Relationships v weightloss / health

mal0223

With all of my ex's, I would lose weight at the very beginning and tend to gain throughout the relationship. Which caused problems and would cause us to break up.
The current boyfriend is very supportive. 3 years deep, I managed to put on 20 pounds.....:/ He did not even notice, and when I brought it up and decided I wanted to lose it, he said he would be right along my side. He tells me I'm perfect the way I am, but I should be happy with myself, so he will do whatever he can to help me out
He is a pretty healthy LOOKING guy, but diet wise....horrible. That's the only place we have issues. He does not like the dieting, and in general we like completely different foods. I also like to do cardio, he likes the lifting. So we vary there too. But support wise, this journey has only helped us so far :happy:

Koldnomore

Pretty common. They've actually done studies on it.

Women will tend to try to match the men in their lives in how much they eat, but it's more than we need (less muscle mass, smaller). You also tend, especially in the honeymoon stages, to eat out a lot and choose cuddling time over exercise.

it's one of those things when you get ni to a new relationhsip yo uhave to be aware of and NOT do, but until you are aware it's even a thing, you don't think about it. I gained when I moved in with my SO. If we ever split up and I start another new relationship, thankfully I'm now aware of that happening and will do my best to keep it in check! Though at this point, I probably won't ever be in that situation again.

This was me. I had gotten up to my all-time high of 235, joined a gym and started watching what I was eating. I got down to around 200 was working out regularly and doing well then *BAM* I met him and suddenly the priorities in my life shifted around. He's naturally slender and has horrible eating habits so within 2 years of being together I was back up to almost 230. He never once complained, always told me how much he loves me and how hot I am to him.

We originally started walking because when we started dating we didn't have a lot of cash so that became a regular thing for us. When I finally had enough it was because I started having chest pains and aches and all kinds of other health related issues and I didn't want to keep on doing what I was doing. I stopped trying to eat like him and started watching my portions. There is junk food in my house and he regularly gets McD's so I had to learn how to deal with the temptations - to his credit he does not normally binge anymore around me (I didn't ask him not to, he just stopped) He's started taking Taekwondo and he's finally starting to realize that he's not 20 anymore. He mentioned trying to eat better but he's not willing to put in the work - yet. Maybe he will and maybe he won't but either way I will still love him.

At first he was a little jealous of the time that I was spending weighing and tracking and all the stuff that comes with trying to lose weight but since he has been seeing that it's not "just a fad that I will eventually give up on" he's gotten a lot more supportive and he will even weigh food for me when he makes dinner! He loved me at my biggest but I think he's really loving the new sleeker look :smokin:

SoDamnHungry

With my ex: He would cook everything in bacon grease, tell me to eat whatever I wanted and work out to burn it off. That's fine in theory, but that would make me be in the gym for a couple of hours each day, and I don't WANT to work out all that much and would prefer watching calories. It was stressful since he didn't care about food and could eat two bites all day, so he was way thin. And when I was trying to watch calories, he'd end up going out and getting fried chicken. And he had a box of zingers on the bedside table that I would have to sleep next and be tempted by because he refused to move them. Which doesn't even make sense since he told me I'd gained weight and it would be good if I lost some. ...hmmm, kind of douchey. Not to mention his internet was broken (and he wouldn't fix it) so I couldn't log my food on weekends I was there. As soon as we broke up I got SERIOUS about getting in shape and it was so much easier without him.

^Ok, upon serious reflection, he was a real jerk about anything I did to try and lose weight.

With my current boyfriend: It's rough in some ways because we end up eating out a LOT, and when we eat out I want to eat the good stuff. On the other hand, he's more inspired by me and has started counting calories and trying to get in shape, and we're talking about cooking together to save calories and money!

Holly_Roman_Empire

My husband is very supportive of my goals. He especially loves that I can still eat pizza and ice cream while losing weight. Oh, and he wants to have sex with me more. Other than that, no changes. :-D

xapril77x

Personally I'm finding my relationship feeling different (not so much in a good way) since I've changed my lifestyle and become more active and health oriented.. And it would be nice to know it's not just me!

When I finally decided to buckle down and be consistent, my boyfriend at the time had a negative reaction. He told me that my calorie counting was "annoying." I later found out that it was because he thought, (direct quote), "You're gonna get all hot and leave me." Not sure if this is similar to what you're experiencing, if so, I know how fu(king annoying that can be Good luck!

U just explained my husband, exactly!!! He thinks "all my fitness stuff" is annoying & tells me 2 stop obsessing & just eat what I want... I really do think it annoys him but also he told me that he didn't want me going 2 the gym because I'd probably end up hooking up with some "fit guy" & run off! I think 1 of us is being annoying here but it's not me! ;-)

kaydeedoubleu1

whenever i see my boyfriend, we usually go out for dinner or order in, I got around this by only eating a small portion. Then i started cooking healthy vegan meals and bringing them over for us to eat instead if ordering in, and he loves my food and is quite happy to eat healthy with me if it's there. so we will see.

bridgew24

Mmmm I think some men don't get the difference in metabolism? Because it does exist and is very different between the genders! Might be okay for them to eat a whole pizza with the lot every few days, but that shows pretty quick on a woman.

