Pop-tarts as her birthday gift. 11 year old's request.

EvgeniZyntx
EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
I have mixed feelings - my daughter, 11, was asked by her grandfather what she wanted for her birthday (that's always a horrid question, btw) and answered:

- fencing gloves
- climbing shoes and/or a belt
- pop-tarts


Pop-tarts?!?

Have I been raising my kids wrong? I know Pop-tarts are very difficult to get here in France so when we travel to the US we load up. Then they forget about them and the boxes sit in the pantry until I find them and eat them all. Slowly. Over time. They don't really desire them. But I'm now concerned that I'm depriving my kids. She didn't ask for the latest Asterix and Obelix book or an IPod or a phone (well, she asks for one every other hour). Too little pop-tart in their lives? I'm trying to raise them in an inclusive sense of various cultures so I brought back weisbursts and knodels last week. We buy Kefir too.

Pop-tarts. Poor kid. I can see the scenario ... Years from now, "life was so hard with my father, we had to ask for pop-tarts as birthday gifts"

My own father knows how to deal with these kinds of questions. He wrote back, "What flavor, what shoes and glove sizes?"

I'm going to have to bring extra gummi bears next time I come from Germany.
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Replies

  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    Bahaha! I like her birthday list much better than my 6 year old's. Her list includes a smart phone, an iPad, and a laptop! :noway:
  • BeckyMBisMe
    BeckyMBisMe Posts: 215 Member
    I think you are doing it just right! She sees the Pop tart as a treat. What better time to expect a treat than your birthday? And who better to indulge a little girl than her grandfather. I think it's sweet.
  • FHelenD
    FHelenD Posts: 16 Member
    Nope, this seems about right. Definitely a good thing that she sees them as a treat. She probably said it because she can't access them easily so a birthday is a good excuse to get them!
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
    Wish we had pop-tarts in my country :( hate you "overseas people" .
  • gwenr
    gwenr Posts: 139 Member
    This is right on. My 6 (almost 7) year old just told me he hates Christmas because there's no candy involved (while stuffing his face with his Halloween candy). LOL!!
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    This is right on. My 6 (almost 7) year old just told me he hates Christmas because there's no candy involved (while stuffing his face with his Halloween candy). LOL!!

    We don't have Halloween here either. Really deprived childhood.
  • aguill
    aguill Posts: 7 Member
    If this was Facebook I would "like" your post! Tres bien ecrit
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    I know Pop-tarts are very difficult to get here in France so when we travel to the US we load up. Then they forget about them and the boxes sit in the pantry until I find them and eat them all. Slowly. Over time. They don't really desire them.

    It's a trap!

    My daughter does much the same thing. She asks for something which we can't get in the UK when we are abroad. When we get back she has a bit of it and then loses all interest. And it waits in the pantry. And it lurks. And it beckons.

    Until I can bear it no more and I furtively consume it. It's like my daughter has a radar when that happens because without fail she says the next day "Daddy, where is it?"

    I confess. Cue a wobbly bottom lip from her and an expensive shopping trip to buy that toy she wanted. Outsmarted by a 6 year old. Damn....
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    sounds to me like you're doing everything right!

    My son (he is now 27) when he was younger, about 5, we went to a restaurant/coffee shop. he ordered baked potato platter for lunch (he used to loooove potatoes! still does but he's branched out a bit) and after he finished it he told the waitress he wanted dessert. so she brought him over to the display with all the yummy gooey cakes and asked him what he wanted , and he said "another baked potato" (yes, i did get it and yes he did eat it!)

    BTW if you ever feel like making yoru own pop tarts (I;'ve never tried making them but can vouch for many of her other recipes): http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2010/04/homemade-pop-tarts/
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    I know Pop-tarts are very difficult to get here in France so when we travel to the US we load up. Then they forget about them and the boxes sit in the pantry until I find them and eat them all. Slowly. Over time. They don't really desire them.

    It's a trap!

