i have absolutely no will power..

sbeezii

I know what's healthy, & what isn't.. I just have a hard time having the self control to choose wisely.

the affording the healthy food part is a tad bit of a problem, but with some adjustments i'm sure i'd be able to afford eating healthy.

I seriously have a hard time staying away from chocolate..the most. i'm a chocoholic, seriously.

and i'm an emotional eater, who also happens to have anxiety & depression issues.. it's almost like I just wanna be really full.. ? idk.

but other than that, pretty much everything you wrote is a problem other than the education.. which in turn makes me realize I have no excuse, really.

mominstands

I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

how do I get started?

I don't even know how to make a plan.

A great way to get started is just to log what you eat (and any exercise you're doing) every day for a week. It's a really good way to find out where you can make some changes.

Once you've gotten in the habit of logging consistently, identify your biggest problem area (soda, salty snacks, etc.) and try substituting something healthier for a week. It may also help to keep a diary of when you experience the biggest cravings.

For example, I always crave chocolate in the afternoon. I think it's the result of being given cookies with my lunch every day when I was a kid. Now I make sure to leave room for a chocolate protein shake in the afternoon. It satisfies my chocolate craving and is healthier than cookies and brownies, which always seem to be around in my workplace.

This is a great suggestion, becasue once you start logging your food you will see how many calories foods really have in them. I now will look up what something has before I eat it. If its bad I change my mind and make a different choice. Remember you are a beautifule person & just ask and MFP people will be here to help :-)

xRiverX

I know what's healthy, & what isn't.. I just have a hard time having the self control to choose wisely.

the affording the healthy food part is a tad bit of a problem, but with some adjustments i'm sure i'd be able to afford eating healthy.

I seriously have a hard time staying away from chocolate..the most. i'm a chocoholic, seriously.

and i'm an emotional eater, who also happens to have anxiety & depression issues.. it's almost like I just wanna be really full.. ? idk.

but other than that, pretty much everything you wrote is a problem other than the education.. which in turn makes me realize I have no excuse, really.

Nice atleast youve changed something already.

there are no excuses only you and the plan:)

eating healthy is cheaper than you think,try tinned veg and tinned black beans(look at my diary if you like) jar of passata my meat is fresh mainly.Try to read as many diarys to educate yourself

substitute the chocolate you know this is possible but with the right attitude and know how youll make it a reality

self control- is this an issue? does it exsist? In my limited experience I believe its an illusion because I believe "I am the one" the one that decides the one that makes all my choices and decisions,if you think this is self control then you have limited yourself,there are NO boundaries,only you and the plan

shapefitter

MFP could seriously destroy your health. I joined last Thursday, and have yet to see a profile that has the minimum daily BMR allowance recommended for an adult. And, I don't believe, all the MFP members, are less than 12 years old. Well, I am not, and should have been given a BMR suitable for an adult female, but no. Even, the protein levels are to low compared to the carbohydrate ratio. Need I go on?
A long talk with your practisioner, should set you on the right track, or write a letter, if your gp is busy.

sbeezii

i'm just very terrified of it, because a nurse told me it's dangerous to take, and has killed people...

It is pretty overwhelming when you have a long road ahead of you. Like others said one step at a time and if you slip get up and keep on going. There will be obstacles and it won't be easy but you can do it. When I feel like I can't do it, I go to the success board and look at before and after pictures. You will see amazing transformations there and I bet these people have been at a point where they thought it is impossible to ever get to goal.
You wrote that you could get Adipex. I would go for it. I am on it and I am so grateful to get a head start. It has helped me to curb my cravings tremendously and allowed me to just get started. Your physician will be able to determine if this drug would be the right choice for you. It is not a magic pill but it will help you to just get started.
There is one success story in particular that really resonated with me , you might want to read it as it says it all:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1092179-in-19-months-i-ve-lost-262-pounds-new-me-new-life
Weight loss can be done. It requires a lot of work, dedication and determination. But you will emerge as a stronger person as you work through all the obstacles and battles along the way.
Check in here often, get into therapy if you feel it could help you and if you can afford it ( I did because my food issues are deep) and keep on going. You can do it and we are cheering for you. Oh, and throw the food that you can't stay away from out. Your taste will change as you experiment and introduce new foods. You will be surprised what you will all discover. You can reintroduce this tempting food later again, but for now, try to set up an environment that will help you succeed if possible.
If you would like, feel free to add me as your buddy.
Good luck and hang in there.

