Feeling really let down

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124

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  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    Peeps, I'm not even going to keep replying. the nasty people are just not worth my time. There are some lovely people on this post but a lot of negative imbeciles. They aren't worth my time of day. 'Tough love' 'constructive criticism' I don't take into consideration unless it is put nicely. Put it in a nice way, I listen to it. If there is anything I've been taught from a group I go to, is not to hang about with negative people, because not only do they bring themselves down, but yourself also. And I don't need that. So keep squabbling like little children. I'm off.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
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    Peeps, I'm not even going to keep replying. the nasty people are just not worth my time. There are some lovely people on this post but a lot of negative imbeciles. They aren't worth my time of day. 'Tough love' 'constructive criticism' I don't take into consideration unless it is put nicely. Put it in a nice way, I listen to it. If there is anything I've been taught from a group I go to, is not to hang about with negative people, because not only do they bring themselves down, but yourself also. And I don't need that. So keep squabbling like little children. I'm off.

    Also thank you to everyone who has been nice to me on here, You're really kind and I'm a firm believer that if someone is nice to me, I'm nice to them.
  • linzchapates
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    seriously, It fluctuates...I will lose 3 lbs then come up a 1lbs... there are so many variables you can't control such as water retention, hormones etc... Don't sweat 1 lb.. just stick with it for 1 month. be honest and accurate in your logging. Lying about what you're eating will only fail you... I promise if you stick to your calories you will lose in 30 days :)
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    First, I think you need to be more honest with yourself. Going to a shop and carrying bags for a long distance through stairs and pathways is not exercise. It's daily life. You say you're going to keep logging it (which means you do it often enough to be included in daily activity), but you're not being honest with yourself this way. Do you honestly believe you will lose weight this way?

    Secondly, stop making excuses. Sure, we don't know your situation. You don't know ours either. But I can guarantee most of us have been in the same mindset as you at least once in our lives. We've learned from our mistakes and now know what it takes to succeed. "Situations" have nothing to do with weight loss. But a calorie deficit does. It doesn't matter what situation you're in, if you want it, you'll make it work. Since you live with your parents and siblings, talk to your parents about making healthier food choices and ask them to purchase less processed foods for you. They can all eat hot dogs and lunchables or whatever processed goodness is in the house, while you have have something deliciously healthy and less processed.

    In the end, it all boils down to you. You have to work HARD for the things you want in life.

    I'm sorry that you feel that some of us are harsh. But just because they seem harsh, they ARE supportive. Support comes in all different forms. Nobody is going to coddle you and tell you "there, there". This is reality, not some fantasy. I'm sorry that we can't be rainbows and unicorns for you. :)
  • S3r3knitty
    S3r3knitty Posts: 159 Member
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    Make one change: don't eat your exercise calories back. Again, you may not be burning what the data base says. If you make ONE change, make that one and see what happens (and water). Keep dancing and walking.
    Additionaly I wouldn't record "going to shops and back" and "vacuuming" as exercise and I am not sure what "dawdling around" is but don't record it. Generally I wouldn't enter activities that you would anyway do. You did all theses things before too and it didn't stop you from gaining weight.

    I don't use the database as I find some things people put in aren't accurate, and why use it anyway for exercise when everyone has a different body and burns differently. I use an app called 'cardio trainer', so if my exercise is inaccurate, it is down to that. The shop I went to, took quite awhile to get to and back. holding shopping bags and walking there and back up stairs, up a hill, along pathways is actually quite a workout. So I will keep recording that as you don't know what that workout is like. My fitness is pretty good so it didn't affect me much, but I still felt worked out. I actually did not do these things before when I was fat, I would dance and things but wouldn't walk to the shops or vacuum. Since I lost 20 pounds and became thin, and my fitness level got better I did these things, and not even for exercise, but because I'm recovering from agoraphobia and need to get out as much as possible. Oh and yeah I know I shouldn't record the dawdling thing, it's just something that happened, Kind of pointless. Vacuuming actually makes me sweat though so I'm going to keep recording that. In slimming world, they would even say going to get a cup of tea is exercise. Even though that isn't. Compared to that, vacuuming is. You have to move around a lot, bend down and up, it makes me sweaty.
    Look, I gave you suggestions, no need to get so defensive. This has nothing to do with how accurate it is and I am happy that you are able to go outside now but vaccuuming and such does nothing for your fitness level and eating back all those calories will hinder you in your weight loss especially when you know that any app just estimates. Yes, we don't know your situation but neither do you know ours and fact is most people don't record such things.

