Pop-tarts as her birthday gift. 11 year old's request.

SuperstarDJ

Nope, this seems about right. Definitely a good thing that she sees them as a treat. She probably said it because she can't access them easily so a birthday is a good excuse to get them!

Food should never be called a 'treat'. If it becomes a reward or a treat, you're setting them up to use food in the wrong way later on, e.g. as a comfort or a 'reward' after a hard day, argument or any stressful/emotive situation.

elyelyse

I think you are doing it just right! She sees the Pop tart as a treat. What better time to expect a treat than your birthday? And who better to indulge a little girl than her grandfather. I think it's sweet.

Yes! This!

beachlover317

I think it's cool she wants fencing gloves and climbing shoes. If she stays that active she can eat Pop Tarts and not bat an eye. Good job Dad.

Smeltzer2

Climbing shoes and belt other exercise equipment. Great let her have poptarrs as a treat. Most kids would not be getting the exercise equipment but something to set around and look listen irvolay. Exercise will burn off that sugar.

elyelyse

Nope, this seems about right. Definitely a good thing that she sees them as a treat. She probably said it because she can't access them easily so a birthday is a good excuse to get them!

Food should never be called a 'treat'. If it becomes a reward or a treat, you're setting them up to use food in the wrong way later on, e.g. as a comfort or a 'reward' after a hard day, argument or any stressful/emotive situation.

A treat is not the same as a reward. A treat is a special thing we might have some times on a special occasion. A reward is like payment for doing something right.

I agree food as rewards should be avoided but...saying you should never call a food a treat? If no foods are "special"...then are all foods ok all the time? Or do you subscribe to the "I only ever eat healthy foods and never indulge in anything yummy if it's not good for me" philosophy? Is cake allowed on birthdays? Or all the time? Or never? If its only allowed on birthdays...is that not a treat?

SuperSexyDork

Bahaha! I like her birthday list much better than my 6 year old's. Her list includes a smart phone, an iPad, and a laptop! :noway:

My son would get laughed at SO HARD in his face for asking for those things lol

My kid is the same, wants pop tarts, so I buy them, and then they sit in the pantry for a WHILE until I make him eat them just so we can be rid of them lol

My 6 year old always asks for strange things though. When asked what she wanted each for individually she said to play games on. She really just likes games.

Last year her Christmas list included a power tool set and a tree, among other things.

askeates

It's very good that she sees the pop-tarts as a treat and not as a standard breakfast/snack item. That is when I would really worry!

EvgeniZyntx

My only concern would be how incredibly lousy they are...especially when you live in France and could go to a Patisserie! I know, I know, what you can't have, you always want the most. My son doesn't ask for food for gifts, but his loving Grandma, ever concerned about his serious sweets deprivation, buys him a box of sugar cereal for his birthday. I usually end up throwing it away. The Kraft Macaroni and Cheese she sends him home with? We all enjoy that.

It is a balance. Who knows if we are doing the right thing. God knows my kids loves all the junk I don't buy and have at home.

We go to a boulangerie/patisserie every day after school - They get to buy one thing.
Despite the rows of chocolates, eclairs, tartes, etc... These girls order:

1) a mini quiche - This one hates sweets
2) a cookie - nothing special

Kids are strange. I'd buy the Tarte au Citron or Religieuse every time. Still have one every once in a while ... So their 4 o'clock is what they like.

be_patient

Don't even worry about her, this is a great list for a girl her age in this society.

KeViN_v2pt0

I have mixed feelings - my daughter, 11, was asked by her grandfather what she wanted for her birthday (that's always a horrid question, btw) and answered:

- fencing gloves
- climbing shoes and/or a belt
- pop-tarts


Pop-tarts?!?

Have I been raising my kids wrong? I know Pop-tarts are very difficult to get here in France so when we travel to the US we load up. Then they forget about them and the boxes sit in the pantry until I find them and eat them all. Slowly. Over time. They don't really desire them. But I'm now concerned that I'm depriving my kids. She didn't ask for the latest Asterix and Obelix book or an IPod or a phone (well, she asks for one every other hour). Too little pop-tart in their lives? I'm trying to raise them in an inclusive sense of various cultures so I brought back weisbursts and knodels last week. We buy Kefir too.

Pop-tarts. Poor kid. I can see the scenario ... Years from now, "life was so hard with my father, we had to ask for pop-tarts as birthday gifts"

My own father knows how to deal with these kinds of questions. He wrote back, "What flavor, what shoes and glove sizes?"

