Damned if I do, Damned if I don't

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  • squirlyrn
    squirlyrn Posts: 3
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    You are your own person. Just because you are married, doesnt mean that person is supposed to control your every move. Yeah, maybe it hurt her feelings, but she is truely aware that you are trying to lose weight and should support you by either cooking healthier, or letting you make your own food. Are you sure she doesnt feel threatened because you are trying to lose weight? When someone wants to lose weight, sometimes their partner feels guilty about there own eating habits, or their own need to lose weight. Sometimes it is an insecurity within themselves. I have been a full-time nurse, and a stay at home mom, so I have experienced both worlds. Staying at home, you feel your only control is over the kids, and house, and food. However, if my husband was on a diet, I would respect him and support his goals.
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
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    I'm a sahm and do all the cooking/baking in our house. My husband has recently started trying to lose weight and it was not a big deal to make some changes to how I prepare his food, in order to accommodate his new dietary needs. Your wife needs to get over herself and help you out.
  • squirlyrn
    squirlyrn Posts: 3
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    Agree...He needs to say it nice, and she needs to accept it!
  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
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    She said I have to eat what she makes.

    No. You. Don't.

    That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard.

    YOU are taking responsibility for YOU, as well as, offering to prepare your own meals. I could see her being miffed if you insisted that SHE prepare special meals for you, even though that would be nice of her, but you didn't. You simply stated that you want to try something different, on your own. She needs to respect your decisions on what you do for your health.

    In my case, my husband and I both work outside the home. He doesn't eat veggies, but I depend on them! So, when I cook, I cook my veggies. He doesn't eat them, and I don't care. He also doesn't care that I cook them. That's normal boundaries, imo.

    Don't allow her attitude to affect your resolve to better yourself. Prepare your own food.
  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
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    I'm a sahm and do all the cooking/baking in our house. My husband has recently started trying to lose weight and it was not a big deal to make some changes to how I prepare his food, in order to accommodate his new dietary needs. Your wife needs to get over herself and help you out.

    Haha! I agree, but it sounds like that might not happen, in this case.
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
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    Seriously, making pancakes with half & half AND butter? WTF? Who eats like that? AND, her feelings are hurt cuz he doesn't want to eat that crap? She isn't supporting his weight loss goals cooking like that. Perhaps she is nervous about her BIG Mike turning into HOT Mike. OP, put your foot down. You are her husband not her child. Good luck!
  • RosaliaBee
    RosaliaBee Posts: 146 Member
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    Perhaps she is nervous about her BIG Mike turning into HOT Mike.

    Yeah, she's insecure about him becoming attractive to other women, that's why she's all 'hurt' about him wanting to cook healthier meals for himself.

    Also as another poster said, some women are very territorial around the home and kitchen, they see it as being their 'domain' to control. Such women will also often treat their husbands like children.

    In making decisions she dislikes, he's shaking up her need for control over both the home and him. I suspect he's going to have some dramas to face down as he shifts the power balance that keeps her feeling secure.

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