Relationships v weightloss / health
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When I was with my ex fiance' it was nothing but a rollercoaster for me and my weight. It was super hard keeping my weight down because all he wanted to do was go out to eat and not the healthiest places either. All he would eat was junk and greasy foods and would pressure me all the time to eat it with him. This guy had a great metabolism without working out so he really didn't get how hard it was for females to stay fit. On top of eating so bad, he had a bad heart and high blood pressure, so I can't imagine what all the burgers and fries were doing to that. When I finally put my foot down for myself, things started getting rocky. I think it's all about finding someone who shares the same lifestyle choices as you do. When you want to cook healthy and workout and your partner doesn't want to eat anything but McDonalds, it clashes and it's hard.0
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It has put some complexity into mine and my husband's relationship, but more than anything I think we have become stronger individuals and as a team too. We were already pretty fit and active people (but I noticed that with recent hormonal changes and basically doing the same routine I had gained some fat), so it was a bit hard to grasp and understand the additional effort that I was putting into it.
Initially, it put a strain on things because I was so excited about my weight/fat loss and finally finding something that I enjoyed, that it took a little while to balance everything else in my life with it. Plus, I was grossly undereating and that made me tired and cranky. But we did talk through things (because that's what husbands and wives do), and like I mentioned in another thread, my birthday gifts in June from him were all fitness related. A month later, he had something of an epiphany when he couldn't complete one of my circuit training DVDs, but he was throwing a 6'3" frame around doing burpees and lunges (as opposed to me is hard doing the same with a 5'1" frame). Now we have a shared interest/passion in fitness and weight loss and I'm incredibly proud of him for how far he has come in a short period of time.
Frankly, I still tend to talk a lot about how I'm progressing with my lifts, and I have probably spent more money on cute sports bras and a squat rack but for all our intents and purposes fitness and health IS a factor in our relationship and we have learned to give it it's due worth.0 -
I was always told to stop and to stop being 'obsessed' but it's very well known now to just let me be
I think when someone start dating someone that is big into fitness then they need to realise that working out is part of who that person is and if they cannot accept that then they need to move on. Do not let anybody try to talk you out of working out just to spend more time with them when the working out was there before them.0 -
I think I'm pretty lucky in that my fiance has been super supportive, he even started running with me. Just about the only time he whines is when I don't want to spend a bunch of calories drinking with him or eating a cheeseburger, but for the most part he's happy I'm becoming a healthier me.
See my boyfriend is supportive... He comments on the changes I've made and my body. But he still always wants to eat out and he does no exercise. And I'm kind of finding him less appealing in not sharing my new found love of life? Eg: I'd like to go for a picnic or a walk, he'd like to watch a movie or go to dinner like we've done a million times before
I feel horrible saying it because he's beautiful in general![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
Hahah. We are in the same boat.0 -
I pursue running & fitness and my husband perfects his home brewing of craft beer. We are 2 different people with 2 different sets of interests. But, we are undeniably 100% comitted to each other and we cheer each other on. I do things that are in line with his hobby (ie beer paring dinners, craft beer themed events...and there are TONS of them!!) and he supports my racing and training schedule. We are going to DC in just over 2 weeks so I can run my first full marathon. We support each other, we don't have to be exactly alike.
Welcome to my neck of the woods.
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I pursue running & fitness and my husband perfects his home brewing of craft beer. We are 2 different people with 2 different sets of interests. But, we are undeniably 100% comitted to each other and we cheer each other on. I do things that are in line with his hobby (ie beer paring dinners, craft beer themed events...and there are TONS of them!!) and he supports my racing and training schedule. We are going to DC in just over 2 weeks so I can run my first full marathon. We support each other, we don't have to be exactly alike.
Welcome to my neck of the woods.
Mine, too. We have divided interests and we encourage each other equally. We are able to be individuals in our relationship. I've always been heavy and just got heavier after getting married. I'm now below my weight when we started dating and my husband has been completely awesome...cheering me on every day. No matter my weight, he's always been loving, kind and supportive. Now, I feel better about myself and know that he's sincerely proud of my efforts and accomplishments...which makes me feel incredibly loved!0 -
My husband is a very active person, which keeps me active. Had I married someone else I'd probably be more sedentary and maybe heavier.0
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My bf chills me out... Yesterday he got snarky with me since I woudn't eat my mom's birthday cake since I didn't know how to log it and didn't feel like estimating and waited till I got home and made myself a 321 mug cake.. He told me that I should have just made it work with my "calorie thingy". He was probably right.0
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Thankfully, no. I've heard many a horror story, but our relationship is actually getting better because hubby jumped on board the health train a couple months after I did and once he did, his mood (in general) improved, his confidence got better and... well, bedtime has been.... interesting :smokin: Perhaps if I had done this a few years ago there could have been more problems since it would have stressed me out more, but not at this point as far as I know, lol0
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See my boyfriend is supportive... He comments on the changes I've made and my body. But he still always wants to eat out and he does no exercise. And I'm kind of finding him less appealing in not sharing my new found love of life? Eg: I'd like to go for a picnic or a walk, he'd like to watch a movie or go to dinner like we've done a million times before
I feel horrible saying it because he's beautiful in general
Hahah. We are in the same boat.