    My daughter does much the same thing. She asks for something which we can't get in the UK when we are abroad. When we get back she has a bit of it and then loses all interest. And it waits in the pantry. And it lurks. And it beckons.

    Until I can bear it no more and I furtively consume it. It's like my daughter has a radar when that happens because without fail she says the next day "Daddy, where is it?"

    I confess. Cue a wobbly bottom lip from her and an expensive shopping trip to buy that toy she wanted. Outsmarted by a 6 year old. Damn....

    I know.

    They hide things from me.

    Or I have to buy extra dark chocolate with chili. They don't like that.

    Wait till your 6 year old is 19. I got asked, "where is my whiskey." I couldn't lie straight.
  • mrsamanda86
    mrsamanda86 Posts: 869 Member
    Bahaha! I like her birthday list much better than my 6 year old's. Her list includes a smart phone, an iPad, and a laptop! :noway:

    My son would get laughed at SO HARD in his face for asking for those things lol

    My kid is the same, wants pop tarts, so I buy them, and then they sit in the pantry for a WHILE until I make him eat them just so we can be rid of them lol
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    Poptart-Ice-Cream-Sandwich-600x532.jpg

    Best Thing Ever.
  • shartran
    shartran Posts: 304 Member
    Your family could make the Pop-Tart longing into a yearly tradition! Make a 'Pop-tart Cake' of some kind...you'll need an imagination. She should love that!
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member

    Wait till your 6 year old is 19. I got asked, "where is my whiskey." I couldn't lie straight.

    Looool.

    "Dad, why are you lying drunk behind the sofa with one leg in the air?"
    "No reason"
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Kids are weird, when I was three I asked for 'three tins of gloss paint and a Keith (my uncles best friend, who at the time was 19) for Christmas.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    will you adopt me?
  • samammay
    samammay Posts: 468
    Birthdays are special for little kids. Its about what makes them happy. She remembers fond times where she has had pop-tarts. Very likely that has something to do with a trip taken with you.

    Get her a box of pop tarts. It'll make her day special.

    Might sound weird to you, but seriously... did you really expect to understand a girl's mind? :-D
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
    I think your daughter understands. If you demonize any food, it will only help her have a bad relationship with food. There is nothing wrong with any food in moderation. Besides, Pop-Tarts are sent straight from heaven! If it were me, I would not worry about this at all.
  • jayrudq
    jayrudq Posts: 475 Member
    My only concern would be how incredibly lousy they are...especially when you live in France and could go to a Patisserie! I know, I know, what you can't have, you always want the most. My son doesn't ask for food for gifts, but his loving Grandma, ever concerned about his serious sweets deprivation, buys him a box of sugar cereal for his birthday. I usually end up throwing it away. The Kraft Macaroni and Cheese she sends him home with? We all enjoy that.

    It is a balance. Who knows if we are doing the right thing. God knows my kids loves all the junk I don't buy and have at home.
  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
    I think those are all awesome answers.
    I despise pop tarts but they are every where here.
    They cant be that expensive to ship there. Id ship her some!
  • SuperstarDJ
    SuperstarDJ Posts: 442 Member
    Nope, this seems about right. Definitely a good thing that she sees them as a treat. She probably said it because she can't access them easily so a birthday is a good excuse to get them!

    Food should never be called a 'treat'. If it becomes a reward or a treat, you're setting them up to use food in the wrong way later on, e.g. as a comfort or a 'reward' after a hard day, argument or any stressful/emotive situation.
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
    I think you are doing it just right! She sees the Pop tart as a treat. What better time to expect a treat than your birthday? And who better to indulge a little girl than her grandfather. I think it's sweet.