JoRocka

I know what's healthy, & what isn't.. I just have a hard time having the self control to choose wisely.

the affording the healthy food part is a tad bit of a problem, but with some adjustments i'm sure i'd be able to afford eating healthy.

I seriously have a hard time staying away from chocolate..the most. i'm a chocoholic, seriously.

and i'm an emotional eater, who also happens to have anxiety & depression issues.. it's almost like I just wanna be really full.. ? idk.

but other than that, pretty much everything you wrote is a problem other than the education.. which in turn makes me realize I have no excuse, really.

1.) willpower is something we have a finite amount of- seriously. In your day to day life- if you say NO to yourself all day long (NO I will not choke my coworker... NO I will not kick the dog... NO I will not be on MFP all day long instead of doing work- NO I will not eat doughnuts in front of my coworker whatever- by the time you get home- your willpower for saying NO to food is shot.

So understand that- and understand like any skill/talent- it can be improved with practice. And just like training for fitness- you need to train your brain and your body to do what you want. JUST Because you- for no other reason that "I SAID SO"


2.) No one is going to do this for you. Period. YOU have to want it bad enough and that's all there is to it.

3.) You need to really look at why you are emotionally eating- you recognize that it's an issue- and that's good. But you REALLY REALLY need to address that- you're going to be fighting an up hill battle if you don't ever address your relationship with food.

understand- food is fuel. once get over this guilt/not guilty stuff- you'll be a lot better off. Food doesn't fix anything- it doesn't make you feel better- it's always there for you- but it isn't' a comfortor- it's just food. Addressing the physiological aspects of your relationship with food will go a long way as well.

xoeva

I just heard on the radio that will power is like a muscle in the brain..one that needs exercising and that will get better and stronger over time... I thought I'd pass this on... keeping that in mind has helped me.

cl_green

I was struggling as well; however I went to my Dr. Thursday and learned that it's do or die. I have a bad heart and a pacemaker and my heart can't take the weight I'm carrying. Do you have a picture of you from when you were smaller? When you look at it does it make you remember how happy you were and how happy you were with yourself? If so, put that somewhere where you can look at it. Log in to this site daily, even if it's just to read success stories or blogs. Let us help motivate you - and in return you'll motivate us!

echofm1

MFP could seriously destroy your health. I joined last Thursday, and have yet to see a profile that has the minimum daily BMR allowance recommended for an adult. And, I don't believe, all the MFP members, are less than 12 years old. Well, I am not, and should have been given a BMR suitable for an adult female, but no. Even, the protein levels are to low compared to the carbohydrate ratio. Need I go on?
A long talk with your practisioner, should set you on the right track, or write a letter, if your gp is busy.

I...what? The minimum daily BMR allowance recommended for an adult changes based on height and weight for one. Second, the majority of users on MFP are trying to lose weight, which means they're eating below their BMR, because that's how you lose weight. As for the various protein/carbohydrate levels, as well as other nutrients, it's up to you if you want to look at that. I'm pretty sure you can adjust the ratio as well. And if your doctor says you should, for instance, stay under a certain number of sugars, you can. MFP doesn't destroy your health at all, though if you decide to lose weight only eating Twinkies and chocolate you certainly could and that would. That's not MFP's fault though.

tlou5

I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

how do I get started?

I don't even know how to make a plan.

It sounds like you are pretty depressed if you are even to the point of letting personal hygeine slide. I would see a counselor to help with the mood/ depression. That may in turn make it easier to stick to a diet and fitness plan.

anemoneprose

Completely agree with taking things one step at a time. The whole process seems overwhelming and probably alien to you from where you are, and it will take time to learn all the little hacks that make it easier, but it will come!

It's a long process, but all you need to start is an in. Some people have suggested starting with logging, but my advice, especially if you're depressed, would be to start by adding a gentle exercise you like and can do. Because

1) it's easier to get excited about & stick with adding something (exercise) rather than taking something away (calories -- though that will have to happen eventually), and

2) exercise will work more quickly to help with immediate mood issues.

If you wanted to try that, you could shoot for 30 minutes of walking, every day. If going outside is 'whoa too much' right now, Leslie Sansone has great walking videos you could do inside at home. You can find some of them on YouTube.

(Walking outside is great if you can manage it, there are mood benefits to fresh air and sunlight, but starting inside is fabulous too.)

lumpy_spaceprincess

Here's the thing with will power, no can give you it. We can encourage you and support you but if you wanna make unhealthy choices, you're gonna do it. The very best thing you can do is make small, manageable goals. Don't tell yourself you can lose 100lb in a week. And surround yourself with people who will support you, even if it is just an online community like these lovely people. Drink lots of water, smile and celebrate your victories. Don't think of any food as 'bad' or banish anything, allow yourself cheat days and treats, you deserve them!!