Ah good to know!
I've read all the responses on here and it's great to see so many supportive couples who work together.
Interesting that a few have mentioned craft beers, probably my boyfriends only real interest. haha It'd just be nice if he was being passionate about something while I'm passionate about my health if he can't get on board with that one? We're meant to live together next year and I just see myself digressing a lot with his current habit of work, sleep and pig out. 0 -
Update: We are now cooking healthy alternatives together. Great for bonding and for the waist.
Exercise is still a hurdle, but he is willing to do it with me sometimes. One time, he even thanked me for it and kicked my butt! It was great because I wanted to give in, but he pushed me further than I thought I could muster! Just be patient. 0 -
Once I started being more active and watching my intake, I was dismayed to realize how much of our relationship revolved around food...eating out, going to the movies and eating, watching TV and eating, etc. Thankfully over time we have been able to turn that around and make the focus more on active outings, and plan ahead (picnic lunch, packed snacks, go after lunch, etc.) so that we don't end up eating out due to convenience as frequently.0
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When I was with my ex I packed on 50 pounds rapidly due to bad habbits and laziness. I did finally manage to lose it last year and keep it off but I still have a ways to go I am still a bit out of shape. I've had issues with my weight for a long time and my relationship with food is less than healthy and for some reason he brought out the worst in me. A little background, I have been known to overeat and went through a period of starvation and purging as a teenager; ever since I got sick as a teen I feel like I'm looking at myself in a funhouse mirror. I don't blame him entirely for my weight gain because he never put a gun to my head and forced me to eat but he certainly did not make things easy for me due to poor eating habbits and making it difficult for me to get my workouts done; the man was very much stuck in his ways and was not willing to make changes that would be beneficial to both of us. The final straw was when he cheated and then lied to my face about it but the fact that he brought out the worst in me and was not supportive of my efforts to reclaim my life and health were a big part of why I left.
The man I'm with now is great. He's not exactly the picture of health due to lack of exercise, poor nutrition and years of partying hard ( guitar player who spent the better part of the past 15 years or so touring and whatnot) but he's been nothing but encouraging and supportive of my efforts to reclaim my health. He has not changed his habbits but at the same time does not try to drag me down because he knows that would make me miserable and he wants me to be happy. He acknowledges that he ought to exercise, drink less and eat better but he's just not ready to make the changes .0 -
I found my relationship to be a contribution to my weight gain! its the honeymoon period of going out to dinner accompanied by wine, going out for cocktails etc. it doesnt help when he tells me i'm 'crazy, not fat, perfect' etc, which is okay for him the skinny bugger! he's really into yoga so i'm taking that up too, and ive decided enough is enough the honeymoon period can come to an abrupt stop as far as sociable eating and drinking is concerned, its no excuse and i can make my own choices haha! gotta look and feel good for ourselves anyway havent we?0
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I met my awesome boyfriend on MFP, so right from the start we had similar goals/values when it comes to fitness/health. We motivate and push each other and have just as much fun stuffing our faces with sushi as we do going for a bike ride (okay, sushi may be slightly higher on the fun list than biking, but it's close enough )
Where do all the single people meet up? I've been hearing lots of love stories lately!0 -
I met my awesome boyfriend on MFP, so right from the start we had similar goals/values when it comes to fitness/health. We motivate and push each other and have just as much fun stuffing our faces with sushi as we do going for a bike ride (okay, sushi may be slightly higher on the fun list than biking, but it's close enough )
Where do all the single people meet up? I've been hearing lots of love stories lately!
He found me through a local group on here, sent me a FR and then I had to ask him out because he was too shy
Worth it though, he's pretty fantastic...but don't tell him I told you that, don't want it to go to his head... 0 -
It's not just you. I have completely changed my lifestyle when it comes to shopping and eating.
My wife, shio is also overweight, just can't get into the working out and losing weight. I have tried to be positive with trying to get her to do it and even got firm in my expectations. Don't get me wqrong, i ain't going anywhere, lol, i just want her to feel as good as i feel.
It affects alot of aspects in our relationship also.
you are welkcome to friend me if you need to talk or just blow off.
Congrats on your decision to live well and be healthy, it's not easy.0 -
it seems to get mentioned within other threads quite a lot!
Did your relationship effect your lifestyle change? Or did a relationship encourage you to change?
I'm just curious to know..
Personally I'm finding my relationship feeling different (not so much in a good way) since I've changed my lifestyle and become more active and health oriented.. And it would be nice to know it's not just me!
feeling the exact same way right now...and not a clue what to do about it...:frown:0 -
My OH is a distance cyclist and distance fell runner, so he is naturally quite active and he also by nature likes to eat healthy.