I'm going to have to bring extra gummi bears next time I come from Germany.

Maybe your daughter is awesome and is not being selfish by letting dad eat all the pop tarts? Maybe shes just asking grandpa for some of her own?

Youre seriously overthinking this

astronomicals

Bahaha! I like her birthday list much better than my 6 year old's. Her list includes a smart phone, an iPad, and a laptop! :noway:

My son would get laughed at SO HARD in his face for asking for those things lol

My kid is the same, wants pop tarts, so I buy them, and then they sit in the pantry for a WHILE until I make him eat them just so we can be rid of them lol

You'd laugh in your kids face for asking for an ipad? My 3 year old neice has a tablet.. Sheltering kids from technology is pretty much negligence.

worksoutforwine

I'm asking for Pop-Tarts in my Christmas stocking!

SuperSexyDork

Bahaha! I like her birthday list much better than my 6 year old's. Her list includes a smart phone, an iPad, and a laptop! :noway:

My son would get laughed at SO HARD in his face for asking for those things lol

My kid is the same, wants pop tarts, so I buy them, and then they sit in the pantry for a WHILE until I make him eat them just so we can be rid of them lol

You'd laugh in your kids face for asking for an ipad? My 3 year old neice has a tablet.. Sheltering kids from technology is pretty much negligence.

I agree. But she's not getting any of those for her birthday. She's getting a tablet for Christmas but she doesn't know that yet.

Wildflower0106

Nope, this seems about right. Definitely a good thing that she sees them as a treat. She probably said it because she can't access them easily so a birthday is a good excuse to get them!

Food should never be called a 'treat'. If it becomes a reward or a treat, you're setting them up to use food in the wrong way later on, e.g. as a comfort or a 'reward' after a hard day, argument or any stressful/emotive situation.

A treat and a reward are two different things. The words are not interchangeable, they have different meanings.

OP: Sounds like your kid is developing a health relationship with food. You should be proud! Learning moderation ate her age is great. I always thought that if I would have learned it at a young age, I probably would have been able to control my weight better as a young adult.

to this day the one thing I ask my mom for on my birthday is for her to bake me an apricot nectar cake! I have a couple of slices once a year and it tastes better than any cake or cookie I might have throughout the year.

jayrudq

My only concern would be how incredibly lousy they are...especially when you live in France and could go to a Patisserie! I know, I know, what you can't have, you always want the most. My son doesn't ask for food for gifts, but his loving Grandma, ever concerned about his serious sweets deprivation, buys him a box of sugar cereal for his birthday. I usually end up throwing it away. The Kraft Macaroni and Cheese she sends him home with? We all enjoy that.

It is a balance. Who knows if we are doing the right thing. God knows my kids loves all the junk I don't buy and have at home.

We go to a boulangerie/patisserie every day after school - They get to buy one thing.
Despite the rows of chocolates, eclairs, tartes, etc... These girls order:

1) a mini quiche - This one hates sweets
2) a cookie - nothing special

Kids are strange. I'd buy the Tarte au Citron or Religieuse every time. Still have one every once in a while ... So their 4 o'clock is what they like.

Good for them - I admire kids innate ability to know what they need. I don't encourage it enough by making them eat when they aren't hungry or things they don't want (guilty of that all the time). I DEFINITELY would not have your willpower everday though! Walking by is one thing...window shopping is a favorite pastime, but actually going in? And the smells? Ahhh, Millefeuille, Tart au Caramel, or just a Croissant. I get fat just thinking about it.

Thanks for the vicarious pleasure.

amy1612

Bahaha! I like her birthday list much better than my 6 year old's. Her list includes a smart phone, an iPad, and a laptop! :noway:

My son would get laughed at SO HARD in his face for asking for those things lol

My kid is the same, wants pop tarts, so I buy them, and then they sit in the pantry for a WHILE until I make him eat them just so we can be rid of them lol

You'd laugh in your kids face for asking for an ipad? My 3 year old neice has a tablet.. Sheltering kids from technology is pretty much negligence.

Yeah, refusing to buy a child an ipad isnt negligence OR sheltering them from technology. Are you sh!tting me.

SuperstarDJ

Nope, this seems about right. Definitely a good thing that she sees them as a treat. She probably said it because she can't access them easily so a birthday is a good excuse to get them!

Food should never be called a 'treat'. If it becomes a reward or a treat, you're setting them up to use food in the wrong way later on, e.g. as a comfort or a 'reward' after a hard day, argument or any stressful/emotive situation.