    I am / was terribly unfit even though I run up and down the stairs in my house countless times a day and got out of breath when I keep forgetting stuff in the other floor and need to go back. I do garden work and have sore muscles afterwards. I bike so fast to the train station and back everyday that I am out of breath. I regularly clean my whole house and get sweaty and exhausted. However this is all everyday's work and I do not record it
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
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    I really think you need more time to see better results! If you've done this for 2 years you already know it takes a lot of patience. None of us really gets the results we would have expected at the beginning. I'm sure that your gain was just temporary, especially considering that you previously said that this hasn't been your *best* week speaking about food. There's no need to weigh every week by the way, just behave well, eat healthy and exercise, and try again in a week or two. No matter how small the loss will be, at least you know you're doing the right thing!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I've been insanely healthy for two years with slimming world, and now I need a break,

    this makes no sense... why would you want to have a 'break' from being healthy?????????
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
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    You don`t ever give up !! Keep doing what your doing and measure yourself because 99% of the times that the scale does not move is when the inches are going down.

    I have had a stall last me 2 months but in that time, I lost a whole pant size !!
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
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    I've been insanely healthy for two years with slimming world, and now I need a break,

    this makes no sense... why would you want to have a 'break' from being healthy?????????

    Sometimes you just feel tired of exercising and avoiding junk food, or at least this happens to me.
  • rmatz71
    rmatz71 Posts: 1 Member
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    You weight will fluctuate daily, depending on things like water, what you ate the day before time of day, even the clothes that you are wearing. I've noticed that if I get on the scale more frequently than once every two weeks I start obsessing out about what it's telling me if I'm not losing what I expect to be losing.

    Allow for fluctuations, +/- 2%.

    Be sure to eat enough! If you don't consume enough calories your body will go into a 'starve' mode and start retaining/storing fat. (stupid survival mechanisms) :)

    If you are hungry, eat something! Just make good choices about what you are eating.

    Patience! No one got to where they are at overnight. It's going to take some time, if you lose too much too fast you risk regaining the weight that you lost.

    Changing the foods that eat is a lifestyle choice. If you think of losing weight as something temporary, it will be.

    If you have started an exercise program, this may also cause a fluctuation in weight simply because muscle is more dense than fat, and simply weighs more. That's where measuring comes in, don't just rely on the scale.

    Regarding exercise, be sure to track your workouts and how much you are burning. it might not seem like a lot but decreasing your calories, and starting a workout program at the same time without compensating for the calories being burned during the workout again could cause a 'starve mode' reaction that will cause you to retain weight.

    Good luck!
  • Samstan101
    Samstan101 Posts: 699 Member
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    Because the OP isn't of the mindset of what is a healthy sustainable diet yet. So eating what is generally understand as a 'normal' healthy choice of foods feels like a diet and depriving themselves of nice things.

    OP may feel that everyone who points this and the fact carryinggroceries isn't exercise is unsupportive, critical and mean but I get it. This was me until this year - many of our response here will be an excuse to reach for more nice food (aka high calorie junk). Unfortunately until the OP's mindset drastically alters then there is little chance of sustained success. And its difficult, very very difficult to make that lateration in thought process - it took me until I was 40 to stop kidding myself and blaming everyone and everything else and to take responsibility for my own behaviours and actions.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I've been insanely healthy for two years with slimming world, and now I need a break,

    this makes no sense... why would you want to have a 'break' from being healthy?????????

    Sometimes you just feel tired of exercising and avoiding junk food, or at least this happens to me.

    or fit the junk food in your calories, and have a break from exercise when you need it?

    having a 'break' from 'healthy' all together just seems silly... MFP is all about healthy lifestyle isnt it? not something you start or stop?
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
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    Because the OP isn't of the mindset of what is a healthy sustainable diet yet. So eating what is generally understand as a 'normal' healthy choice of foods feels like a diet and depriving themselves of nice things.

    OP may feel that everyone who points this and the fact carryinggroceries isn't exercise is unsupportive, critical and mean but I get it. This was me until this year - many of our response here will be an excuse to reach for more nice food (aka high calorie junk). Unfortunately until the OP's mindset drastically alters then there is little chance of sustained success. And its difficult, very very difficult to make that lateration in thought process - it took me until I was 40 to stop kidding myself and blaming everyone and everything else and to take responsibility for my own behaviours and actions.
  • SteviMcEwan
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  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
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    To the person who wrote the OP, venting is one thing, making excuses is another. Being fit and healthy requires discipline. There are failures and successes, that's just life. Whether you appreciate the tone of those replying to your OP or not, listen, take what is useful, and try again.

