Things People Say When You've Lost Weight

HollisGrant

I wonder if people don't realise that some people don't want to hear this stuff. It's nice when someone says "You're looking good today" ect but the wasting away and rude comments... I just don't understand why people say them =/ I still just smile and say I have a long way to go before i'm healthy. I guess that's all we really can do.

I think it would be okay to tell your family exactly what you've said here... that you really don't want to hear that stuff, the wasting away and rude comments, that the compliments and support are nice, but to stop the rest.

Boogage

I posted a photo of myself in a new outfit on Facebook the other day and was amazed at how many people (who haven't seen me for years) thought they could post opinions about my body. I felt like a minor celebrity! 'You've gone too far' 'You're wasting away' ect but there was a few nice comments too. I'm really not sure why people think they have the right to comment on such a personal thing but for the most part, I just ignored their comments. The only person who's comments affect me are my OH's as my weight loss has made him feel insecure, I guess due to my increased confidence and various items of clothing in the wardrobe that I would never have considered wearing before. He does affectionately call me his little twig now but I'm cool with that lol.

Strangegirlz

she routinely gets people who ask her if she's expecting...

As a guy, I learned a long time ago: Unless you see a baby poking out from between her legs, never, ever, ever comment, assuming a woman is pregnant. :embarassed:

So true, even if it seems very obvious. I have a friend, she is so skinny in her legs and has no bum, but a lot of excess weight round her middle. She gets asked daily

StheK

Totally agree with the above - it's a strange phenomenon! I think it can come from not only a place of jealousy, but also friends and family worry that if you change so dramatically on the outside, you won't be the same person on the inside.

I remember when I was a kid my mum lost a tonne of weight. Everyone was complimenting her and congratulating her...but I hated it, I felt like she wasn't the same mum I had known my whole life! She looked different, dressed differently and had a new air of confidence which meant she acted a little differently too. I was only 9 or so, so didn't really "get it", but it makes me see where that kind of behaviour comes from.

Great perspective.

StheK

People just should not make comments about weight. At all. When I see someone who looks like they have lost weight I may tell them they look great or I love their outfit on them,etc, but I think weight related comments are just rude. Although maybe its because I grew up on a household where everyone commented on each other's weight constantly. Ugh. Not doing that to my kids.
Anyway, my point is, loss or gain...dont comment. Maybe they are sick and dont mean to be losing, maybe they are pregnant and have gained a few but dont want to make it public yet. You just never know.

THIS. If you must comment, tell them they look nice. *Anything else is none of your business.* It might feel like your business because you can see a change, but they don't have a choice about whether or not you see that change. It's often a very private battle that they are forced to carry out in public because it impacts the way they look to other people.

There will be people who enjoy being asked about their weight loss, but these are the people who will tell you they lost weight when you tell them they look nice, which opens the door to whatever else you might want to (politely) ask about or comment on.

lynnerack

I've reached my goal weight this week and have been really pleased with myself. Then on Thursday, at my Art Group, I was taken aside by the chairman who looked very serious and said to me "Promise me you won't lose any more weight!" This really deflated me as my BMI is just over 24 so I'm not wasting a way!
How dare people say things like that!

angie007az

I work from home so no one in the office has seen me in a few months. At Christmas this year, I hope to surprise some relatives. I'll post the reactions. You go Girl.

angie007az

Lynnerack, Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. I'm proud of you.

angie007az

A co-worker once said to me... "If you could just gain weight in your face"
Hahahaha.

Now that is rude. Hope you laughed in her face.

JamieG8991

OMG YES!!! I get comments from "friends" all the time that are meant to be nice, I guess but they sound to me like they're just jealous. For example..."You're too skinny!" You should probably stop posting about your weight loss so much on Facebook. People are gonna start hating you for it! WTF!!!! And these people are my friends???? :laugh:

89nunu

'Stop dieting your getting too skinny' or
'can't you afford to eat anymore?'

I want to tell these people that I'm eating 2500 calories and bulking right now... but I don't because I people that give snidy comments like that don't deserve an honest answer that tells them about my personal life.

Some people are just not capable of just being happy for others. You know your awesome, they probably know your awesome, that's all that you should care about!

clarebailey355

I've had the "You're wasting away!" a few times recently; I'm 5' 2" and 130 pounds and working on burning fat and building muscle and d'you know what? They ain't seen nothing yet.

heylookitsval

It's weird, but I get uncomfortable when people ask me to help them lose weight...I'm no trainer/nutritionist, I'm still trying to figure out what works for me!

CHRISTTY33

Really what it is, is people don't really know what to say, it seems to be awkward for some people to be honest and simple. Don't take it to heart they see you still have weight to lose just don't know how to be supportive and honest at the same time.

lharri0209

My favorite quote is: "What are you doing to lose weight?"

