Angry with Husband
Replies
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<waits for the inevitable "just break up" replies>
Does swelling count as 'bulking'? If so, beat'm down with a frozen jug of milk! j/k
Oh, how about some Wil E. Coyote trickery? Remember the one where he put buckshot in the pile of bird seed?
Step 1: Make a bunch of "allegedly" healthy muffins, but secretly make'm "Paula Deen" style (lard, whole milk, etc.)
Step 2: Leave'm on the table next to a glass of <air quotes> "skim milk"
Step 3: Leave room.
Step 4: Return to the room just in time for him to say "Meep Meep" and zip out the door.
Step 5: Commence evil laughter with opportunely-timed thunder/lightning in the background
Step 6: Repeat steps 1-5 as necessary.
Alternatively, you can tweak step #1 with Ex-Lax, Metamucil, etc.
You're welcome.
This seems like it would work, but I wonder if it would just have the side effect of him actually gaining weight (his goal) and thus wanting to keep stealing my food. It's have to be Ex-lax muffins to have any actual deterrent result. Does exlax actually taste like chocolate, for real? /thoughtful face0 -
Seriously though, I'd be mad too. Food is sacred. Do not touch my food unless I have given you permission.
Knowing you, you wouldn't have married a *totally* unreasonable guy. I vote you simply tell him to stop touching your food, or you will delete his most prized WoW character.
Touch my muffins again and Dishanky gets the ax?
This could work. Get him right where it matters: his gaming.0 -
Is he aware of how you feel about this? Seems like a problem that could be easily solved by just saying "I'm putting a green sticker on the food that is mine. Please don't eat the food that has a green sticker."
He would probably just eat the green sticker. Men.
I am appalled at your overgeneralization of Men. You think you're too for school. But I've got a newsflash for you Mr. Walter Kronkite....you aren't
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Seriously though, I'd be mad too. Food is sacred. Do not touch my food unless I have given you permission.
Knowing you, you wouldn't have married a *totally* unreasonable guy. I vote you simply tell him to stop touching your food, or you will delete his most prized WoW character.
Touch my muffins again and Dishanky gets the ax?
This could work. Get him right where it matters: his gaming.
You guys are entering sociopath territory0 -
Is he aware of how you feel about this? Seems like a problem that could be easily solved by just saying "I'm putting a green sticker on the food that is mine. Please don't eat the food that has a green sticker."
He would probably just eat the green sticker. Men.
It'd go something like this
Me: Hon. Where the hell are my muffins?
Him: I ate them.
Me: Did you not see the green sticker?
Him: Yeah, but once I took off the wrapper the green sticker was gone. Seemed like fair game after that.0 -
If divorce is not option, I agree with the coyote method previously posted. Make some DECOY food. It doesn't even have to be good food. Make some nasty recipe you absolutely loathe and purposefully leave it out for him to steal away. Hide YOUR food if you have to. My husband also tends to polish off the things (before I even get a chance to touch them) without me knowing, and next morning, surprise, it's all gone. I've started to hide me "treats" under other things that are much less appetizing, like Kidney beans. lol.
ETA: My husband has "On the top" eyes. Meaning if he sees food on the top (in the fridge/freezer/cabinet) that looks yummy, he will eat it. Hence the putting your stuff on the bottom.0 -
I use to hate when family members only bought regular ice tea/soda but would drink my diet ice tea/soda when they ran out.0
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Kennel train him.0
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Is he aware of how you feel about this? Seems like a problem that could be easily solved by just saying "I'm putting a green sticker on the food that is mine. Please don't eat the food that has a green sticker."
He would probably just eat the green sticker. Men.
It'd go something like this
Me: Hon. Where the hell are my muffins?
Him: I ate them.
Me: Did you not see the green sticker?
Him: Yeah, but once I took off the wrapper the green sticker was gone. Seemed like fair game after that.
It seems that perhaps a safe is in order.0 -
Is he aware of how you feel about this? Seems like a problem that could be easily solved by just saying "I'm putting a green sticker on the food that is mine. Please don't eat the food that has a green sticker."