    And for those who continue to advise, here is something I have learned from almost 30 years of ministry: Giving advice to someone who won't listen is like trying to kiss a woman who keeps backing away from you. Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and take care of the body the Lord has given you (Psalm 139:13)
  • Wenchiness
    Wenchiness Posts: 126 Member
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    If I told you that I had eaten absolutely NO food for an entire hour, and still managed to burn all the calories needed to shower and dress myself, but I did not lose weight, you would scoff at me and say be real old lady, you aren't even giving it a chance.

    Guess what? You are saying basically the same thing only for a one week period. I only record my weight once a week for here, but yes, I step on the scale multiple times within the day, and can easily see a 5-6 pound variation. I will go 2-3 weeks seeming to lose only 1 pound per week then boom, doing pretty much the same thing the scale is down 4-5 lbs. I do the math, on the average, I am losing 1 pound every 3 to 3.5 days. It doesn't always show when I want it to, but overall it averages out.

    Your age shows as 21, yet you still live at home and eat what mom fixes for the family. Nothing against your mom, but I'm guessing she works, is feeding younger kids, and takes short cuts whenever possible, resulting in much prepared and junk food. I can't see your diary but I've seen what others have written. Guess what, now you are an adult, and YOU not Mommy are responsible for your diet choices. Snacks are tasty, I like them too, but they can not be the main focus of your diet or you, like the much of the rest of the world will be fat. I only had a husband to deal with when I started this program, and we shared the cooking, but I had to tell him, look I love you but I want to be healthy. I will not take away any of the foods you love, but I will not fix them, or taste them, and I will not eat them if you make them. I will eat what makes me lose and be healthy. Time for you to have that conversation with Mom, and then make sure you have extra helpings of eggs and veggies and whole grain foods that will fill and nurture yourself. Quit whining about what you don't have or can't do, be an adult and do it. And I apologize if the truth is too harsh for your overly sensitive little protected snowflake self, but geez, you're supposed to an adult. Be responsible for yourself and quit making excuses.
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
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    I've been insanely healthy for two years with slimming world, and now I need a break,

    this makes no sense... why would you want to have a 'break' from being healthy?????????

    Sometimes you just feel tired of exercising and avoiding junk food, or at least this happens to me.

    or fit the junk food in your calories, and have a break from exercise when you need it?

    having a 'break' from 'healthy' all together just seems silly... MFP is all about healthy lifestyle isnt it? not something you start or stop?

    Yesterday for lunch I had mince and veg in tomato sauce... today I had pizza and chips. Yesterday for dinner I had a vegetable and chicken stir-fry... today I am going out with friends for a Nando's. Actually quite similar in calories (400ish for lunch) but obviously one was better for me. Some days I eat more junk than others.
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
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    I've been insanely healthy for two years with slimming world, and now I need a break,

    this makes no sense... why would you want to have a 'break' from being healthy?????????

    Sometimes you just feel tired of exercising and avoiding junk food, or at least this happens to me.

    or fit the junk food in your calories, and have a break from exercise when you need it?

    having a 'break' from 'healthy' all together just seems silly... MFP is all about healthy lifestyle isnt it? not something you start or stop?

    Your lifestyle can still be healthy if you have some free days. That's what even non-dieting people do, you know? They keep themselves "on track" on most days but feel free to eat more on holidays and stuff like that. You don't need a break from a healthy mindset, just from the whole "diet" thing I guess...
  • Getawayfromthecake
    Getawayfromthecake Posts: 124 Member
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    To all the people thinking I WANT to give up for real, you don't know my situation. I do not want to give up for real, I just felt like that at the time. I have lost 20 pounds doing another thing, slimming world, which wasn't working anymore. I've done more work over the last two years losing weight than you probably have. I am sick of going through not losing weight each week. sick of it. losing weight for me, when I'm good at staying under calories, etc, is still really hard obviously. Some people on here have a really negative attitude. Who do you think you are telling me that I'm 'not ready' for MFP. That is so rude. And talking about turds is really gross. I don't like that.

    'I've done more work over the last two years losing weight than you probably have.' You can't call people rude for making presumptions and make them yourself.
    In reality I think you're probably overestimating the work you're putting in, underestimating calories. Somewhere inside you you'll be aware that you could be trying harder, you're just not ready to admit it yet. Which is why you're so defensive.

    People are trying to help you, everyone will have a different way of going about it but it's help regardless. Try to be grateful.
    You need to really scrutinize what you are doing and if there's any room for improvement... that's what you need to change.
    good luck.