A treat is not the same as a reward. A treat is a special thing we might have some times on a special occasion. A reward is like payment for doing something right.

I agree food as rewards should be avoided but...saying you should never call a food a treat? If no foods are "special"...then are all foods ok all the time? Or do you subscribe to the "I only ever eat healthy foods and never indulge in anything yummy if it's not good for me" philosophy? Is cake allowed on birthdays? Or all the time? Or never? If its only allowed on birthdays...is that not a treat?

No, it's not a 'treat', it's just birthday cake. My issue is attaching words to foods that invoke emotions which, in my opinion, gives food more importance - or more power - than it should have. Food, at the end of the day, is there to nourish us and keep us alive. Yes, some foods taste better than others and some definitely shouldn't be eaten everyday because they're bad for us.... and we call these 'treats'?

How is giving you or your child something that is bad for their health a 'treat'? I don't 'treat' my son by giving him things that will rot his teeth or damage his health. I bring him to the playground, cinema, do arts & crafts with him.... You get the picture! Don't get me wrong, he eats 'junk' and I've never banned any food because that causes more problems again, but it's 'only' chocolate/candy/pizza or whatever. It's just food. As a result, he views it that way and can take or leave it.

Edited to say sorry if I'm coming across as being a bit pedantic, it's just an issue that's very close to my heart.

Wetterdew

Funny story: when I was about 11 years old, one of my best friends gave me pop tarts as a joke birthday present. I unwrapped it and saw a box of them, which I had never even tried before. Taped to the underside was some money, it was a good laugh.

EvgeniZyntx

I have mixed feelings - my daughter, 11, was asked by her grandfather what she wanted for her birthday (that's always a horrid question, btw) and answered:

- fencing gloves
- climbing shoes and/or a belt
- pop-tarts


Pop-tarts?!?

Have I been raising my kids wrong? I know Pop-tarts are very difficult to get here in France so when we travel to the US we load up. Then they forget about them and the boxes sit in the pantry until I find them and eat them all. Slowly. Over time. They don't really desire them. But I'm now concerned that I'm depriving my kids. She didn't ask for the latest Asterix and Obelix book or an IPod or a phone (well, she asks for one every other hour). Too little pop-tart in their lives? I'm trying to raise them in an inclusive sense of various cultures so I brought back weisbursts and knodels last week. We buy Kefir too.

Pop-tarts. Poor kid. I can see the scenario ... Years from now, "life was so hard with my father, we had to ask for pop-tarts as birthday gifts"

My own father knows how to deal with these kinds of questions. He wrote back, "What flavor, what shoes and glove sizes?"

I'm going to have to bring extra gummi bears next time I come from Germany.

Maybe your daughter is awesome and is not being selfish by letting dad eat all the pop tarts? Maybe shes just asking grandpa for some of her own?

Youre seriously overthinking this

Maybe I'm seriously overthinking this?

I'm thinking maybe she just likes pop-tarts.

FerretBuellerr

Bahaha! I like her birthday list much better than my 6 year old's. Her list includes a smart phone, an iPad, and a laptop! :noway:

My son would get laughed at SO HARD in his face for asking for those things lol

My kid is the same, wants pop tarts, so I buy them, and then they sit in the pantry for a WHILE until I make him eat them just so we can be rid of them lol

You'd laugh in your kids face for asking for an ipad? My 3 year old neice has a tablet.. Sheltering kids from technology is pretty much negligence.

*sigh*

Get your kid a book. Or an interactive toy that requires more than putting their fingers to a screen. Something that stimulates their mind, motor skills, or both. Maybe it's just me, but giving a young child a technological toy like a tablet or iPad is like setting them infront of a TV all day instead of actually playing with them - silly and somewhat lazy on behalf of the parent.

I don't have kids, and I'm in no way an expert on child development apart from the psycology classes I've taken, but damn...why does a 3 year old need a tablet? I just don't get it. They have LOTS of time to become accustomed to technology, and we've already become a society EXTREMELY dependent on technology, and that is foolish to be that dependent on anything, in my opinion. At least dependent on something you don't necessarily need.

I would rant more, but, I will probably just look worse than I already have.

OP I think you're doing a fantastic job raising your daughter, and I think that's adorable that she asked for Poptarts. I would think it's strange too, but since it's something she doesn't get very often, it makes sense in my mind why she asked for it. Reminds me of the Dutch chocolate letters my mom would always put in my stocking for Christmas - that special chocolate treat I only got once a year, or on a special occation.