Frustrating Skinny Friend

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  • juniperfox
    juniperfox Posts: 127 Member
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    Sorry to rail on you, hope you have a better day. I suppose I am in no position to judge by not understanding the entire situation. Here's to making a better community where it's ok to vent.

    :) -kana
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    So excited that joined a great group of people to vent to about my struggles and goals on weight loss who understand and support each other...Just a vent people no need to drag me through the dirt and make me feel bad. I've spent 4 hours today in the ER with sick kids with a deployed hubby...wah wah poor me. I'm sure none of you have had a bad day and just needed somewhere to vent to.

    Ignore them. At least you fit it into your goals and didn't just binged on it. :smile:
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
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    So excited that joined a great group of people to vent to about my struggles and goals on weight loss who understand and support each other...Just a vent people no need to drag me through the dirt and make me feel bad. I've spent 4 hours today in the ER with sick kids with a deployed hubby...wah wah poor me. I'm sure none of you have had a bad day and just needed somewhere to vent to.
    I'll typically yell in the car all the way home from work. It gets interesting looks and no one can say anything back to me.. unlike a forum.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    There are no evil foods. None. You need to eat as healthy as possible leaving room for treats and snacks Working into your calories for the day, the things that you like to eat. Otherwise you will burn out and quit.

    As far as your friend, stand up to her and explain that you are working your own plan. Exercise together - there's no problem there. Don't let others throw you off your plan. Find what works for you. Good luck.

    Couldn't have said it better myself.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,135 Member
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    Enjoy your Taco Bell and ditch the guilt. If you must feel guilty, do so because I can`t have Taco Bell (the only shop in town closed 2 years ago).:laugh: :flowerforyou:
  • youngcaseyr
    youngcaseyr Posts: 293 Member
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    I find it interesting that this thread is titled "Frustrating skinny friend". If she was overweight would it have made you feel the same way? Honestly, it sounds like she's just trying to help. Just as you explained to us that you had sick children and it's just a once in awhile thing, you can say the same to her.
    Seriously, this. It's like OP is looking for validation in being upset with her friend for her own mistakes. Sorry, but that's how it comes off.
    So you've never asked her to keep you "on track"? If you've put her in the position of being the motivator, the coach, and the voice of reason, don't get all butt-hurt when that's what she does. If not, she may be out of line. Or you may be overly sensitive. Sorry, but you have to consider the fact that maybe you already felt guilty and you're lashing out at her.
    I agree with this as well.

    I'm the "skinny friend" among my friends and, when they ask me to help them get in shape and lose weight, I will give them my advice and give them input when I see them doing things that might be working against their goals. I'm not trying to be the food police or anything but, if they ask for help and I see them eating in a way I might consider to be unhealthy or to be similar to the old habits that made them gain weight in the first place, I'm probably going to say something- but I'll try to say it in a way that's not, "wow, I can't believe you're eating that," and more along the lines of, "hey, I thought you were trying to make healthier food choices..."
  • just4nessa
    just4nessa Posts: 459 Member
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    She's just miserable because she can't eat bread or something. Do what works for you, don't let her get you down.

    ^Agreed! If you're within your calorie goals, eat whatever you want. Your friend might just be a little cranky from the lack of carbs in her diet. Smile, nod, and back away slowly.
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
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    Why is the "skinny" clarification necessary? Would you feel the same way about the advice if she were fatter? I'm confused as to why that part matters so much.

    No one can make you feel guilty without your permission. Obviously, you don't like that you bought Taco Bell or eat junk, either, or you wouldn't be allowing yourself to feel guilty about it. She isn't doing anything except trying to give you advice that you apparently wanted, since she's your workout buddy.

    If you want to change your habits, change them. She's giving you advice that she think will help. If it's not helpful, and you don't want to change your habits, then own up to your decisions, and be happy with them. Right now, you sound like you're looking for validation for a choice that you made that you don't like, but can't entirely claim as your own, because you don't want to accept it as "bad".

    Food isn't bad. Deciding to get fast food for one night because hey, it's just easier, is not bad. (I'm a single parent in nursing school.. Trust me, been there, got that t-shirt.) Right now, you seem stuck on believing that what you're doing is bad, but you're looking for validation or excuses for it, yet trying to get someone else to help you change it at the same time. That's going to be a frustrating place until you tip the scales definitively in one direction or the other.
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    So don't be. Move on. Tomorrow is a new day. I am all about making healthy choices. But, this really needs to be a lifestyle if you are hoping to achieve lasting results. The truth is, when you try to eliminate foods you really enjoy from your diet, altogether, you are more likely to go back to your old habits eventually.

    The rare Taco Bell or another occasional indulgence is OK. Enjoy it for what it is, and move on to eating as healthy as you can for the rest of the day. The week. The month. It's much more important that you change your lifestyle and develop healthy habits and kick unhealthy ones to the curb. Forever!