    Yes! This!
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    I think it's cool she wants fencing gloves and climbing shoes. If she stays that active she can eat Pop Tarts and not bat an eye. Good job Dad.
  • Smeltzer2
    Smeltzer2 Posts: 210 Member
    Climbing shoes and belt other exercise equipment. Great let her have poptarrs as a treat. Most kids would not be getting the exercise equipment but something to set around and look listen irvolay. Exercise will burn off that sugar.
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
    Nope, this seems about right. Definitely a good thing that she sees them as a treat. She probably said it because she can't access them easily so a birthday is a good excuse to get them!

    Food should never be called a 'treat'. If it becomes a reward or a treat, you're setting them up to use food in the wrong way later on, e.g. as a comfort or a 'reward' after a hard day, argument or any stressful/emotive situation.

    A treat is not the same as a reward. A treat is a special thing we might have some times on a special occasion. A reward is like payment for doing something right.

    I agree food as rewards should be avoided but...saying you should never call a food a treat? If no foods are "special"...then are all foods ok all the time? Or do you subscribe to the "I only ever eat healthy foods and never indulge in anything yummy if it's not good for me" philosophy? Is cake allowed on birthdays? Or all the time? Or never? If its only allowed on birthdays...is that not a treat?
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    Bahaha! I like her birthday list much better than my 6 year old's. Her list includes a smart phone, an iPad, and a laptop! :noway:

    My son would get laughed at SO HARD in his face for asking for those things lol

    My kid is the same, wants pop tarts, so I buy them, and then they sit in the pantry for a WHILE until I make him eat them just so we can be rid of them lol

    My 6 year old always asks for strange things though. When asked what she wanted each for individually she said to play games on. She really just likes games.

    Last year her Christmas list included a power tool set and a tree, among other things.
  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
    It's very good that she sees the pop-tarts as a treat and not as a standard breakfast/snack item. That is when I would really worry!
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    My only concern would be how incredibly lousy they are...especially when you live in France and could go to a Patisserie! I know, I know, what you can't have, you always want the most. My son doesn't ask for food for gifts, but his loving Grandma, ever concerned about his serious sweets deprivation, buys him a box of sugar cereal for his birthday. I usually end up throwing it away. The Kraft Macaroni and Cheese she sends him home with? We all enjoy that.

    It is a balance. Who knows if we are doing the right thing. God knows my kids loves all the junk I don't buy and have at home.

    We go to a boulangerie/patisserie every day after school - They get to buy one thing.
    Despite the rows of chocolates, eclairs, tartes, etc... These girls order:

    1) a mini quiche - This one hates sweets
    2) a cookie - nothing special

    Kids are strange. I'd buy the Tarte au Citron or Religieuse every time. Still have one every once in a while ... So their 4 o'clock is what they like.
  • be_patient
    be_patient Posts: 186 Member
    Don't even worry about her, this is a great list for a girl her age in this society.
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
    I have mixed feelings - my daughter, 11, was asked by her grandfather what she wanted for her birthday (that's always a horrid question, btw) and answered:

    - fencing gloves
    - climbing shoes and/or a belt
    - pop-tarts


    Pop-tarts?!?

    Have I been raising my kids wrong? I know Pop-tarts are very difficult to get here in France so when we travel to the US we load up. Then they forget about them and the boxes sit in the pantry until I find them and eat them all. Slowly. Over time. They don't really desire them. But I'm now concerned that I'm depriving my kids. She didn't ask for the latest Asterix and Obelix book or an IPod or a phone (well, she asks for one every other hour). Too little pop-tart in their lives? I'm trying to raise them in an inclusive sense of various cultures so I brought back weisbursts and knodels last week. We buy Kefir too.

    Pop-tarts. Poor kid. I can see the scenario ... Years from now, "life was so hard with my father, we had to ask for pop-tarts as birthday gifts"

    My own father knows how to deal with these kinds of questions. He wrote back, "What flavor, what shoes and glove sizes?"

    I'm going to have to bring extra gummi bears next time I come from Germany.

    Maybe your daughter is awesome and is not being selfish by letting dad eat all the pop tarts? Maybe shes just asking grandpa for some of her own?

    Youre seriously overthinking this