Strangers make fun of me when I'm out
Replies
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You can change the way you look.
They're never going to change their inability to get laid by a sober woman who's worth a *kitten*. Or their inherent swooshbaggery.
I, for one, think you're lovely. :flowerforyou:
Thank you, you're quite lovely yourself
It's funny you mention sobriety since I'm pretty sure those dudes from a few weeks ago had had a few drinks
PLUS - you are pretty in your picture! If you are 5'9 and weigh 260 you are definitely not an obese or obese looking person - its not possible!!!! Just forget about those people who make comments!!0 -
This is why parents need to step up and teach our kids love and kindness. I challenge my kids every day to look for a way to be kind and then when I pick them up from school I ask what they did. We constantly tell our kids to be kind.
For every mean person, there is 10 nice ones. Feel sorry for them, for their hearts are ugly, I'd much rather be nice, and kind, then thin, and ugly on the inside, they can't be happy, if they have to bring others down to get attention.
Keep your head up, and be confident that YOU are a better person!
This totally^^^^ !!! I know many, many parents and ALL of them would have a fit if their children ever treated another person cruelly or judged someone based on appearance. There ARE so many more good people than bad on the planet.0 -
Your story makes me so sad and brings back memories. I used to weigh 120 lbs more and was the target of some hate. A few years after college, I was taking the bus from Florida to New York and there was literally only 1 seat available for me to sit in. It was next to a woman who really did not want anyone of any size sitting next to her. It was in the front, right behind the driver. Anyways, I was obese at the time and did my absolute best to sit halfway on the seat and halfway in the aisle as to not take up more than my side of the seat. For hours, this lady taunted me laughing, talking about how fat I was, ridiculing me, etc... Sadly, the bus driver laughed along with her at me. It was absolutely humiliating at the time but doesn't bother me in the least right now:) I do remember how bad it made me feel though.
Another incident when I was probably 18, my mom and I were about halfway through our journey in weight loss and were walking on a dirt road in VT near our house. We knew the neighbor who passed us... He was the bully of the neighborhood and we had done nothing to make him angry. We continued our walk and eventually found a piece of paper in the road held down by a rock. It said "look at the fat %$#* heifers."
Please don't let these people have a negative effect on your journey.0 -
WOW that's awfully rude. But I agree that they must have been pretty bored and just trying to show off their assholeness to each other and whomever else was in earshot. Pathetic. You're beautiful. :flowerforyou:
Oh and this made me :laugh:"Yeah, I am sure you are not used to seeing anything big"0 -
Wow. Uh, I lost a whole human being to get to where you are now and I honestly can't recall crap like that since high school or maybe college (roughly 20 years ago). As an adult I've had well-meaning strangers come up and offer unsolicited advice on some wonderful diet pill I "needed" to take or what diet I "needed" to be on but that's about it.
The only consolation I can offer is this. You are making an effort to better your own physical health by being here. Whoever those idiots are it's safe to say that they are doing nothing to better who they are as human beings. Notice how in order to be brave enough to say something (ignorant) they have to be in pairs? It's proof that they are insecure. Occasionally when I was younger I'd hit the nail on the head with a comment about their own insecurities or how their moms must be proud of them to gang up on a girl or try and make a person feel bad like that, but the key is realizing that the opinions of strangers (particularly ones who have proven that they are unworthy of my attention) mean less than nothing. Be a woman who is aware of her own soul.
And yep, you ARE beautiful!0 -
Aww hunny, that's so not nice. Ignore them. Sometimes these idiots are so insecure that they have to put other people down just to make themselves feel better about their crappy little lives.
Just looked at your pictures and profile. If I wasn't very happily married and on the other side of the world, I'd totally try to hit on you :flowerforyou:0 -
People like that will act like that, regardless of someone else's size. They will find SOMETHING with SOMEONE daily to be rude about. Even though it's easier said than done, you've gotta do it. You will hear rude comments from people like this even if you lost all the weight. People are just never good enough for these kinds of people. I've been called dog ugly......a *kitten* many times (when I'm probably much closer to being a prude....and I'm not even flirty, just talkative).....etc. Hold your head up and keep pushin' forward!0
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There are some people that will make fun of anything on anyone. Whether it be weight, height, race, skin tone, hair color, hair style, manner of dress...know that it's not you. Do not let the stupidity of a few dull your view of the rest.