    My thing is peanut butter. Regular ole Skippy. I eat it occasionally, and enjoy every bit of it. I don't even want to think of living in a world without it.

    Also, take the motivation and support your friend is offering. Be appreciative. But, this is your journey. Her journey is hers.

    MB
  • DonaGail
    DonaGail Posts: 190 Member
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    Im like you, I am good enough most of the time and I try to stay under my caloric goal, but I really do eat whatever I want.
    I dont like anybody getting too interested in what Im eating either.
    I have never vented here (that I can remember!) because I cant take the feedback..Im a delicate flower..lol
  • SpleenThief
    SpleenThief Posts: 293 Member
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    There are no evil foods.

    Curry jello
  • SStruthers13
    SStruthers13 Posts: 150 Member
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    Me thinks she protests to much.

    I bet she eats ice cream in quantity when she's alone.
  • She_Hulk
    She_Hulk Posts: 277
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    Look, if you don't want her help you need to tell her. If you DO want her help and support, you have to take the good and the bad. I know that's not what you wanted to hear. She is only being honest and telling you what works for her. Tell her you're no longer interested in her feedback or suggestions. I'm not trying to be mean. Just telling you it's time to be honest with her.



    It's okay to vent. We all do it from time to time. Good luck with your weight loss!
  • SamanthaRuzicka
    SamanthaRuzicka Posts: 10 Member
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    I will admit "Skinny Friend" is in great shape, and I by no mean ment for that to sound like i'm mad at her for that...Jealous yes, mad no. I don't mean it in a bad way, but if your the bigger of your friends you probably understand that feeling that you get sometimes, not always. She is great motivation working out and I appreciate her for that. I'm just getting back on track and I count calories every single day and every time we talk about food it turns into a debate because we have different opinions so I try to stay off that topic and as soon as I said it today I knew I was going to get criticized for my choices, thats why I button my mouth and move on with her. We would go round and round on the subject and just end up mad so there is no point. We don't agree. So thats where my coming here came into play.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    Forgive and move on. Your friend almost certainly meant well, even though your approach to food is a bit more relaxed. One meal from Taco Bell won't keep you from your goals.

    And yes, skinny people can be frustrating when they seem critical, and so perfect.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I will admit "Skinny Friend" is in great shape, and I by no mean ment for that to sound like i'm mad at her for that...Jealous yes, mad no. I don't mean it in a bad way, but if your the bigger of your friends you probably understand that feeling that you get sometimes, not always. She is great motivation working out and I appreciate her for that. I'm just getting back on track and I count calories every single day and every time we talk about food it turns into a debate because we have different opinions so I try to stay off that topic and as soon as I said it today I knew I was going to get criticized for my choices, thats why I button my mouth and move on with her. We would go round and round on the subject and just end up mad so there is no point. We don't agree. So thats where my coming here came into play.

    That's cool, why not just make it explicit? Just say to each other (out loud) "food's off limits" and then talk about burpees or whatever.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    I work out 6 days a week at the gym with my "skinny friend" she keeps me moving, motivated, and in check....but some days she just makes me mad! I count my calories, I generally eat healthy calories, but today I made some bad choices (within my caloire goals) and she made me feel so bad for it. She is very pro-lo carb and I am more eat what i'm feeling like within my portion and calorie goals. I try to keep my protien high and my sodium low but otherwise I'm pretty happy with my choices....today I had Taco Bell. I know I know it was a bad choice, I had 2 sick kids, I was pulling my hair out, and that's what my little one asked for so we had it. I just want to stop feeling like I should feel so guilty for it.
    Foods should not be the source of feelings.
  • CWonder003
    CWonder003 Posts: 29 Member
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    Well, you friend is just silly! Secretly roll your eyes at her whenever she gets on her soapbox, and promptly forget about it. Sometimes people become crazy diet evangelists when something works for them, and they forget there is more than one way to do it.

    If she is happy eating her low carb diet, fine, but you can eat carbs, workout, and still be healthy!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I will admit "Skinny Friend" is in great shape, and I by no mean ment for that to sound like i'm mad at her for that...Jealous yes, mad no. I don't mean it in a bad way, but if your the bigger of your friends you probably understand that feeling that you get sometimes, not always. She is great motivation working out and I appreciate her for that. I'm just getting back on track and I count calories every single day and every time we talk about food it turns into a debate because we have different opinions so I try to stay off that topic and as soon as I said it today I knew I was going to get criticized for my choices, thats why I button my mouth and move on with her. We would go round and round on the subject and just end up mad so there is no point. We don't agree. So thats where my coming here came into play.

    There are some people that I just don't talk about food with.

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