CollieFit

Looking how a lot of couples eat in my circle of friends, something is cooked and then divided evenly, like half a pizza each or whatever, and she'll say "ooooh we eat exactly the same and he doesn't put on any weight while I pile it straight on it must be that I have a slow metabolism!!"

Erm... no, it's just that he's a man and a foot taller than you. :huh:

paulygi

U just explained my husband, exactly!!! He thinks "all my fitness stuff" is annoying & tells me 2 stop obsessing & just eat what I want... I really do think it annoys him but also he told me that he didn't want me going 2 the gym because I'd probably end up hooking up with some "fit guy" & run off! I think 1 of us is being annoying here but it's not me! ;-)

I hear ya. Same thing here. Tell them it hurts you when they say stuff like that. My wife laid said to me, my man doesn't eat salad everyday, you're not the man marrierd (told ahe was right I was 30 lbs lighter then), and I didn't sign up for this (I reminded her our vows was in sickness and in health and that she wasn't holding up to her end). The next day I got baked salmon for dinner.

Not to say her cooking has been a problem. She has always been supportive that way for some reason.

I think it will blow over but I'm not sure when.

hannahpistolas

I'm having mega relationship issues, so now I'm gonna vent.

When I met my (soon to be ex-)fiance, I was an anorexic, 5'5" and 115 pounds. He thought I had the best bod, ever.

Then he found out about said eating disorder, and tried to break up with me. We reconciled, and I went through a period of time where I was trying not to show that my eating habits had not really changed.

Then I entered recovery when he found out AGAIN, to save the relationship. I went up to about 125 pounds, and got pregnant almost immediately. I hadn't even started having that time of the month again, so I had no idea. I weighed in at 224 the day I went into labor. After a few months, I went to 190, and stayed there. He was constantly complaining about my weight, and that I wasn't active enough. So, I joined MFP, started going to the gym, started watching what I ate.

I now have a 10-month-old son, and am 150-- which means I've got about 30 pounds to go until my ultimate goal weight. I feel good! He, unfortunately, does not see the weight loss. I could literally stand beside someone who is the same (or, close enough) weight, and he would see me as being 2x bigger than she is. And, this has been proven-- a friend who is about my size gave me some of her excess clothing because all of mine were falling off, and they fit me perfectly. He asked, "What, did she just give you all her fat clothes?".

He is, ironically, also leaving me, after three years and a son.

In the end, I think he's just an a**, and always will be regardless of how much I weigh.

teaparty75

my guy is "trying" to become more aware of his food choices but he hasn't jumped on the train like i think he should ...but he has been very supportive of me - hell he should be because i'm blaming my weight gain on him LOL - all that eating out , drinking ,and cuddling !! he supports me by NOT getting in the way of my gym time and trying to cook healthier meals and it makes the journey so much easier !

zyxst

My relationships haven't affected my weight loss and my weight loss hasn't affected my relationships.

RivenV

My husband is supportive of my fitness goals, but he has expressed some concern lately. He's read/heard/seen all over the place that most married women who get into shape after marriage inevitably end up leaving their husbands for someone else--presumably a fitness beast like themselves. It's never occurred to me to do something like that, but I know something similar did just happen with a gal friend of mine on Facebook. We're not close but I'd like to assume that there was more at play there than 1) woman gets fit, 2) woman finds a fitter partner, 3) woman leaves husband for fitter partner.

I understand that the original post was about a boyfriend, so that may have an effect on the landscape. For myself, it would be nice to have a partner interested in lifting and what not, but it's nice to have "my time" at the gym, too.

Justsimply67

I met my awesome boyfriend on MFP, so right from the start we had similar goals/values when it comes to fitness/health. We motivate and push each other and have just as much fun stuffing our faces with sushi as we do going for a bike ride (okay, sushi may be slightly higher on the fun list than biking, but it's close enough )

Oh wow that's the first I've heard of people meeting through MFP! That's amazing.

She beats me....

Don't listen to him...he's just being silly

Now who let you out of the basement!?

Sorry no useful input/advice but this just cracks me up....love a good sense of humor

KristinNicole82

I met my boyfriend at the gym and I will NEVER date a man that does not share my passion for fitness. I love that we train together and he always supports me with my diet. He wants me to accomplish my fitness goals and never speaks negatively about it. If anything I sabotage his diet with my cooking, as an Italian woman I have the compulsion to cook. I was blessed with the will power not to over eat but he is not as lucky :happy: I guess we all have our flaws.

msfine2328

I was a lot thinner before I met my now EX fiancé. And when I wanted to get in shape it was very hard. It was more of a roller coaster than anything else. Now that we are not together anymore I am looking forward to a new, healthier and fit me and will strive very hard to keep it that way when/if I meet anyone.