He would probably just eat the green sticker. Men.
I am appalled at your overgeneralization of Men. You think you're too cool for school. But I've got a newsflash for you Mr. Walter Kronkite....you aren't
:P0 -
I use to hate when family members only bought regular ice tea/soda but would drink my diet ice tea/soda when they ran out.
This is the issue really. Runs out of regular soda, drinks my diet stuff. Runs out of muffins, eats mine. Runs out of gelato, eats the slow churned vanilla. These are things he would normally never consider bu all of a sudden he's on them like A. They're the only thing around (not true) B. He can't drive to the store and C. He doesn't know how to cook his own food. Which he does. He makes his own breakfast every morning (I generally am against waking up at 4am to attempt to cook, so he's gotta fend for himself)
I mean, it's bad enough I can't have the 400 calorie muffins he eats, but then he has to nom all of mine too. He clearly doesn't appreciate the large TDEE he's been graced with.0 -
Kennel train him.
Agreed. That way you can just throw some food on the floor in there.0 -
Seriously though, I'd be mad too. Food is sacred. Do not touch my food unless I have given you permission.
Knowing you, you wouldn't have married a *totally* unreasonable guy. I vote you simply tell him to stop touching your food, or you will delete his most prized WoW character.
Touch my muffins again and Dishanky gets the ax?
This could work. Get him right where it matters: his gaming.
You guys are entering sociopath territory
Drastic measures!Kennel train him.
No, that actually sounds like something he'd enjoy.0 -
I actually laughed out loud - awesome advice!
Hide it! :laugh:0 -
If divorce is not option, I agree with the coyote method previously posted. Make some DECOY food. It doesn't even have to be good food. Make some nasty recipe you absolutely loathe and purposefully leave it out for him to steal away. Hide YOUR food if you have to. My husband also tends to polish off the things (before I even get a chance to touch them) without me knowing, and next morning, surprise, it's all gone. I've started to hide me "treats" under other things that are much less appetizing, like Kidney beans. lol.
ETA: My husband has "On the top" eyes. Meaning if he sees food on the top (in the fridge/freezer/cabinet) that looks yummy, he will eat it. Hence the putting your stuff on the bottom.
^^ This...kind of...my fiance is a grazer...if he can see it he eats it, and it isn't even necessarily a conscious action. (Dam* his metabolism!!!!) Asking him to stop wasn't working so I now hide my low cal or special food. Almond milk is in the back of the fridge so he has to move his full gallon of regular milk to get to it. My fresh fruit stays in a basket at work with me as well as any other foods I might eat for lunch (I have a drawer in my desk that is my "lunch" drawer). I have an entire cabinet of snack food for him, and anything that I might have especially for me, like my OatFit oatmeal, etc. goes in the cabinet with the canned veggies that he never touches. My cans of sparkling water go in the laundry room while his regular soda stays out in the snack cupboard. It seems like extra work but it keeps me from getting mad at him, and since everything else in our relationship goes relatively smoothly I would rather do the extra work and avoid the fight. For the most part "out of sight out of mind" works pretty well.
Get a combination lock for your own special cabinet??0 -
Is he aware of how you feel about this? Seems like a problem that could be easily solved by just saying "I'm putting a green sticker on the food that is mine. Please don't eat the food that has a green sticker."
He would probably just eat the green sticker. Men.
I am appalled at your overgeneralization of Men. You think you're too for school. But I've got a newsflash for you Mr. Walter Kronkite....you aren't
You are a hottie.
Does that help? *wiggles eyebrows*0 -
I use to hate when family members only bought regular ice tea/soda but would drink my diet ice tea/soda when they ran out.
This is the issue really. Runs out of regular soda, drinks my diet stuff. Runs out of muffins, eats mine. Runs out of gelato, eats the slow churned vanilla. These are things he would normally never consider bu all of a sudden he's on them like A. They're the only thing around (not true) B. He can't drive to the store and C. He doesn't know how to cook his own food. Which he does. He makes his own breakfast every morning (I generally am against waking up at 4am to attempt to cook, so he's gotta fend for himself)
I mean, it's bad enough I can't have the 400 calorie muffins he eats, but then he has to nom all of mine too. He clearly doesn't appreciate the large TDEE he's been graced with.