--As if healthy eating and exercise isn't obvious. Yet, they so look stunned by my response.

Another response that I have gotten from a friend was: "I am so jealous of your weight loss. I want to lose weight too. "

--That is really annoying to me because I don't lose weight for anyone else...aside from my children. I do it for my health and instead of being jealous, how about joining me. Don't ask me for my advice just to be eating chips and a cupcake 2 min later. :noway:

I guess that they mean well though. Rant over. lol

Andibenni

My mum said to me last week "You've lost weight .." ( I was waiting for the compliment but got)... you'd look better if you lost another 3 or 4 stones. Good job she's my mother! :laugh:

ND_Figgzie

Open mouth, insert foot. sometimes its tough to take the high road!

grace42d

My sister told me that she had "no time for all those hoity-toity rich snobby women who spend their lives trying to fit into size 0 clothes". Firstly, I just started working after several years of unemployment so am in no way rich. I can't even afford a gym right now with a job. Secondly, I am not a snob, and finally I am only 5'2" tall. Just because the fashion industry created a stupid sizing system, doesn't mean I am a b****

mattbell007

In the course of me losing weight, I've received some variation of most of the comments mentioned in this thread... plus one I didn't see. When my brother-in-law saw me for the first time in more than a year, he said "You look like an Auschwitz survivor!"

I take all the comments as complements. Of course, I'm very comfortable with myself, very emotionally stable, and very hard to offend. My self-worth doesn't come from other people or what they think of me (with the possible exception of my wife).

When people tell me it's like I've lost a whole other person, I agree with them, because 115 lbs could easily be another person. When they tell me I'm half the man I used to be, I agree. (That's not really true, but it's close enough to laugh about.)

I've had people tell me I don't need to lose any more weight, even when I was still just barely crossing the line from Obese to Overweight. I don't feel bad about comments like that because, what they are really saying is that I've made a lot of progress, and that is true. If I reply at all, I simply say something akin to "I'm keeping track of that." (Or "I'm getting close," which now happens to be true.)

The most uncomfortable comments I've gotten was from my manager at work about not needing to lose any more weight and that I wasn't the same person she hired. My response was simply that I am keeping close track of where I am and have no intention of becoming underweight, and that I hoped me being different from who they hired was a good thing. (It helps that my job performance is excellent.)

If people ask me how I did it, I tell them... diet and exercise; calories in and calories out. If they want to know more, I'm happy to bore them to tears with details. I'm proud of what I've done, and happy to share.

I throw all comments I get from people about my weight loss into three categories:

1. Comments that are true, or mostly true. I agree with the other person on all of these, even if it means agreeing that I was the size of an ocean liner before I started losing weight. If it's true, it's true, even if it is not complimentary to me. If anything, it just emphasizes how much progress I'm making. If I get a comment about myself that is true but I don't like it, I consider the ways I can change myself or my behavior to be a better person. Getting mad or upset about a statement of the truth is about as productive as getting mad at gravity.

2. Comments that are not true. These come from people who are either ignorant (uninformed) or mean. I surround myself with people who are generally nice, so I go about my life assuming people aren't trying to be mean to me. The most ignorant thing people say is that I don't need to lose any more weight. If it's not true, it's not true. Untrue comments don't really apply to me so I make no emotional investment in them, and don't get mad about them. If they insist it's the truth and I evaluate the comment otherwise, I say so. I know where I am.

3. Comments with some truth and some exaggeration that are meant to be funny. I laugh along with the person and never take offense. (I laughed at the comment about me being an Auschwitz survivor. I'm clearly not anywhere close to that, but relative to where I was, it might seem that way on the surface.)


People who let others' comments about their appearance make them mad or upset really need to do a lot more emotional work on themselves. They are seriously at risk of letting other people be in charge of their life. They need to grow up. You may not be able to control what other people say, but you can control your reaction to what they say, if you are an adult.

LinOtt

(Quote)

I take all the comments as complements. Of course, I'm very comfortable with myself, very emotionally stable, and very hard to offend. My self-worth doesn't come from other people or what they think of me (with the possible exception of my wife).

When people tell me it's like I've lost a whole other person, I agree with them, because 115 lbs could easily be another person. When they tell me I'm half the man I used to be, I agree. (That's not really true, but it's close enough to laugh


1. Comments that are true, or mostly true. I agree with the other person on all of these, even if it means agreeing that I was the size of an ocean liner before I started losing weight. If it's true, it's true, even if it is not complimentary to me. If anything, it just emphasizes how much progress I'm making. If I get a comment about myself that is true but I don't like it, I consider the ways I can change myself or my behavior to be a better person. Getting mad or upset about a statement of the truth is about as productive as getting mad at gravity.


