Things People Say When You've Lost Weight

mandasalem

I've gotten the "Don't disappear on us!" *eye roll*

Worst of all is my husband's grandmother, though, who never once commented on my weight before I lost, but now asks me every time I see her if I'm keeping it off, if I'm staying on the scale, if I know that I need to "zip it up" if I see the scale going up a pound or two.

AUUUUGH.

ErinGiam

YES! We just did a weight loss challenge at work and people always said, "oh, you don't need to lose any weight! Have you seen me naked? LOL

stealthq

I totally get how irritating comments beyond "wow, you look great!" can be...

However...

These comments always come from an envious or sad place. Someone sees your accomplishment and it makes them feel like they are inadequate for not having done it themselves. In some people, this results in a snarky comment about "wasting away" or diet pills, others will keep quiet, and a few will be inspired to lose weight or become healthier themselves. Remember, just because someone is thin doesn't mean they will automatically rejoice in your transformation...maybe they thought being thinner was the only thing they were better than you at...and now, that's gone.

Keeping this in mind when people make intrusive or rude comments can help keep your sanity

No. They don't always come from an envious or sad place.

They can also come from people who are genuinely trying to compliment you, but don't understand that telling someone they are 'a skinny minnie' or 'wasting away' can make you feel badly about yourself. People who've never been in the position to be told that are generally not going to understand how it could possibly be a bad thing. And some people who have been in that position don't view it as a bad thing and don't understand why anyone would.

Pirate_chick

I hate it when people say things about me being "skinny." Um, I'm still "obese" according to the BMI scale and am still 30+ pounds from a "healthy" weight for my height. I'm definitely not skinny. Have I lost a lot of weight? Do I look a lot better than I did before? Am I healthier and happier now? All yes, but I'm not skinny by any stretch of the imagination.

I usually just respond with thanks, but I still have a long way to go. I don't want anyone to think that I'm perceiving myself as "done." I won't be "done" ever. This is just how I live now.

OMG ME TOO! I HATE it!!!! Hate, Hate, HATE it!!

Yoles79

I agree. The most annoying for me is when they tell you that you do not need to loose anymore. How would they know.

DamianaKitten

"You're not overweight! Why would you want to lose weight??"

:huh:

I'm 5'6" and weight 230lbs. I am overweight. I want to lose weight because it would please me to not have sore knees from a short walk. Bugger off.

aem135

I know what you mean.

My co-workers tell me all the time that I look good and am losing too much or barely eat!!!!!
I eat healthy homemade meals that I bring to work for breakfast/lunch/snacks and exercise. I'm so proud of my 6lbs loss and progress that I've been making that focusing on the success rather then their comments and opinions is what makes it easier for me to not let what they say get to me!!!!!!!!! Stay strong!!!!!!!!!!

psmd

This is so interesting...I've gotten so many of these comments too...
"you shrink every time I see you"
"you've lost so much weight"
"stop losing weight, you look fine"
"you don't need to lose more weight"
"what are you doing?"
Something to the effect of "you're wasting away"
"you look skinny" (with an annoyed look)

Funny thing is I take ALL of these as compliments...I guess I never considered them rude...maybe I overlooked that but oh well. It's nice to hear, even if it's from a place of jealousy, makes me even more motivated!

belanna5

I lost almost 50 lb years ago and I've been the same weight since.
I've been spending my summer holidays in the same place all my life. There are people who see me every year and every time they say 'OMG, you lost a lot of weight!'
Yes, I did, years ago. I guess the image they have of me will be forever the overweight girl the met years ago.
This year I decided that I will answer with 'No, on the contrary I put on weigth' even if it's not real, just to see their face.

beltrone

IMO everyone is overreacting, weight gain and weight loss was a journey for me. I have lost weight not for others compliments but to prove my iron will and to be shameless in front of any kind of difficult life situation. It was a spiritual journey for me. Controlling your mind rewards in many ways. I am not doing this for others but for my own well being. It taught me patience, tolerance and perseverance. I look way younger and my skin glows, my wrinkles faded due to my state of mind. I am experiencing utter bliss.

Lady_Clarington

I've not lost a lot so don't get comments as you can't really tell but does anyone else find that the only people who want to give you "advice" on dieting are the ones who are obese ones who you know couldn't run up a flight of stairs much less put down the cake and go for a walk?

My mother is a prime example. She's short, diabetic and VERY fat. I'm not sure how far up the obese chart she is but its not good. We've tried to support her in weight loss, show our concern but she seems happy with her blanket of fat and of course we can't force her to exercise.
Where does her own weight problem come from? She has always blamed it on "baby fat". Mother dearest your baby boy is nearly 27 I don't think that excuse works any more.

