if I don't simply MAKE myself take healthier steps, anyway). You CAN do it, but it is tough.
Part of the struggle with emotional eating, at least for me, is a mental game - it seems like we try to hide who we are underneath this protective cushion. But, for me, underneath the layers of fat and lack of willpower is a competitive person trying to break free. What drives ME now is a desire to beat my shadow when I'm running on my treadmill, to FINALLY run my marathon by age 40, and a desire to prove to myself that I can be healthy and don't have to be chained to my fridge. (It wasn't always this way though - when I started I HATED my treadmill but used it because I wasn't getting any exercise otherwise.) Have you ever examined what drives you to even WANT to lose weight?
As for the chocolate - have you ever tried buying ONE chocolate from a display on the counter of your local store, and then rewarding yourself with it if you make good choices for a set amount of time, say two days to start? Those Lindt truffles are only 33 cents when bought individually, and savoring them helps me not constantly crave chocolate. Just a suggestion, but it may not work! Either way, I'm rooting for your success!I know what's healthy, & what isn't.. I just have a hard time having the self control to choose wisely.
the affording the healthy food part is a tad bit of a problem, but with some adjustments i'm sure i'd be able to afford eating healthy.
I seriously have a hard time staying away from chocolate..the most. i'm a chocoholic, seriously.
and i'm an emotional eater, who also happens to have anxiety & depression issues.. it's almost like I just wanna be really full.. ? idk.
but other than that, pretty much everything you wrote is a problem other than the education.. which in turn makes me realize I have no excuse, really.0 -
I think a lot of what you're running into is you are looking at the big picture and it's completely overwhelming. That would be like going to a pizza buffet and telling yourself you HAVE to eat everything.
Start small. Pick one thing to change, one "bad habit" and work on it. Doesn't matter how small it might seem. When it's not a big deal anymore, pick another one. If that one thing still seems to be a problem, try something else. You just have to keep fiddling with stuff until something just...well, I guess "feels right."
I have done many, many things throughout the years and much of it is a pain in the rear. Though along the way I've managed to change some bad habits into better habits and gradually I feel like I'm "getting there." Some days I feel like I've done all bad, but when I look at my food diary I can SEE that I really didn't do so bad. I am eating salad pretty much every day, I only eat one carb per meal (that's a HARD one and sometimes....Sunday......it doesn't work out quite that well - corn AND potato .....but boy I sure enjoyed it a lot more than I used to!), I only drink water, I don't buy ice cream I like in any size container larger than those single ones and I (so far) never eat more than one at a time, etc. I have to stop and think about what I "would have done before" sometimes.
Try not to focus as much on what you feel like you "can't" do and find something to focus on that you "can" do. And like I tell myself every day....every damn day......"Being a little hungry isn't gonna kill me." (Unless, of course, I go crazy with it but my willpower is noway, never ever ever gonna be that good!)0 -
I know how you feel. I was the same way. I could not control my eating, I was addicted to fast food. Then one day, everything changed. I just said, that's enough. Bought some scales , some soup and a stationary bike and I changed my life completely. It was like a switch flipped in my head and I knew,just knew I would do it. Don't know where it came from ! You can do it too, you won't believe how much better you'll feel almost immediately. Give it a week of serious dieting and exercise, weigh yourself before and after. When you see you've lost 3 or 4 pounds just in a week you'll be so happy you'll want to keep going.
I've been fat sad and angry, I much prefer slim and happy and relaxed!0 -
I really like this post, Very encouraging0
-
I haven't read through everything so I don't know if others have suggested this, but take baby steps.
Start by doing something completely manageable: like while watching TV, you get up and do jumping jacks during the commercials. Get up each time to turn the channel instead of using the remote. Or you decide you're going to walk for 5 minutes today after work- maybe once around the block.
Same with eating- Tomorrow I'm going to replace my two piece of pizza and bag of chips with one piece of pizza and half a bag of chips plus carrots.
Don't try to change ALL your eating habits in one day and start exercising for an hour a day right off the bat. Pick tiny, seemingly unimportant changes to start. Then, as those seem to become easy or predictable, change it up. 5 minutes of walking turns into 10 after a week. Eventually replace that piece of pizza for lunch with chicken instead. Cut out that extra afternoon snack if you don't need it.
You can do it. Baby steps.0 -
One of my favorite quotes: To begin, begin.0
-
I used to, idk what happen. I have none. no will power at all. I can't stay away from everything awful, I can't control my appetite. my love for candy & sugary things. I can't even cut my portions.. I don't like fruit, with the exception of watermelon, and sometimes bananas.. I just have no motivation to start..
I can't get started.. why?
i'm at my highest weight EVER. 319... 319!!
I eat because i'm sad, i'm sad because I eat.
idk what to do, what to try, who to turn to..
I could get adipex but i'm terrified of everything, esp. pharmaceuticals.
someone help? someone tell me they've been through this, and have gotten through this.
I need something. I didn't know where else to go.
I haven't even been taking care of myself with the exception if hygiene. no make up, no dressing up.. I feel bloated like a blimp constantly.. what's the point?
today will be long.
