Self Esteem Shot Because of Rude People.

overthefluff

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I'm obese. I am making a lifestyle change, but can't lose all the weight overnight. Lately I've read some pretty nasty things online like: "obese people disrespect their bodies, so we will disrespect obese people", "obese women are child abusers because their kids will get fat", people fat shaming obese people, etc.

I can't get these stories out of my mind. Sorry, fat shaming does NOT work for me at all. I feel embarrassed to leave my house now wondering what people think of me. We all have a story on why we got to where we are. How can people be so judgmental and down right nasty?? It really makes me feel so bad about myself especially since I can't lose it all overnight!

Madame_Goldbricker

Good on you for making positive changes. Stuff them for what they "think" :laugh:

cmriverside

As far as online stuff - take what you like and leave the rest.

Thinking that everyone will agree with your frame of mind is just asking for trouble. The interwebz don't work that way.


For that matter, real life doesn't work that way. Learn to tune them out.

SailorKnightWing

There really are people like that in the world. They're what we in the civilized world like to call *kitten*.

If you're having trouble coping with how awful humanity can be, perhaps talk to a trusted friend, relative, or a counselor. This sounds like more than an anonymous bullying problem.

slkehl

Most people don't think that way. Have you ever seen the show What Would You Do? I've seen versions where the crew sets up fake scenarios involving an overweight person being insulted, and that offends people pretty much across the board.

JenniTheVeggie

You've decided to make changes and that is what is important. F*** them.

robertgal74

I would try to put all that behind you. I know it's hard, but you need to focus on this very important step you have just taken to get healthy.




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Railr0aderTony

You have come to the right place. You can do this and you are so right, It will not be overnight. It could take years but the beauty of it is. If you follow MFP you can still live and eat very well and continue to live healthy and happy for the rest of your life.

LadyLaw2Phd

I tried getting back into exercise about a year ago and had a guy tell me he was shocked that such a fatty could move the bike and not break it. I went home, cried, and sold my bike. A little over a year later I'm down 15 pounds and give ZERO sh!ts about people. I shake my ample booty at Zumba, hit the weights like its my job and watch what I eat. Here's what I have to say to stupid and rude people:

1) I might be slow but I'm going a lot faster than the idiot on the couch.
2) I love myself enough to do this.
3) I can lose the fat but you can't lose the stupid.

Motivational sayings:
1) Just put on pants.
2) I love myself enough for this.
3) If I still want to go back to bed in 15 mins. I'll leave the gym and go back to bed.

sj_1970

See my avatar.

hilts1969

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I'm obese. I am making a lifestyle change, but can't lose all the weight overnight. Lately I've read some pretty nasty things online like: "obese people disrespect their bodies, so we will disrespect obese people", "obese women are child abusers because their kids will get fat", people fat shaming obese people, etc.

I can't get these stories out of my mind. Sorry, fat shaming does NOT work for me at all. I feel embarrassed to leave my house now wondering what people think of me. We all have a story on why we got to where we are. How can people be so judgmental and down right nasty?? It really makes me feel so bad about myself especially since I can't lose it all overnight!

Do you want the pc answer or the truth? you have a choice we all do, make that choice and live with it. i will not empathize with you or insult you, the decision is yours

ChristineS_51

HI there - what is it they say - be mindful of what you say - everyone is fighting some kind of battle ... and some of those rude insensitive people will ALWAYS be rude and insensitive :explode: - but you can lose weight!

You have the right ideas -
:flowerforyou: you have accepted yes, you are obese (such an ugly word).
:flowerforyou: It is a lifestyle change - YES!!
:flowerforyou: You can't lose the weight overnight - but you will lose it sensible and sustainably if you log faithfully, make better choices where you can, get some movement in your day as much as possible - every bit helps keep burning calories. I started by just walking around my backyard five times, then ten times, then 20 times, trying to go more and faster each time. Sometimes I did the power walk thing, punching my fat arms in front of me - no-one could see me :laugh: It got me started.

You have three children who want their mum around a long time, and you can do this, once you set your mind to it; log faithfully, good and bad, so you learn what are better choices. Open your diary to friends so they can help you.

And let go those nasty stories in your head - think - you are making this change for you - it will work, check out the success stories if you EVER doubt yourself - it can be done.
PS LOVE the gif above!! SO true
and this: 3) I can lose the fat but you can't lose the stupid. :laugh:

NonnyMary

Hi - i think its best to stay away from those things.. you dont need it in your life.

if anyone gives you a criticism, you dont even have to answer them.. just go on your merry way.

