MFP Husband

shutyourpieholeandsquat

blackwarrior

Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
3. Regularly say insensitive things
4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.

BeanCounter3

OMG....having a hard time too not laugh out loud....scared to crap out of my office-mate earlier reading through these hahahaha

get10fit2013

Just when I was starting to miss being married....BAM. Thanks for the reminder!

Vince_1964

Did the OP say something ... I was distracted by football talk and all the hot chicks' profile pics ...

sub10orbust

sorry.. not interested in anime

somerisagirlsname

Hmm i guess i'm not like most husbands because i enjoy snuggling, watching lifetime, and talking about my feelings and i never want sex.

TX_Thundercat

Hmm i guess i'm not like most husbands because i enjoy snuggling, watching lifetime, and talking about my feelings and i never want sex.

Win.

HawtinPhoenix

sorry.. not interested in anime

That's okay. I prefer my hubby has a head on his shoulders. Although I don't expect him to necessarily think with that one.

Timshel_

Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND

Sounds more like a male harem.

And it is not so hot in AZ now.

xALEXANDROx

sorry.. not interested in anime

That's okay. I prefer men with a head.

I have two

ElliottTN

Hmm i guess i'm not like most husbands because i enjoy snuggling, watching lifetime, and talking about my feelings and i never want sex.

Win.

Oh...I didn't realize that mocking homosexuality was still the thing that "cool" kids do nowadays.

I believe you've got your terms mixed up. A female dog might fit a good deal better.

somerisagirlsname

Hmm i guess i'm not like most husbands because i enjoy snuggling, watching lifetime, and talking about my feelings and i never want sex.

Win.

Oh...I didn't realize that mocking homosexuality was still the thing that "cool" kids do nowadays.

I believe you've got your terms mixed up. A female dog might fit a good deal better.

ElliottTN

Hmm i guess i'm not like most husbands because i enjoy snuggling, watching lifetime, and talking about my feelings and i never want sex.

Win.

Oh...I didn't realize that mocking homosexuality was still the thing that "cool" kids do nowadays.

I believe you've got your terms mixed up. A female dog might fit a good deal better.

And this is coming from someone who is married to a guy that looks like he has tasted more penis than all the women in this thread combined?

somerisagirlsname

And this is coming from someone who is married to a guy that looks like he has tasted more penis than all the women in this thread combined?

You spelled "engaged" wrong. Also; I am an ally, and ALL of my gay and lesbian friends would have thought the gif I used to be hilarious, so get your panties out of a bunch already, it's the internet.

ETA: I like my guys lanky and effiminate, so sue me.

HawtinPhoenix

And this is coming from someone who is married to a guy that looks like he has tasted more penis than all the women in this thread combined?

You spelled "engaged" wrong. Also; I am an ally, and ALL of my gay and lesbian friends would have thought the gif I used to be hilarious, so get your panties out of a bunch already, it's the internet.

ETA: I like my guys lanky and effiminate, so sue me.

Personally I think your man is a cutie! Go girl:flowerforyou:

somerisagirlsname

And this is coming from someone who is married to a guy that looks like he has tasted more penis than all the women in this thread combined?

You spelled "engaged" wrong. Also; I am an ally, and ALL of my gay and lesbian friends would have thought the gif I used to be hilarious, so get your panties out of a bunch already, it's the internet.

ETA: I like my guys lanky and effiminate, so sue me.

Personally I think your man is a cutie! Go girl:flowerforyou:

Thanks! I think so too :flowerforyou:

Lrdoflamancha

i'm sorry.

i only service wives.

That works for me as long as I get to watch. Maybe lend a helping hamd.

Groovyca2022

I was just told I could have one of these...*looking*

FabulousFantasticFifty

AWW... really? I'm gonna start interviews as well!

Unknown

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funforsports

FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »

AWW... really? I'm gonna start interviews as well!

Interviews suck.....probably have to wear a suit and everything.

ebbiewilliams9

bleh, stereotypes are no fun.

FabulousFantasticFifty

funforsports wrote: »

FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »

AWW... really? I'm gonna start interviews as well!

Interviews suck.....probably have to wear a suit and everything.

A nice Suit looks pretty darn Snazzy on a Handsome well built Fella!

winf

Sounds like too much work, I'm just gonna go over here and creep some profiles instead