BUT
She is the first to point out that I'm fat (normally followed by her then spending the rest of the day offering me chocolate - you know to really cement a healthy relationship with food), that I'll get diabetes, that if I don't loose the weight before I'm 30 I'll be "stuck" with it just like she is with hers, that I need to exercise more, that perhaps I should have a week where I just eat soup to "kick start" my body into loosing weight, that I need to try Atkins or eating blueberries, what ever latest fad is on the day time television....

neandermagnon

I'm always surprised at how many people take innocuous comments as deliberate attempts to undermine their progress.

Mostly, people are just trying to be polite, albeit in a somewhat socially awkward way. I mean no-one knows the exact right thing to say 100% of the time, especially when you're dealing with people who are prone to taking stuff the wrong way.

Comments like "are you sick?" - well that's mostly because if people didn't know you were trying to lose weight and then they see you and you're much thinner, they don't know why or how you got thinner, and they don't want to be the d-bag who congratulates someone on their weight loss when that person is ill with something serious and didn't want to lose the weight.

Yes there are people who genuinely feel threatened by others' success and have this need to put others down for it, but they're very much in the minority compared to people who are just trying to be polite and don't know your personal preference as to how you like to be complimented and which compliments you would perceive as backhanded. And even among insecure people who feel threatened by others success, mostly their comments are 100% about themselves, and are them kidding themselves about reality, not them attempting to bring you down. Like the example someone gave of an obese family member who tried and failed to lose weight telling the family they're afraid you have an eating disorder... well if that person were to accept the truth that you lost weight through going to the gym and watching your portion sizes, then they'd also have to accept the reality that their own failure is due to them not doing the right things or not working hard enough, and that's a truth they don't want to accept so they kid themselves that they're doing everything they possibly can and you must be doing something wrong to have lost all that weight... i.e. it's all about kidding themselves, not about trying to undermine you. And the same with people not wanting to believe your success is due to hard work and portion control and asking you what pill or fad you did that worked.... it's 100% about them and 0% about you. So that leaves very few people who are actually attempting to undermine your progress. Most people really are not that b****y.

neandermagnon

This is so interesting...I've gotten so many of these comments too...
"you shrink every time I see you"
"you've lost so much weight"
"stop losing weight, you look fine"
"you don't need to lose more weight"
"what are you doing?"
Something to the effect of "you're wasting away"
"you look skinny" (with an annoyed look)

Funny thing is I take ALL of these as compliments...I guess I never considered them rude...maybe I overlooked that but oh well. It's nice to hear, even if it's from a place of jealousy, makes me even more motivated!

I think you're right to take them as compliments. I think people only make themselves miserable if they see veiled insults or sabotage in compliments, when usually it's just people trying to be nice and say *something* even if they don't know exactly what to say.

Even if it was intended as a backhanded compliment, smiling and saying "thanks!" is the best response to that because then their attempt to hurt you failed. So taking stuff as genuine compliments is a win-win situation.

sarahslim100

Last time I got, "Looking good!! you've lost weight". 6 months after I saw someone previously. I only lost 3 kg between then, but it must have showed!!

SpicesOfLife

I'm always surprised at how many people take innocuous comments as deliberate attempts to undermine their progress.

Mostly, people are just trying to be polite, albeit in a somewhat socially awkward way. I mean no-one knows the exact right thing to say 100% of the time, especially when you're dealing with people who are prone to taking stuff the wrong way.

Comments like "are you sick?" - well that's mostly because if people didn't know you were trying to lose weight and then they see you and you're much thinner, they don't know why or how you got thinner, and they don't want to be the d-bag who congratulates someone on their weight loss when that person is ill with something serious and didn't want to lose the weight.

Yes there are people who genuinely feel threatened by others' success and have this need to put others down for it, but they're very much in the minority compared to people who are just trying to be polite and don't know your personal preference as to how you like to be complimented and which compliments you would perceive as backhanded. And even among insecure people who feel threatened by others success, mostly their comments are 100% about themselves, and are them kidding themselves about reality, not them attempting to bring you down. Like the example someone gave of an obese family member who tried and failed to lose weight telling the family they're afraid you have an eating disorder... well if that person were to accept the truth that you lost weight through going to the gym and watching your portion sizes, then they'd also have to accept the reality that their own failure is due to them not doing the right things or not working hard enough, and that's a truth they don't want to accept so they kid themselves that they're doing everything they possibly can and you must be doing something wrong to have lost all that weight... i.e. it's all about kidding themselves, not about trying to undermine you. And the same with people not wanting to believe your success is due to hard work and portion control and asking you what pill or fad you did that worked.... it's 100% about them and 0% about you. So that leaves very few people who are actually attempting to undermine your progress. Most people really are not that b****y.

much truth in this insightful post.

katznkt

Lately I'm being asked jokingly if I'm a new girl. Since I've worked in the same department for 3 years it is kind of annoying.