Minnie2361

why let some people affect your self esteem, just because the worms pop out of the wormholes doesn't mean you have dive in after them.

hilts1969

why let some people affect your self esteem, just because the worms pop out of the wormholes doesn't mean you have dive in after them.
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it hurts the op is lucky though she has a choice some people don't, the world we live in is messed up, in a long list of hard luck stories being overweight is not anywhere near the top

sarasmiles124

The comment that usually gets to me is something that is said to me face to face - that because I am overweight, I am lazy. I may not work out everyday and I may not be where I want to be weight wise, but I work three jobs with generally only one day off each week, if that. And when I have time, I sleep, spend time with family and friends and work out.

shapefitter

Technically, I am obese. A couple of years, away from the gym, and my muscle mass has turned into fat. I never knew, I had so much muscle, untill it turned into fat. I miss not having a waist, but with a little dedication, and a daily routine, I will get it back. I am just glad my injuries are no longer hampering my progress. Watch this space!

jillianbeeee

Read this. I think back on it everytime I am out exercising and feel that "look" it has helped me on my journey. We all start somewhere. http://i.imgur.com/6jEWN.png

MommaRobs

Do not give the rude and insensitive people that kind of control over you. Believe in yourself. Yes it will take time and commitment. You may need to try a few different things before you find what works for you. Reach out for the support of positive people, like the ones you will find here. Screw the @$$holes. They aren't worth worrying about. Do this for YOU, because YOU are worth it. Repeat, YOU are worth it.

mamayoucandoit

don't worry about them, try joining bbw groups once you're comfortable in your own skin then you will lose the weight

alexveksler

Read this. I think back on it everytime I am out exercising and feel that "look" it has helped me on my journey. We all start somewhere. http://i.imgur.com/6jEWN.png

I love this. Great post. Thanks!!

Bernadette60614

I think that people who have their own issues with self-esteem try to bolster theirs by putting down others.

A person who really feels good about themselves doesn't sling insults.

FindingAmy77

I was recently watching a motivational/nutritional l program on Netflix that stressed about your mindset while losing weight and changing your lifestyle. The main thing that I want to share with you is that it takes 21 days to change a habit or to start a new one. If you could go in front of a mirror at the start of each day and look yourself in the eyes and say " I accept myself unconditionally right now" . I thought this was so powerful so I had to write it down on my food/exercise journal. We spend most of our lives waiting. Waiting to live life when.... The when is different for everyone. As someone who is also overweight and has been struggling with weight since I had my first son.. I been waiting too long to love myself. A good mindset is crucial to weight loss. Don't worry yourself about mean people. They will get their karma soon enough. The internet was created with good intentions but these days, many people find it entertaining and self fulfilling to their own self esteems to sit anonymously behind computers and type the nastiest comments about people they don't even know. I have little by little gotten rid/blocked/deleted all negativity our of my life. Its about taking control. If you take the control of you and what you are exposed to and stop looking at nasty comments then you will be taking small steps to leading a healthy life. You know the weight didn't come on fast so you cant lose it fast. You will find on here and many other weight loss sites and communities that you are not in the boat alone. Stay motivated. Look back on this in a year, and I bet you will have a different perspective. My saying that one of youtube friends says is "haters gonna hate, we gonna drop this weight!" You have my support.

meeper123

F! those stupid people I am sure you have a lot of great things about you. You need to do this for you not other people! I wish you the best You can do it

FindingAmy77

You have come to the right place. You can do this and you are so right, It will not be overnight. It could take years but the beauty of it is. If you follow MFP you can still live and eat very well and continue to live healthy and happy for the rest of your life.

'


I love the little video. You are so right, it starts in the mind first.

supplemama

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

SteelySunshine

You are probably a very nice person. So, it will probably take a lot of practice, but start by telling them to F off. I don't mean that in a nice way either. It's no one's business what you weight or what you look like. If they are rude and insulting that says more about them than it does you. You have a big task ahead of you one that most people would find overwhelming and yet you are here, so you are brave and they are not. So, don't quit because of cowards and don't get discouraged by mean people. Let a mean person encourage you instead to tell the rude people to F off and instead of being worried about them you do you and hit the road as it were and get to moving more. And make some significant cuts to your calories and in 9 months or so you will have made some significant losses and you will feel a lot better. And the mean rude people will still be mean rude people.

Jlennhikes

Other people can't make you do or think anything. It's two separate problems. You're unhappy about your weight, so you're doing something about it. Good for you! But that won't solve your happiness problem if you're hung up on what you think other people think. Be your own woman, and carry on whatever life you want.

meeper123

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

I love that

TheEffort

Don't let them affect you...it's definitely hurtful and I hope you're able to get past it.

smantha32

You are probably a very nice person. So, it will probably take a lot of practice, but start by telling them to F off. I don't mean that in a nice way either. It's no one's business what you weight or what you look like. If they are rude and insulting that says more about them than it does you. You have a big task ahead of you one that most people would find overwhelming and yet you are here, so you are brave and they are not. So, don't quit because of cowards and don't get discouraged by mean people. Let a mean person encourage you instead to tell the rude people to F off and instead of being worried about them you do you and hit the road as it were and get to moving more. And make some significant cuts to your calories and in 9 months or so you will have made some significant losses and you will feel a lot better. And the mean rude people will still be mean rude people.

I don't think she's talking just about real life. Even reading some of the threads here make her feel bad.

I know people hate it when someone says "get a thicker skin", but if you decide to feel bad about yourself based on something someone in another country typed it's going to be rough on you. Losing weight is much harder than reading some snotty comments.