I would probably stop buying my stuff and eat 1/2 portions of his stuff to prove a point, but i am spiteful like that.0 -
I'm only here because I've given you two cakes and you work at See's, FCS.
I do not understand the problem with this guy.
WPT.0 -
Oh my! That would P me off so much! I agree he needs to stop. I guess the only thing that I can think of is to guard you food. What does he say when you ask him to stop? My husband will eat anything and everything without even thinking, but he does it without even thinking. So he had to really try harder when he decided to start bullking to make sure he was getting all his macros and stuff.
I told him to back off of my food after the muffin debacle (SIX!!) and he said he needed the muffins more than me, and that'd he'd left me 2. Totally unapologetic.
I'm gonna start taking my plates to the bathroom with me I think. it's the only way.
God, he sounds like a nightmare. :noway:0 -
Talk to your husband?0
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I have to go, but with Adini working a lot i believe there is actually only one answer to your question.
JUST. BREAK. UP.
bye bye0 -
I'm only here because I've given you two cakes and you work at See's, FCS.
I do not understand the problem with this guy.
WPT.
You know, he eats my See's too. I brought home some almond buds and he saw the bag in my purse and had it out and taken to his computer corner before I'd gotten my shoes off.
In his defense though they were for him. But he didn't know that!0 -
It happens. They don't think.0
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Silver lining: Soon the pounds will be melting off, simply because you won't be eating anything. Then your hubby will finally bulk up.
WIN WIN!
Gawd, OP. Why even bother posting? This clearly isn't an issue.0 -
Talk to your husband?
I did talk to him! I asked him why he ate all my muffins and he just blew me off. Do you think coming to the internet was my first solution? What kind of person do you think I am?Silver lining: Soon the pounds will be melting off, simply because you won't be eating anything. Then your hubby will finally bulk up.
WIN WIN!
Gawd, OP. Why even bother posting? This clearly isn't an issue.
Hmm. When you put it like that it makes all kinds of sense. Maybe he's just trying to help me out?0 -
Silver lining: Soon the pounds will be melting off, simply because you won't be eating anything. Then your hubby will finally bulk up.
WIN WIN!
Gawd, OP. Why even bother posting? This clearly isn't an issue.
Hmm. When you put it like that it makes all kinds of sense. Maybe he's just trying to help me out?
You guys are in this together and for the same reason, of course he's trying to help you on your journey. You're just acting like a bully.0 -
I can sympathize! My husband is a competitive power-lifter and as such has much higher calorie requirements than I do. Now, he can't just eat whatever he wants and not gain fat, but he does get to eat (I estimate) 3500-4000 cal/day and maintain. Meanwhile I'm over here netting 1200 cal/day and still losing less than 1lb/week. It feels so unfair! Also, I know that I am able to exercise control at the grocery store by not buying the foods I know I'll be tempted to overindulge in. But HE wants/needs these foods, and once they're in the house it's MUCH harder for me to resist them. That is how I managed to gain 40 lbs in 4 yrs of marriage! I've lost 10 now but it's painfully slow and very frustrating!0
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But eating my good?! That's just rude and inconsiderate.
I personally like when my good is eaten. :smokin: :drinker:
OK I just busted out laughing at this!!! LOL!!! I know that's right!!!! And the problem would be....:bigsmile:0 -
Now i want almond buds, muffins, sees candy, pizza , grilled cheese sandwich and what not! Thanks OP
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But eating my good?! That's just rude and inconsiderate.
I personally like when my good is eaten. :smokin: :drinker:
OK I just busted out laughing at this!!! LOL!!! I know that's right!!!! And the problem would be....:bigsmile:
If he eats all her good, there is not enough good in the world to go around?
This is one of my personal theories when people get all uptight because someone else got something good.
Why you hatin'? There is more than enough good to go around. The more good, the better.0
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