Relationship Advice

Options
13

Replies

  • Andreaviolet89
    Andreaviolet89 Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    Yup. You're only 24. I can tell you this much--Love isn't enough to create a lasting relationship. Partnership, teamwork, respect, support, selflessness...all of these things NEED to be present. You absolutely WILL find them elsewhere. Move on from this guy.

    Wow this is like exactly what my best friend said. she said that love is not enough and to not accept a lifestyle that doesnt fit my needs.
  • evanblove
    evanblove Posts: 82 Member
    Options
    FWIW: Next time don't live with a guy until you are married to him.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Options
    Get ready for a life of being the financially responsible one.

    No one can offer you any advice because you know in your heart of heart that it's not going to change.

    And out of curiosity how long does he plan on being in school, what is he studying, and is he making progress in earning that degree?
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Options
    FWIW: Next time don't live with a guy until you are married to him.

    why whats the benefit of that? If she had married the bum then it would require a lawyer and state to leave him.
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    Options
    FWIW: Next time don't live with a guy until you are married to him.
    That has absolutely nothing to do with it. I live with my fiance and have lived with him for about 3 years now, we share responsibilities 50/50, including bills, cleaning, cooking, laundry etc.
  • abbylbrown23
    abbylbrown23 Posts: 344 Member
    Options
    FWIW: Next time don't live with a guy until you are married to him.

    I have to disagree with this one sorry. I think you never truly know a person until you have lived with them!
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Options
    $ = Caring.

    $ represents time spent and work. Someone who is not willing to invest their time and work for their S.O. isn't worth a minute.
  • WanaBMom
    WanaBMom Posts: 43 Member
    Options
    If you didn't go into this agreeing he'd be a desperate house wife then dump him. You are young, beautiful, and vibrant. There are plenty of other real men out there that you are passing by just by being with him.

    True men hold their own, accent you, and don't stress you out this much. It isn't worth it.

    BTW I didn't find my true real man until I was 25 and we got married when I was 29. I dumped someone and three months later he came along and blew my requirements for a good man out of the water!
  • justlistening
    justlistening Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    I don't usually reply to these types of threads, but wanted to add that he is manipulating you-- trying to make you feel guilty, trying to make you be the bad person. I am sure he could have mentioned the car insurance issue at a more convenient time. The whole ring thing sounds a bit suspicious given the timing. He is going to try to manipulate you even if he moves out. Notice I said IF. Looking for an apt does not guarantee that he will leave. It sounds like it is learned from his family. It is difficult to break those behaviors that we learn growing up.

    Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Be strong!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Options
    You know what actually stuck out as the worst part of all this to me? Him talking smack about you to his friend so badly that they don't even watn to be around you. Sounds to me like this guy has absolutely no respect for you. He's using your for your generosity and you obviously come way far after his family. Doesn't sound to me like the kind of guy who's thinking about spending the rest of his life with a special lady. (looking at rings my butt!)

    If it was me, I think I'd finish up that break-up and be done with him.
  • basslinewild
    basslinewild Posts: 294 Member
    Options
    Was he looking at rings to buy with YOUR money?

    Edb61ku.gif

    LOL!
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    Options
    You know what actually stuck out as the worst part of all this to me? Him talking smack about you to his friend so badly that they don't even watn to be around you. Sounds to me like this guy has absolutely no respect for you. He's using your for your generosity and you obviously come way far after his family. Doesn't sound to me like the kind of guy who's thinking about spending the rest of his life with a special lady. (looking at rings my butt!)

    If it was me, I think I'd finish up that break-up and be done with him.

    That stuck out badly for me, as well.
    Personally, I think the "ring" talk was to see how much longer he could entangle her in his b.s...
  • cookiealbright
    cookiealbright Posts: 605 Member
    Options
    I couldn't live/love a man that I didn't respect and I don't respect users. You are enabling him. You must have a need to make it all better. This is as good as it's gonna get. You've already wasted too much time on this loser. Get rid of him.
  • Andreaviolet89
    Andreaviolet89 Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    I don't usually reply to these types of threads, but wanted to add that he is manipulating you-- trying to make you feel guilty, trying to make you be the bad person. I am sure he could have mentioned the car insurance issue at a more convenient time. The whole ring thing sounds a bit suspicious given the timing. He is going to try to manipulate you even if he moves out. Notice I said IF. Looking for an apt does not guarantee that he will leave. It sounds like it is learned from his family. It is difficult to break those behaviors that we learn growing up.

    Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Be strong!

    Well said. I think you have a great point about it being learned behavior.
  • shell_mc
    shell_mc Posts: 109 Member
    Options
    You know what actually stuck out as the worst part of all this to me? Him talking smack about you to his friend so badly that they don't even watn to be around you. Sounds to me like this guy has absolutely no respect for you. He's using your for your generosity and you obviously come way far after his family. Doesn't sound to me like the kind of guy who's thinking about spending the rest of his life with a special lady. (looking at rings my butt!)

    If it was me, I think I'd finish up that break-up and be done with him.

    This, totally.

    There's no way that I'd be in a relationship with an able bodied person who chose not to work. It's inconsiderate to put the full financial burden of a relationship on one person for no reason (e.g. disability, person is a stay at home parent, full time student, etc.).

    Run far, run fast, don't look back. You are young and beautiful, and a man who is ready and willing to be a partner is waiting for you out there somewhere.

    Best of luck!
  • JoyeII
    JoyeII Posts: 240 Member
    Options
    Was he looking at rings to buy with YOUR money?

    Edb61ku.gif

    Oh my gosh! You and your friends are cute!!!! Which one of them is you? Wowzers!!!!

    Oh thank you so much!!

    I am the one who burned down her boyfriend's house.

    Hahahahahahaha! TLC was great!
  • JoyeII
    JoyeII Posts: 240 Member
    Options
    It sounds like you already know what you want to do.

    Get rid of him. Kick him to the curb. He's a mooch.
  • OMGSugarOHNOS
    OMGSugarOHNOS Posts: 204 Member
    Options
    You made this thread/broke up with him on Veteren's Day? :(

    You should be providing + cooking and cleaning for him just for the fact that he served our country and well you wouldn't have freedom if it wasn't for him. Freedom isn't free.

    You should be ashamed of yourself.
  • Andreaviolet89
    Andreaviolet89 Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    You made this thread/broke up with him on Veteren's Day? :(

    You should be providing + cooking and cleaning for him just for the fact that he served our country and well you wouldn't have freedom if it wasn't for him. Freedom isn't free.

    You should be ashamed of yourself.

    I didnt break up with him on Veteran's day. I was asking for advice. The world doesn't stop for a holiday either.
  • FrenchMob
    FrenchMob Posts: 1,167 Member
    Options
    You made this thread/broke up with him on Veteren's Day? :(

    You should be providing + cooking and cleaning for him just for the fact that he served our country and well you wouldn't have freedom if it wasn't for him. Freedom isn't free.

    You should be ashamed of yourself.
    Are you insane? Sounds like she's been doing that for 4 years already.

Categories