I'm 5'5" and at my heaviest was 205 (not pregnant...pregnant I was larger than that)...proportionately larger than you. Something like that would hurt yes...but you should only be here for you. So do it. It hurts but use that to fuel you forward to where you want to be.0 -
YIKES - I'm sorry you experienced this.
At my highest weight of 383, I got teased all the time. I've been heavy my whole life, and in high school, a couple of kids referred to me as "the fat blond girl". Multiple times, guys would tell me that I'd be pretty if I lost about 100lbs. Just like that.
When I weighed around 250lbs, I was living in Berlin. I didn't know the language at all, but one of the first words I learned was "schwein" (pig). The punk kids in the street would talk about the pig walking through the street. And that's after I'd lost some weight living in Europe and was feeling good about myself.
Even this morning when I was jogging, I was self conscious about my "roll" that bounces when I jog. I have always tried to run at night (when it's dark) for that reason, but it isn't always possible. I'm trying to get over it.
Keep in mind that a lot of people who will make comments like that are unhappy with themselves or trying to compensate for something. I know that doesn't make it any better, but maybe it will help you to shed some light on the commentary. The awful thing about it all is - at least with me - I had to love myself before I could lose weight. Remember: YOU ARE WORTH IT. You're worth every bit of effort you put in to losing weight. Don't let these unhappy, unfulfilled people get you down! YOU CAN DO IT.0 -
Hi Ali really sorry that happen to you from you picture you look very beautiful. I was made fun of for my weight when i was in school i would come home upset. It sucks that people have to put people down just to make themselves feel better. But when it comes down to it we will lose the weight and look beautiful and they will always be the douche bags.0
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You are a very pretty girl. I can not believe there are sick people out there like that. I have a very bad temper, if I would have heard and or seen that (even tho I don't know you), I would be ALLLL up on their face -- my ghetto side would come out. lol That just pisses me off..
Thank you!!! That's the thing, if I saw someone say these sorts of things to someone else, I'd have definitely said something but both times there were ample people standing around and they all stared me *me* which just made everything worse lol0 -
i'm so sorry that you experienced this - all i can say is that some people don't have the manners that God gave a goat! i have two young sons & they have watched me lose weight, BUT i let them know that the reason for me losing weight was to be healthier, not because i thought being smaller would make me prettier or something of that nature.
We've also had many discussions about how a person shouldn't be judged by their size, skin color, hair color, eye color, language spoken or any disability. i know it sounds very simple, but that's the best way i can think of to address it and honestly feel that we would all be better off (adults included) if we approached situations in this way.
Best wishes to you in your fitness journey :flowerforyou:0 -
I was teased and picked on a lot as a kid... not for my weight, but for my ears which are a little pointy and stick out from the sides of my head some... fairly comical when i was a kid, but kids/people are mean...
Ill say the same to you that ive always told others... Dont let people who dont KNOW you change or poison how you think of yourself.
them being ugly to you shows the ugliness within themselves.. its not about you.
However.. if you look at yourself in the mirror, and dont like what you see... you can change it. Dont get discouraged.0 -
Very well said!0
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Adding this thread to my list of things to share whenever people say "people are so mean on MFP, no one would ever act like that in person! internet bullies!"0
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You look really cute from your photos and absolutely nothing like a guy. I can't see your body, but from your description, you can't possibly be that big. Also, who are these people who think it is okay to say this to anyone ever? I can't believe this stuff actually happens! I know it's hard to not let it get to you, but try not to. Think of it this way, it's probably not even about you, but more about their own insecurities and just wanting to make someone else feel horrible because that lifts them up in their minds. I know this is easier said than done, but try not to let it get to you, because people like that are obviously severely mentally disturbed.0
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I'm sorry that happened to you Ali. I'm 5'9" as well and was nearly 300 pounds at my heaviest. I never heard anyone make rude comments throughout most of my heavy years. There was one time, though, when DH and I went out to breakfast with our daughter. DH was also obese. As we were leaving, an elderly woman said under her breath, though we could still hear her, "That little girl has no chance!" I'm sure she meant that because my husband and I were fat that our daughter would be too. That hurt.