If you wanna add me as a friend, go ahead!

Good luck!

obrientp

Like I say to myself, you've got to fake it til you make. Work at it everyday until it becomes a habit. You just do it. And if you really want to, you will.

djenkins0813

I will tell you to find your motivation.... The one thing in life that makes you want to be a better person.... I have started changing my lifestyle and this weekend.... I baked a pecan pie for a friends birthday...... I had a half cup of greek yogurt, with berries and a tsp of honey for my "birthday cake"...I didnt even long for that pie this time.. . I post updates everyday on my Facebook to keep me accountable, and I unbelievable have found tremendous support.

I am at 306 and have found out that If I do not keep myself on track no-one will. Find a support system.... someone you can cry to when you fall, someone who will cheer on your successes! Find an exercise program that you like..... I do 45 minutes of richard simmons three days a week and beginners yoga and resistance bands the other two....

Weight loss is a battle, and I have the challenges such as fibro and diabetes. As far as the sugar, I am a sugar junkie as well. But I really have found the less sugar I have the less I want. The more I eat the more i want. I also stop and think about how many calories one cup of sugar adds to a recipe ITS INSANE!

c_tap77

I was exactly where you were earlier this summer. I was so upset all the time because I wasn't happy with my health or my body--and I ate to cope--which led to more unhappiness with myself so I was just stuck in this terrible circle.

Here's the thing to remember: EVERYONE starts somewhere. Whether you have 5lbs to lose or 500. And for me the easiest place to start was by planning out everything I was going to eat. That way I could see what a binge would do to all of the good decisions I had made during the day.

I've also taken all of the junk food (that makes me want to binge) out of the apartment. I do still have a few sweets (like dark chocolate which has been proven to have plenty of health benefits), but I filled my cabinets and fridge with lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, beans...things I like to eat that are good for me. This way if I do get the urge to eat, I only have healthier options that are easily accessible.

Now that being said, I don't have great days every day (this past Saturday was a mess) but those are also usually the days where I don't have a plan.

Planning also makes shopping a lot easier because I always make a list before I go, and I use coupons which makes my grocery bill a lot lower.

Pre-portioning snacks has helped me a lot too...that way I can have a snack while I'm watching TV and be accountable for my portion sizes.

It's hard--it's really hard to get started when you feel so frustrated and angry with yourself for letting it get to a particular points. I've really struggled with it some days. But the only way to break that cycle is to just take a leap of faith and try to make some healthier choices. And then when you finally see that scale number drop, it will all be worth it and it will provide you with more motivation to keep working at it

Dorothy4208

Dear Sbeezii,

I just joined myfitnesspal today. I was drawn to your post title because you sound like me! I guess I'm old enough to be your mother. Anyway, after I read your post, I understand that you are going through a very difficult time. You're feeling despondent and probably lonely. First of all, despite our society's obsession with health and fitness, the number on your scale DOES NOT define your value as a person. I don't know you but I know you most likely have several "gifts" that others who DO know you could identify. Are you compassionate toward others? Are you funny? Do you appreciate beauty in nature? Do you care about animals? I already know that if you've been dealing with obesity, you have the ability to be empathetic toward others in the same boat! So think about those gifts that are an inherent part of your personality and add the obvious gift of empathy. You have value as a person whether you weigh 319 or 119. You have value TODAY...just exactly as you are. Your post impacted ME, a newbie!

So, how do you move forward? You feel stuck and defeated. You feel that your weight is something you can't possibly overcome. Having struggled with obesity myself, I know you must feel like crap most days. Excessive weight takes a toll on you, emotionally and physically. It's hard to stop the cycle of emotional eating. Believe me, I get it! But once you recognize that your life has value, I hope you can decide that you're sick of going down the rat hole of unhealthy habits. That's where I am today. I don't want to feel like crap anymore. I want to sleep better, stop hiding from social events and live a more "mainstream" life. Frankly, I don't want to die early. There's too much fun to be had!

