Self Esteem Shot Because of Rude People.

Bernadette60614

I think that people who have their own issues with self-esteem try to bolster theirs by putting down others.

A person who really feels good about themselves doesn't sling insults.

FindingAmy77

I was recently watching a motivational/nutritional l program on Netflix that stressed about your mindset while losing weight and changing your lifestyle. The main thing that I want to share with you is that it takes 21 days to change a habit or to start a new one. If you could go in front of a mirror at the start of each day and look yourself in the eyes and say " I accept myself unconditionally right now" . I thought this was so powerful so I had to write it down on my food/exercise journal. We spend most of our lives waiting. Waiting to live life when.... The when is different for everyone. As someone who is also overweight and has been struggling with weight since I had my first son.. I been waiting too long to love myself. A good mindset is crucial to weight loss. Don't worry yourself about mean people. They will get their karma soon enough. The internet was created with good intentions but these days, many people find it entertaining and self fulfilling to their own self esteems to sit anonymously behind computers and type the nastiest comments about people they don't even know. I have little by little gotten rid/blocked/deleted all negativity our of my life. Its about taking control. If you take the control of you and what you are exposed to and stop looking at nasty comments then you will be taking small steps to leading a healthy life. You know the weight didn't come on fast so you cant lose it fast. You will find on here and many other weight loss sites and communities that you are not in the boat alone. Stay motivated. Look back on this in a year, and I bet you will have a different perspective. My saying that one of youtube friends says is "haters gonna hate, we gonna drop this weight!" You have my support.

meeper123

F! those stupid people I am sure you have a lot of great things about you. You need to do this for you not other people! I wish you the best You can do it

FindingAmy77

You have come to the right place. You can do this and you are so right, It will not be overnight. It could take years but the beauty of it is. If you follow MFP you can still live and eat very well and continue to live healthy and happy for the rest of your life.

'


I love the little video. You are so right, it starts in the mind first.

supplemama

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

SteelySunshine

You are probably a very nice person. So, it will probably take a lot of practice, but start by telling them to F off. I don't mean that in a nice way either. It's no one's business what you weight or what you look like. If they are rude and insulting that says more about them than it does you. You have a big task ahead of you one that most people would find overwhelming and yet you are here, so you are brave and they are not. So, don't quit because of cowards and don't get discouraged by mean people. Let a mean person encourage you instead to tell the rude people to F off and instead of being worried about them you do you and hit the road as it were and get to moving more. And make some significant cuts to your calories and in 9 months or so you will have made some significant losses and you will feel a lot better. And the mean rude people will still be mean rude people.

Jlennhikes

Other people can't make you do or think anything. It's two separate problems. You're unhappy about your weight, so you're doing something about it. Good for you! But that won't solve your happiness problem if you're hung up on what you think other people think. Be your own woman, and carry on whatever life you want.

meeper123

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

I love that

TheEffort

Don't let them affect you...it's definitely hurtful and I hope you're able to get past it.

smantha32

You are probably a very nice person. So, it will probably take a lot of practice, but start by telling them to F off. I don't mean that in a nice way either. It's no one's business what you weight or what you look like. If they are rude and insulting that says more about them than it does you. You have a big task ahead of you one that most people would find overwhelming and yet you are here, so you are brave and they are not. So, don't quit because of cowards and don't get discouraged by mean people. Let a mean person encourage you instead to tell the rude people to F off and instead of being worried about them you do you and hit the road as it were and get to moving more. And make some significant cuts to your calories and in 9 months or so you will have made some significant losses and you will feel a lot better. And the mean rude people will still be mean rude people.

I don't think she's talking just about real life. Even reading some of the threads here make her feel bad.

I know people hate it when someone says "get a thicker skin", but if you decide to feel bad about yourself based on something someone in another country typed it's going to be rough on you. Losing weight is much harder than reading some snotty comments.

unFATuated

Life is soooo much easier and more fun when you stop caring about what people are thinking about you.

The random strangers on the internet will never know you (and aren't talking about you anyway! They're making sweeping generalisations about the 'obese' population as a whole, most of whom they don't know either). I bet their lives aren't so perfect either, so I don't think that worrying about these comments is worth your time. People who make hateful comments on the internet really don't have anything else to do with their time. Isn't that terribly sad and pathetic? Yup!

The random strangers you walk past on the street probably aren't thinking about you very much either. I doubt there would be many, if any, who would actually stop you in the street to say 'Look at you, you're disgusting/so fat/ewwww'. Anyone who would bother probably feels pretty low in themselves anyway, and in a bid to take the focus off their flaws would draw attention to yours. Same goes for family.