We are both thin now, but I still remember how embarrassing and painful that one comment was. People suck, sometimes.
I am sorry that you heard that, but, having a mother in her 80's, I find that old people lose the filter that would keep what they were thinking from slipping out and also, they typically speak loader than they should because they do not hear as well as they used to. My Mother often says things, especially since I lost my wieght, about other heavy people. Mostly because she feels sorry for them, not because she is trying to be mean.0 -
This is why parents need to step up and teach our kids love and kindness. I challenge my kids every day to look for a way to be kind and then when I pick them up from school I ask what they did. We constantly tell our kids to be kind.
For every mean person, there is 10 nice ones. Feel sorry for them, for their hearts are ugly, I'd much rather be nice, and kind, then thin, and ugly on the inside, they can't be happy, if they have to bring others down to get attention.
Keep your head up, and be confident that YOU are a better person!
Exactly. I teach my kids what I was taught growing up "if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all."0 -
Next time video them being rude. Put it on Facebook; someone will know them. Eventually they'll get the ridicule they deserve or at least you'll have proof so that you can take them to court.
And carry pepper spray so that if they get in your face you can spray them. Ha!
Best wishes and hugs to you; you are not what they say they are.0 -
There was another thread like this by someone else today. It's amazing how many *kitten* there are in the world. Remember, the people who say things like that aren't saying it because you're fat. They're saying it because they want to put someone down, and if you weren't there, they'd be making fun of someone else for something else. They pick something not ideal about a person and use it to torment them.0
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I think of it like this. These men are kind of like men who despise homosexuals. They are very cruel to them and even have resorted to killing gay men. Well, it's these cruel homophobic men who are themselves homosexuals and harm to repress their own sexual desires.
Men like this are fatphobic, cruel, but find themselves very sexually attracted to larger women. They go out of their way to suppress their desires, and to fit in with the boys. It's an abusive cycle, and when they see a very attractive large woman (with ample breasts and a large behind) they cant suppress their desire, and due to that feeling of control loss they turn it into rage. What perfect way to ensure your fantasy remains around then knock an innocent woman down forcing her to drown her emotions in food, and get bigger.
The next time it happens. Smile to yourself and think "oh hell no youre never getting down my pants."
People who dont care. Dont comment.0 -
Baby, you are young and beautiful and should invest in a "beotch face."
You can also just turn around and kick them in the balls really hard.
Or start walking with your dog and train him to bite their **** off.0 -
I am sorry to hear that people have been rude and inappropriate to you. The problem is really with them. I once read that the last
"unfortunately" acceptable prejudice is towards heavy people. I have experienced prejudice and rude remarks myself about my weight.
We hear the media often making fun of celebrities who have put on a few pounds. And our media idealizes and markets "super-thin" as the ideal. This attitude destroys a lot of young girls perceptions of themselves concerning body image and self-worth. The real world problem of childhood obesity, heart disease, and diabetes never really gets addressed. We need to focus on all of our lives being healthy. Well I'll get off my soapbox. Please don't let the rude, inconsiderate, childish people ruin your day or your life. They are not worth it and are not your friends. Please keep the good work up and remember you are doing it to stay healthy and focused with your goals in life.0 -
You look and seem like a lovely person. Always remember this, at least YOU don't have an ugly soul. Those people do.0
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I haven't experienced many openly abusive people as a fat adult. The last clear situation I remember happened a few years ago. I was with my older sister at the store and we walked by a woman in the toy aisle. She muttered some rude comment under her breath (I don't even remember what it was) and I told my sister about it in one of those "Haha what's up her butt" ways since what she said hadn't really bothered me. My sister, on the other hand, got upset and doubled back to let the person know that her comment was unappreciated. We both were taken aback at her reaction--she literally started screaming at my sister and acted like I was making up stories and that she hadn't said anything. She called me a fat liar at least five times, with an emphasis on the word fat. The entire time, she didn't even look at my face. All of her attention was centered on my sister and she ranted and raved about what a fatty fat liar I was as if I wasn't even in the area, all while I was standing right in front of her. It was slightly surreal and I don't think I'll ever forget it because of how volatile it was.