People who let others' comments about their appearance make them mad or upset really need to do a lot more emotional work on themselves. They are seriously at risk of letting other people be in charge of their life. They need to grow up. You may not be able to control what other people say, but you can control your reaction to what they say, if you are an adult.
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I agree with you here. Most people who comment mean well, those that dont who cares? I have found this knowledge liberating. I can also report that all of my colleagues are happy for me, and at my work place there have been significant changes as a result of my weightloss journey to those around me's diets. We have even started a lunchtime salad club!

Hitsujikai

My Girlfriend and my best friend have really hammered home the difference between the sexes when it comes to asking about weight loss.

Girlfriend: "You look slim, have you lost weight?"

Best friend: "You look less fat"

Cheers mate :grumble:

daisydesigner66

it would be nice for all the people in our lives to be supportive when we are working hard to be healthy; however, not all people are that way. The ones that say you look go the way you are generally are the ones that are insecure in themselves or jealous of your weight loss. I have had family say it but it doesn't bother me anymore. You just have to be proud of what you have accomplished and never mind those people. Just smile and say thank you. and leave the rest of your sentence in your head....for being so supportive lol

Alisontheice

I've been getting the "you shouldn't lose anymore weight you are too skinny". One person asked if I had calculated my ideal weight, yes and I am still a bit away from that since that is basically my goal!

My mom always keeps me in my place. The second I eat something junky I get the "you don't want to pack on the pounds again." Love ya mom.

jrhm

I run into this a lot; I always thought it was because people thought I didn't need to loose weight in the first place, but I knew I did. When I was uncomfortable all the time, had no energy, clothes too tight - that was my push to get back in shape. At my age, too many added pounds is definitely not good; I am 70 years old and have never been obese, but I have been overweight. Usually the people who say this are overweight themselves and don't want to do what it takes to get their bodies in shape. There is longevity in my family...Dad is 99 and still going strong; his sibs lived well into their 90's, some over 100. My Mom's family lived into their late 80's and 90's too, so I have to take care of this body, it is the only one God gave me and he expects me to respect it. So, to everyone who says...you don't need to loose weight...go take a hike!

holagatita

lol yesterday someone asked me if I was doing it in a healthy way. I was a little insulted because I breastfeed my baby so why would I take pills and junk and risk her heath? People are stupid!

aba_luna

Most of the comments I received don't bother me that much. It must be weird for them to see you overweight and then "skinny." I never understood until my sister lost 20 lbs. You get preoccupied in a way and mention things to make sure everything is okay. However, there's always a way to comment. It bothered me the most when I fist started loosing weight. I had people telling me that they didn't have to do much or to join groups to lose weight. Some didn't believe I was losing until I lost 20lbs. They then started joking that I was "skinny," even though I am still 20lbs overweight. The only comments I now recieve is that I should not be losing more, but those don't bother me since in a way I feel they see the result of what I worked for. Some just don't considere me overweight, and that's rewarding in a way.

angie007az

I can't wait for Christmas. I'm going out of state to visit relatives. I'll have to see what sort of comments I get. Most of these people don't know I'm on a goal to lose "tons of weight".

goalss4nika

Sadly, I lost my best friend of over 22 years because she thought I was putting too much time into exercise and the gym. She basically degrated me for trying to improve myself. The comments she said to me were so hurtful, but I guess in life when you start to do something for yourself and STOP putting other people first, people disappear from your life. Other comments/questions I've had to deal with is, how do you have time to work out with two children? I couldn't do all that. That's too much. Well, I joined a gym that has childcare included with my membership. Basically, I make time for what I want

JoanieGirl2492

I got (just last night) - "You look good! You lost a lot of f@#$in' weight!"

Umm, thanks?

I do like the "eat something!"

My favorite was a friend of mine telling me "damn girl, let's go have a quickie." With my husband right there haha!

People don't think. Never do. Never will. Be graceful. Say thank you.

arbolesta1

To OP:

YES YES YES! I heard things like that a thousand times from my roommates when I first lost weight (I have since gained it back and am currently trying to lose it all again). I got down to 125 and I'm 5'0. My original (and now current) weight was around 150. I was jogging and eating healthy. Both were big girls but one in particular told me that they were "worried about me" because I was losing too much weight. I'd only lost 25 pounds and was just barely in the healthy BMI range. ^-^" They told me I didn't need to lose anymore and that I should slow my jogging down. Just don't be like me. In the end, I slowly stopped jogging altogether and went back to my old eating habits.