I wish I knew your name so I could call you by the lovely name your parents gave you as an infant. They had big plans for you. YOU had big plans for you! I can tell from your photo that you're relatively young. This damn weight issue should not define you for the rest of your life. You can't see it in yourself but you are a pretty girl. I would love for you to decide today that you have too many gifts to share, you're too young and you're too pretty to stay "cloistered" by your weight. Decide today that God did not place you on this earth to whither but to bloom. And you don't have to wait until you drop 50 pounds to feel valued. You have value TODAY. And because you have value, my friend, you have to decide that you are going to start to love and care for the earthen vessel the good Lord gave you. Life is waiting for you!

I agree with the other posters that you can start slowly. Take a 10-minute walk. If it's too hot where you live today, cut out one bad thing you normally would eat. Remember that your goal is to stop feeling like crap. If someone gave us a box filled with the excess weight we carry around all day and asked us to carry it, we would think they were nuts! Yet we're the ones punishing ourselves. Sbeezii, you have too much value as a person to treat yourself that way! And so do I. I don't know how long you've been dealing with this weight issue but you can decide today that enough is enough. A lack of will power stinks. But you are too valuable a person to accept the status quo. Let's work on this together. We can do it! I will be praying for your success.

Sincerely,
Someone who cares about you

That was beautiful.
So, to both of you... you can do this! The Success Stories thread is a great way to find motivation. There are many people here who have lost over 100 pounds. And there are people who have lost over 200. You can do it! It's not necessary to repeat everyone's suggestions.

KapuaK

One thing that might help you is to start logging everything you eat along with how you are feeling during that time. It will help you find out if there is an underlying pattern to your eating. And if you are filling your saddness with food then maybe you should really look into your saddness more. It's important that you take care of your mental state to be able to help make progress on your eating too.

I wish you all the best. Reach out to your family and friends..and even us on here as we know all too well the battles/evils of food and being overweight.

Take care!

Jazz_Hands

sbeezii-

After reading your posts in this thread, I wonder if you're addressing your depression and anxiety in conjunction with taking steps to change your lifestyle.

I know that weight gain can be a major catalyst for depression, but in many cases, it serves as a symptom of something else that can be the REAL reason for a person's low self-esteem and subsequent self-abuse.
From personal experience, I've found that addressing the root of the problem can REALLY help the other symptoms and effects of your depression/anxiety take care of themselves. It also helps you develop healthier coping mechanisms that will give you the tools to break the vicious cycle of depression, apathy, and weight gain that you seem to have found yourself stuck in.

Remember that this is a long process with many factors that won't resolve itself overnight, and that your mental health is a very integral (and underrated, imo) component of your overall personal wellness.

Any step in the right direction is a step worth taking, no matter how small!

xoxo

sbeezii

nooo, i'm a stickler about hygiene..i shower twice a day, brush my teeth twice a day.. it's the make up & dressing nice part that is sliding. just had to make that clear.. lol

I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

how do I get started?

I don't even know how to make a plan.

It sounds like you are pretty depressed if you are even to the point of letting personal hygeine slide. I would see a counselor to help with the mood/ depression. That may in turn make it easier to stick to a diet and fitness plan.

sillyrichie

I have never really posted on here before but your post makes my heart cry! What you're expressing sounds so much like what I struggle with (if I don't simply MAKE myself take healthier steps, anyway). You CAN do it, but it is tough.

Part of the struggle with emotional eating, at least for me, is a mental game - it seems like we try to hide who we are underneath this protective cushion. But, for me, underneath the layers of fat and lack of willpower is a competitive person trying to break free. What drives ME now is a desire to beat my shadow when I'm running on my treadmill, to FINALLY run my marathon by age 40, and a desire to prove to myself that I can be healthy and don't have to be chained to my fridge. (It wasn't always this way though - when I started I HATED my treadmill but used it because I wasn't getting any exercise otherwise.) Have you ever examined what drives you to even WANT to lose weight?

As for the chocolate - have you ever tried buying ONE chocolate from a display on the counter of your local store, and then rewarding yourself with it if you make good choices for a set amount of time, say two days to start? Those Lindt truffles are only 33 cents when bought individually, and savoring them helps me not constantly crave chocolate. Just a suggestion, but it may not work! Either way, I'm rooting for your success!

I know what's healthy, & what isn't.. I just have a hard time having the self control to choose wisely.

the affording the healthy food part is a tad bit of a problem, but with some adjustments i'm sure i'd be able to afford eating healthy.

I seriously have a hard time staying away from chocolate..the most. i'm a chocoholic, seriously.

and i'm an emotional eater, who also happens to have anxiety & depression issues.. it's almost like I just wanna be really full.. ? idk.

but other than that, pretty much everything you wrote is a problem other than the education.. which in turn makes me realize I have no excuse, really.