The only person who needs to be okay with who you are is YOU. While you probably don't feel great right now, taking care of yourself (which, if you're here, you're starting to do) is a great start. After a while, you will start to see some changes. They can help with the mindset. Once you feel in control and that your behaviour is starting to have a positive effect on your body, it becomes easier. While you're waiting for the physical changes, start working on forgiving yourself and feeling more positive. If you need to seek help to do so (counsellor or someone else to talk to) do it. It WILL happen. Best of luck

stealthq

There will always be someone who disapproves of you no matter what. People who disapprove because you are fat. People who disapprove because you are thin. People who disapprove because you are athletic, or because you are not. They'll disapprove because you are losing weight the 'wrong' way, no matter what method you try.

You can't please everyone. You can only please yourself, be as good to others as you can, and let everyone else take care of themselves.

Minnie2361

Well it is a message board and there are all types and all ages here and some people can be very nasty and hostile. Myself I just ignore them and keep moving forward. It is about me achieving my goals. I like to educate myself and have spent this last month watching you tube videos.
For me it is important to understand how the body functions to gain and hold onto weight this helps me plan my strategies. What foods to leave in my diet and what foods had to go.

This is a great video best yet and I leave the link here for you.
It explains so much and at a level where I can understand it.
if your overweight then you are now in the majority and that is a high number . It has all happened in the last 30 years.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sKxfImHkFI

hstoblish

I know that these forums are generally very polite and I'm new here so I should tow the line, but for this one, I'm just going to be really really blunt.

You are going to lose the weight. They will be *kitten* forever.

To decide that you are going to use your valuable time and energy actively disrespecting someone because of their weight is an insane waste of time. Then, to go on and announce this on an internet forum or with your friends? That's a whole new level of jerk. It also reeks of someone who lives a very very pathetic life and who doesn't have much going for them.

You are actively trying to improve yourself. You do not have time for this *kitten*. You are better than that.

smantha32

There will always be someone who disapproves of you no matter what. People who disapprove because you are fat. People who disapprove because you are thin. People who disapprove because you are athletic, or because you are not. They'll disapprove because you are losing weight the 'wrong' way, no matter what method you try.

You can't please everyone. You can only please yourself, be as good to others as you can, and let everyone else take care of themselves.

This is so very true.

Look for all the threads by people who have gotten thin and people still say mean judgey things to them. You've just gotta let it roll off of you.

skeeter2584

First off, I'm sorry to hear that you're bummed out over your appearance. While your weight may not be where you want it YET, the most important thing is that you're doing SOMETHING to eventually make it right again. Also bear in mind that people become obese for a myriad of reasons. A particular person may be on multiple medications that have weight gain as a common side effect. He or she may have suffered an accident or stroke that left them mostly or even completely unable to walk. Remember that many people are emotional eaters; losing weight is probably the last thing on your mind when **** hits the fan! Obese parents don't "automatically" abuse their kids in my opinion. Fast food IS more convenient than cooking from scratch these days, and economically disadvantaged families may eat it since it's cheaper than "healthy" food. Obese parents who feed their kids fast food probably know it's certainly not the healthiest stuff they and their families could possibly eat. They may, in their hearts of hearts, earnestly believe that they can't possibly do *that* much harm by giving it to their kids. Anyhow, don't let trash talking people get you down. You are getting healthier for YOURSELF, not for them!

SteelySunshine

You are going to lose the weight. They will be *kitten* forever.

Yep, that is what I was trying to say with a lot more words. I think you have a beautiful soul and I hope you are able to keep that and add some healthier habits to your lifestyle at the same time. Just keep at doing something everyday to make yourself healthier. Eat a little less move a little more or a lot more and by this time next year you will feel better and they will still be jerks.

Hildy_J

There really are people like that in the world. They're what we in the civilized world like to call *kitten*.

Innit. And those a*******s can be fascists. Anyone who's different from the crowd be it in weight, skin colour, height, opinions, habits - can get criticised and bullied. Here in England they produce a newspaper especially FOR this group of people called The Daily Mail.

Remember these folk are in the minority, and their opinions are worthless. Noone has the right to judge you and no one else is better than you.

:flowerforyou:

LMick1986

I never really thought about people being overweight.....I have plenty in my family and love them all the same. A few years back, I started watching Biggest Loser. Just hearing the battles these people fight every single day.....the battles they fight internally, as well as the weight......man, it broke my heart. I cried like a little baby during every single episode. Then you realize though that every person fights a battle.....skinny or fat....we all have something. Those rude people struggle with something. All you can do is you. Fight your battle, let them fight their own. Don't allow their struggles to affect yours. I understand it can get to you, for sure. Keep on keeping on though!

Ophidion