WOW. It amazes me when someone can make comments and then deny them when theyre confronted-- it confirms that they know what they did was rude and wrong. Which makes you have to question, why say rude things in the first place? Do they assume no one will call them out on it?
Sorry you experienced that, i'd have definitely left crying or something. Then again, that woman sounds insane, so lets owe her rude comments to her not being ''with it'' to begin with =P0 -
I'm sorry this happened to you. People can really suck sometimes. I have not been called names but my friends have. One of my friends got Moo'd at when we went out one night. Thankfully she wasn't alone. She had us to go ape s**t on this guy. Either way it was horrible for her and I could tell it really hurt her feelings. Seems like other people here have started to arm you with some good come back lines, so keep those in mind when you are out and about. Don't let the idiots stop you from being who you want to be. You are gorgeous from what I can tell, so it's their loss.
MOOING?! WHO DOES THAT??? HOW JUVENILE!! Poor thing, she must have felt awful. I'm glad she had supportive friends with her, having friends can go far in countering the actions of others. That guy though, wow, what a douche bag.0 -
That is absolutely horrible.
I am SO sorry that even happened to you!!! Don't mind them... seriously.. some people are just insensitive and rude.
I've never had that happen to me... but I tell ya... maybe its a good thing. I can't understand why people have to be that way.
Forget them sweetheart... no man, or woman is worth your tears or stress. :flowerforyou:0 -
Ah - I noticed you live in SD. I used to live there and let me tell you... I don't think I've ever come across so many friggin douche bags in my life. Seeing as how I grew u in LA, that's saying something!
I'm so sorry you had to go through that... you don't deserve it, and I hope that a few jerks don't keep you from going outside; especially in such a beautiful city.0 -
I am SO sorry people are doing this to you. Unfortunately you hear all that crap, when that might be 1% of the population. And you don't hear the other people's thoughts who are nice. People who can identify with you, or people who have some awareness of what heavy people go through, or even people who just don't think anything of your size at all one way or another. So unfortunately the douche bags get the press and you hear all of that stuff and none of the others, and the other is really the majority.
Sending you warm thoughts. I hope some people here will have some good things to say that will help you through the hurt.0 -
That's just SO freakin' crazy and weird and I am so sorry it has been happening to you :-( I haven't had anything that blatant. I'm female, 5'8" and started MFP at 262 lb so I am still pretty close to your size. Although in the past I have been up to 307 lb for a time.
Anyway, I think for me mostly people have made fun of my size quietly behind my back. I do remember a few rude comments in elementary school, when I was BY FAR the biggest kid in 4th grade at 5'6" and 130 lb. Mostly they would be like, "Omg how tall are you?" followed with "And how much do you actually *weigh* (giggle)?" ONCE, about 5 yrs ago when I was at my heaviest, a young (20-ish) couple, male and female, were tittering about me at Starbucks and it's unclear exactly what they were saying about me. I assumed it was about my size, but it also may have been just me in general because I'm very enthusiastic and animated a lot of the time. Either way I felt humiliated especially because my best friend, who is a wonderful person and means well, wanted us both to leave immediately when she realized they were making fun of me. That stuff stings.
This probably won't help matters at all because it is still harassment but I've heard some men who are either very intimidated by larger size women and/or just really attracted to Amazon-types, make comments somewhat similar to what those guys said about you. A male friend of mine absolutely loves bigger women who are both tall and large/curvy, in fact he thinks I'm "too short" at 5'8" and he finds it hard not to stare when he sees a woman he would consider ideal, which is about 6' tall and 200+ lb. I'm NOT saying you should feel flattered. Those guys are completely out of line. But don't assume it's 100% negative stuff because you look super pretty in your photo.
I doubt that helped at all, but FWIW...
No, you totally helped. a lot. thanks for taking the time to reply, i really appreciate it. Maybe if i just go out and *pretend* i'm this ultrahot demi-amizonian it'll make me feel less bad when people comment hahaha. I'm willing to try anything at this point!
I'm sorry for what happened to you when you were out. some people, ugh. I used to be really animated and... loud lol. Not nymore though, =/ now i just try to draw as little attention to myself as possible. But thanks for sharing your experience, it does make me feel less alone0
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