When you'll hit rock bottom, you will find the will power. You haven't hit rock bottom yet. Keep eating and hit that rock
0 -
Then you are not ready for this journey. It is ALL willpower.0
-
Unfortunately there's no secret source of will power. Every single person on this site who has been successful had to make the decision to become a healthier person. It's incredibly simple, but that doesn't make it easy. You have to decide that becoming healthier is worth your effort (believe me, it is), and then you have to just hunker down and do it. No tricks, no gimmicks, no pills, no "kick starts" or whatever else.
Look at every decision you make as a chance to make yourself healthier. Watch TV or take a walk? Eat a side dish of french fries or fresh vegetables? Drink a large Coke or a bottle of water? One decision at a time. Sometimes you'll make unhealthy decisions, but that doesn't mean you're a failure. It's just a detour, you can always get back on track.
Start small, making one change at a time. It's easier to get long-term, sustainable results if you don't try to drastically change your lifestyle all at once.
And develop a healthier relationship with food and exercise, and with yourself. You may want to seek counseling if you feel that there are fundamental psychological issues that are causing you to overeat. For me personally, I didn't develop a healthy sense of self-esteem until I stopped worrying about how I looked and started worrying about making myself healthier and stronger. Maybe that's what you need as well.
Good luck!
That's amazing advice. I'm just starting on my weight loss journey also and what you had to say makes a lot of sense.0 -
join the club...I eat because i'm bored, sad, tired, to celebrate, I don't really need a reason to. I just need to find the motivation.0
-
I know exactly how you feel I am the same way my weakness is sweets to I love cereal and ice cream and chocolate... I dont have to be hungry. I just want it, and then I dont have an evercise partner.... my husband is no help at all!!! i have tried adipex and it does work if you are nervous about it you can try half of it at a time, and some people have been put on topamax too that is also a type of diet ( mild) pill but for other uses, you can ask your doctor about it. Dont be down on yourself, you are beautif, we are all in this together and here for eachother to give advise and ideas.. :flowerforyou:0
-
Like many have said there is no way for anyone to give you the key to willpower. It must come from inside you. At some point in time you will get fed up enough with your current situation to want to change bad enough to overcome your roadblocks. That is where willpower comes from. Here is what worked for me once I made the decision to change (which is the hardest part and what you have already done)
- For the next week don't make any changes to what you eat
- log EVERY BITE YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. It will be eye opening to see how many calories some things are
- At the end of the week look at your choices see what the worst things are and make a mental note of them
- Week 2 exercise and log it. Dont worry about the gym or running in a 5k. Walk around your neighborhood for 20 minutes or whatever you can do. LOG ALL OF YOUR EXERCISE
- continue to log EVERYTHING YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH
At the end of week 2 take a hard look back at your data. See what the worst things are and see how much exercise it takes to negate those things. When you can put a slice of pizza in perspective as 60 minutes of walking you will start to ask yourself is it worth it.
Next you need to create some balance. Start slow. Look at your choices and see what you can do to cut back. If you have 3 slices of supreme pizza for dinner, cut back to pepperoni only. That can be 150 calories saved over 3 slices (that's an extra 30 minute walk you don't have to take). There are tons of little things like that you can do to cut back when you are starting out. Love chocolate, have a 40 calorie fudgesicle instead of a 210 calorie Hershey bar.
The key is not to make drastic changes. If you go from 3 pieces of supreme to salad and grilled chicken you will last about a week. Keep making little changes and keep increasing your exercise level. Most importantly LOG EVERYTHING EVERY DAY. Once your mind starts to equate food and the amount of exercise you need to work it off it gives you a great mental tool to build will power.
Be sure to set your weight loss goal in MFP so you have a calorie target. With the plan above don't expect or even try to hit it in your first 2 weeks. Work towards it and come up with a balance of exercise and reducing calories that work for you until you reach your target. Remember this is a long term plan, don't expect to get there overnight.0 -
Like many have said there is no way for anyone to give you the key to willpower. It must come from inside you. At some point in time you will get fed up enough with your current situation to want to change bad enough to overcome your roadblocks. That is where willpower comes from. Here is what worked for me once I made the decision to change (which is the hardest part and what you have already done)
- For the next week don't make any changes to what you eat
- log EVERY BITE YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. It will be eye opening to see how many calories some things are
- At the end of the week look at your choices see what the worst things are and make a mental note of them
- Week 2 exercise and log it. Dont worry about the gym or running in a 5k. Walk around your neighborhood for 20 minutes or whatever you can do. LOG ALL OF YOUR EXERCISE
- continue to log EVERYTHING YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH
At the end of week 2 take a hard look back at your data. See what the worst things are and see how much exercise it takes to negate those things. When you can put a slice of pizza in perspective as 60 minutes of walking you will start to ask yourself is it worth it.
Next you need to create some balance. Start slow. Look at your choices and see what you can do to cut back. If you have 3 slices of supreme pizza for dinner, cut back to pepperoni only. That can be 150 calories saved over 3 slices (that's an extra 30 minute walk you don't have to take). There are tons of little things like that you can do to cut back when you are starting out. Love chocolate, have a 40 calorie fudgesicle instead of a 210 calorie Hershey bar.
