Polite response to a situation at the gym...Help

ansonrinesmith

What does she do, if there is someone on the machine when she gets there? Perhaps a little bit of her own medicine?
You and 5 friends go and do 10 minutes each, if she comes up and tries to get on, tell her there is a line for the machine, and she should wait her turn.

Booksandbeaches

kpost323, I really want an update to this thread after you've spoken to this woman or the trainers.

madmiya

So interesting that you include information about the size of her thighs and your thoughts that the machine must not be working for her. Has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the issue of her hogging the machine.

Yes, just find a polite way to ask if you can jump in...no need to try to "fat shame" her. That would be unnecessary and rude on your part.

"Fat shaming" would NOT have been my intent. Just simply if you are doing something for so long and it isn't helping, then it is pointless. Then having little regard for those around you is just thoughtless. My thighs need work, so I would not shame someone, but if I had a disregard for people and was wasting my time with a pointless activity, then personally I would want to be told. This is also coming from that "brutally honest friend" that all girls need that will tell them if those jeans don't work. Don't ask if you don't want to know. Plus just because I could handle it and not take it as an insult, I do understand others could view it differently, hence me not wanting to be "rude". The only reason I secretly want to be rude, is because I feel she is. Also for those that said she may not realize, if she doesn't then she is oblivious to what is around her and lacking common social skills. Plus she is not large, just a little over weight and you can see that her thighs are her problem area, she obviously wants to work on them. She just is going about wrongly and it interferes with others.

Like I posted earlier, unfortunately asking about her sets, does not register with her.

As for the texting that is a little irritating lol

don't give it air. "fat shaming" is all the rage. like for every time i hear "bullying" you have to really examine if someone is really being bullied (which is a HUGE problem when it's legitimate) or just having their opinion disagreed with. when we throw around words like this, it's like crying wolf. no one will take the true cases seriously if they're completely inundated with nonsense accusations. it's serious.

what i got from what you said was that she wasn't a serious trainer and that you are. that she was taking too long, distracting herself with texting and barely making effort on the machine.

1. ask politely but not demurely "how many more sets?"
2. if she's rude, doesn't answer, or keeps on for longer than promised go directly to the gym manager and explain your situation. you pay to work out and 30 min is entirely inappropriate for anyone to take up the thigh adductor machine.
3. steer clear of her entirely. stay focused and don't let her get you ruffled.

hwoeltjen

Simple...go over and say "Excuse me....how many sets do you have left?"

This does two things.

1) Lets her know you are waiting.
2) She probably has no idea how many sets she even does...and will quickly get off the machine because she feels ignant.

Ignant is a word.

teamAmelia

1-Try using the machine earlier?
2-Go to the mgr or an employee and explain that she's just texting. Now, if she's working out - not necessarily your definition of working out - but if she's actually using the machines and texting, nothing you can do.


Also, maybe she can't lift anything heavier either bc she's weak or under doctor's orders not to. That's nobody's business, though.

Manda_1986

Well OP heres what you do...
walk up to her and smack her in the face with a 20lb dumbbell

lol probably not the nicest way to move her....but effective none the less.

teamAmelia

Why the **** is she texting at the gym anyways .. I would be pissed.

Why can't she text at the gym? How do you know that she's texting? And, why would you be pissed? Some people have jobs, family, important stuff. I check my work email at least four times when I'm working out, but I'll sometimes go online for personal stuff. My prerogative. I normally do this on the treadmill or machines where I can still do the workout and use my hands. As long as I'm not just sitting on the equipment while I'm doing this, there's nothing wrong with it.

1ZenGirl

So interesting that you include information about the size of her thighs and your thoughts that the machine must not be working for her. Has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the issue of her hogging the machine.

Exactly. Pretty catty and crappy comment. Why worry about sounding like a B*** to her face you are already one behind her back.

hwoeltjen

Yeah because the other lady isn't a ***** hogging the machine in a gym with other people waiting to use it. Give me a break.

