Relationship Advice

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24

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  • Rocky_ZG
    Rocky_ZG Posts: 70 Member
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    Love cannot conquer all.
    Consider yourself lucky that you did not get trapped in a marriage and cut all ties to him.
  • Phoenixchichima
    Phoenixchichima Posts: 416
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    and sadly... its easy to fall in love. whats hard is falling in love with the right person. and then staying in love with that person .
  • dumparump
    dumparump Posts: 50 Member
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    Love was once defined to me as something in a relationship that has no expectations and does not need to force. It neither hides nor fears and gives us a chance to see the light through the darkness.

    It took me a long time of fooling myself what I thought was love to be true. I stayed with men I had no business with for years--and I onoy regret nt following my heart sooner. Do what you feel you need to do for YOU. And don't worry about the "next woman" if anything pitty her if this is how he has decided to impression himseld on you.

    My guess is the "ring" thing was a last ditch effort to keep you around. Lies and empty promises are a tactic drug addicts use too (my brother did it all the time) just don't fall for it. Youve already made a decision in your heart, so follow it.
  • spartyhawk
    spartyhawk Posts: 136
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    Yep I agree with everyone here, Loose him I think we all can agree. You will be smarter from this relationship and you will know what not to look for.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Just break up.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    Was he looking at rings to buy with YOUR money?

    Edb61ku.gif
  • sarahsfitpal
    sarahsfitpal Posts: 1
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    I lived with someone like that for 21 years and they got worse and worse until they never contributed a penny to me or the 3 children and took and took and took i got up early for the kids at weekends and on holiday and he slept in

    my therapist says these narcissistic men get worse at they get older and i saw that - my advice isfind someone who deserves and respects a hard worker like you and is not all TAKE TAKE and deception! GOOD LUCK and do not let him win you back with promises that will be broken! (that's what happened to me and the children)
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    Was he looking at rings to buy with YOUR money?

    Edb61ku.gif

    Oh my gosh! You and your friends are cute!!!! Which one of them is you? Wowzers!!!!
  • Andreaviolet89
    Andreaviolet89 Posts: 290 Member
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    Love was once defined to me as something in a relationship that has no expectations and does not need to force. It neither hides nor fears and gives us a chance to see the light through the darkness.

    It took me a long time of fooling myself what I thought was love to be true. I stayed with men I had no business with for years--and I onoy regret nt following my heart sooner. Do what you feel you need to do for YOU. And don't worry about the "next woman" if anything pitty her if this is how he has decided to impression himseld on you.

    My guess is the "ring" thing was a last ditch effort to keep you around. Lies and empty promises are a tactic drug addicts use too (my brother did it all the time) just don't fall for it. Youve already made a decision in your heart, so follow it.

    Thank you so much for your advice. It is always nice to see that other people can relate and I also had a feeling that the ring might have just been some form of manipulation.
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,311 Member
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    Break it off... regardless of how you feel about him emotionally, no one deserves to be treated that way.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    If you are frustrated now how do you think you will be 10 yrs from now if you stayed. You're 24 and still young and can find someone else who will work with you. As time marches on it only gets harder and before you know it you'll be 34 going nowhere with the same guy who is draining you.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    I would finish the breakup and consider myself lucky that I wasn't married to him.

    Yeah this is what one of my good friends said as well.

    This. Also, be glad you did not have a child (or children) with him! That would make everything soooo much harder. I have not been through it myself but have seen it around me for years.

    I think this sounds like a case that should be closed immediately. Break up.

    If it had been like this for under one year I'd say give it more time or another approach...but not at this point.
  • TheSwollMinister
    TheSwollMinister Posts: 246 Member
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    Yup. You're only 24. I can tell you this much--Love isn't enough to create a lasting relationship. Partnership, teamwork, respect, support, selflessness...all of these things NEED to be present. You absolutely WILL find them elsewhere. Move on from this guy.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    All I gotta say is, "YOU GOT what YOU WANT!" You want better, DO BETTER! We attract what we are WILLING to ACCEPT.

    When Me and My Partner broke up, I waited about 6 months to start dating; I took time to work on Me. I began dating and noticed that the first 2 people were NOT what I wanted or could accept in My Life. FROM My Life Experience this told Me that I had NOT Healed because I was attracting what I did NOT want as well as Negatives. So I "Shut Down" the dating thing and began healing and working on Me, again. LIFE's Lessons (If you Learn Them) will teach you what to DO...Otherwise You WILL REPEAT Them until You Get It!
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    Was he looking at rings to buy with YOUR money?

    Edb61ku.gif

    Oh my gosh! You and your friends are cute!!!! Which one of them is you? Wowzers!!!!

    Oh thank you so much!!

    I am the one who burned down her boyfriend's house.
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
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    I did something similar for 11 years. You don't want to know how it ended up. I gave him chance after chance after chance to fix it, and... well, I'm lucky I got out alive. It was a bit more extreme, but please - think about yourself and your future before it's too late. You deserve so much better.
  • lessofme43
    lessofme43 Posts: 139 Member
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    Sometimes you need to put the dots real close together for men to understand what is going on. I don't mean that in a sexist way, truly; they just think & learn differently than women do (I am married 23 years and have 3 teenage sons, trust me ;) )If you have done your level best to communicate to him your frustrations and he still chooses to behave the same way, then you have your answer: you are incompatible. But all too often, people think they've communicated their feelings to each other but only have done a lot of assuming and then are hurt and confused when things take an ugly turn. Counselling is helpful, but it will take more than one session to really get to the deep issues. Good luck!
  • actingnurse1
    actingnurse1 Posts: 153 Member
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    Run... fast...far.. don't look back.. and if you're ever in DFW shoot me a note :)
  • morkiemama
    morkiemama Posts: 894 Member
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    Hard times can happen for various reasons. My bf and I have been together for over 3 years now. I am 24 just like you and he is 28 (weird coincidence huh?).

    For a long time, he wasn't in school and did not have employment. He WANTED better for himself though and never expected anyone to do anything for him. In fact, he felt guilty that we were financially unequal in the relationship. (Note: We have never lived together, so it was just random expenses and not bills).

    Despite his situation, he was planning for school and trying to get work. He did chores and helped anyone out that needed it while he was free (his family & mine). In the end, he went back to school once he found a calling in his life and he is now employed in an internship as well.

    There is a big difference between "falling on hard times" and being a giant D-bag mooch. My bf is the former and yours is the latter. I am glad to see that you kicked him out. He will get his s*** together, or likely find someone else to mooch off of. Either way, you are better off.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    I learnt this when I was very young. GET OUT. He will not change, and will not grow to live up to your standards.
    You need to consider how high your standards are of others, and stop expecting them to be able to live up to them without them bad-mouthing you to others. Trust me, you will meet someone better.

    Get out of the relationship, and move on.

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