MFP Husband

24

Replies

  • UnitedBoy83
    UnitedBoy83 Posts: 888 Member
    I'd like to think i'd make an excellent MFP husband! :flowerforyou:

    british? tall? DIBS!

    How you doin'?! :bigsmile:

    he's mine no taksies backsies. *evil grin and rubs hand together* :devil: :devil: :devil:

    Hahaha yaaaaay :drinker:
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
    i'm sorry.

    i only service wives.

    You're MINE!!!! So this should NOT be plural!!
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    MFP husband leads to MFP divorce and then you become bitter, *kitten* around and catch VD. True story.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

    1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
    2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
    3. Regularly say insensitive things
    4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
    5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

    Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

    Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.

    hmmm. I pay attention...i don't have unrealistic expectations....i would never want to tear down my partner...i flirt sometimes, but not a lot...i do things to show appreciation and i also do dishes, pick up, cook and laundry.

    i don't think i'm your guy.
  • onmyown326
    onmyown326 Posts: 177
    All I can offer you is my platinum Visa card.....

    oh I'll take that!!!! :love: :heart: :drinker:
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    MFP husband leads to MFP divorce and then you become bitter, *kitten* around and catch VD. True story.

    I have NOT found this to be true
  • onmyown326
    onmyown326 Posts: 177
    Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

    1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
    2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
    3. Regularly say insensitive things
    4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
    5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

    Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

    Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.


    BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! This is a fairy tale hun-what you need is what I have-an MFP WIFE!!!!! Now she listens, unlike my husband. :wink: :drinker:
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    I'd like to think i'd make an excellent MFP husband! :flowerforyou:

    british? tall? DIBS!

    MINE! :angry:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

    1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
    2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
    3. Regularly say insensitive things
    4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
    5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

    Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

    Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.

    I cannot be your husband if you're going to let those dirty dishes pile up in the kitchen.

    can you see me thru the computer? deb75cb931db37daf94ae1fc12a23a2b-437715030.gif
  • Beastmaster50
    Beastmaster50 Posts: 505 Member
    All I can offer you is my platinum Visa card.....

    oh I'll take that!!!! :love: :heart: :drinker:
    card number is on its way ;)
  • TheGirlsATimeBomb
    TheGirlsATimeBomb Posts: 434 Member
    I'd like to think i'd make an excellent MFP husband! :flowerforyou:

    british? tall? DIBS!

    MINE! :angry:

    too late. we've already honeymooned PMs :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
    Have you considered a "open" relationship?
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Have you considered a "open" relationship?

    Get back in the vault. I didn't let you out.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    MFP husband leads to MFP divorce and then you become bitter, *kitten* around and catch VD. True story.

    Unlesss....MFP husband leads to MFP husbands because they don't know what the heck is up behind closed PM's. and then you become awesome and *kitten* around and catch a wave to wonderfulz. True story.
  • onmyown326
    onmyown326 Posts: 177
    All I can offer you is my platinum Visa card.....

    oh I'll take that!!!! :love: :heart: :drinker:
    card number is on its way ;)

    SCORE!!!!!:smokin:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    How do you have the time to create this post, what with all that sandwich making you should be doing.




























    I KID, I KID!
    :laugh:

    Can mine be turkey with cream cheese and alfalfa sprouts and tomato and mustard? I always wanted a wife and fit all those criteria OP mentioned quite well. She never said you had to have a dangler.
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
    Have you considered a "open" relationship?

    Get back in the vault. I didn't let you out.

    Yes mistress
  • TX_Thundercat
    TX_Thundercat Posts: 2,437 Member
    1. What?
    2. Looks like you're slacking on your cardio, babe. *puts another Snickers in the deep fryer*
    3. #%&ing @*&%^
    4. Look over there! *Damn her friend has a nice *kitten**
    5. Yeah, dinner was okay, I guess. Take care of those dishes, will ya? Gonna go to Hooters with the guys...


    Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

    1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
    2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
    3. Regularly say insensitive things
    4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
    5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

    Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

    Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.
  • onmyown326
    onmyown326 Posts: 177
    How do you have the time to create this post, what with all that sandwich making you should be doing.




























    I KID, I KID!
    :laugh:

    O NO YOU DIDNT!!!!!:devil: :laugh:
  • Gordon_L
    Gordon_L Posts: 4,475 Member
    I'm pretty sure I don't qualify...shucks!
  • onmyown326
    onmyown326 Posts: 177
    1. What?
    2. Looks like you're slacking on your cardio, babe. *puts another Snickers in the deep fryer*
    3. #%&ing @*&%^
    4. Look over there! *Damn her friend has a nice *kitten**
    5. Yeah, dinner was okay, I guess. Take care of those dishes, will ya? Gonna go to Hooters with the guys...


    Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

    1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
    2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
    3. Regularly say insensitive things
    4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
    5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

    Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

    Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.

    I JUST ***** SLAPPED YOUR *kitten* CUZ YOU WERE ON MY FL BEFORE!!!!:laugh:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    1. What?
    2. Looks like you're slacking on your cardio, babe. *puts another Snickers in the deep fryer*
    3. #%&ing @*&%^
    4. Look over there! *Damn her friend has a nice *kitten**
    5. Yeah, dinner was okay, I guess. Take care of those dishes, will ya? Gonna go to Hooters with the guys...


    Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

    1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
    2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
    3. Regularly say insensitive things
    4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
    5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

    Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

    Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.

    Marry me! We can just buy paper plates. And fried pickles served by girls in pantyhose and orange shorts are my fave!

    snickers.jpg?w=487 will you accept this instead of an engagement ring for my non traditonal proposal?
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
    Have you considered a "open" relationship?

    Get back in the vault. I didn't let you out.

    You said you were MINE! :angry: :explode: :angry:
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Have you considered a "open" relationship?

    Get back in the vault. I didn't let you out.

    You said you were MINE! :angry: :explode: :angry:

    Ohhhh *kitten*...

    wait wait wait...I never submitted my wifey app, remember?!
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    Awwwwww, shoots, I want me a MFP hubby, but purely just to change the oil and do the sex. Just tell me I'm pretty and you love me once a year. I'm easy.
  • TX_Thundercat
    TX_Thundercat Posts: 2,437 Member
    Awwwwww, shoots, I want me a MFP hubby, but purely just to change the oil and do the sex. Just tell me I'm pretty and you love me once a year. I'm easy.

    You had me at easy.
  • TX_Thundercat
    TX_Thundercat Posts: 2,437 Member
    Hell yes. But I don't care what that wrapped says, I'm not sharing.
    1. What?
    2. Looks like you're slacking on your cardio, babe. *puts another Snickers in the deep fryer*
    3. #%&ing @*&%^
    4. Look over there! *Damn her friend has a nice *kitten**
    5. Yeah, dinner was okay, I guess. Take care of those dishes, will ya? Gonna go to Hooters with the guys...


    Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

    1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
    2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
    3. Regularly say insensitive things
    4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
    5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

    Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

    Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.

    Marry me! We can just buy paper plates. And fried pickles served by girls in pantyhose and orange shorts are my fave!

    snickers.jpg?w=487 will you accept this instead of an engagement ring for my non traditonal proposal?
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
    Awwwwww, shoots, I want me a MFP hubby, but purely just to change the oil and do the sex. Just tell me I'm pretty and you love me once a year. I'm easy.

    I'll one up TX and take out the trash too.
  • onmyown326
    onmyown326 Posts: 177
    Have you considered a "open" relationship?

    Get back in the vault. I didn't let you out.

    Yes mistress

    This thread is so hot lol
  • TX_Thundercat
    TX_Thundercat Posts: 2,437 Member
    I'll see your trash taking out and raise you a spider killing.
    Awwwwww, shoots, I want me a MFP hubby, but purely just to change the oil and do the sex. Just tell me I'm pretty and you love me once a year. I'm easy.

    I'll one up TX and take out the trash too.

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