Do you "check" your spouse?

13

Replies

  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    The article also said that women have their roles and men have their roles. Those roles don't need to be crossed, exchanged or anything.

    I would love to know what these 'roles' are??
    Depends on the individual person and marriage.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I sometimes check out my husband when he's in fitted clothes. Does that count?

    Sometimes I check to see if my husband has some extra cash when I go shopping:-)
    Should I stop doing that?

    Yeah, they'll tell you at the cash register. Buhleive me!
  • VelvetMorning
    VelvetMorning Posts: 398 Member
    Why would someone be in a relationship with someone that they have to "check"? Maybe I didn't understand the meaning of "check" here, but I assume it means nit picking your spouse? If your husband/wife is a good person, which they should be, why would you check them? Otherwise, why get into a relationship with someone you have to 'change' to be to your standards? Just get a girl/guy who is already at your standard. Right?
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Hell yeah...my wife took a vow to listen to me and do what I say and ****....I say make me a sammich and then get your *kitten* back in the kitchen and make me a pie...

    Srsly...do you have a time machine...where did you find such an idiotic article outside of 1952?
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    I believe that woman want to be loved and men want respect. Usually if that happens everyone is happy.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    The article also said that women have their roles and men have their roles. Those roles don't need to be crossed, exchanged or anything.

    I would love to know what these 'roles' are??
    Depends on the individual person and marriage.

    In the context of the article?
  • Greywalk
    Greywalk Posts: 193 Member
    Check my spouse????? Think not, last time I looked at myself I was so far from perfect I thought it best to keep my mouth closed.
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    I believe that woman want to be loved and men want respect. Usually if that happens everyone is happy.
    Both deserve love and respect. It's not a gender thing.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    I believe that woman want to be loved and men want respect. Usually if that happens everyone is happy.
    Both deserve love and respect. It's not a gender thing.

    I agree. But I also think there are very specific gender things. We are different in some very basic and complicated ways. We are not the same.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    I believe that woman want to be loved and men want respect. Usually if that happens everyone is happy.
    Both deserve love and respect. It's not a gender thing.

    I agree. But I also think there are very specific gender things. We are different in some very basic and complicated ways. We are not the same.

    respect is just as high or higher than love on my list. but, then again I would say showing respect IS showing love.
  • BarbellBlondieRuns
    BarbellBlondieRuns Posts: 511 Member
    Haha, um no. I married him. I'm not his mother. We both have a right to be ourselves. I don't know why people think it's ok to judge the people that they should be the most supportive of.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    I would love to know what these 'roles' are??
    Depends on the individual person and marriage.

    In the context of the article?

    In the original post it just the wife should focus on being a good wife and the husband should focus on being a good husband.i did not read anything outside of this thread's OP for the article.
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
    Check for what? The clap?
  • iLOVEbabySARA13
    iLOVEbabySARA13 Posts: 88
    I'm not positive the context of OP's question...but I'll respond with what I THINK it means.

    I check him alright. If he's being a jerk, I'll call him out. If he's being a pig, or super lazy, I'll give him a nudge (but ONLY because I know that's what he wants...he used to be 280 pounds and doesn't want that again). If he's being spineless and not standing up for himself, I build him up.

    And he'll be the first to tell me if I'm being ridiculous...or completely hormonal and psycho. Lol.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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  • KL145
    KL145 Posts: 15
    Um.. yes I do! He is used to it by now.He even check himself before I do it for him.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I think he got tired of everyone at that meeting checking him.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    I try to.
    It gets harder once you have have more than one and start forgetting who's supposed to do what. But I have it under control.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?

    I don't check him because he doesn't know how to skate and has never played ice hockey, so it really wouldn't be fair of me to do that. I'd flatten him.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
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    Being prone to fits of rampant dumbassery, I'm incredibly happy with a wife who will keep me in check, and who welcomes the same from me.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I think every relationship has its own rules and it's own "normal." As long as you and your SO are agreed on the terms of your relationship then it's all good.

    It doesn't sound like you agree with the article, and that's fine as long as your SO agrees with your outlook. If someone else wants to approach their marriage that way and their spouse agrees then that's fine too.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,281 Member
    Why would someone be in a relationship with someone that they have to "check"? Maybe I didn't understand the meaning of "check" here, but I assume it means nit picking your spouse? If your husband/wife is a good person, which they should be, why would you check them? Otherwise, why get into a relationship with someone you have to 'change' to be to your standards? Just get a girl/guy who is already at your standard. Right?

    That seems very naïve - of course you can get into a relationships with someone who is a good person and 'at your standard '- but people change over time and even good people do things the other partner finds annoying or doesn't agree with - in a long term relationship there will be times you need to speak up about these.

    Nicely and in a non hurtful way, sure - but keep quiet and don't communicate your concerns, No.
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
    I think in order for any relationship to actually work, both parties need to be willing to say how they feel AND willing to listen to the other person. If I have a problem with something my boyfriend is doing, I feel comfortable talking to him about it and explaining my issues. If I do something upsetting to him, he is comfortable talking to me about it. We are always willing to hear the other person out, disagree calmly and compromise when we have differing opinions. Neither one of us feels the need to beat around the bush, sugar-coat and (least of all) stay quiet about our problems. This has made for a strong bond between us. I think the practice of minding your own business in a partnership takes the "partner" part out of it. I want to be with a person where I feel like I'm on their team and my opinion matters... and vice-versa.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,281 Member
    I believe that woman want to be loved and men want respect. Usually if that happens everyone is happy.
    Both deserve love and respect. It's not a gender thing.

    I agree. But I also think there are very specific gender things. We are different in some very basic and complicated ways. We are not the same.

    I think the need for love and respect in long term relationships is not something different between men and women - love and respect needs to be given/received by both partners for a relationship to work.
    There is no gender division in this.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    sounds like something someone would say who hasn't had a long term relationship.
  • Nimnyn
    Nimnyn Posts: 69 Member
    I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?
    Check for what? Contraband?

    enlarged prostate was my first thought.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I think every relationship has its own rules and it's own "normal." As long as you and your SO are agreed on the terms of your relationship then it's all good.

    It doesn't sound like you agree with the article, and that's fine as long as your SO agrees with your outlook. If someone else wants to approach their marriage that way and their spouse agrees then that's fine too.

    I think your post and the one above you highlights this point quite well. I was once in a relationship with a childhood friend of a cousin who was all over the place. When my cousin who is a male hinted that his friend might need some more reigning in ( I forget how he put it) I realized that his "good heart" was not for me. I like a man who knows right from wrong and has an inner compass. I don't want to become a nag to anyone just to get by in life. So for me that was so far from normal and so I left that guy. My cousin seemed apalled that I would not welcome the chance to boss around such a handsome and charismatic charmer with a famously big shalong, but nah, to me that's not a man. I need to be with someone more self reliant and if less charming is part of it then so be it. But notice I'm not compromising on other things? We all have our priorities:wink: . To me not having to babysit a grown man is one of them.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?
    Check for what? Contraband?

    enlarged prostate was my first thought.

    at first I laughed, then felt the need to cough.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    My husband already has a mother who nags him. He doesn't need me to add to it.

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