The key is not to make drastic changes. If you go from 3 pieces of supreme to salad and grilled chicken you will last about a week. Keep making little changes and keep increasing your exercise level. Most importantly LOG EVERYTHING EVERY DAY. Once your mind starts to equate food and the amount of exercise you need to work it off it gives you a great mental tool to build will power.
Be sure to set your weight loss goal in MFP so you have a calorie target. With the plan above don't expect or even try to hit it in your first 2 weeks. Work towards it and come up with a balance of exercise and reducing calories that work for you until you reach your target. Remember this is a long term plan, don't expect to get there overnight.
LOVE. THIS. POST. 'Nuff said. 0 -
One of my favorite quotes: To begin, begin.
I absolutely love this, thank u!0 -
thank you so much!Like many have said there is no way for anyone to give you the key to willpower. It must come from inside you. At some point in time you will get fed up enough with your current situation to want to change bad enough to overcome your roadblocks. That is where willpower comes from. Here is what worked for me once I made the decision to change (which is the hardest part and what you have already done)
- For the next week don't make any changes to what you eat
- log EVERY BITE YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. It will be eye opening to see how many calories some things are
- At the end of the week look at your choices see what the worst things are and make a mental note of them
- Week 2 exercise and log it. Dont worry about the gym or running in a 5k. Walk around your neighborhood for 20 minutes or whatever you can do. LOG ALL OF YOUR EXERCISE
- continue to log EVERYTHING YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH
At the end of week 2 take a hard look back at your data. See what the worst things are and see how much exercise it takes to negate those things. When you can put a slice of pizza in perspective as 60 minutes of walking you will start to ask yourself is it worth it.
Next you need to create some balance. Start slow. Look at your choices and see what you can do to cut back. If you have 3 slices of supreme pizza for dinner, cut back to pepperoni only. That can be 150 calories saved over 3 slices (that's an extra 30 minute walk you don't have to take). There are tons of little things like that you can do to cut back when you are starting out. Love chocolate, have a 40 calorie fudgesicle instead of a 210 calorie Hershey bar.
The key is not to make drastic changes. If you go from 3 pieces of supreme to salad and grilled chicken you will last about a week. Keep making little changes and keep increasing your exercise level. Most importantly LOG EVERYTHING EVERY DAY. Once your mind starts to equate food and the amount of exercise you need to work it off it gives you a great mental tool to build will power.
Be sure to set your weight loss goal in MFP so you have a calorie target. With the plan above don't expect or even try to hit it in your first 2 weeks. Work towards it and come up with a balance of exercise and reducing calories that work for you until you reach your target. Remember this is a long term plan, don't expect to get there overnight.0 -
I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?
how do I get started?
I don't even know how to make a plan.
You know what I say? Doing it gets it done.
You definitely aren't alone in these feelings. Perhaps you need counseling? I dunno. But I know that there have been many days when I was depressed and didn't want to exercise and then I made myself do it and I always feel better.
Make a contract with yourself that you will not break. Thing to put in it are that you will go for a walk, every day, for at least 40 minutes. And also put in there that you will not hate on yourself until such and such a date. If you catch yourself hating, remember your contract, Stop hating. Go for a walk.
Eventually you can make your walk a run, or a trip to the gym or whatever.
As for eating.... You just gotta make better choices. Sometimes it's just as easy as spending your sunday making a bunch of healthy food for the week, so when you get the munchies, you have healthy stuff to go for. And I don't mean "sliced carrots" healthy. I mean real food, but healthier- like tamales, or whatever.0 -
Honey, see a counselor or doctor. Your problems sound deeper than eating - it sounds like depression. They can help.0
-
Start small. Stay positive. Try to be patient and not get frustrated. 0
-
You have to really want it. Log what you eat. I'm struggling right now but I'm going to start logging again! Feel free to add me. We can help each other! 0
-
Have you considered a 12 step program for eating? Like OA? I did a 12 step program and found it very helpful and it took away my desire/addiction. I got support and guidance and it worked for me. Maybe just maybe it would help you. Otherwise if you think eek no thanks then try teaming up with another friend and motivating each other.0
-
Hi - you're 25 years old, your photo shows you're really pretty, long blonde hair to die for - you've got everything going for you. Wish I was 25 again - I'm nearly twice your age and I think you shouldn't spend one more summer feeling miserable. You should be out with your mates wearing skimpy little shorts and doing stupid things like all the other 25 year olds.......(my daughter is 20 so I know all about it......!!)
Your motivation is that if you don't seize this NOW, you're going to waste the best time of your life. Why don't you set yourself a target in terms of DATE instead of WEIGHT? For example, if there's a music festival you'd really love to go to this time next year, find out the date, and then decide what you'd REALLY love to be able to wear, and how much weight you'd need to lose to pull the look off. Work towards a tangible goal like that - and just think how you'll celebrate when it comes around and you've made it!
Start now, log everything you eat, and by the time you're 26 you will be soooooo hot your laptop keyboard will melt.
Look forward to reading your success story on here in 2014.
Now get started, and keep us all updated on how you get on! Good luck and much love0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 423 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions