Weight Loss Jealousy

paulygi

LOL. Really?!

I've been (am) the jealous one. For me, it's not about my SO looking for another woman or not finding me attractive. I know he loves me unconditionally and that he is committed to me and our relationship.

I'm jealous of the time he gets to spend on himself.

Be honest with yourself. Does she REALLY have the same amount of time to herself as you do? Does she have free time or is that time spent picking up after the kids and you? You say she shops sometimes during the day. Is that grocery shopping and household shopping or is that shopping for herself. Just herself?

Even if she does have the time, does she believe she does? Or, does she think that if she doesn't do X it won't get done therefore she has to do it?

Does she show her love through food? Are you no longer eating her food and, therefore, rejecting her love?

These are just some things that fuel my own jealousy.

Thanks for giving me your insight.

She does most of her shopping alone or with the oldest.

She has the time just needs to prioritize.

Yes she shows me love through food. She has been awsome that way. The last few weeks have gotten better and better. Will post an update soon

paulygi

I'm happy to report she seems to be over this hump. She is more happy these days. She has been planning and cooking meals that are good for the whole family including me. I cook too.

Everything is good in bed too. I could always have more or go back for seconds, thirds,..., but I'll just take this one day at a time. I do tell her these things from time to time too. Just so she knows I'm absolutely nuts for her.

Today she even sent me a pic of the twins with a love you. She has never done that before.

Thank you everyone who helped!

paulygi

OP I can completely understand what you are going through. My husband and I have been married for 18 years with 2 girls, 16 and 11. We are happily married, but he is jealous of my success. Not because he can't lose weight, but because I have the drive to do something about it. He is in some kind of a depression and can't kick himself out of it. Seeing me full of energy and feeling good makes him feel bad about himself. He has a lot of physical aches and pains from his job that we both know would feel better if he took better care of himself, but he just doesn't have the will power or desire to do it.

I don't have any advice on you and your wife other then to keep reassuring her and don't give up. I just wanted to offer support that you are not alone. I hope you and your wive figure it out.

Thanks. Yeah its pretty much if I got a complement she was thinking the opposite was said to her. I fully understand. With hockey season going now we are running into alot of people that haven't seen me for monthes and the responses are so motivating. I was worried she was going to get supper upset but she seems to be on the up and up. I'd swear shes dropped a few lbs recently too.

alittleteapot

Difficult situation getting a baby sitter for 6. But the kids are all at school pr daycare all day. She works around the house most days. Shops others.

The thing is 6 kids in not too hard. We don't really think of them as a job though.

Hockey season is here now so she'll get plenty of time talking with the others moms at the rink. 3 kids playing this year.

LOL. Really?!

I've been (am) the jealous one. For me, it's not about my SO looking for another woman or not finding me attractive. I know he loves me unconditionally and that he is committed to me and our relationship.

I'm jealous of the time he gets to spend on himself.

Be honest with yourself. Does she REALLY have the same amount of time to herself as you do? Does she have free time or is that time spent picking up after the kids and you? You say she shops sometimes during the day. Is that grocery shopping and household shopping or is that shopping for herself. Just herself?

Even if she does have the time, does she believe she does? Or, does she think that if she doesn't do X it won't get done therefore she has to do it?

Does she show her love through food? Are you no longer eating her food and, therefore, rejecting her love?

These are just some things that fuel my own jealousy.

This is so on point!

Glad to hear things are getting better, though.

Judybowler

Hang in there!!! I know what you are going thru....just remember to keep the lines of communication open..that is the MOST important thing...its hard..but you will get thru it....just hang in there.... I have been on both sides of the coin...one where my hubby was losing weight and looked awesome...(and he still does even though he gained weight back) and now me on the weight loss rollercoaster...and the one girl that posted that not only does your weight change, but your whole persona changes...and its alot of change happenening all at once...so its hard for the other person to take all of this change in....keep chatting and keep the faith... good luck!!

WannabeStressFree

I think she might feel like she lost her "fat buddy", I've had many friends react negatively when I became more active and less unhealthy. She might feel insecure that you might leave her now, like maybe it's a mid life crisis you're going through.
All I can say is reassure her you love her, and slowly she might turn around. Good luck!