Self Esteem Shot Because of Rude People.

helpfit101

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I'm obese. I am making a lifestyle change, but can't lose all the weight overnight. Lately I've read some pretty nasty things online like: "obese people disrespect their bodies, so we will disrespect obese people", "obese women are child abusers because their kids will get fat", people fat shaming obese people, etc.

I can't get these stories out of my mind. Sorry, fat shaming does NOT work for me at all. I feel embarrassed to leave my house now wondering what people think of me. We all have a story on why we got to where we are. How can people be so judgmental and down right nasty?? It really makes me feel so bad about myself especially since I can't lose it all overnight!

You didn't gain it all overnight either.

But I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve by posting here. People are ugly. The world is an ugly place. And you're not making it any prettier by complaining about it. So start counting what you eat and eat a little less and in a year you'll be half the person you are now.

LorinaLynn

You're missing the key word of self-esteem. Self. It comes from within, not what other people say.

No matter who you are, how you look, what size you are, who you love, what religion you follow or don't follow, where your ancestors are from, where you're from... there's always going to be SOMEONE who will think or say or write bad things about you or the kind of person you identify with.

Fat shaming sucks, no doubt about it. So does telling a slim person to eat a burger or call them a skinny b-word, which also happens regularly. Racism, sexism, and all other forms of bigotry also suck. It's highly doubtful you can change those people who feel that way. But you can change how you react to them.

overthefluff

I think I was looking for some support on how to move past and deal with people like that. Unfortunately sometimes I have cared too much about what people think.

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I'm obese. I am making a lifestyle change, but can't lose all the weight overnight. Lately I've read some pretty nasty things online like: "obese people disrespect their bodies, so we will disrespect obese people", "obese women are child abusers because their kids will get fat", people fat shaming obese people, etc.

I can't get these stories out of my mind. Sorry, fat shaming does NOT work for me at all. I feel embarrassed to leave my house now wondering what people think of me. We all have a story on why we got to where we are. How can people be so judgmental and down right nasty?? It really makes me feel so bad about myself especially since I can't lose it all overnight!

You didn't gain it all overnight either.

But I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve by posting here. People are ugly. The world is an ugly place. And you're not making it any prettier by complaining about it. So start counting what you eat and eat a little less and in a year you'll be half the person you are now.

overthefluff

Yes you are absolutely right.

You're missing the key word of self-esteem. Self. It comes from within, not what other people say.

No matter who you are, how you look, what size you are, who you love, what religion you follow or don't follow, where your ancestors are from, where you're from... there's always going to be SOMEONE who will think or say or write bad things about you or the kind of person you identify with.

Fat shaming sucks, no doubt about it. So does telling a slim person to eat a burger or call them a skinny b-word, which also happens regularly. Racism, sexism, and all other forms of bigotry also suck. It's highly doubtful you can change those people who feel that way. But you can change how you react to them.

Hearts_2015

I think that people who have their own issues with self-esteem try to bolster theirs by putting down others.

A person who really feels good about themselves doesn't sling insults.

amaysngrace

Well, I have lost a lot of weight and I still get these rude comments from men pointing out all of my flaws. It makes me think that it was not even worth it to begin with. Just ignore the haters, I know I did, they will be looking real stupid once you shed the weight.. In my case, I was bigger than all of my neighbors and now I am almost smaller than all of them, and they are looking really stupid right now. It doesn't necessarily make me feel all warm and fuzzy about that fact, but you have to start somewhere and just ignore them because you will reap the benefits in the end. People in my family made fat jokes, at the time I was the biggest one, and my grandma was bigger than me. Well, now my uncle is fat and he was the main one making jokes and most of my cousins and I am the skinny one now! keep your head up and stay motivated and get tunnel-vision and ignore the ones who are on the sidelines!

DiannaMoorer

Take a look at this persons success story. It's pretty inspiring. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1092179-in-19-months-i-ve-lost-262-pounds-new-me-new-life

And here is his blog. gainsthroughloss.com

BTW Keep up the spirits sweetie. We are all cheering for you!

mustangmonie

This reminds me of the old bumper sticker "Mean People Suck."

The thing you have to remember is that people that act like this way are just super insecure and can only make themselves feel better by cutting other's down. I know it is hard to ignore, but you have to find a way to know within yourself that these people mean NOTHING to you and their opinions should mean NOTHING. These people leave the room after insulting one person for being fat, then go on to the next place and make fun of someone's clothes, then to the next place to make fun of someone's hair, car etc. They spread this BS wherever they go. Most people that know or meet you will be routing for you.