But I get what they are saying and appreciate that to them I must look really different.

estaticaa

I'm always surprised at how many people take innocuous comments as deliberate attempts to undermine their progress.

Mostly, people are just trying to be polite, albeit in a somewhat socially awkward way. I mean no-one knows the exact right thing to say 100% of the time, especially when you're dealing with people who are prone to taking stuff the wrong way.

Comments like "are you sick?" - well that's mostly because if people didn't know you were trying to lose weight and then they see you and you're much thinner, they don't know why or how you got thinner, and they don't want to be the d-bag who congratulates someone on their weight loss when that person is ill with something serious and didn't want to lose the weight.

Yes there are people who genuinely feel threatened by others' success and have this need to put others down for it, but they're very much in the minority compared to people who are just trying to be polite and don't know your personal preference as to how you like to be complimented and which compliments you would perceive as backhanded. And even among insecure people who feel threatened by others success, mostly their comments are 100% about themselves, and are them kidding themselves about reality, not them attempting to bring you down. Like the example someone gave of an obese family member who tried and failed to lose weight telling the family they're afraid you have an eating disorder... well if that person were to accept the truth that you lost weight through going to the gym and watching your portion sizes, then they'd also have to accept the reality that their own failure is due to them not doing the right things or not working hard enough, and that's a truth they don't want to accept so they kid themselves that they're doing everything they possibly can and you must be doing something wrong to have lost all that weight... i.e. it's all about kidding themselves, not about trying to undermine you. And the same with people not wanting to believe your success is due to hard work and portion control and asking you what pill or fad you did that worked.... it's 100% about them and 0% about you. So that leaves very few people who are actually attempting to undermine your progress. Most people really are not that b****y.

Love, love this. I used to get really annoyed when I first started to control my portions and my parents would worry that I could develop an eating disorder in the long run. Mind you, they're both obese and choose to believe their extra weight is merely a biological thing, a natural progression as they get older. They don't own up their own mistakes, so they prefer to think I'm the one starving myself. I know they love me and wish me to be healthy, so it's not as annoying as it used to be. I get that. It's not about me and my choices, it's about them not wanting to face reality. Now that I've lost 5kg and am in much better shape, they're starting to actually listen to what I say about their food portions. They haven't made any major changes yet, but at least they stopped criticizing me as much and I've noticed they're eating a bit less than they used to.

SpicesOfLife

Love, love this. I used to get really annoyed when I first started to control my portions and my parents would worry that I could develop an eating disorder in the long run. Mind you, they're both obese and choose to believe their extra weight is merely a biological thing, a natural progression as they get older. They don't own up their own mistakes, so they prefer to think I'm the one starving myself. I know they love me and wish me to be healthy, so it's not as annoying as it used to be. I get that. It's not about me and my choices, it's about them not wanting to face reality. Now that I've lost 5kg and am in much better shape, they're starting to actually listen to what I say about their food portions. They haven't made any major changes yet, but at least they stopped criticizing me as much and I've noticed they're eating a bit less than they used to.

being a good example is the best we can do. people around us are bound to start thinking.

everforever8

The one thing that I find interesting and slightly amusing was when people asked me what I did (back when I dropped almost 100 pounds) and I tell them-"eat right, exercise" their face would just drop with disappointment because they were expecting me to say "Oh I did X cleanse" or "took X pills". People assume that you took an 'easy' route, when really you just did what you're supposed to: Eat right and work your *kitten* off

rocketblaster

My brother-in-law said, "did you get a tapeworm or something?" I actually thought it was one of the best compliments I've received It should be noted he does really enjoy teasing me - but I felt complimented by his acknowledgement of my weight loss. I do agree that people will tell you that you are "wasting away" because on come level you look good, but they don't necessarily want you to look too much better:)

brasslady1

Lol.......I really love it when I see a close friend that I haven't seen in let say in about 6 months..........and the last time they saw you ...you were about 40 lbs heavier.........and they say nothing at all..........you can either take it that they didn't think you were heavy or maybe just being a little envious.......who knows but I know it really bugs me...