Do the exercise and get off the damn machine. You want a personal gym..get one. Otherwise have some consideration for other people.

teamAmelia

Go straight for the jugular. Point out that the reason shes not making any progress is because shes not creating a big enough calorie deficit by twiddling her Vienna Sausage fingers on her smartphone and she may want to think about moving somewhere else.

My opinion? If she's paying for her membership, she has a right to work out as she pleases -- as long as she's not breaking any gym rules.

It was explained that shes not working out. So if I pay for a movie ticket and decide to talk the entire time I can do so because I paid for a ticket? Um no. I need to STFU like everyone else. Theres proper gym etiquette and I am pretty sure sitting there texting on your phone while others are waiting to use it is not appropriate behavior whether you paid or not.

For this example, I think the OP may have just assumed that she wasn't working out enough according to the OP's own standards. I'm just basing that off of her harsh description of the woman.

Most gyms have rules about not using your cell phone in the gym.

Most gyms? Do you mean in the locker room? If my gym had a policy prohibiting cell phone use (aside from the locker rooms), I certainly wouldn't join.

helpfit101

So interesting that you include information about the size of her thighs and your thoughts that the machine must not be working for her. Has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the issue of her hogging the machine.

Yes, just find a polite way to ask if you can jump in...no need to try to "fat shame" her. That would be unnecessary and rude on your part.

She is doing high reps light weight on the machine and hogging (pun intended) it too. A little bit of fat shaming might do her good.

Anyway OP what are you doing on that machine anyway? Liking a machine is no reason to be using it. I like to sit on my *kitten* on the couch at home too. At least there is nobody waiting to work in.

Hauntinglyfit

walk away, & go do squats,deadlifts, & lunges:D

Yes.
You don't need that machine.

Cranquistador

walk away, & go do squats,deadlifts, & lunges:D

Yes.
You don't need that machine.

someone has convinced against my insistence that it is a beneficial machine for me to use

Otterluv

walk away, & go do squats,deadlifts, & lunges:D

Yes.
You don't need that machine.

someone has convinced against my insistence that it is a beneficial machine for me to use

I'm convinced that that guy is secretly laughing at us. Oh the cruelty that is reverse lunges.

hddeuce1966

How do you know the machine is not working fot her? Her thighs may have been three time the size they are now when she started.

Picture that when you confront her. You will be able to talk with a smile the whole time.

Cranquistador

How do you know the machine is not working fot her? Her thighs may have been three time the size they are now when she started.

Picture that when you confront her. You will be able to talk with a smile the whole time.

hahaha that machine will not reduce ones thighs three times

Jit7

So what happened with the lady - did you tell her to move on?

teamAmelia

Simple...go over and say "Excuse me....how many sets do you have left?"

This does two things.

1) Lets her know you are waiting.
2) She probably has no idea how many sets she even does...and will quickly get off the machine because she feels ignant.

Ignant is a word.

Sure is a word. LOL. Good advice, by the way.

purple_tux1

Go 1/2 hour later (or earlier). Done.

Llamedos1960

Why do you assume that this woman knows or understands the unwritten rules or social rules of the gym?

Until reading it here, I was not aware that it is not acceptable to rest on the machines between reps. Now that I am aware of it, I will not do it but I'm sure there are people at my gym (many moons ago!) who will have cursed me for this.

There is a condition called Asperger's Syndrome or High Functioning Autism that can make it difficult for a person to manage in social situations, such as at a gym. People with this condition are not rude but do not understand social rules unless they are specifically taught them.

If a person came up to me in a gym and asked how many reps I had left I would give them a factual answer. I wouldn't have a clue that they were actually saying "hurry the f*** up" as I say what I mean and mean what I say. I do not understand social innuendos.

So please don't assume that this woman knows that her behaviour is unacceptable to gym rats. Just tell her straight, without being rude, that you need to use the machine and could you work around each other between reps.

She may be a very nice woman who just doesn't understand unspoken, unwritten social rules.