When I started at my gym earlier in the year, I was the heaviest person in the room nearly everytime I went to work out and officially obese by the charts. I was worried what all the super buff people were thinking about me. It didn't take me more than a few weeks to realize that most people are concentrating on their own workout and not noticing anyone else anyway so don't stay inside hiding. Those that actually do notice are probably thinking "good for you!" As of a few days ago I am no longer obese. My hips don't hurt, most of my knee pain is gone. I feel good and my self esteem is back. It would be a crime to let people like that keep you from doing the same... getting out, getting well and having a long happy life. Don't let them have that power!

Get some friends on MFP, a handfull of people with similar issues will be able to be great support and cheeleaders for you on your good days and your bad ones!

Good luck and don't let the bast**ds get you down!

OddballExtreme

I was also obese and not too far from being morbidly obese. That all changed for me on my brother's birthday last year when I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Instead of eating more foods to make the situation worse, I took his advice and slowly changed my life. My weight didn't go down overnight, either. In terms of self-esteem issues, I only dealt with that from my mother, who was shocked I could still eat most of the things I want and not gain weight or worry about the blood sugar.

Whenever someone tries to put you down, just ignore them. Those losers want you to think they're better than you are. Don't let them get to you. I've been lucky to have a great support network at my job, as everyone there saw I was losing the weight. Only that one temp wanted to try to get me to eat a 21-carb doughnut, saying, "It's only 21 calories."

Because of everything I did over time, this was the end result:


And I even did my first serious cosplaying as Pretty Cure character Cure Moonlight at Dragon Con recently:


When someone says you can't, let your inner voice say you can. Take as much time as you need, as this is truly a lifestyle change, not a diet. :flowerforyou:

ImSoOTired

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Well said, and well repeated. And on the same note...
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

In other words, they're stupid.
You can do this!
Best of luck

cmbalint

beautiful post! You a truly motivating

Minnie2361

I was also obese and not too far from being morbidly obese. That all changed for me on my brother's birthday last year when I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Instead of eating more foods to make the situation worse, I took his advice and slowly changed my life. My weight didn't go down overnight, either. In terms of self-esteem issues, I only dealt with that from my mother, who was shocked I could still eat most of the things I want and not gain weight or worry about the blood sugar.

Whenever someone tries to put you down, just ignore them. Those losers want you to think they're better than you are. Don't let them get to you. I've been lucky to have a great support network at my job, as everyone there saw I was losing the weight. Only that one temp wanted to try to get me to eat a 21-carb doughnut, saying, "It's only 21 calories."

Because of everything I did over time, this was the end result:


And I even did my first serious cosplaying as Pretty Cure character Cure Moonlight at Dragon Con recently:


When someone says you can't, let your inner voice say you can. Take as much time as you need, as this is truly a lifestyle change, not a diet. :flowerforyou:

Love the Pics

Actor Brian Cox who also suffers from diabetes did this documentary for BBC it covers a little bit of sugar history as well as Brians issues with diabetes and sugar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_9U5TZiemM

SLLRunner

Fairy Mother,

I've got some really good news for you. When people say those awful things, it's all about them and really has nothing to do with obese people, or anybody else at all. Those types of people, if you will, say things like that to make themselves feel better.

Congratulations on how far you've come and keep going!

Bernadette60614

I'd toss this in:

I earned a college and masters degree because my high school guidance counselor told me that the best course for a kid from a working class family was secretarial school.

I went into a highly competitive business because a male executive told me that women never made it in that field.

I started my own business when many said that I couldn't create a business in a recession.

We had a child when I was in my 40s, cause lots of experts and family told me it was impossible or a terrible idea.

I started doing competitive athletics, cause my doc told me that I had bad knees.

I dropped my bodyfat to the lowest level of my adult life cause my doc told me premenopausal women's weight gain and increase was inevitable.

Whether it is weight or career or family or career, there are always going to be people who are going to put you down.

You just have to keep plugging away....take baby steps towards your goal, learn from your missteps and you'll get there...And it helped me to use those "you can't voices" as motivators.

SLLRunner

Whether it is weight or career or family or career, there are always going to be people who are going to put you down.

You just have to keep plugging away....take baby steps towards your goal, learn from your missteps and you'll get there...And it helped me to use those "you can't voices" as motivators.

I love this.

squishy84

Don't let them affect you...it's definitely hurtful and I hope you're able to get past it.

Haha I Love this!

Hun, feel proud, because you're already on your way - small changes done consistently have huge results! Keep going! xxx