RINat612

Well this happened to me for the first time on Monday of this week. Two female co-workers were teasing me about how I am getting "too skinny". One of them eventually said that I no longer have a butt for her to look at anymore... lol. My wife loved that one when I told her. It's kind of nice to hear something like that after never hearing it your whole life.

caramel1920

Well, not getting the comments about how I look because I'm not there yet, but I am getting comments about what I eat.."is that all you're eating?" "There she goes again with that boring lunch" "Do you want some?" "Girl, life's too short, just eat what you want" When I assure them that I am eating what I want and that my food is delicious they don't believe me, which is fine, it's just annoying as hell sometimes!!!! I'm going to continue to have my fresh fruit and cottage cheese with my lunch and they're just gonna have to put on their big girl panties and deal with it! :bigsmile:

morehealthymatt

You don't need to lose anymore weight.

dianalee9

The last conversation with one of my sister-in-laws (who is also overweight, her and I used to borrow each others clothes):

Her: "Oh wow! You really are losing weight. What are you doing?"
Me: "Working out every day, and watching what I eat mainly"
Her: "Oh? That's it? I've never been able lose with that easily"
Me: (chuckling) "Oh it's not easy. It's taken me a lot of willpower to get to this point and there are still days where I need to talk myself into it, but it is getting easier as things become habit"
Her: "Well, I just REFUSE to eat like a bird to lose weight, I love food and I'm not going to starve myself"
Me: "I'm not starving myself, and I love food too. That's how I gained all the weight to begin with. But I use this website called My Fitness Pal where you can log all your food and workouts and talk to like-minded people to help reach your goals. I still eat, and I can eat pretty much whatever I want as long as I stay within my calories. It's actually a pretty awesome site and it's free"
Her: (rolling her eyes) "Ohhhhh....so you're one of THOSE people that actually weigh their food before they eat?? Oh God!! I don't even want to here anymore about it because with me being a stay at home mom with two kids, I don't even have the time to think about doing that"
Me: (with a **** eating grin) "Ok. Well thanks for noticing though. That really means a lot to me. It really gives me the encouragement to keep going"

And she hasn't spoken to me since! Can you tell how much I care? :bigsmile:

sinistraltyger

Though I have lost a significant amount of weight, I still wear the larger items until they just will not fit anymore -- I am good with loose clothing. *grin* It's when I actually wear something in my new size that it makes people look at me a couple of times, and then when they see me in the baggy clothes and suddenly realize they must have "imagined" it. When I have to completely change out my larger clothing sizes, is when I expect people to be surprised and the odd comments to come.

dlbredesen

Yesterday at work two of the women I work with were talking about weight. Both of them are overweight. One said that she read a study saying people at middle age and older should carry some extra weight. According to this "study" the body can use that extra "cushion" when health problems happen. I didn't participate in the conversation, just listened.

svsl0928

Sometimes people don't want you to continue because its an in your face reminder of what they should be doing. They mean well but does not realized it how comes across. Bottom-line: Do what's best for you!

PS: I had someone ask me if I was sick an another asked if I was losing on purpose.:indifferent:

newteachermom

Uhm, I tooooootally agree!! I've heard:

"Don't lose it all!"
"Don't lose too much!"
"You look sickly" - my husband in an effort to get me to eat pizza so that he could eat some pizza. Didn't work.

It's super-duper annoying because then I want to be like, "Ohhh, okay. I'll eat that donut."

I know it's hard to see change but I just want people to say, "Awesome job! Keep it up!"

If you hear me throwing up in the bathroom then you should worry about me losing too much.

Rant over here too.

lauly101

This guy at work who said 'you're not doing insanity are you? It's too hard for you' etc. etc. in Jan said to me the other day 'omg how much have you lost if you don't mind me asking?' (I don't!) me: '15lb' him: 'wow that's too much. You're too thin, you need to stop'. He says it with such controlling authority it does my head in. OK. I AM thinner than when I started (Jan 6th) but I am still a bit heavier than I want to be. I just said 'Well I was fat before' (which I was lol) and he said 'no you weren't' and me (because I can't help but bite) 'well I was a sz 16-18 before and at an unhealthy BMI. I was fat.' I *think* he is actually trying to be complimentary (well I know he was coz he was so nice before saying I looked ace) but it's just the authoritative way he says it like he knows everything about fitness just coz he is a primary school PE teacher it does my head in (poor dear was only being nice). Thing is, I sit with my arms out and theyre really thin and people just look at them and think 'she's dead thin' but really if I sat on the desk (I'm in Year R so am sat on a tiny desk lol) with my flabby cellulitic thighs and ample butt handing out people would think differently. I'd also get a disciplinary for sitting semi nude lol.