This makes life so much easier!! He is a lot faster than me but he is always happy to go at my pace for joint runs or bike rides. My background is in triathlon but I also like lifting and yoga. He's not at all into weights. We have a great balance of enjoying a few things together (mainly mountain biking) and a few things that we do seperately.
We met when I was very fit and about between 125-130lb. Then I got injured and ballooned to almost 170lb. I had a real problem with that because it was the first time in my entire life that I was heavier than my man and that was just wrong. LOL I certainly felt more self-conscious and less confident with us intimately, despite all his reassurances. If he fancied me less he certainly never let me feel it. I'm halfway there to meeting my weight loss goal and he's been very supportive.
I've seen all the threads about OHs (male and female) boycotting people's efforts or being negative or jealous and I'm glad we never had any of that.0 -
I for sure am finding it easier to stay on track now that my marriage is dissolving. I know my weight was not her fault, I can't blame anyone but me. I see she is trying to do something about her weight as well, so I guess that is a bright side to all this mess!0
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Personally I'm finding my relationship feeling different (not so much in a good way) since I've changed my lifestyle and become more active and health oriented.. And it would be nice to know it's not just me!
When I finally decided to buckle down and be consistent, my boyfriend at the time had a negative reaction. He told me that my calorie counting was "annoying." I later found out that it was because he thought, (direct quote), "You're gonna get all hot and leave me." Not sure if this is similar to what you're experiencing, if so, I know how fu(king annoying that can be Good luck! 0 -
The fact that i'm tired of being in relationships where I am treated like crap , used and abused has made me want to change. I feel that if I lose weight and feel better about myself then I wont feel like I have to settle.... It's really depressing.
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This is pretty much how my conversations go when it comes to lifestyle changes....
Me: I am going vegetarian. You are welcome to keep eating meat.
Him: Child please! We're in this together. You already got me to do Insanity, join a gym and stop eating fast food. This is easy.
Me: YAAAAYYY!!!! *cartwheel*0 -
I think my man is a little torn, possibly so because we're in a long distance relationship (and have been for the last 7 years, nothing new here really). He definitely have given me the 'you're gonna get so hot and leave me' and 'why are you loosing weight?' *implied: are you trying to impress someone new?*, but on the flip side when we do meet up he's all over me. Guess it balances out, but I do wish he'd be more supportive on the lifting weights part which is what actually shapes my body these days instead of saying stuff like 'just don't get the muscle up your back thing, it's kind of scary' he should just own up to 'man, your *kitten* is getting hawt'. I always supported him, no matter his size.0
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The reason I started talking my boyfriend(we met online) was because he was doing the Spartan Sprint on the same day as I. He's extremely active so he pushes me to be the best that I can be; we do races together, lift together and go rock climbing together. He has a crazy fast metabolism so our eating habits are very different but he takes my calorie intake into account when making food or planning a restaraunt to eat. He's kinda amazing somedays haha0
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my boyfriend goes back and forth. he is a man who really believes that if your outward appearance is saggy, "fat", not toned, etc. that reflects how you feel about yourself very negatively, so sometimes we fight about my weight loss, because I have to reitterate to him that it is my journey, and I will take it as far (or as near) as I choose, because it is my body, and my decision. He fell in love with me as I have been for these past two years, so mostly he just motivates me and pushes me to try harder, but occassionally it hurts me and feels like he's trying to change me. Gotta take those things in stride!0
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My husband and I have always had differemt goals, dietary needs/preferences and exercise preferences. We work together to support each other. This usually means we eat different foods and our core workouts are different but we share a love of hiking. It has made us stronger and is in my opinion truly supportive. Neither of us push our way on the other, but support and encourage each other. We are both exceding our health and fitness goals.0
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My relationship helped get me back into shape. My husband started getting into cycling and that helped nudge me into going back to a gym near where we live. Had I known this gym was so close to home I might have started sooner. Once we started working out we both became more aware of our food and health...
It's helped both of us. We are both less stressed out and grumpy.0 -
I have a very supportive husband! A year ago we were both overweight and not very concerned about it. Then he started mfp and started getting results in weight loss. He never urged me to join him, knowing it had to be something I wanted to do for myself. One day I just decided I was ready for a life change. I still cook much the same as before, because we have (2 teenage and 1 adult) sons at home who are string beans with hollow legs, but my hubby and I are mindful of our portions. I think I could do it alone, but that's more about the kind of person that I am. I actually prefer to exercise (I walk outdoors) alone, but when he asks to join me it's all good. He takes weekends 'off' from mfp and goes a little nuts with eating sometimes and it doesn't bother me. He works a very physical job now, so he is losing weight without added exercise. We need to find our own ways to be successful at this healthy lifestyle, having a supportive spouse or significant other is a bonus, but shouldn't be dependant on that. I guess my point is that you can be supportive without completely meshing on every little thing. Maybe life experience teaches us that - we've been married for 23 years and weathered some tough ones, too.0
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